Neverending Laundry

The less clothing they each have, the less pile up of laundry and messy drawers. ( when everyone has 21 pairs of underwear, whites can pile up for weeks AND every underwear drawer must hold 21 pairs of underwear resulting in a jumbled mess.
Less clothing, at least O. load per day per FlyLady..."reboot washer/dryer every night and morning. (2 loads per day)
My 10 year old is capable of throwing a load in. Folding? Eh...so so.

9, 8, and 5 is old enough to help. I'd enlist a child to sort, a child to match socks and a child to fold towels. I'd also give each one his or her own laundry basket and as a family sit down (maybe put on on a movie) and fold clothes, which the kids can then put away. My SD was folding her own clothes by around 6 or 7 yrs old and my DD at 4 can put things away if I fold for her.

We have a laundry problem too. I also have 4 kids, ages 9, 6, 3 and 6 months, so I totally get where you are coming from. My biggest problem is having too many things for each kid. I am trying really hard to get rid of/buy less clothes. My 6 year old now has only 5 pair of pants that fit him, and I was on the verge of buying more,but then I realized--why? 5 pairs is enough. His pants drawer isn't over flowing, and he has enough to get through the school week, even if I don't get his laundry done.

Maybe try paring down a little. I know babies need a lot of extra clothes due to spitting up, poo blowouts, etc., but older kids need less.

You have to learn to let go of some control.

Your older kids can do their own laundry, from start to finish, including putting it all away. No, it won't be done perfectly, and yes, you'll have to check on it and make them redo a lot....but how else do you expect them to learn how to do it?

Show them how to separate darks and lights. If you're one who likes bleach in every load of whites, I recommend that you be responsible for whites until they're a little older.

Show them how to correctly load, set, and start the washer. Turn the timer on so they know when the load is ready to switch over.

Show them how to move the load to the dryer (with a basket so things don't end up on the floor). Set and start. How many dryer sheets, etc.

Show them how to fold. Make them help you when you do it. Give them piles of folded things that go in their drawers.

Real life dictates that if you don't wash laundry, you won't have clean clothes to wear. If you don't hang or fold your clothes, they'll be wrinkled. So what happens? A couple of times, the kids wear a dirty shirt. Or a wrinkled pair of pants. And you carefully explain that if they want clean, non-wrinkled clothes, they are responsible for ensuring that their laundry gets done.

You're going to have to show them EVERYTHING. From laundry, to dishes, to vacuuming, to dusting, to cleaning the bathroom, and so on. Yes, it's hard. But they have to learn. My boys are 10 and 12. They clean their rooms, including vacuuming and dusting, wash, dry, fold/hang, and put away their own laundry, clean their bathroom, clean the kitchen, mop, vacuum, dust, mow the lawn, feed, water and clean up after the dog, set and clear the table, do the dinner dishes, load and unload the dishwasher....and probably a few other things I'm not thinking of.

Do they do it exactly the way I would do it? Nope. But the job is done, and even though it's not perfect, we have time as a family to do other things.

Let go of your need to ensure that every job is done just right. There isn't one adult out there that says "Oh, my childhood was awesome because my mom was obsessed with the cleanliness of the house and wouldn't let us clean or take care of our own chores!"

Don't end up with adult children who can't take care of themselves!

Don't look in the drawers...as long as the clothes are "folded"...(I lay then all flat)...and in a drawer where they can be found...pick your battle and let this one go!!!

I only have 4 people and my washer and dryer are always going...it is never ending...I tease my husband that I am going to force us to become nudists...LOL!!!

Well, how old is your husband? It's kind of a joke but my husband does the laundry. We both work full time. I work from home and he works outside of the home. Even when I was on maternity leave, he did the laundry. I also have a family of 6 (17 y/o boy, 5 y/o girl, 3 y/o boy, 15mo boy). Occasionally I will throw a load in or fold clothes but he does it 99% of the time. I can't do everything. He gets up early and runs everyday and does a load then. It works for us.

