Newborn Problems.. Help!

Call a friend to help. Try to feed them at the same time for every feeding.
Rock them, sing to them, cuddle them. Can't believe they sent you home
at 10:30. Did someone take you home?

Oh, how sad! It's difficult enough to care for a newborn, let alone two and then to lose your bf too.

Tomorrow, or Monday call the hospital and ask to be connected with a visiting nurse. Ask to speak to a social worker. My daughter was barely 20 when her first was born and thus was considered to be a high risk mother. The hospital set up regular visits with a nurse.

Could a friend come over to stay with you and help with the babies? Just having another person there would be a big help.

As far as crying, do they need a diaper change and/or to be fed? Perhaps they just need to be held and rocked while you say loving things to them with soothing sounds.

This must be so scary for you. I do not understand the hospital discharging you this early and especially not at night. You can do it, though. It's just going to be rough until you get the hang of it.

If you're breast feeding call the LeLeche league for help. Or again ask the hospital or your doctor to refer you to a lactation specialist.

For now, if your milk hasn't come in or if there isn't enough milk it might help to bottle feed as a supplement. It's OK to not breast feed too. Get formula and bottles at the grocery store.

I wish you lived closer to me. I'd come over to help.

Nurses aren't suppose to teach you anything, their job is to care for the baby and you. You are supposed to educate yourself on your own, and hospitals even provide infant childcare classes you take during your pregnancy for that very reason. Or, you can read one of the books out there about caring for a newborn. That is one reason why pregnancy is so long... so that we have the chance to prepare for raising and taking care of an infant(s).

But, I am very surprised they released you after only one day so late at night, especially with twins. The hospitals around here usually prefer to wait 2 days for first time mothers. I'm guessing it's an insurance related issue.

I'm so sorry you lost your boyfriend, hopefully you have good friends/family to offer support. Are you returning to work and have childcare set up? If you are staying home, how are you going to support yourself and the children? Do you have someone coming by for the next few weeks to help you out? These are things you need to plan for right away.

You can still call the hospital and ask if you can take the class, you can contact the La Leche League for guidance if you are breastfeeding. Call the hospital, they have social workers that can help. Do you go to a church? Call the women's ministry. It sounds like you need help right now.

In the meantime, get the book "What To Expect the First Year" to teach you a bit about caring for newborns and infants, it helped me out tons and you can get it for cheap o amazon.

Dr. Sears has some excellent advice on his website, it talks about feeding, sleeping issues and all that. So does babycenter. There are also lots of helpful websites on twins. I highly recommend you read through them.

Babies cry for a myriad of reasons, they are hungry, they have gas, they need to be burped, they have reflux, they are tired, they are overstimulated, they want to be held or rocked, they are cold, they are hot, they are uncomfortable, their diaper is too tight, the snaps on the onesie pinched their skin, they are bothered by a harsh light or smell or loud sound.... so you need to check each of these things to figure out why the baby is crying. You will eventually learn their cues, but mostly at this stage they are probably just hungry, need a diaper change, have gas or want to be held/rocked.

I hope all that helps, do everything in your power to educate yourself and get help. Call your pediatrician when needed, don't be embarrassed. Good luck!

http://askdrsears.com
http://www.babycenter.com
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias...

Is your mom there? Do you have a friend or aunt or cousin that can help you? Do you live with your family?

Keep in mind that newborns need to eat often because they have very tiny tummies. If you are breastfeeding, they might honestly need to eat every 1 to 3 hours. Formula fed babies might only need to eat every 3 or 4 hours.

If a newborn is crying, it is usually because the are hungry or because they want to be held. We spent many hours just sitting on the couch or in the rocking chair holding our boys.

When I saw your profile (single teen mom of twins) I have to tell you, my first thought was place the for adoption. I really hope that doesn't sound like I'm uncaring. As a mom of two boys, I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be to be a single mom of one, let alone two. And I really have no idea how hard it would be to be a teen mom.

If you have lots of people to support you, that's wonderful. If not, I might seriously think about adoption.

Having worked in an OB department at a hospital, in situations like yours, moms weren't released before meeting with a social worker to evaluate mom's emotional health and support systems in place, etc. In fact, we didn't discharge patients without making sure the babies had proper car seats and were leaving in a vehicle with properly working seat belts, etc.
We even had some high risk cases where home health nurses would do a home visit within a week after the babies going home.

If you have no support system in place, you should contact the OB/GYN that cared for you or contact the hospital directly to speak to the social worker about resources and referrals.

