Nervous About an IEP

My son is going to be 3 June 5th and I JUST went to his IEP, I was nervous too, I have some issues with anxiety issues, but it was not awful in the least. There was the principal from the kindergarten there, and the woman who did Alex's test and two women who work with the kids ( The teachers) basically we just went over Alex's strengths and the areas he needed work in. I let them know what concerns I had and keyed them into how Alex deals with certain things, Alex is speech delayed and has some sensory issues. Don't stress about it, even if you set up his IEP, and somehow end up feeling like you have forgotten something or feel the need to update it, it is not set in stone. Lots of luck!

Your IEP meeting will probably go very well. I would ask them for a copy of their draft IEP for you to review before the meeting. They may not be used to parents at this stage of the game asking for a copy of the IEP (you usually do that once you have a little bit more experience under your belt), but they should be able to accomodate you. It just makes sense for you to be able to look at the draft prior to the meeting so that you will come prepared and, hopefully, the meeting won't last as long.

When you are reviewing the IEP goals, make sure that the goals are meaningful and measurable. If your child has no problem asking "what" questions, for example, then that would not be an appropriate goal for him. And you don't want a goal that states, "Johnny's speaking skills will improve," because that goal is overly broad and vague. When you are reviewing the goals, ask yourself:

Does this goal apply to my son? Will it help him?

Will everyone who reads this goal (his teacher, aides, OT, ST) read and interpret this goal the same way? (That's what you want them to be able to do.)

Are they going to be able to take data on his? How will they be able to measure this goal?

And I would suggest taking another parent advocate with you. Someone whose child has similar issues as yours and is familiar with the IEP process and how the school district works, and has that 20/20 hindsight about the issues your child may face at school and what his needs really are at this stage in his life. If you have a Parent support group in your area, you can call them up and ask them if they have someone who can attend the meeting with you.

Most likely, your meeting will go very well and you will have nothing to worry about. The people with the school district, in my experience, are usually very lovely people who really care about children. My only concern for my son, when he was at that age, was making sure that he didn't receive a boilerplate IEP that really wasn't functional for what my son's needs really were.

Good luck to you and your son. Blessings.

I am a former school counselor and the mother of a developmentally delayed son and Laurie D covered the most important advice, "ask for the forms ahead of time so you know what will be covered." There is no need to be nervous. The members of the team care about children and do their jobs well under extraordinary expectations. They all, including you, have a little piece of the plan for which they're responsible. It's like a family meeting deciding who is going to do chores - only very important decisions are made there for your child and everyone is entitled to speak. Also the last word of advice from Ladybug C, "don't sign anything until you are satisfied" is sound. You have a right to understand what you sign - the law says in language you understand (I paraphrase). The law was written to protect bi-lingual parents, but I worked with disadvantaged parents as an advocate and always reminded team members if the parent doesn't understand it in their lay language and is not able to feed it back comfortably, they will not be able to carry through their part of the goals. Be prepared. You know your son better than ANYONE. They should be including you in all the conversations and goal setting, so don't just let it happen around you. Feel free to ask questions. You are a valued member of the IEP Team and the true coordinator. If you must, remind them it's your first time and you may need more explanation until the terminology is familiar, etc. As school professionals who deal with this routinely, we can forget that sometimes and go off on our own opinions and decisions. Even your pediatrician does that sometimes, I'm sure. I would also add personally that prayer, if you're a believer, is a very potent asset as God is preparing your son for great things in this world that only he can accomplish.

The best advice I was given is to find another Mom in your school district who recently had a child go through this process at your son's age -- and ask her to tell you how it works. All school districts have their "idiosyncrasies," and she'll help let you know how it all works. Call your EI Service Coordinator or Parent Liaison and ask if they can put you in touch with a Mom willing to talk with you.

In short, the school team will explain the results of their evaluation, introduce their draft IEP goals and explain their placement decisions (which program is most suitable for your son -- and what services he is eligible for.) They will show you how many minutes of each service they will give your son -- either "direct" or "consultative." (Consultative means that the therapist specialist will be talking to your son's teacher about his progres..instead of giving him one-on-one therapy.)

I don't think you need your EI Coordinator. However, you should not attend this meeting by yourself. Bring your spouse and even your "key" therapists -- the ones who understands your son's condition best and could speak on his behalf on your request. (I brought 3 of my son's therapists.) If these options don't work for you, ask your best friend to attend with you -- not to talk at the meeting, but just to have another person in the room for moral support. The school will likely have 5-6 staff members on their side of the table. Don't go alone.

It's important to work with the school staff -- do not be confrontational. Be respectful at all times and use "sweetness" to ask for what you want.