I have to agree with the decluttering. My kids are the exact same ages (except no baby) and they are in charge of putting all their clean clothes away although I have been doing the 5 year old's "hang up clothes" as she is too short to reach the hanger bar. I will say that they do not always do a great job of putting things away (as in, they shove into a drawer rather than nicely organize them) however I realized a lot of it is that there are too many clothes to fit them easily, so this last weekend I sorted through the drawers, no reason for a kid to have 30 pairs of underwear and 15 pairs of jammies.
One thing my husband suggested and it really helps is having 1 laundry day per person. I used to wash everything that was dirty each day and what it led to was never ending laundry, lots of sorting to do, and the kids also wore a lot more clothes per day which drives me nuts. Now, in the morning I will say "Liam, run and throw your laundry in" and then he can put it away when he gets home. We also are just washing towels once a week and if they left them sopping wet on the ground, well that is their problem this week.
Also helps a lot to have a WRITTEN DOWN job list. We keep ours on the fridge and they have to do jobs in morning before going to play (they have plenty of free time between waking up and the bus arriving). I also write a list for them to do right when they get home- usually 3 jobs each, often includes putting away washrags and other laundry.
My system isn't perfect- the mess still builds up, but it seems much more tolerable with this system.

all 3 of the older children should be doing chores throughout the entire home + redoing them immediately if not done correctly.

BUT in order for this to work well, you're going to have to relax on your expectations! Who cares if the clothes are a little rumpled in the drawer? Who cares if the clothes are on the hangers a little crooked? The important aspect here is teaching the kids autonomy...& with that comes pride in ownership. It's a hand-in-hand concept....

I have 9 years between my sons. Pretty much it was like raising to separate families. :) Sooo, what I did was: with each chore, it was accomplished side-by-side. I assisted in his room. He assisted in my room. I cleaned the toilet. He cleaned the basin. I washed dishes. He dried. & on & on.

When starting on this new regime, please take the time to properly demonstrate (again & again) what you expect, how to do it, & the consequences for not cooperating! Teamwork!

We started between 10 & 12 years old having them do their own laundry. They finally started doing their own clothes when my wife noticed she had seven days of laundry after only 3 days of time. They were carrying their folded clothes upstairs and dumping them on the floor instead of putting them in their drawers. When they were dumped on the floor they got mixed in with the dirty clothes and had to be washed again.

I had the kids that had messy drawers or clean clothes that didn't get put away do the dishes by hand (not allowed to use the dishwasher.). With 10 mouths to feed, they really didn't want to do the dishes.

Good luck to you and yours.

My kids have been doing it since they were 4. Right now we just have one hamper that we keep in our master. It's enough for one lload of laundry. They all know to get the clothes to the washer and start it.

We are going to get them all their own hampers and let them do their own minus folding shortly. They are now 6, 8, and 9. My younger two are boys, but they do everything my daughter does.

I honestly don't care what my kids drawers look like. It's their responsibility to find things in their, so if they are messy, that's their problem.

Take the time to TEACH the kids how to do the chores you want them to do. They will get it and you will be so much happier! I rarely do laundry or dishes anymore.

The first trick is to teach them to care about how their clothes appear coming out of the drawers. I fold the clothes and hand them to my 12y so that he can put HIS clothes away. The first few times I went in to put something additional away, I was MAD. He had taken all of the clothes that I spent time folding and just dumped/wadded them in to the drawers. What was the point of me folding this stuff? Literally 5 mins later, he wadded it into his drawers.
Now, he has gotten better, but there are still times when you go in and can tell that he has dug through for something.

The second trick is to stop expecting perfection from a kid. As long as the job is done, does it matter if it wasn't done EXACTLY as you would've done it? Or does it matter that it was done. Does it matter if the clothes are sorted by color and taken to the washroom where they were dumped on the floor? or do they HAVE to be placed in a basket first and then placed in the washroom. (matters to my hubby!)

The third trick. Declutter. Go through their drawers and get rid of, hand down, etc. any clothes that they have outgrown, don't wear, etc.

The fourth trick is to not buy soo many clothes. Hard I know! Less clothes take up less room. Each kid should have 8 - 10 outfits to get through the week.

You have a baby, and it has been a few years! With each of my babies my laundry has gone nuts. Are you breast feeding? That right there is a BIG drain on your energy and you need to give yourself a huge pass on house work. You are obviously not a slob, soon your baby will be running all over the house playing and you will be able to catch up. I would not even stress myself out with what new chores the children should be learning, a young baby in the house is like taking your little row of ducks and scattering them wildly! My advice is this, give everyone a basket, line the baskets up by the dryer when you are ready to unload, as you unload throw everyone's stuff into there basket, also I highly recommend a basket or in our cas a box for socks, I just throw socks right into the sock box. Now laundry us sorted, voila! If it gets put up, awesome, if not everyone knows where their basket is! My last little guy is now 17 months and I JUST caught the laundry up last month and it wasn't that hard! But when you have to be the total life support for another tiny human, life is a challenge! Cut yourself some slack, make it through and know that the house will be clean and orderly again soon :)

I hung up the stuff as it came out of the dryer and they were responsible for hanging them up in their closet. Only underwear and pjs (large T shirts) and socks go in drawers. Nobody sees that stuff and I absolutely do not care how it's put away as long as the drawer closes. I would bet money that you believe you were better at this at this age than you really were!

