New Mom Fears

Hi N.,

Congrats on your new baby. I found the following info on Kellymom on how to tell if your baby is getting enough:

WEIGHT GAIN:
If baby is gaining well on mom’s milk alone, then baby is getting enough. A 5-7% weight loss during the first 3-4 days after birth is normal. Baby should regain birth weight by 2 weeks. Once mom’s milk comes in, average weight gain is 6 oz/week.

WET DIAPERS: 5 - 6+ sopping wet diapers per day (after 1st week). Expect one wet diaper on day one, increasing to 5-6 by one week. To feel what a sufficiently wet diaper is like, pour 3 tablespoons (45 mL) of water into a clean diaper (if baby wets more often, then the amount of urine per diaper may be less). Urine should be pale and mild smelling.

DIRTY DIAPERS: 3 – 4+ dirty diapers per day (after day 4).
Stools should be yellow (no meconium) by day 5 and the size of a US quarter (2.5 cm) or larger. The normal stool of a breastfed baby is usually yellow and is loose (soft to watery, may be seedy or curdy).

OTHER POSITIVE SIGNS: After a feeding, mom’s breast feels softer and baby seems reasonably content. Baby is alert, active and meeting developmental milestones.

I hope this eases your mind a little! If you still are finding it difficult to relax in the next few weeks and are overly worried about things, talk to your doctor. I had postpartum depression/anxiety and one of the symptoms was that I was worried about everything. Your worries may just pass on their own, though, as you become comfortable with being a new mom.

Good luck!

Dear N.,

It is very scary being a new Mom and wondering if you are doing everything "right" and especially so when you are breast feeding! And it is scary when you start thinking about doing it ALONE all day while your husband is at work. Breath a little easier knowing that being scared is a GOOD sign - it means that you are engaged with your little one and want the best for them.

Here are some practical solutions:
1. Others have pointed out ways to tell that your baby is getting enough, so I won't repeat those but paying attention to diaper output makes sure that there is input.

2. Check with your Doctors office and see if you can come by the office to do an extra weigh in each week - be clear that you won't need to be seen or anything but that you are interested in being SURE that the baby is gaining.

3. If the Dr. says that they won't do that or that they will charge you then use your own bathroom scale at home - you get on the scale with and without the baby and see how much baby has gained. If you don't have a bathroom scale, then find something around your house that weighs the same amount as your baby (bowling ball, 3 pairs of shoes, etc.) and then do a comparison to reassure yourself.

4. Join a breast feeding group or a Moms and Tots group - those each offer amazing support. If you live in Houston, there is a new mom's group at the Motherhood Center on W. Alabama on a weekly basis (and I believe that their office also has a scale where you could weigh baby). Just be sure that the group you go to is one that matches WHO YOU ARE - if you don't like the group then don't go back.

5. Be sure to take some time for yourself! Being a new Mom is very stressful and being a new breast-feeding Mom is exhausting at best, so allow your friends and family to help you out so that you can get the rest that you need.

Good luck and many blessings,
stacy

N......you will do fine. I breastfed all 3 of my kids for a year or more each. That is alot of breastfeeding! I think that breastfeeding is so much easier than bottle feeding. There is no warming, sterlizing and washing bottles. But, if you need a break...that is OK too. All you have to do is pump or even give the baby some formula. That helps dad feel closer to the baby....let him have a feeding when he comes home from work. He can love on the baby and give you a break.
You can be as flexible as you and your baby want or need to be.

First let me say every woman feels this way. It is a scary thing but you can do this. You baby will let you know when he needs to eat. As each day goes by it will get easier. I kept a log for my babies life the 1st 6 months. I recorded naps, feedings (duration and which breast) urine and bm's. It enables you to feel more in control of the situation. It is also helpful to you in learning their schedules. Pretty soon you are going to have all this mastered and laugh at yourself for being scared. Good luck and blessings to you.

It's completely normal for newborns to loose weight at first. You will probably get over this fear when you see baby start to grow and gain weight. That being said, you can supplement w/ formula if you are worried that you aren't producing enough, or you could pump and see just how much you are producing (it can be hard to tell otherwise).
Some women don't produce enough milk, but as long as your baby is pink, her skin is soft and supple, she is making wet diapers, having regular BM's, her soft spot is not sunken, and her mouth is pink and moist, she is probably just fine! So just pay attention to her and time will make you more confident.

Congratulations on your baby! And on breastfeeding!

I agree with what most of these women had to say.

