Negative Preschooler

Volunteer! Next chance you get, make the time to volunteer in the class (special day or normal day). Get in there and join in. 1 of 2 things could come from this: you can see if "Bobby" is overpowering the room or if he is just misunderstood, not being taught some social skills at home, etc so you know if you need to address the teacher further on this. Also, it will help you find some good things to point out about Bobby to your son. If you can find the good things, you can teach your son to look for them too. For example, when the shirt statement you mentioned before arises - you can then respond, "Hey, maybe he'll wear that cool Bumblebee T-shirt! Do you remember it from the other day? It was awesome!"

Perhaps you can get lucky and "catch" Bobby's parents in the hall at drop off/pick up and comment something like, "My son talks about your son all the time!" and see if they also are feeling the same way/have the same concerns. If anything, it'll give you more info. about who this kid is, where he comes from, and how to proceed in the future.

You don't have to force them to be friends. Some people just don't mesh. But you should teach acceptance and understanding. Helping your son to find the good in the Bobby's of the world will make him a better person.

Best of luck!

He sounds just like my son at that age and he just can't let go of an issue. And, as you say, it is an alpha male sort of thing and something he's going to have to deal with continually. My son has matured and this is far, far less of an issue now, but I also think it's because of where he goes to school - the teacher won't tolerate the bullying. So, I think you need to talk to the school/teacher about it and make sure that they're being pro-active and re-enforcing postive behaviors and not tolerating the negative. But, I do think that this may likely just be your son's disposition. The only thing that I found to be effective is to just acknowledge that his views are valid. Often, just letting him air his feelings helps and then I switch the topic of discussion.

I would not worry at all about him just playing with girls or by himself. If he's enjoying himself and seems happy, I wouldn't be worried. The girls also just loved my son and two twins would hug and kiss him when he arrived and left. My son also has always had few friends - he's just very particular(per the first point), but his few friends are real and true friends.

If your sons teacher didn't seem concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I've learned that the teachers do in fact have way more experience in a classroom setting then we do as parents. A lot of it is the age, maturity, etc. I would advise NOT to switch classes because there will be a "Bobby" in every grade.
I would also suggest not making a big deal when he's talking about Bobby. Your reaction might be fueling more "Bobby" talk. Certainly validate his feelings but don't dwell on Bobby (even if he's pushing you to).
Perhaps schedule a weekly playdate with one of the boys he does like in the class or with a neighborhood friend. That way, his social skills boy/boy will continue to grow before Kindergarden starts.
Good luck!!

Well,
My son's teacher finally switched him tables because she kept catching my son "retaliating" against a bully. Some of it is normal 4 year old stuff, I think they all tease and stuff. However, not having to sit at the table (they split into three tables) with this other child has made a HUGE difference.
At the very least, you should speak with the teacher and director.
With regards to the girls... he is probably just hanging with people who are nicer to him. This is a good thing. And as the class dynamics change, so will that.
Monday when I picked up my son, several boys hugged him goodbye. I'd rather it have been a cute little girl. LOL
Take care...
E.

J.,
I would try and get him into another class. I don't believe in making kids stay with other kids that bully them or they can't get along with. No child should ever be bullied, especially at such a young age.

L.