You are in a war lady! There is no room for unrealistic expectations.
They can do a lot but they can't meet your standards. They will get better.
By teenage yrs, they do their own laundry.

Folding of towels and washcloths and kitchen stuff is their job. 1 towel every 4 days.

You have to teach the older two how to help. You are preparing them for taking care of their own stuff once they leave the nest. It isn't going to be neat in the beginning but it will get there.

As long as the clothes are in the appropriate rooms in the drawers wrinkled or not it is done. They will be the ones who will have to learn how not to wrinkle their clothes or learn how to iron them to get the wrinkles out. They do it this way because YOU will redo it. Stop let them learn the consequences.

I once did 14 loads of laundry in one day and my son (9) went out in his clean play clothes and come home full of mud. Hubby told son he was going to have to wash his clothes because I had done all the others. We went down to the basement (laundry room had 7 washers and 6 dryers) and showed him how to do it. I never did his laundry again and he was on the football team later.

My daughter began to do hers about the same age.

So it is never too young to start them. This includes learning how to cook food as well. They can help you set the table and do small things in the kitchen so that they learn how to cook. Also there is bathroom detail, garbage detail, bed making detail, window washing detail, dishwasher detail, and running the vacuum and dusting that they can do. It won't be perfect in the beginning but it will get better with time. Think of it as a team effort to keep the house up. Everyone on the team has a part to play. Put a list of duties on the frig that everyone has to follow to make it work. You would be surprised on how much is cut down and do remove what is not wearable.

Good luck to you.

the other S.

You've gotten a lot of good suggestions-

in addition to the teach, delegate, schdule and declutter ideas, I suggest you consider evaluating what you consider dirty.

Towels get washed once a week. Linens once every two weeks, sweaters and jeans can be put away and worn again. Only underclothes, socks and t-shirts (stuff worn against the skin), gym clothes or things which are dirty/ stained get washed after one wear.

We're a fam of three, my hubs, myself and our DS 2.5 (y.o.) We've got the advantage/ disadvantage of living in a coop with a communal pay per load laundry room. On the up side, you can do 4 loads simultaneously, and the cycles are fast. On the down side, it costs some money, and you've got to be around for a 2 hour block to wash, dry and fold. Hubs does the laundry once a week. We fold after DS is asleep and have everything put away ASAP.

My kids are 6 and 10.
They help.
They put away their laundered clothes in their drawers.
I don't care how they put it in their drawers. I know, they will not do it like me. Fine. It is in, their, drawers. They know what is in there.
Fine.

The thing is, once kids start to help... you cannot expect them to do it JUST like you. But for me, as long as my kids try their best, fine.
And I give them tips on household chores. Fine. They can do it JUST like me, or not. But they do it, so that is good.

Your older kids, and the 5 year old, can help you. AND they can do more than just laundry. Or instead of laundry, they can do other things.
They should start doing things in the house already.
Even when my daughter was 8, she could cook.
At 4 years old, my son could cook his own eggs, from start to finish. With my supervision.
You teach them. They learn.
And have a routine... for the kids. Telling them on what days or when during the day, they should be doing these things.
Kids are not automatically endowed, with organization & cleaning skills. It is taught, not inherent.

Your older kids, can, fold the laundry.
And put them away.

And, what is your HUSBAND doing... in the house?
He can help too.
It doesn't matter if he works and you don't.
He is a part of the house.
He, can put away laundry too.
My Husband does.

How old? My son starting putting his laundry away at 3. I folded it and put his laundry basket in his room. He put the laundry away. If it didn't stay perfectly folded, that was (and still is) OK. Now at almost 5, he folds and puts away his laundry. I don't spot check his drawers! If he can't find his favorite shirt, he needs to keep looking!

Yes, please teach them how to fold and put away laundry. Heck, they should be sorting it too (even the three year old)! At 9, I was tossing a load in the washer if my mom asked, so your oldest should be learning to do the same. By middle school, if we needed something clean for the next day, we tossed in a load of laundry ourselves.

It's not really a hard chore to do, so go for it!