The hospital system here would never have allowed a woman who had just given birth to leave on her own whether it be driving herself or getting on a bus. It simply wouldn't happen. We had a 15 year old patient and mom was free to leave, but the baby wasn't going anywhere until an adult family member stepped forward and was cleared by the social worker as being able to provide a stable home for both of them.
We had a 17 year old whose boyfriend was completely incapacitated after being in a very serious car accident. The poor mom lost it, emotionally, when she learned that the father couldn't be on the birth certificate because they weren't married, he was on life support in a different county and couldn't sign the legal paternity forms. I felt so badly for her. Again, this was a case where the social workers made sure, because of the fact she was a minor, she had just given birth and had the other trauma going on, that she was being released to a safe environment for her and the baby. Fortunately, she had parents and a ton of support so it wasn't an issue to discharge her and the baby.

You had two babies. It's not that I don't believe you, I just can't believe a hospital wouldn't have looked more carefully into your home situation and making sure you have help to insure the health of the babies.

It sounds like you need help. Call the hospital and get help where it will do you the best. Close to home.
Emotional support is abundant here, but it sounds like you have more of an immediate need.

Very best wishes to you.

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. The hospital should have given you one more night, but that's in the past and you need to focus on what's happening right now. Don't worry about tomorrow or 6 weeks from now. This is one of those moments where it sucks, but you need to suck it up and focus on taking care of your wonderful babies.

Keep it simple to start with. Are they hungry or need a diaper change? Then get more specific, like are they warm enough or too warm? Dress them as you are dressed but add another layer then. Baths can wait, especially since they have fresh umbilical cords. Just wipe them down with a warm wash cloth every few days. Keep them fed, clean and safe. That's what newborns need.

When you have a moment call and ask for help. Even if a friend can come over while you shower. Around 6 weeks you'll feel like you're getting the hang of it. That's when babies start getting better about sleeping too. Best of luck to you on your new adventure that may not be fun now, but will be one day :)

If they don't stop crying try a warm soothing sponge bath. After I had my son I went through the same thing. It can be so stressful and every mom goes through the breaking down point where you dont know what to do but just cry. Remember take a deep breath. Try placing one baby in a swing and the other in the bouncy chair. You have to find what soothes each baby. Newborns can be so hard but it gets better. Do you have any family members that have kids you can call for a support group? Keep your head up I promise it gets better and give it about a month the me eternal part of you will kick in.

Did anyone teach you how to swaddle? Babies like to be wrapped up in a blanket like when they were in your womb. If you don't know how - google it!

2nd eating - newborns will eat every 2 hours or more. If you are nursing you will have to offer the breast for each every 2 hours even if you milk has not come in. If you are doing formula make sure they are fed and burped. Then swaddle and let them sleep. They should eat, sleep, eat, sleep etc most of the time right now.

You need to find a way to take care of yourself. Maybe someone to come over so that you can sleep. Also, anytime the babies are sleeping you need to lay down. Take any opportunity to sleep that you can. You will need the energy to deal with this.

Finally - hugs! I can't imagine how hard this is going to be for you. Hang in there.

Wow, this is so disturbing...I am sorry this happened. It's ok...you know what to do, you just haven't tapped into it yet...go with your gut, tap into your gut instincts. Talk to your pediatrician, talk to your OB/GYN, talk to anyone who will listen and LISTEN to yourself...these babies came out of you...by nature of having given birth to them you know what is best, you just have to learn to connect to what you know. I normally would not recommend books, but Eat Sleep Poop but Dr. Scott Cohen is the least anxiety inducing book out there and a great book to help you realize you already know what to do...its a lot having a child, let alone two...Diaper clean, swaddle, feeeeeeed (full babies are happy babies), (colic - if they are fed, clean and otherwise comfy but still crying probably colic) - bounce and gripe water...sound machine!!!!

Good luck,

www.mommyoftheyear.net

I would call the hospital and ask for new mom support groups and the lactation consultant. In Massachusetts if the baby is born before 4 or 5 PM then you get to stay one night, if after that time (mine was at 8 PM) i was able to stay 2 nights but wanted to go home so I only stayed one BUT that meant I was allowed a visit by a visiting nurse, who checked my episiotomy and checked out the baby.
In many states, dialing “211” provides individuals and families in need with a shortcut through what may be a bewildering maze of health and human service agencies’ phone numbers. By simply dialing 211, those in need of assistance are referred, and sometimes connected, to appropriate agencies and community organizations. I would use the 211 number and ask for teenmom and newborn services advice.
Call your local church even if you do not go there and ask for a new moms group and get connected with other new moms, there is nothing like discussing issues with someone going through the same thing even if they are not your age. Call a middle school and ask for a girlscout leader to call since they do community service and you could be their project. Ask the neighbors if they know a mother's helper which is usually a young girl in the neighborhood who for a small hourly fee comes and assists with simple things, like feeding a baby a bottle while you feed the other, or changing and rocking a baby.
Call the pediatrician and ask for help, since your babies health is their concern and they can usually connect you with state agencies that offer free services.
Call and ask anyone and everyone for help, now is the time to get assertive and be bold and ask for help since you really need it. Like another mom said, if you lived closer or were my neighbor I would come over to help you, and I am certain others will feel the same if you make them aware of your situation.

