Neighbors Having Problems & It's Affecting My Daughter

This would concern me, too. Unfortunately you can't control what other children discuss with your daughter. I would try to remain calm when discussing this with your daughter. I would want her to continue to feel ok with confiding in you. I would also look for opportunities to get to know the parents. If they question why you prefer the girls play at your house I would explain that she's your only child and you tend to worry about her. Also if you haven't done so already now is a good time to discuss inappropriate touch.

You've gotten lots of good advice - but I just want to echo some: The facts that there are yelling AND older teenage boys, AND an 8 year old girl who typed the words "sexabuse" - are good reasons to not allow your daughter at their house. That's definitely not being overprotective. It's being smart. Also, you should definitely tell the mom what the girls were looking at on the computer. You don't have to say -"Your daughter did this..." just - "I noticed they were looking at this site and I talked to my daughter about it...thought you should know.." I know that's awkward, but it's definitely the responsible thing to do. If anything is happening in the family, adults will be is such denial for far too long and they need to have the evidence. By the way, I don't think you are legally obligated (that's just people who work with kids, like daycare providers and teachers) - it's just the decent thing to do. Finally, I hope you can still allow the little girl to come over your house - she may need a safe place. I think there are always some friends that you need to supervise closer than others, and this will definitely be one of those friends. Keep your eyes and ears open. And as others have said, keep those lines of communication open with your daughter. Good luck.

I agree with other moms that you should talk to the neighbors, however DON'T expect they will be nice about it. Nevertheless, if there is any chance that the girl was looking for help ( re: the sexabuse thing) then you must mention it, in as kindly a way as possible.
Now about the neighbors yelling etc. I don't think you can protect your daughter from all the different kinds of parents and people in general there are in the world. Of course it is essential that she know how to remove herself from a scary situation, and of course you want to protect her from those parenting in a different way then you would. But that will be near to impossible as she gets older. So you can teach her that there are different kinds of people who behave in various ways, etc. And there are boundries that should not be crossed. I'm just saying if you forbid her from going to any home where there has been yelling, I don't think she'll have too many friends! Also I don't yell at my kid either and his first year of kindergarten he had a screamer for a teacher. It was alarming for him. Protect, but don't overprotect.

You must let the parent know of the computor thing. 2 teen boys is the reason that young lady will grow up too fast and domino to your daughter. If you don't speak to the parents you won't know if they'll do something or not. Bite the bullet. It's more important to be a good mom than a stand back neighbor.

It sounds like you and your daughter have a very good relationship and the advice you gave her would help her extricate from any difficult situations. However, much more alarming to me is the 8 year old tying sexabuse.com. I just spent a few mintues on poptropica.com It allows children as young as 6 to create characters. At first blush, it didn't seem inappropriate to me. When I looked at sexabuse.com, it isn't actually a web page that exists. Someone has reserved the domain name for future use, so other than the words themselves, there was no exposure to anything inappropriate. However, I am begging you to intervene on behalf of the neighbor girl. I strongly recommend mentioning this to her mother, as it may be a tip off that she needs help. While you are concerned that this neighbor may be talking to your child about something inappropriate, I am concerned that the neighbor is being abused, or knows someone who is.

Hi L.,
I have almost no experience in this area, so I don't have much help. I am wondering one thing - if the little neighbor girl typed in sexabuse.com, is it something she learned about from her older siblings/parents, or is it because she is being abused in some way? If so, do your girls go to the same school? You can inform the teacher as to the incident, they have procedures for handling those reports (my sister and mom are both teachers) and that takes you out of the situation.
This is a bad one, good luck!
MC

I wouldn't beat around the issue and would immediately go to your neighbors and tell the mom that you are concerned about what you found her daughter typing in the computer. This sounds like a sign for help and her mother may not even know what is going on. If my daughter was typing in sexabuse.com at someone else's house I would hope to god they would tell me. This isn't something you can just ignore.