At that age I still folded their clothes but they had to put them away.
I'm pretty anal about housework and organization (so I know where you're coming from!) but once they started putting their own clothes away I didn't care HOW they did it, as long the drawers closed and I didn't have to look at the mess.
I gave up on separating/monitoring sock and underwear and PJ/op/bottom drawers years ago (except for my own of course.) Out of three kids only one is naturally organized like me, the other two stuff their drawers based on whichever one has the most space available. My husband is the same way and it drives me CRAZY, I am so glad his dresser fits in his closet so I don't have to look at it!
It also helps to not have too many clothes, and to only wash what's absolutely necessary. Like some people wash their PJs and towels after only one use which I personally think is silly.

Mine are kind of the same - I find it easier to do it myself, and have it done properly - but I get them to help by taking their piles of folded laundry to their rooms, and I ask them to put it away. Often it stays on their dressers but I don't make a huge deal about it. Pick your battles I guess. I also hang their shirts and tops, so they just have to hang those up (which they do). I also get them to bring their laundry to the laundry room (which does make a difference) and strip their beds, etc. They have to help out, but I don't worry if it is perfect, and I don't worry if it's not fully completed. I don't want to make it a total chore for them - but they do fold if it's a load of towels, or something else that is easy to do.

I tend to do laundry when they are at school, so often I end up doing most of it anyways. But start small - get them involved, and just keep it up - and don't worry if it's not perfect.

I feel overloaded by laundry too - I think most moms do. My sister has 4 kids and she is forever doing laundry, and they are teenagers - even though they help out, it's never ending.

What you are experiencing is normal with regards the neverending amount of laundry, sweeping of crumbs and general tidying up all day! You are a champion coping by yourself - congratulations! Just getting the kids to school on time is a challenge, picking them up, and after school activities, let alone caring for a young infant.
I get my oldest boy who has just turned 8 to help pack the clothes/towels up - it doesn't go down well with him but at some point he needs to know how to do these things. The other two boys are 4 and 1. The washing is not as neat as I would fold them of course, but I have to bite my tongue and accept how he does it for now. Another words semi folded and semi scrunched sometimes, then rammed into the drawer. I think that is what you have to do - just let go a little on the way they do it and gradually they will become more adept at it all. I try to encourage and reinforce the best way to fold the clothes till he gets it. He helps me pick up and both my older boys take their dishes to the sink after eating, and help put the cutlery away out of the dishwasher. I think you have to get them to do that, it's part of being in the family - he does complain that he is overworked!
Probably the "four" oldest are up to helping to a degree - tongue and cheek I'm adding in your DH! You are definitely not alone in your dilemma.

I find that I must do a load a day to stay on top of it. In the summer time, I can stretch it a little more since the clothes occupy less space.

We have had my girls try to fold and put away the laundry. They just are not as adept at it and causes me frustration. My balance is for me to fold it and then they put it all away. I stress to them to be careful putting it away so everything is not all balled up in the cupboards. They do okay. Not great, but hopefully that will come.

Do you have a laundry sorter in your laundry room? That would be an easy way your kids can help, by sorting all of their laundry into the proper basket at the end of the day.
The 9/8 yo may be able to help you to fold, my DD is 6 and I know she can fold towels and put together socks, but she is not very efficient at it and she cannot get fold things like shirts or pants.

All kids can however place their folded clothes neatly into their dressers... even the 5 year old.

Also you have to take a step back from being perfect if you want any relief! So maybe the older kids don't fold their clothes perfectly neat, or maybe they mess up their drawers... you can either walk away from this and call it good enough or you spend all of your waking hours cleaning up after them to the degree of perfectionism you hold yourself to... does not sound like a pleasant life to me.
Pick your battles!
Good luck.

my kiddos are 8 and 11 and know how to do their own laundry. from sort to folding they know how to do it all. Do they always do it when they are supposed to , nope , but that's when they have to wear dirty clothes
5 is old enough to learn how to sort .
Now the drawers is a loosing battle. as long as it's in the drawer I don't make a fuss about it. getting them to put away their clothes is another issue entirely . .

I think your 3 oldest kids should be helping. As far as laundry, you could have the 5 year old help sort clothes. It will help with the mastery of colors. My son is 4 and insists on putting the detergent and fabric softener in the washer and pushing the buttons. And he likes to take his folded clothes to his room. He does the same with the dishwasher. He is a tremendous help. He even puts the silverware away for me.

The 8 and 9 year olds can pretty much do almost everything for themselves, so assign them daily chores. Picking up their room after homework. The 9 year old can take the trash. Both of them can sweep the kitchen. The key is to not make it sound like a punishment. My son is a little weird with an obsession for vacuums, so cleaning is fun for him, most of the time.