Take a deep breath. You need to think of anyone you might be able to call to come & help you. A friend, mom, neighbor, cousin etc.
Don't leave your babies w/a neighbor but maybe they can come help you.
Call the hospital & ask them if they have a newborn class or any literature for you.
They will want to eat every 1-2 hrs approx if breastfed & every 3 hours approximately if being formula fed.
Put one in a swing, bouncy chair or car seat on the floor of your house while you feed one.
If they cry, they are usually 1 of 3 things: hungry, have a wet diaper or need you to hold them.
When this small they sleep better being swaddled in a blanket which they should have shown you how to do at the hospital. It keep their arms by their sides & they feel more snug like in a cocoon like being in your tummy.
When they cry, change diaper, feed them, hold them (you can hold both if you need to while sitting on a couch).
If anyone offers help, take them up on their offer.
Take things one day at a time. Try not to think ahead for now. One day at time will help you adjust.
Rest/sleep when they sleep. You need your energy.

I don't know what relationship you have with your ob/gyn doctor, but call them and see if they know of resources that can help you - and tell them about the discharge from the hospital cause that just sounds wrong. If you belong to a church, give them a call too - perhaps some moms can help you with this transition. And call your friends as well. If you have some mom friends, they may be able to help "train" you up.

Jesse L has some great advice.

Newborns usually cry for one of four reasons - dirty diaper, hungry, gassy (need burped) or just want held. Are you nursing the babies or are you bottle feeding? I have had 2 babies one of the sensitive or low gas formulas - if they continue to cry with the normal formula you might want to try that. But babies do cry a lot.

Do you have any friends or family that would be willing to help you get a little rest here and there. Also, check around your area - their might be a pregancy center that offers free classes on baby care & some of them offer rewards for taking the classes as well & also help with care for the babies while you are in the class.

But usually - when they cry... try giving them a bottle, change their diaper, cuddle & burp them & put them down. You will have to do one at a time and usually they eat about ever 2-3 hours on a bottle. So, yes... it will seem like that is all you are doing. But as they get older the feedings will farther apart & when they become toddlers & little people they will always have a playmate and someone to count on.

Congratz & good luck - give it a few days, you will come up with a routen - remember eat and sleep when you can.

Oh, so you know I have 6 kids with the first one being born when I was 17 years old & have questioned what I am doing with all of them. I haven't had any twins, but I do have 2 sets of "Irish twins" which means I have to groups of kids that are less the 18 mo. apart in age & sometimes that can be hard as well.

Take care & don't turn down help if you are asked if you need it. Also, ask for help if know someone can help you... sometimes it is better for a child to be raised knowing they are loved & by a community.

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but sometimes newborns cry for no reason. I didn't know this was the case with my first child, and I became frantic trying to comfort him, but I don't think, looking back, that there was anything wrong except that he was no longer in that nice, snug womb.

A wonderful books is "The Happiest Baby on the Block." You can check it out from your library, but for now, just do a Google search for the 5 Ss from that book. These are five techniques to help you soothe a fussy newborn if that newborn is not hungry and is not wet (in other words, if you can't find anything the matter).

It must feel very daunting right now, but this too shall pass. Do you have any family or close friends who could come stay with you for a week or two to help out? Anyone who can come over during the day? Do you have a church - sometimes they will prepare meals for you, so that's one less thing you have to do. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT, AND ACCEPT HELP WHEN IT'S OFFERED. Having help will be key to getting through the first couple of months of babyhood. Doing this on your own is just inconceivable. Good luck.

ETA: Here is a link that explains the theory of the Fourth Trimester and the 5 S's. http://drphil.com/articles/article/274

Hi C.,

I have one piece of advice that hasn't already been mentioned. Call DONA International or head to their website and look for a Post Partum Doula in your area. There are some who are waiting to be certified and will help out for no charge in order to get certified. It is www.DONA.org

You might also contact your local churches. Often times there are people willing to come and lend a hand while you get on your feet.

Best of luck, hang tough, and if things get bad, put your babies in a crib and walk outside for a couple of minutes until you can deal with them again rationally. While outside, call for HELP! Phone a friend, neighbor, church, OB/GYN...someone. If all else fails and you are really at your wits end, you can leave your babies at a fire department, where they will ask no questions.