Weight gain varies from baby to baby. Acceptable weight gain is .5-1 oz per day in the first 6mos and .25-.5 oz the 2nd 6mos of life. You said your baby has already back to birth weight at 12sy -- you're doing awesome!

What was said about output is spot on: 6+ wet and 3+ dirty. I will add that if baby only eliminates once a day, but it blows out...that counts for all three dirties that day :-)

Nursing on demand is the best thing you can do for your baby and to ensure your supply is not endangered. Be aware of using a pacifier very often this early in baby's life - if baby wants to suck, it needs to be on you for at least a few more weeks.

For yourself: please find a group of moms in your area that you can meet with regularly. Being a SAHM can be very isolating at times. Since you're in a big city like Houston, there is bound to be a Moms Group in your area.
Also, going to La Leche League meetings would only be to your advantage. It is a fantastic resource of Mom-to-Mom support! There are always experienced mamas there to share their experiences and help you with whatever current challenge you may have. Lack of confidence in milk supply is something that most every mom there would be able to empathize and encourage you about.
Here is a link to find a local meeting:
http://www.lllhouston.org/FindMeeting.html

If you are bf-ing, perhaps you're baby wearing too? A sling, pouch or Moby? If you are interested in Attachment Parenting as described by Dr. Sears, there is an AP group that meets in Central Houston and also in the Woodlands.

HTH and please feel free to email me if you have any questions for me or if something I wrote needs clarifying.

K., mama to
Catherine, 5.5y
Samuel, 2.5y
Baby 9/09

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Fear not however, because you are all your baby needs when it comes to food,at least in the first few months. As long as your baby is gaining weight, you can purchase a weight monitor and put your baby in a tray on top of it to keep an eye on his weight.`Even without that, you can tell he's gaining weight by his clothing as they get more smug.

I have a 2 month old (my 3rd baby) and he now wears 3-6 months clothing, so you will definitely know that you are doing it right.

It is very rare to not be able to produce enough for your baby. Just use your intuition to know when they are hungry and nurse whenever they are. A new baby can be so scary, but you will get the hang of it and everything will be fine. Recognize that the fear you are experiencing is normal, but it doesn't really mean that your baby isn't getting enough.

It's normal to be scared - do you have friends or family you can depend on? Turn to for advice? If so, use them...

You should have already gone in for a check up after delivery. Was it normal - did they think the baby was developing and eating enough?

You should have another visit coming up - discuss your concerns with your doctor. If they see your baby is not thriving - getting enough food from you - they may recommend you begin some formula feeding.

Hi N.:)
Congratulations on your new little one. Well first your hormones will continue to regulate and even out and that will help tremendously. That little baby is so much more resilient than it may seem at the moment. It is so great that your baby is back to birth weight, sounds like you are doing an awesome job! Your fears will subside. You will get up everyday with your little baby and be a mommy and feed and change and play with him/her and daily your confidence will grow. Don't worry too much about making mistakes because as myself and all the moms on here can tell you, your gonna make them! But you learn and it is awesome. I have been a mom now for two years and still can't even figure out how to keep a clean house! Also whatever fears you do have, like safety etc, ask the moms on this board or so some research and then go with your gut. Finally what I did that helped me so much was just pray for myself and my baby daily, hourly, minute by minute.. whatever it took! I still pray for my little man every night when I put him down, I pray for him when he climbs into those playlands at fast food joints, I pray for him when he falls and bumps his head. God has been the one to see me through all the fears and worries that came with becoming a mom, so that is my number one recommendation:) This is a wonderful and exciting and yes even a little scary journey that you are beginning but as a fellow mom I can tell you that nothing in my life has been better:) I am sending you a great big hug and a high five because you CAN do this girl!

N.,

Congratulations!

When I was pregnant with my first, breastfeeding was the ONE THING that I was most anxious about. I had a wonderful lactation consultant that explained to me, 1) babies will tell you when they're hungry (they tend to root, go for their hand or fuss, and if you don't get the message, they'll get louder), and 2) as long as she was producing wet diapers, then all was well. (Poop was not a big concern - some babies only poop every few days.)

The hospital where I had mine had a breastfeeding support group. . . basically a bunch of new moms sitting down with the lactation consultant, and just chatting, or having a Q&A. It was very informal and VERY reassuring.
Definitely worth checking in to.

Best wishes!
M.