As far as dishes, is eating on paper products an option? As for the clothes, I agree that as long as they put them away, it's a step in the right direction.

Get them started on it now. Have a battle everyday with my grand kids. They insist on a clean towel,every day, clean pjs everyday, will not wear jeans two days I. A row. They are girls. They sit in school all day. They always complain about not having clothes. I told them to do it themselves.
Bought them laundry baskets,etc. they still will not do it. Makes me crazy. My grandson is not a problem and the baby is only 10 months. My kids were doing laundry at 7 years old. So get on them now or it will come back to bite you.

Lots of good advice here. First, you have a new baby. So don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy your baby! It doesn't last long. I never feel like I can do all I was doing until about 6-9 months postpartum. So kiss and snuggle your babe and just concentrate on getting some washed every day and start having your family help a little more.
My favorite saying... With a cheerful voice "I do a lot of things or you, you can do some little things for me":)
I have five, the oldest being 11. Here is what works for us...
All of them help to sort, (except the baby, well she tries:) ) fold and put away their clothes. The oldest two do theirs and then help with the younger two. They also bring me their dirty laundry on sat so I don't have to collect it all. their bins have three sections so its already sorted. When they were little I labeled each section whites- undies/socks were in the first, reds /pinks /orange, and yellow /green were in the second purple/brown and blue/black in the third. I used a piece of packing tape and Colored a small square for each color with a permanent marker. One square for each of the colors the went in that section. Then stuck it inside the corresponding laundry sorter on the back so they could see it when standing in front of it. If starting for kids that can read you could write the words. But the colors would work too. Now they don't need the reminders they just know what colors go in each. I sort it by way of color families so I don't have to do lights and darks and then I wash most loads on warm/cold. (Unless its a new article of clothing-cold and the whites and undies/ socks -hot)
I have to wash at least two loads a day to stay on top of it. On days I have enough time I will sort the clean laundry into each of their baskets for them to fold and put away. But on busy days or weeks I just wash it and put it in a basket and they sort it on Saturday.
One thing that helps keep drawers organized is to stack the clothes before you put them in the drawer and then turn them sideways and lay them down in the drawer. That way they can see easily what shirts are available and when they pull it out, the stack doesn't get messed up or fall over. So instead of the shirts going up and down in piles they go side to side in one layer and in rows. I do this with pants too, just have to fold everything so they end up in a small rectangle shape.
Hope my discoveries can ease another's "load" ;)
E.

My 4 year old recently started asking to help fold the laundry. So I said "ABSOLUTELY!" lol... I only let her fold her clothes, and I fold another of the same thing at the same time so she can watch and do at the same time, but she's learning. Your kids are perfectly capable of folding and putting away their clothes. If they mess it up in the drawer, it's their problem to deal with. They'll get the hang of it! If you want to, you could supervise how they put things in initially, but beyond that, I wouldn't worry about it too much. When their clothes don't all fit anymore, maybe they'll start taking more care to keep them folded.

I recently redid my daughters closet when my son moved into that room. I put everything at their height --they are 3 and 5. The hangers aren't neat, but everything is hung up. I also put bins in the closet, one for socks, one or undies, one for pants, etc. they put away their own cloths now --I have to help the 3 year old with the hangers.

A friend has 5 kids. She has a giant dresser in the hallway. Each kid has 1 or 2 drawers. She just unloads all the laundry at once, with help from the older kids.

Boy do I know how you feel.
I say have the older two help with the laundry. They are old enough & can
fold all the clothes. Then have them put their own clothes away.
Just let it go as fas as if they are in the right drawers or kind of shoved in.
I have all of my clothes folded & organized. Even my drawers get
jumbled up. So even w/the best of intentions, there's no perfection.
The 5 yr old can help w/something else like folding towels.
Don't expect perfection.
Don't police their final work. It's all good.
Let things go so you have peace of mind.
Make sure they aren't layering too many clothes (a shirt over another shirt
etc.).
Make sure they aren't changing into 5 diff outfits in one day (girls are
notorious for this).
Give yourself a break w/the rest of the house, you are a busy mom. What
matters is your kids & your sanity! You don't have to have the cleanest
house on the block but it's better to have the happiest house.
I notice during the change of seasons we may change our clothes more.
Starting out w/a shirt, sweathirt, jeans then as the day warms up we
change into short sleeved tees & shorts.
Have the older two help w/the house a bit (bringing the trash cans to the
cans on trash day, clearing the table from dinner etc).