Newborn Days and Nights Mixed Up

hey girl - congrats on the new little one! :) the first week is the tough one - they just want to sleep pretty much all the time! I just had my 3rd - she is getting close to 4 months old now, and for all three of mine, I used the book 'On Becoming Babywise' as a guide for getting them on a schedule, and helping them learn how to sleep through the night. My oldest slept through the night at 7 weeks, my 2nd at 5 weeks, and my new little one at 6 weeks. We are now putting my 3 1/2 month old down between 8 & 8:30, and i have to wake her up at 7 - it really is a great help, especially as you try to get them to sleep, so you can sleep!

good luck - i wish you the best - sending hugs!
~T.

It's part of a newborn's job description to mix up days and nights. Actually, it's reasonable. She just met day and night four days ago! How does she know what they're for?

Some babies are more agreeable than others about this, but all of them have to learn, and that takes some time. She's sleeping because she's tired, and when she's not tired she'll stay awake, and she doesn't give a hoot what time it is (she can't tell time, anyhow).

So I think you're going to have to put up with it for a while. It's not easy, but it WON'T last very long. Rest whenever you can, and don't worry about the house - the laundry and the dishes will wait for you. If you have any favors you can call in from friends or relatives so they can come in and do some housework for you, this is the time!

Best advice I got and used was to wake the baby at 31/2 hours to change and feed during the day. Let the baby sleep longer at night. It's tempting to let them go longer than 3 1/2 hours when you have another one - to get things done. Don't do it you pay at night and I am all about my sleep. It takes awhile. They have so much to figure out. She doesn't know there is a difference. Also no playing at night. All business - change, feed, change again when need, down to crib. Daytime is when we play. Good luck! This too will pass. My kids are older now, can't believe how quickly this goes by. I still don't get sleep at night. Waiting for teenagers to come home and so far no major issues with curfew! Then I can't fall asleep!!!

This is pretty typical. My 3 mo old is now sleeping 5-6 hours straight, so know that you'll eventually get there. We co-sleep at night like most other countries do, but she naps in her playpen or crib during the day. Personally, I love cosleeping since I can just roll over and nurse her, then keep on sleeping. My first 4 days were like yours when I didn't co-sleep, we were using a bassinet, and I was exhausted. I get a lot of looks and/or comments (seems the most favored question people ask is "are you getting enough sleep?") when I tell people I co-sleep, but I am getting enough sleep AND my 16 year old and 12 year old don't sleep with us anymore :-P

Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do about it. My kids are older now, but I seem to recall the doctor telling me it takes about 3 weeks for them to switch around. Do you have a family member or trusted babysitter who can play with your 2 year old and allow you to nap during the day? What about napping with your 2-year-old? Both of my kids had sleep issues as infants and toddlers so I did a lot of research and took a class about kids and sleep. I don't think there is much you can do about a baby's sleep schedule until about 4 months. I always recommend Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America," for sleep issues. Good luck and congrats on the new baby.

When she is napping durning the day allow her to nap in a quiet semi dark place but do not allow her to get deep sleep for too long. Every hour or half hour stir her. Cause her to move, stretch, or squirm. This will break the deep sleep cycle. If you do this during the day she will need more deep sleep at night and will sleep longer periods since you will not be stirring her at night. We called it stirring the baby. When my daughter was a newborn I was given this advice and it worked great for her and for my son when he was born two years later. Both my kids slept great at night from about 2-3 weeks. It will take a little bit.

For you 2 year old, does he have a consistent bed time? Does he need to go to be earlier? Does he wake up with the baby? Those are things you may need to work on with him. Good Luck. These times of sleeplessness will pass. You can make it.

My daughter had this issue when she was newborn too. Unfortunately when they want to sleep there is not a lot you can do to wake them. Just keep doing what you are doing during the day. At night make sure things are dark, no lamp left on in her room. When she wakes, go to her take care of her needs but not a lot of talk. Keep thing direct to the point and as quiet as possible at night. She will figure it out, but it will be hard on you until she does.

I agree with a lot of the comments already. It is virtually impossible at that young age to train them completely. However, one thing that I would add is NOT to keep things bright and loud ALL the time or it will just teach her to sleep through anything. I would give her 3-4 "naps" a day when you have her in her room (quiet and dark, if possible). That will help her get "better" sleep and help her body to start to understand what naps are and stay away more when it is not nap time. But, it takes a while, so don't expect it to happen overnight.

This is normal. At 4 days old, you cannot regulate a sleeping schedule. She WILL sleep as she needs it, and she will need a lot of it. Try scheduling your son's sleeping patterns instead. Even if he is up at 5:00, he doesn't have to stay up. Encourage and train his sleeping patterns to stay in bed until the sun is up (or whatever time you choose). Good luck.

I would feed my children every 1-2 hours during the day. It helped with them sleeping longer at night. We kept it pretty bright and noisy during the day too. c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s!

There is hope. You can fix it. The people that said to wake the baby more frequently during the day are absolutely right. I did it with both of mine. It's exhausting the first few days, but totally worth it. I woke mine very 2 1/2 hrs during the day and let them go 4hrs at night. It works. Promise. Congrats on the new baby! Don't worry. You will sleep again. ;)

Feed her every 2 hours. So wake her up after 2 hours! Also, make sure you get the house really dark before bedtime. If you can't wake her, rock her like a rag doll --sit her on one knee, holding her up right with that hand, and then rock her gently into the other hand. They can't sleep if they are sitting up.

Don't use noise to keep her up, it's all white noise to a 4-day-old and makes it easier to sleep through:( But really, you're right, there isn't much you can do but keep trying to interact with her during awake times and keep everything bright during the day and dark at night. Change her before or 1/2-way through nursing/feeding at night so that she can nurse back to sleep after being changed, then put her down. And don't change her unless she's pooped or is REALLY wet.
Your son is just waking as a reaction to the changes in the house. He'll go back to sleeping soon, I promise:) I'd guess she's probably going to get things turned around pretty quickly, babies usually take a week or so to get used to the day/night change.