Please let us know how things went! Best of luck!!

EDIT: Like everyone else, I *strongly* recommend you respectfully request a copy of your son's evaluation, as well as the draft IEP goals, 5 days in advance of the meeting. You may have to go pick them up yourself or they may offer to email them. However, you will be better off reading everything before you get into the meeting. The draft IEP they give you will likely NOT have the actual distribution of services (x min of OT, etc.) They will not give you that until the actual meeting.

Hello B.!

It sounds like you have everything in order and the meeting is just to formally put everything in writing for next year. Before having my kids I was a school psychologist. When we would have a child entering our pre-k from the birth to three program we would have a meeting to review all reports and evaluations. If we had more questions sometimes we would do some of our own assessments and then we would plan an appropriate program. Basically the school system is going to decide based on your child's needs, how much service time is necessary during his school hours as well as what goal need to be worked on. Please let me know if you need/want more info!! Good luck and don't be nervous it will be pretty straight forward.

H.

I think everyone has had great advice so far. You have the right to bring whomever you want with you to the meet, so if you would be more comfortable with your EIC there, feel free to ask if they could attend with you. I would just let the school know ahead of time that you would be bringing someone extra. Certainly, if you have any questions, ask. I work with hearing impaired students and often, I even have questions or might not understand what someone is saying. Also, like one of the pp's said, make sure they have covered everything.

They will ask you what are some of your son's strengths and also what your concerns are as a parent, so if you want to think of those things ahead of time to be prepared.

First off good luck in Pre K I am sure things will go well. I'd have anyone at the meeting who knows your son and has information that will help his teacher meet his needs. It always helped me a ton if the parent brought people who knew the child and how they learned and had info on anything I could do to make things easier for the child. Also, if you're stressed feel free to bring a trusted friend as moral support. Remember you are a member of this team and you have a voice here. Before you go in make a list of the things you want to see them do with your child and your expectations for what you think they can accomplish( be realistic) in a year. That will help the teacher write the IEP. She doesn't know your child so anything you can give her as guidelines will really help. Good luck :)

LOVE the answers so far. My son is almost 4, was in Early On and now has an IEP in preschool. Keep an open mind, it is really a discussion between all of you on how best to help your son. You don't have to sign anything until you are comfortable with it and understand how it is going to help your son. It has to be an agreement between all of you, including the parents - not just the school telling you what they are going to do.

I would see if there is a special ed support group or even just a special ed coordinator for the school building or the district who can help you understand what the whole process is about. I had lots of questions coming up on our son's 1-year anniversary of his first IEP (does he have to re-qualify for services, etc.), and when I finally found the right people to explain things, it really helped me to understand what was coming up over the next few years.

If you have been in the early intervention program your son has probably had an IFSP? An IEP is very similar - goals and what is going to be done to help him meet the goals.

Good luck!

I've probably been to 15 or more IEP meetings at this point. They're nothing to be nervous about. You've got everything in order already, and the IEP meeting is to go over your son's short term and long term goals and how they will help him achieve those goals. For example, my son's IEP in K said something like "he will hold his pencil with the triangle grip 60% of the time. Currently at 20% of the time, he will get 1 1/2hr of OT per week to achieve this goal." etc. Remember, the IEP is in place to HELP your son. Everyone in that meeting is there because they all want what's best for your son. So relax and enjoy meeting your son's IEP team. Good luck!!

My son has had an IEP since he was 3. Kudo's to you for knowing something needed to be addressed and then following thru. As far as the meeting they are really informative. there will be you, the teacher, the special ed person from the district and possibly the school nurse / therapist etc. each will give a short report on what has been observed and then what is being put into place for the next year. The only suggestion i have is that when he gets to regular kindergarten and it is a half day program ask for the speech and occupational therapies to be held before or after his regular school day so he misses as little of regular school stuff as possible and then when he hits first grade the same. my son had speech therapy every day (his speech problems were really bad) they pulled him out during the time the other kids were doing reading stuff. by the end of the year he was so far behind he couldn't catch up and we ended up having him do first grade again. the school didn't want to hold him back but they were going to pull him out again every day the next year and he would have been behind forever. so just my thoughts. also if possible have them do some of his stuff during the summer. our school district had a summer preschool program that my son qualified for he went to that for 3yr, 4yr preschool and then kindergarten and 1st and second grade. thru the school district it was free and becuase of the speech stuff he qualified. good luck

I've been to about 4 IEPs now and they have been vastly different from each other. Some have been highly confrontational, others have been very collegial. It really depends on what the people are like from the school.