Hi N.,
Don't be afraid. As long as your baby is gaining weight, sleeping and happy you are doing good. It takes some time for your milk to really get to the right point- Just feed as baby gets hungry- as often as necessary and things will level out. Anziety and fears willl only transfer to baby and that would not be good. Eat what you dr. says you should eat so your baby will get what it needs.
good luck and blessings

I just wanted to say that you have the right to be scared however you have this wonderful website and we will support you! Sounds like you are doing a great job so far. Keep it up you can do it!!! Sleep for you is most precious right now...let the house and chores go a bit until your baby is on a routine and sleep whenever the baby is sleeping...this will help you and baby bond and help you feel more confident. Even take naps with the hubby..you know men like there sleep! It is amazing how are bodies know how much milk to make for the baby...just remember that your breastmilk really is the best food made specific for your baby.

Call la Leche league if you need anything...

You are giving your baby a great start by breastfeeding! I am so proud of you. It seems so basic, but it can be hard to find support and answers about breastfeeding. The good news is that it gets better. The bad news is that there is always going to be something new to worry about. You're the mom and over time you will get in sync with your baby.

The previous poster mentioned the same website that I found invaluable. It has a lot of great information.

Weigh your baby every single day if it makes you feel better. You can get a ballpark idea of what he/she is eating by weighing before and after feedings. You can get the type of scale used for weighing fish at the sporting goods store--use a sling or knotted blanket to hang from the hook (do it over a bed and just raise it so it isn't touching). It won't take long before you can see that your baby is getting enough.

Also, sleep when your baby is sleeping. Use a sling or wrap carrier to get things done while your baby is awake and still have both your hands. If you are eating right and getting all the sleep you can, you are going to feel less vulnerable and questioning. You primary responsibility right now is your health and that of your baby.

It gets better. You'll be fine.

I would call the La Leche League. They are an organization that supports breastfeeding and can help you answer any questions and concerns you may have. I am reading a book called Breastfeeding Naturally and it speaks about the various fears mom's have when they are breastfeeding and how the La Leche League can help. Good luck. I have included the website so you can find a local support group. http://www.llli.org/Webindex.html
Krystie S

First of all take a deep breath and relax. I am breast feeding as well with a 2 1/2 mth old. This is my second so it's almost like clockwork. Your body will produce the right amount of food for your baby. As long as your baby seems to be gaining weight and seems satified then your doing fine. As your baby grows and starts to eat more you will produce more. Right now your baby probably eats pretty often because you haven't really had time to get on a schedule. Even without me trying my son now eats about every 3 hours. I can pretty much plan on what time he will want to eat again and plan that into my schedule of things to do for the day. I wouldn't worry unless your doctor tells you otherwise. If you need to be away from your baby for an extended period feed him/her right before you leave and put your baby down to sleep. Leave a formula just in case she/he wakes up and needs to be fed before you get back. I have only had to do this a couple of times and my mom or husband will call me to find out how much longer I'll be. If not too long then they will try to keep him happy until I get there or feed him a little bottle in the mean time. If you are breastfeeding your baby most likely won't eat a bottle very fast but it keeps them content until you get there. If they do take a whole bottle then pump and store in the freezer for a later time. Do you have questions on whether they are latching on properly? She/he should have a good amount of breast in their mouth. Infact I think it's around 2 inches with lips flipped outward and open widely.
MOST IMPORTANT: RELAX...If you are stressed then your baby will stress which could cause your baby to spit up or collic. You are doing great. In fact I'm now being paged for another meal time. Have a great day.

Yay for a new baby! If your babe is content after feeding, is producing wet diapers and growing you're doing your job.

It is SO scary. If you have concerns, don't hesitate to call the nurse helpline.

Been there,know what you mean. When you feed your child, pump the other side and put into a bottle to freeze. Do this several times. It will give you back up meals. Also the more you drink of water and juice's the more milk. Good luck.
Oh this is normal, they do not break,they love,they cry and so do you for them. You have a wonderful gift a child.

If your baby isnt getting enough nutrience from your breast milk you can always use formula. There are also breast milk banks and I would recomend getting a can of formula just incase. Remembering God is in controll always helps me to get my anxieity in check. Brest milk is best but if it dosent work out your baby isnt going to starve there are other ways of feeding your newborn. Congradulations and try to relax. Your doing the right thing by eating healthy, drinking plenty of water. You can also call the local le leche leauge and they can calm your nerves. God bless.

Congratulations! Now please think about how your body nourished that beautiful baby for 9 months, and it can continue to do so for many months to come. You're doing the best possible thing for your baby by nursing. Right now your hormones are taking over, causing your anxieties. Just keep breathing in and out, monitoring the baby's weight, and feeding your child as nature intended. Get in touch with La Leche League if your concerns continue.

