New Baby on the Way.

I just posted almost the exact same question. I have a daughter who is 2 and I am expecting and worried about how she will feel and that I won't give her as much attention. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who is worried about this. I hope some people have some good advice.

That is exactly what happened to me almost 10 years ago!

My oldest boy just turned 4 when I met my husband. I was also very close with my son and I said the samethings you said, I even said that I was never getting married again!

We met in Sept. and in Dec., I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.
We got married in March and had our daughter in Aug.

Through the entire event of our being together, the wedding and the preparations through the birth of his sister, we involved him in as much of the planning and prep that we could.

Before the wedding, we would go out and do "family" stuff together and my husband paid alot of attention to him too.

He was a huge part in the wedding, he stood up as a "mini" best man with the actual best man.

When we were getting ready for his sister, we bought a special doll and we treated that doll as a real baby. He learned how to change diapers (as well as a 4 year old could ;) ) and when we would go out, we had the carseat in the car and put the "baby in it and had a doll sized stroller so he could push the "baby" around in the store. We didn't do this every day, but we did it more ofter when it was getting closer to her due date.

It really did work for us, he loves his step-dad and he accepted his sister right away and was a big momma's helper when taking care of his new baby sister.

My husband and I will be having out 10 year wedding anniversary in March this year. We met and was married within 6 months.

We now have 3 children total. We had a boy 7 years ago.
There ages are 14, 9 and 7 and all is going well.

Good luck in whatever you work out with your son, go with your instincts and I'm sure he will do fine and really do well with having a "new" daddy, mine did :)

Congratulations on the new baby and up coming wedding.

I WOULD JUST REASSURE HIM YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM AND LOVE HIM! MAKE HAVING A LIL' SIS/BRO SOUND LIKE SOO MUCH FUN. ROLE PLAY WITH HIM WITH A DOLL AND SEE HOW HE ACTS WITH THE DOLL. I WOULD JUST TRY TO MAKE IT VERY POSITIVE AND HOPEFULLY HE WILL SEE YOU EXCITED AND HAPPY AND BE HAPPY TOO! GOOD LUCK! I AM SURE EVERYTHING WILL BE GREAT!

dear B.
it will all be ok just let your son know he is going to be a big brother maybe byuy him a sweatshirt that says i am a big brother and let him go to your doctor app with you make him the biggest part of it and i would let him know no matter what you will always love him because if it wasn't for him you would never gotton to be a mommy good luck hope he takes it all right

You need to say that we would all like to become a family. Is he welcomed with the boyfriend? If so go to the book store ( I always get books to help) and there is a great Mercer Meyer book We are going to have a baby. get it with what ever book he finds. and this will help him understand at his level.Don't ever under estemate kids they will surprise you every time. Gods Blessings to you and your New Family. Jennie

Hi B.,
I'm in your same boat. I am a single mom of a 5 year old little girl. My boyfriend and I are expecting in May. My daughter was my best friend for 3 years, it was just me and her. I think we will always have a special connection. I have involved her every step of the way, even our ultrasound (which really freaked her out). But now shes more excited than anyone, she kisses my belly everyday. As we decorate the nursery, she gets to help pick out things and also has gotten a few new things for her room too. Keep stressing to your son how wonderful it is to have a growing family. I was told to never use the new baby as an excuse. For instance, I can't pick my daughter up anymore, so I redirect her or have my boyfriend cary her, I would never say I couldn't because the baby. I get my daughter dressed in the morning even though she can do it by herself. So we are working on changing that now, before the baby comes so she doesn't think the new baby is taken me away from her. I hope this makes sense and has been some help fo you.
Good luck to you and your family.
~J.

Hi B.,
It sounds - just from the way you wrote - that you might be stressed about the actual relationship with your boyfriend. We tend to care more about what family members think when we know they might be right. (i do that with my mom....i get on the defense because i know she'll be ticked if i tell her...)

So, what if you don't rush into marriage as a "fix-it"

What if you treat your 4-yr-old like your beloved little son, and tell him the basics of the situation. How he will be loved no matter what, how God brought him a sibbling, and how he and you and baby and boyfriend will have good times, and talking, and listening......

you know, just tell him. Not too much, just what he needs to hear to be confident and secure. Change is good for kids, but only when its accompanied by security and love. Even if there are rough patches with the boyfriend, try not to let the kids see it, and keep adult stuff to the adults so the kids can handle the changes without extra stresses.

Good luck
J.

Your son will not be mad. I also was a single mom to a three year old boy when I met my BF. And I got pregnant. My son and I were, and still are very close. He was not mad at me, nor did he feel unwanted, when I had the baby(he turned four three weeks after she was born). He loves his new baby sister, loves me, and even loves my BF. He is just a child, he would never think the things you are worried about. And don't refer to the new child as his "half brother" or "half sister" to him. When he gets older he will understand all of that, but right now, just new brother or new sister is fine. I promise you, he will not resent you someday. Just make sure you keep him involved, and let him know what a special, important job being a big brother is. I told my son about the baby right away, and he was involved right from the start. (not too involved, he wasn't at the delivery, but he came to the hospital right after to see her). My son surprised me, he loves and dotes on his baby sister. He is amazing. Have faith in your boy, I'm sure he'll be great! Good luck!!

I would suggest asking your son to be your helper. Tell him he's going to be a big brother and you are going to need him to help you out because you can't do it alone. Keep him involved. Kids are resiliant, he'll adjust.

It will be fine. Let your son know how happy you are, and he will understand. My son and I are that close, except he's 15 now. Although I never had another child, I did get married, and have had several boyfriends. He may not be happy about it at first, but he will accept it. Have your boyfriend spend some time playing with your son, too. That will make it easier. Congratulations!

Hi B.,

Let him know he will always be so special to you because he was your very first baby. The one that made you a mom. Tell him that this baby will give him someone to play with as he grows up so that when he gets older he will have someone to play, fight and confide with.

That is what I told my three year old. I made her a part of the process all the way through my pregnacy and would tell her stories of when she was inside me and when she was a baby and how special she will always be to me.

He will take the clues on how to react from you.

Good luck. Congratulations!
R.

Relax and enjoy sweetie. Explain to your son that although things are changing he will always be special, and alway be loved, and try to keep him involved in the little things with the pregnancy and the possible upcoming marriage (congrats by the way) and he will soon grow to love his baby brother/sister as much as you do. The initial shock is scary sometimes but kids are resiliant, and they take to change pretty quick-so don't worry so much and enjoy those babies!:)