Be prepared. Write out a list of your son's issues--everything you want worked on. Write out another list of the services he'll need to help out in his challenged areas. Make sure you bring every assessment done, but publicly and privately. Actually, make sure the school has these in advance (bring them by today if they don't have them already).

Also, do not sign the IEP at the meeting--even if you think you're getting everything you want. You have to let the document sit a day or so. That way, you look at it with fresh eyes and can catch any mistakes that might be in there!

Good luck!
C.
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It is a very intimidating experence the first time at an IEP meeting, but there is nothing to fear. First and foremost, know what the process is, and understand that the school has to move through the paperwork in a specific order. You can learn about this at www.wrightslaw.com.

Each thing they tell you or point out on the forms is filling a specific purpose to meet the procedural requirements of IDEA and IL state laws, so let them say what they need to say, and ask questions when you have them. If you have a specific question, ask when the right time to ask would be, and this may help you and the team to get the job done. You have a lot more at stake than the rest of the team does, and it is hard for them to remember that, but they have a job to get done.

At the first meeting, you will go over the evaluation data, and will need to reach an agreement about how he will be served, under what category, and you will have a chance to agree or disagree with the school evaluation. It is your right to request an independent evaluation if you disagree, but know that this will delay services for initial evaluations.

After you have been informed of the evaluation, if he qualifies for services, they will go over the IEP step by step. You will have input, and at the begining of the IEP, there will be a statement about what you want for your son. You should include that you want a program that will maximize his educational potential. I say that because this coveres you legally, and if you settle for less than this in your statement, you are limiting your own input. It may seem like a small thing, but it is not. You want to shoot for the moon on this statement, you are in no way entitled to this, but if you let the school write something specific and limiting here, they can say that you had input, and they did what you wanted. Always make this statement if they will let you.

They will go through each page of the IEP, and when they get to the end, they will ask you to sign the IEP. You will need to give consent for this first IEP to go into effect, it is the only time that your full consent is required to start services. Read about initial IEP's and consent on wrightslaw so that you understand it. You do have the right to disagree, but on an initial IEP it is tricky.

Learn what "measurable" really means on wrightslaw, and learn about evaluation data so you understand it fully by reading "Understanding Tests and Measurments for Parents and Advocates." Read this as many times as you need to so that you understand what the evaluators tell you at the meeting. It will be very helpful. You will need to fully understand how they are going to measure his progress, and where he is starting from.

There will be some differences between early intervention and an IEP. Much of what he is offered is dependent on his evaluation, and if he has a diagnosis that qualifiys him for special education, or if he has a need for the instructional service of speech and langague therapy; there is a difference.

Some children will recieve speech and langague therapy through the school as an instructional service without having a full educational program and will be "Speech Only" students. This can be done without a broad category of a disablity, of which there are 13 qualifiying categories. If he has a qualifying diagnosis under IDEA and he needs special education to be functional, he will qualify for special educaiton, and many schools will have preschool programs for children with disabilities or will provide a preschool program that is supported by special education and related services. Occupational therapy is a related service to special education. It is unlikely that he will recieve OT unless his is in a special education program. Sensory integration Disorder is not usually recognized by schools as a diagnosis that will qualify children under any of the categories. Some schools may recognize that children need services, and may find a way to qualify the child, and if that is the case, do not be concered about the way the school wants to qualify your child at this age, listen to the program they offer and see if that is what you think is good for your son.

If you are only offered speech, you may have to pick up OT through private therapy, and you should be exploring this avenue anyway, as public services are only required to make your child functional, and you will always want more than that for your son.

If you feel like you cannot do it alone, contact an advocate and find a support group in your area. Wrightslaw has a yellow pages on it's site for each state, and you can find help if you need it.

Remember, you are a part of the process and the team, learn where you fit and try to always keep the relationship you have with the school on good terms. Let them do what they need to do, and they will be more likely to work with you too!

M.

Relax.
Breathe.
The IEP appointment is to figure out what services he will receive when. Make sure you have all of his information with you. You need to be sure that all of his needs are met.
They have the information from the evaluations. They will tell you what they've come up with.
I found the IEP meeting extremely comforting when my #1 was in pre-K. The school is used to all different kinds of kids. They will work with you. Just relax. Don't get all worked up.
Don't sign anything unless you are sure everything has been covered.
YMMV
LBC

Don't be nervous. Everyone in the room is there to meet the needs of your child. You will be walked through the meeting by professionals and they will explain everything. If you don't understand something just ask for further explanations. If you would like to see something different done just ask and they are usually very accomodating. I am a classroom teacher and have sat in on many IEPs. the meeting shouldn't take longer than 30 mins. Good luck.