You can do this!
T. Nelson

hang in there and breathe. feed them. they may be hungry. put one in a swing and hold one to feed so you can burp the baby. then switch. this should give you some time after. if you are breast feeding then let them latch on. one on each side. do you have a friend or parent that can help you?

feed, change, burp, hold, repeat. Call friends and family to help out. There are classes you can take and books you can read, but basically, experience is what you need. Feed about every three hours. Make the necessary post delivery doctor appt. for you and for them. remember - they are babies...they need you - and you need to care for them.

First of all ... take a big deep breath and relax. All your babies need right now is your attention and love and lots of sleep. Feed them, change their diapers and give them lots of cuddles. If you have anyone you can call on for help, i.e. family, friends, etc., then do!! Having one baby on your own is tough enough but I can't imagine what it must be like with twins. I also recommend that if you can get your hands on the book "What to Expect The First Year" ... it will be very helpful. Mostly just try to relax if you can. Your babies are probably picking up on your stress and that will make them agitated. If you can be calm, they will calm down as well. Best of luck to you and hang in there. You'll settle into a routine soon. Take care!!

Congratulations on your babies. You are overwhelmed right now ( actually you sound pretty good considering) but things will get better. I don't know where Ft. Rock is, but I'm wondering if there is a doula service you could contact. Sometimes doulas are available for free for very needy women -it seems like you are a candidate! I live in Seattle and I know there is something like this available -especially women who are in training to become doulas. There are birth doulas as well as newborn doulas. I wish you the best of luck. -My daughter just woke up, so I am cutting this short. I hope you will continue to post questions you have.

I'm so sorry!! I wish I lived near by- I would come right over to help!!! You should not be out of bed for a week, much less be in sole charge of two newborns!! The good news is, they will sleep a lot. Listen for an "aaaaa" cry. That universally is the hungry sound for babies. Nurse on demand. It will help them be comforted and help your uterus go down and get your hormone levels in sync. Let them sleep with you in bed. Don't try to do anything other than drink water, pee and keep your perineal care going, nurse, and sleep. Oh, and change diapers - keep the diapers and wipes and garbage by your bed so you can just change them on your lap. They don't even need to wear clothes if you are snuggling them skin to skin!

Call anyone you can to ask for help. Anyone you know who will come make you a couple meals to keep in the fridge? You just really need to stay off your feet, or your healing process will take much longer (trust me I've learned with my 4 experiences!). Any mom you know, even if you don't know her well, should be happy you called her for help and most women will be more than willing to come hold babies!!! Especially those over 50!!!

I'm on WIC and my girls are on Medical Assistance. Both offered in home visits after my girls were born, even though I didn't need it at the time. But you should call and ask if there is any kind of help they can send you. Resources are available, and in your situation PLEASE take any help you are offered! You can pay it back to another needy mom in the future when you are able. I will say prayers for you!! Feel free to privately message me if you want. I know I'm a stranger, but I seriously would be knocking on your door to help if I could. I'm really hoping to be a doula once my girls are all in school.

Take a deep breath, and then a few more, until you feel a little calmer. Twins are overwhelming for even the most prepared and assisted people; mine are two and I can hardly remember the newborn stage - its a lot of work, little sleep and no gratitude, but you will survive and so will your little ones.
Try not to give yourself a hard time - I remember having an ideal of how things would go (with breast feeding, sleeping, dressing) and all of them went out the window when those babies came home. We did what we had to in order to survive and that meant no showers for 2 or 3 days in a row (for the first few months), supplementing with formula a lot, and one or both of the babies (and sometimes mom) crying almost all the time.
Babies cry, and if you can only get to one at a time, they cry more, but you just have to focus on what needs to be done for the baby you are handling at the moment and know that the other baby will be ok until you can get to them. Relish any quiet, happy moments that come along...really relish them, they will help you through the tough moments.
Take advantage of any help - from your ob, pediatrician, hospital, lactation consultant, mom's group, etc. ask any and all of them your questions because if they cannot answer them, they should be able to point you to someone who can. Don't be intimidated to take you babies to new mom's groups, there is almost always someone there who can help out with one or both babies while you get a little adult interaction.
I'm not really sure where you are located, but you could search for a multiples group in your area. Go to Nomotc.org and see what you can find for resources. The group here in Portland is called Full House Moms and Dads and they may also be able to give some guidance, or you may be able to join (again, not sure of the location issue). FHM has a smaller group specifically for single parents of multiples, so there are definitely people who have been where you are. Fullhousemoms.com
There have been some great suggestions so far. You can always put them in their cribs and walk away for a minute or two if you are feeling too overwhelmed. You are doing a great job, and one that a lot of people cannot even fathom. Take a deep breath, it will be ok. I know it is tough to see right now, but twins are a blessing that a lot of people don't get to experience. I will be praying for you and your little ones. Congratulations on your twins!