I did not that that fear with my 1st child but did with my 2nd. The good news is, sounds like most of your fear is hormones. If your baby is growing and not losing weight, you are doing great! Hang in there! I am sure you are doing a great job.

They say they eat until their full, which is true. Weather it be 5 minutes, or an hour??? And as long as your babies weight is fine, don't worry. Their belly's are VERY tiny for awhile, so that's why it will feel like they snack more than have full meals, until their older. Than be ready for 20-30 minutes on each side!!! Rest & water will help you keep up your milk supply as well. And pump and save it when you get the chance! Good Luck, Jules :)

First of all, there is nothing wrong with having to supplement a little formula if he was fussing after you were finished nursing.

second of all, the more you stress the worse it will be for the production of your milk.

So enjoy the time with your baby, if you nurse 4 months or 8 months, learn to enjoy this time it is more fun. Surely you have a close friend or mother that would love to speak with you often if not daily.

It is normal for babies to lose some weight within the first few weeks of birth. I breastfed & worried with my youngest child if he was getting enough, and the pedi's office had me keep a log of how many diapers I changed. I can't remember what the numbers were that they looked for. You can check with your pedi's office and they will let you know how many times you should expect the baby to wet or poop during an 8 hour period.

Don't stress about it too much. God does amazing things including giving us what we need when we need it. God bless you!

Hi N.,

Fear Not!!!! And great job for getting your baby back to birth weight!! I breastfed my daughter for a year, and believe it or not, you give him/her exactly how much she/he needs. I have a new baby myself, and we've had to supplement with formula because he wasn't gaining what he should. As long as your baby is gaining the right weight, just give yourself a pat on the back and know that it's going well. It's amazing, isin't it? That your baby can survive solely on your boob milk? Be happy and confident - you've got six months to go, then you can start baby food. Relish these breastfeeding moments, because when you're done, you'll miss them, trust me ;0)

Your baby will let you know when he/she is hungry. If he is breastfeeding and frustrated (and he's not teething or sick) then you can suspect that he's not getting any milk. But, if there are drops of milk in his mouth, he is sucking well for about 10 minutes at least and isn't hungry a 1/2 hour later, then you can rest assured that he is getting plenty. The average breastfed baby will be hungry every 3 hours, but all baby's are different. Some will be every 2 hours or so. But, if your baby never seems to be satisfied after eating, then you can worry. But, if he eats and is satisfied and even sleeps afterward, then know that God's plan is working well. At about 4 weeks, he will have a growth spurt and want to nurse more often. Nurse him on demand for a few days and your milk supply will catch up and can get back on schedule. The more he feeds, the more milk you will produce.

It is absolutely normal for a newborn to lose weight a week or 2 after birth! my 1st daughter was 8lbs 12oz at birth and at her 1 wk checkup was 8'1"! They told me it's perfectly normal and not to worry as long as she is still eating regularly.
As for being the sole source of food...kudos to you for breastfeeding! Let it be a motivator to eat well-balanced meals, healthy snacks, and drink plenty of water! Breastfeeding moms should drink 8-12 glasses of water per day and need 500 extra calories per day. I found it easiest to have a mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack to balance out the day and keep my energy up. If you are still worried about not providing enough nutrients, ask your dr. for a recommendation of a multi-vitamin that would be good for a nursing mother.

Sounds like both you and your baby are doing great! Congratulations! Time and experience will give you confidence and it sounds like you are already on the right track.
Since hubby is returning back to work, maybe it's time to find some support groups in your area. La Leche League usually has meetings all over town on different days and times. Maybe there are some Postpartum groups in your area where you can meet other new mom's who are experiencing similar feelings.
In Austin, there are a few awesome nursing and natural baby care stores that are not only fun to visit, but have information on local groups for new mom's such as yourself.

Keep your chin up, things always seem to work out. Best wishes.

I second the suggestion of checking out a local la leche league meeting. There you will be able to get info and support. Good luck!

No matter how prepared you are for the birth of your first child, you will ALWAYS be scared to death about being responsible for this little life. That said, take a deep breath and know this: Women have breastfed babies for all of history, and the human race has not died out yet. Your body was created for this purpose--to create life and to nourish it. You are doing what you are supposed to do.

Your pediatrician will keep a watch on your baby's weight and suggest a supplement if she starts to lose weight. Don't worry so much. Enjoy these precious moments now. Before you know, you little one will be grown up and out the door. Honestly, I just turned around one day, and my kids were 27 and 31!