New Babysitter - I Think I Need to Fire Her Already

Wow. I have been watching kids longer than I have had my own and I would NEVER send a child home like that and I would NEVER let that child eat a box of chocolates!!! That punishes me just as much as the parents. Hyper kids get overtired, and the sugar crash is UGLY!!!

Don't take her back. Lie to her if it is easier aka no drama and just say that you feel like it would just be easier to have her someplace with other kids. I am so sorry that happened to you!! UGH!!

I have fired babysitters for less! She would be gone if she was my babysitter. That is completely unacceptable in my book. You are kind of in a tough position since this is a family friend. I hope that you can fire her in a way that will keep the peace.....

Look at it this way....Are you going to need to think of every situation concievably possible and write instructions for them? Ridiculous!

I would call her and say, "Hi Ms. Potts, we decided we'd like to try a preschool environment for our little Victoria. We think she needs the socialization, but I wanted to thank you so much for being willing to watch her for us! Bye!"
Make sure you have a smile on when you talk to her. Then never allow her to watch your child again!

She didn't change the diaper because your daughter didn't want it changed?
What's next?

"Or, I didn't tell her not to put the fork in the light socket because she really WANTED to?"

Okay, I am exaggerating, but...I think you should tell her you got a great offer on day-care near work and be done with her.

(p.s. I almost never recommend fibs to ANYONE, but this lady sounds unbalanced to me)

I'd fire her. Nicely, of course, if I want to remain friends.

"You know hon, I think our parenting styles are just so different that it would be better for us to go ahead and do the daycare. That way I can freak out the way we all do from time to time, ESP as first time parents, and not hurt our friendship."

I've found making depreciating "jokes" about my being a new parent soothed SO many ruffled feathers, AND I got what I wanted... which was that person NOT doing things that made me want to choke them.

Of course, one of the primary missions of my life is having my cake and eating it, too.

I would thank her and tell her that you decided to go with XYZ daycare. That you and your husband prefer your daughter to be in a more structured environment.

Otherwise, I don't think I'd say anything negative. That woman sounds like a LOON!

My thoughts on this come from an absolutely biased position. As a provider of 24 years that has lost a great many parents to the "family friends", it bothers me when I hear how often it just doesn't work out.

Anyone can let the time get away from them and let the diaper get a little soggy. It's actually much easier to do with one child than with 4 or 6 or 10. The more the provider has, the more she has to use clocks or timers to make sure she's changing on schedule. I believe it's ALWAYS best to go with a person that has made childcare their life's work.

The sugar thing is just crazy and I don't even know what to say. But leaving her dirty with chocolate on her face makes me wonder if the woman is on drugs.

Yes, fire her.

Ummmm...this sounds like a no-brainer to me. The wet diaper alone would have me going for her throat.

Put her in daycare. At least there she has structure, diaper changing time, snack time, lunch time, friends to play with, nap time, activities, recess. It sounds like she would just 'hang out' all day with this lady and whatever would be easiest(not the best) would go.

Fire her. Better now than later - it will be more difficult down the road.

She'd be out the door if it was me! Not acceptable. You must have common sense to watch toddlers. Obviously she has none.

You are NOT jumping the gun, quite honestly I would fire her faster than I can type this. Do you still like the daycare you had visited?
In my honest opinion I'd never let someone alone with my kids in my home unless I had cameras installed everywhere. I like daycares or in-home daycares better because they seem more in check than a stranger in my house.
Just tell her politely that you will follow thru with your plans to register your daughter for daycare thank her for her time and let her go.
good luck and let us know how it goes,

Thank her for her offer but on further contemplation you will be sending her to a childcare provider and bye-bye. Yikes, I would be livid! You know what you want to do so do it and ease your mind. Your number one priority is your daughters care, period.

Ditto - Time to say good bye.

I couldn't even finish reading your entire post... after the box of chocolates... oh dear. I don't think this person would still be on the earth if it were my kid. Please, please fire her and put her in daycare.

No second chances. Anyone who says a child "Won't let" them change a diaper is not suitable for working with kids. Your lifetime will not be long enough to explain reasonable child care to her. Period.

I am a caregiver! Your the mom, your the boss, But most important ,thats your baby! I don't think that would be a question!

even if you gave her a do/don't list, you can't possibly think of every little thing that could happen in a given day. and if she doesn't have enough sense to not give your toddler a whole box of chocolates or change a diaper when it's wet, this is NOT the person you want watching your child -- what if there's an emergency?? would you trust her to give the proper care and make quick decisions? definitely not!

I would fire her. It's your child and if you don't like what the person you hired to take care her is doing than you have every right to fire that person. It's not like she did something that could be a common mistake, this is common sense.

She's a goner in my book.

Omg'sh, all I can say is no, no, no. Don't put here in that type of care anymore. Any person who has their own kids, know to check the diaper to see if it's wet and to change the diaper. Simple as that. Also giving an entire box of candy or chocolates? Is she trying to get your kid sick? Common sense is very obviously lacking in this person. You really shouldn't have to spell things out for someone that should contain common sense.
I spell things out for our (alternate) teen babysitter who has watched three kids at a time and she would never, ever allow that to happen because you just don't.

Since it's a family friend, find an amicable means to advise that you found permanant daycare and compensate her for the day.

