LOOOONNGGG Story short, my hubs has been w/ his company nearly 13 years. Has worked literally from the bottom up the ranks. He put himself through college, and busted his butt to get where he is. He is extremely smart, a fast learner and always eager to advace in his company. I feel like this company has held him back a bit because he has been there so long they tend to "under bid" his salary for new positions because they know he's probably not going anywhere.
He got laid off a few years ago as part of a huge cutback, They chose strictly on seniority, not performance or education etc. They called him back 6 months later and he has been promoted twice. BUT he has researched and in comparison to most people in his postion he's about 10-15k under paid. But the market is tough, so we are thankful for his job.....
Now fast forward to present day, he recently heard of a job opening within his company, that would be a big jump for him. It would be GREAT on his resume, he would be a manager, salary would be better, alot more responsibility etc. BUT we'd have to move 3-4 hrs away. The twist is that another guy in the same position is interviewing his 3rd and final time for another company, and his position is here. But there's no garuntee he'll get it, and in the mean time the boss has already expressed great interest in my husband taking this job. And the company has no idea that this other guy is possibly leaving. My husband kind of wants to wait to see if the local job opens, but we are afraid of a big opportunity passing us by.
To me, as scared as I am I think it's kind of crazy to let this chance pass by. Job openings like this don't come up oftern. And while we are very comfortable with his salary I feel like he didn't bust his hump, and deal with all this junk to NOT jump at a chance to further his career and show this company what he's got.....
But with two small kids and a teen in high school going into his senior year, who would NEVER agree to move with us. We're scared! What to do??? I need words of wisdom from relocated moms (and dads) We need to decide pretty quick :( HELP
Let me add, I am stressed because I feel like he's looking at me to decide in a way, and I'm freaked. In a way, I've ALWAYS wanted to move, but would moving away bite us in the butt??? I'm not very close to my family, we get along but 98% of the time or more, I always have my kids, have no help from his family either, so thats not a big issue for me. But would it be one when no one's there?????? AAAAAAHHHHH LOL
As for my oldest, we have shared custody of him anyways. I would never force him to e for his senior year. He has went to school here since day one. I think that would be awful to do to him, and basically at his age he can choose anyways. While I'd hate to move that far, he's 6 months from being 18. We could work out long weekends and vacation.
I am guessing he still has to apply for the job, interview, and wait for them to select him before he would have to give a decision. If that is the case, tell him "I support you in whatever you decide but I think you should apply for the job and see what happens. Then we can decide if/when we need to". That lets him know that you are open to the idea and you don't HAVE to decide this minute.
I can totally relate. Recently a job opened up in my husband's company. The job was in Alaska & it would have been a promotion and more money. Supervisors and managers were telling my husbad to apply that he would be perfect. It seemed like my husband was a shoe in for the job. I got myself all worked up trying to decide if moving to Alaska was the right decision for our family, etc. After much talk and 'freaking out' about it, we decided to go for it. Well, they gave the job to a local Alaskan (probably to save themselves the $30,000 it would have cost them to move us there). My point is not to get too worked up about it. Until your husband applies and gets offered the job, you never know what will happen. I say apply for the job that is the most money - I mean it all boils down to money right? That is the only reason anyone works lol. Apply for the best paying job and once he is offered the job then enter 'freak out' mode. And try to think of moving away as an adventure. Whatever happens, good luck!
I would express interest to the company in moving forward with the new job offer, certainly. It's not like they would expect you to move next week, right? So, let's say the other guy gets the job offer and leaves the company, creating a job opening locally. Couldn't your husband say at that point, "Hey, do you think I could have the job here in this office, rather than moving?" Chances are, the company would allow that, and problem solved.
I don't think a high-school aged child is a great reason not to pursue career advancement. I actually went to a boarding school where most of us started as freshmen. Senior year, 3 girls joined our class from other schools. You would think they'd never make friends in a tight-knit group like that, right? Nope! One of them is the godmother of one of my kids, and the other two I've kept in close contact with these past 20 years since graduation. They are and always have been an integral part of our graduating class. It just goes to show you that changing schools during one's senior year isn't the end of the world, and doesn't mean social death. If he would "never" agree to move, what are his other options, just out of curiosity? If you're moving somewhere good, he may surprise you... just a thought!
