Neighbor Kids Driving Me Crazy - Denver,CO

You need to take care of this problem as soon as possible. I used to live in a neighborhood that had tons of kids, and my yard was right in the middle! Mostly, I didn't mind having all 10-20 kids playing in the backyard, but when it got too wild, or when too many of the bigger kids were hanging out with my younger ones, I would tell them to leave..bluntly!! If they wanted something to drink I would tell them to go back to their house and get something. If they wanted to go somewhere with my kids, I would tell them that this is my time with my kids and they couldn't go. You need to set your rules and discuss them with your daughter, make her understand that SHE is your only responsibility and not the other kids, that you have a budget and cannot afford to take her friends everywhere and so on.
The other kids are taking advantage of you and your house, etc. and so are the other parents. You need to introduce yourself to the parents and explain your new guidelines. Since the parents work, suggest that your daughter goes over there on the weekend. If that doesn't work, and the kids still want to play, make it outside only. I hope this helps, I was known as the meanest mom on the block with the most rules, but they still kept coming back.

T.,

You simply learn to say "No" Your time is important and if spending time with the neighbor kids is causing you frustration then don't go there. If they wonder why- be honest with them but do it in a nice way. Sometimes people don't realize when they are taking advantage of a situation and some don't care. If it bothers you that they never pay then you have to be forward with the parents and simply share with them that you don't mind taking their child places but you don't have the extra money to pay their way. Hope this helps. C.

Hi T.,

There is nothing wrong saying NO! They are being rude by doing this, and I have had people using me as a free babysitter and I know it get old real fast. Tell the kids "You need to go home now". Don't keep paying for activities or even feeding them unless it hot and they need a drink of water. If they say something like nobodies home at there house then talk to the parents (you don't say if they are from the same family) and find out whats going on, tell them that you are not responsible for their kid because you have not agreed to watch them. You could say that it wouldn't be a problem if it only happen once in awhile but that it happens every week and they need to find proper childcare arrangements. Tell them you don't like to be taken advantage of this way, of course do this as polite as possible with your tone, but it needs to be said. If you talk to mom and not getting the response you want, talk to dad, or maybe, if you know who grandma is talk to her or another neighbor that they might associate with. If it continues (not resolve in about a month) call the police or social services and tell them that these kids are not being supervised, they apparently have no sitter and are alone to wander around the neighborhood so many days a week. Some people have no trouble taking advantage of others and will continue to do so unless they are stopped and again unless you have agreed to watch them they are not you responsibility. Hope this is resolved soon, the kids deserve better too.

It sounds to me like the children are simply bored and like being around your family, which, you could probably take as a compliment to your mothering abilities. Before taking drastic measures, maybe you could invite the mother for coffee. Try to get a feel for where she's coming from and when the timing seems right bring up what's been going on. Maybe she doesn't even know how much time her kids are spending at your home, or that you've been spending money on them. It doesn't sound like she's purposefully using you. If she's working full-time then, more than likely, she doesn't know half of what goes on while she's at work and may appreciate your thoughts. Good luck with this matter. I know it's difficult to bring up touchy issues with neighbors.