NOPE, maybe I am quick to act, but with your kids and doubt and DONE! I had to go through a few sitters and one was my neighbor until I found one that I felt good about and trusted. Now no matter what you will always wonder what is going on at home with your daughter and this woman, if she is clean, happy, fed, sick. There is nothing better than peace of mind when your at work!

Don't waste another minute thinking about it... let her go!!!!

Dump her plain and simple! She has no business watching anyones LO.

Even I wouldn't give a 2 yr old chocolates (much less a whole box) and NOT change a diaper cause the kid 'didn't want to be changed'! And I've become a VERY relaxed mom in my old age.

Still, I'd hestitate after only ONE day to end the relationship. So I see the point in your question.

But REALLY, my KIDS would no better than your babysitter would!!

:)

No second chance. Next time, she may think it is okay for your daughter to play in water by herself.

okay so she is a family friend, not an easy fix. Before firing her sit her down the next time she comes and explain to her your do's and dont's. Tell her you were a little concerned when you got home. Give her another day if it is as bad as the first day then fire her

Let her go.

The thing that I like about daycare is that there are more than one pair of eyes watching my kid. Daycare gets a bad rep - but it's a wonderful thing. I never thought I would ever choose daycare but when my daughter was almost two, I went back to work. She is 2.5 - she will love daycare.

i dont think that women is a good fit. i would find someone else.

I would kindly say to them thank you but I have found other arrangements. Generously compensate them for the some of the time you will not be using them if you have a contract in place or even if you don't two weeks compensation would be nice even if they are going to watch your kid. Why you may ask because perhaps they were counting on this money and wouldn't you want to be treated this way?

However my kid would step another foot into this arrangement. Perhaps she was trying to potty train your kid by letting her feel the saggy sopping wet diaper? Gross I know but this is how some people do it. As for the chocolate, my kid didn't see any candy until he was 3 and his grandparents thought it was cute to give him chocolates against my will. My son is now 16 and his grandparents still do things with him that make me mad but they have never hurt or harmed him intentionally.

Make new sitting arrangements ASAP.

Mom of One,

I think you know what you need to do. FIRE HER!!!!

If you're looking for one on one, in home care for your daughter and have an extra room in your house I would encourage you to check with an au pair service or perhaps the local community college or university.

This is an option I choose when my daughters were younger. The first couple years we had an au pair that lived in. She was wonderful and my girls loved her, as did I, and they were able to be in an environment they were comfortable in. The cost of the au pair will depend on number of hours needed, whether she's a live in, etc. Unfortunately she left us after 2.5 years to get married & start her own family.

I went to the local University's school of Education and found a student majoring in early childhood education. After lots of interviews I narrowed it down to four young women and ask that they come over and sit with the kids for a few hours at different times of day so I could see how they interacted with the girls. I found a wonderful young woman. We offered her a live-in position at $125 wk. & paid her car insurance. Our family took to her and she to us right away. She accompanied us on family vacations, attended school functions with us. She was a big sister to my girls. She stayed with us for 5 yrs ('til she got her Masters) and although she's moved on she IS still part of the family and has met us on several family vacations & sports tournaments the girls have participated in.

Good Luck!!

GMGB!!

FIRE HER ! She doesn't deserve to watch your child. How dare her! I can't believe she didn't change your daughter's diaper???? Everyone knows that you need to do this often with a little one----so sorry for your daughter to go through this and have a huge sugar high from the chocolates! I would call her up and tell her that what she did was lazy, unacceptable and completely irresponsible. Then say, you won't be needing her any longer. SHE IS FIRED. Good luck, sorry you had to go through this.

M

Seriously?!?!!! I would be enraged if anyone gave my son chocolates/candy when I did not know/approve at that age!! My son's daycare calls me when there is a birthday party to make sure it is okay for him to have an extra cookie or cupcake....I can't imagine someone thinking it was fine to give him a BOX of chocolates - no matter how small!!! I know they make 4-piece boxes, but I am sure that's not the size of box to which you were referring, and even still....I would be so ticked off!!! It wouldn't be pretty!! You are right to fire her IMMEDIATELY!

I see you've already made your decision, but I just had to say ...

"but I figure that if I have to TELL someone to change my daughter's diaper when its wet, well that is just not the right person to watch her."

That sums it up right there!

Oh yay, happy to hear your firing her. Who thinks 'oh I won't change you since you asked me not to'? That's just silly. Not only is it ridiculous to eat a box of choc for a 2.5 yr old, she could get diabetes or something. She sounds neglectful. Next thing ya know, she'll be like 'oh sorry she's soaking wet and has the flu she told me she wanted to swim in the tub with her clothes on and you didn't bring extra clothes. Oh her skin's a bit bluish you say? I was watching tv and she was under the water for a few seconds, but you can see she is alive geez'.... I mean scarrrryyyy

Good for you for firing her.

You're not over reacting. Fire her butt. Seriously ... as you said, if you need to TELL someone to change a wet/dirty diaper all day ... they aren't the right care giver for your child. And the chocolates... seriously... no words for that ridiculousness.

I think you are correct, fire her ASAP.

Fire her. She might be a great caretaker, and just had one bad day. However, at this point, you do not feel confident in her caregiving and it will drive you crazy all the time. It's not worth the sanity to give it another try. When it comes to your kids, the most important thing is for you to feel that they are well taken care of and safe. Go with your gut! Do what would make you feel would be the safest and best care for your child.

The lazy butt probably ate most of the candy herself and blamed it on your child!