We are military, so we move often. I would advise that if you move, you go as a family. I've seen families move and leave a child behind so they can finish school and it never really works out...too many problems arise. Best of luck!
I can see all of the perks and I see where your coming from and how it would be great for the family...
My main worry would be about your oldest. That is a hard choice to move when they are a senior. I think for that reason and that reason alone if there was anyway I would could do it so he didn't have to leave his class on his last year I would.
I think for that reason I would hold off and after he graduates then I would consider the move. Hopefully some thing else this beneficial will come along after this point.
But at the same time its so hard to know what to do.. what if this chance doesn't come along again after your oldest graduates and you have missed out on this opportunity? Is that worth the risk?
Ok now that I have you even more confused... those are my ( probably unhelpful) thoughts...
I agree with Rebecca that your teen is the biggest issue. Would it be possible for him to live with family/friends for the final months before he graduates? Would he be willing to do that? I've heard of companies willing to let the employee accept the position knowing they won't move for months later...but if you take that option, be sure to write up the agreement on how he'll continue his work, or commute and when the move will happen.
Otherwise, honestly, it sounds like a good move to me. Working his way up the company is something to be very proud of and definitely looks good on the resume if he continues looking for work even after the move. Maybe a change of scenery would be nice. Prior to kids my hubby and I moved 3 hours from family not knowing a soul. It wasn't so hard then but now that we have kids I miss being away from our immediate families...sometimes ;P
Go for the job! If he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it. If he does, you can work out what to do at that point. If the company wants him to move immediately, he can get a small apartment there and come back home every other week. Or come home once a month and you guys go up there once a month. My dad had to move to TN from VA (about a 10 hour drive) for about 6 months before we could come. That way my mom could stay on her job and health insurance until my sister was born. I went down there for the summer for a couple of weeks and he came back up to VA for a couple of weeks. It wasn't that big of a deal and 3-4 hours is much closer! You do not want to pass up the opportunity and wonder what if.
Not sure what the timelines are for the two possible options, but I would say have him apply for the job. It doesn't hurt anything to try, and he can always say no if he does get selected. If the timing works out, I would use the job offer as leverage with the current company...especially since he knows he's being underpaid. If he really IS valued at his current company, he should be able to negotiate higher pay.
I would say try for the new job. June is but two months away and it is going to take about that long to get all the paperwork done if a job is offered and accepted. You don't really want to hurt your husband's chances of going forward with the company.
Your teen will shortly be out of the house and into college or work. Your little ones will live in a new place and grow up.
I know how hard it is to move a family around during the school years but as a military wife we have. I usually try to get hubby to get orders at the end of the school year so that the kids could start school in the new school on the first day with all the kids. This last time it was about three weeks into the school year but it worked out well.
Also have hubby try for the job in the company in town and when and if he gets offered that job and or the other one, he will have a choice.
Good luck to you all. I will keep my fingers crossed for a great outcome.
The other S.
I have so been there and done that! This past October, my husband was offered a promotion at work that required us to move. We only moved 2 hours away, but still, it's a lot to consider. We also have 2 small children (kindergartner and 2 1/2). I am a teacher so of course this couldn't have happened at the end of the school year when lots of schools are hiring for the next year. That would have been too easy!
With his company, if you don't take a promotion when it's offered, you can pretty much kiss any chance of a promotion goodbye for a long time. But we still had to considered the pros and cons.
He got a raise, but we also now have to pay childcare (my mom kept the kids before). Had to sell our house, find a new one, etc. In the long run, there was no easy answer, but we did decide for him to take it because looking down the road, it will help him in the future.
I teach high school and was VERY fortunate that a teacher was retiring mid-year, and I got her job. We lived seperately for a little while so he could start his new job and I could finish my semester at my old high school.
As a high school teacher, I have seen several times where a senior would stay behind with friends to finish the year. I can completely understand your teen not wanting to move. I don't know if that would be an option for you. We moved from a military town so a lot of them had already moved numerous times, etc.
Hope this helps.
I can't tell you what the right answer is for you, but for me, I would say that he needs to apply for that job (the relocation one).
When my oldest brother was in high school, his best friend's parents were faced with a similar dilemma. They talked it through with the son (also going to be senior) and with my parents, and my bro's best friend came to live with us for his senior of high school and freshman year of college. It worked out okay, and they stayed best friends and went to college together.
