Needs Advice on What to Do...

Hello J.!

Sometimes we get so "attached" to how someting should look like that we lose sight of perfectly great solutions! Your daughter wants to be in girl scouts....don't get in the way of that becasue you "feel" you should take her! Instead, be grateful that your mother (her grandmother) can take her and supports you! It takes a village, remember? Take all the support you can get!!

S.

Let her join. She will make new friends and have a new experience. Like already mentioned, you can try to schedule for special programs and events. It is great for your mom to offer to take her so she can go. As much as we moms try to we cannot do it all.

I would do it! If your mom offered take her up on it and let your daughter do it sometimes we have to ask for help and not be expected to be everywhere all the time.

I would definately let her join. If your mom said she would take her for you on Saturday's what a blessing. You could take off on Saturday's when her troop is doing something special.

Remember it takes a village to raise a child, not just a momma. Take the help!

If your imagined "duty as a mom" is conflicting with your daughter's real-world opportunities, then I hope you'll allow your mother to help. Modern life is pretty crazy, especially considering in previous generations, when families were more extended, there were often extra hands and hearts to help out with all sorts of family needs.

So here we are today expecting parents to somehow do it all themselves. It's not realistic to hang on to those old expectations when life is telling you something else would work better.

I was in Girl Scouts from the time I was 5 all the way through high school and I can tell you, it was so worth the experience. It helped me build my self esteem, confidence, sense of responsibility and respect for myself, others and the world around me. I am now a lifetime member of Girl Scouts and have some wonderful memories of my times as a youth in scouting. I even met my best friend at summer camp when we were 9 and we are still close friends today. Girl Scouts kept me focused through school and gave me a place to belong. I know countless others who have had similar experiences.

If there is anyway you can let your mom support both you and your daughter in this venture into Girl Scouts, I strongly encourage you to do so. There are so many opportunities for your daughter to explore, and she will become a better person because of it! :)

Once your daughter gets started, it's possible that you can arrange for your daughter to be part of a carpool if driving becomes too much for your mom. Maybe she can drive one Saturday a month and another mom can drive the other Saturday a month. Also, chances are that there will be activities throughout the year that will happen on other days besides Saturdays that you can participate in as well.

Talk to the troop leaders. They are your best friends! :) Ask them if there are things you can do "behind the scenes" to help support the troop. Maybe you can help prepare the weekly crafts, or help plan a special activity that happens on another day besides Saturday. Could you make a snack for the troop once in awhile and send it with your daughter? Would you be willing to host the troop at your workplace one Saturday and show them what you do? There is always work that needs to be done to keep a troop functioning, and it doesn't always happen on meeting day. I'm sure that the leaders would be grateful for your help. Parent involvement doesn't just end with driving your daughter to and from the meeting!

Good luck, and I hope your daughter enjoyes her time in Girl Scouts!

My answer is slightly bias, since my girls have been in Girl Scouts for 9 years. However, you need to let her join. They may have meetings on Saturdays, but they'll probably have other outings/activities on different days of the week.

Another thought... it's great that your mom is willing to help out, but keep in mind she may have friends that will also be joining. Perhaps her friend's moms can help out too (once you get to know them, of course)

As the years go by, there will be activities that she will not be able to participate in due to scheduling, don't let this be one of them since you have the opportunity to prevent it.

I had a great time in Girl Scouts starting at about age 7 or 8. My mother rarely came with me because she was working. But I had a great time! The girl scouts met at a church that was on my way home from school, so I just stopped there instead of going home. I just needed to make sure that I told my parents which day I'd be home later!

Don't worry about it. She'll be fine!

Let your mother take her when you can't go. This can be a great bonding experience for the two of them. Many activities take place on Saturdays when the kids are out of school. She can't sit out of everything forever. Be so grateful that your mother is willing to do this. You might be surprised, and it will be good for all of you.

Good luck!

Let your mom take her. I was in GS for years, loved it!!! I have a son who is in Little League baseball. I thought that would be something him and his dad could bond over. Season started hubby's work schedule changed and he has missed games and some of my son's practices. I take my son and when I can't my mom or sis does. What I am getting at is it doesn't matter who takes her it matters that since she wants to go and you have resources you should take advantage and let her join. There will be activities and events that you can attend with her and see how much fun she is having.

I haven't read the other responses, so sorry if I repeat

I don't know what grade she is in, but starting in 1st grade, they encourage the moms to drop the girls off, not stay for the meetings. So it's not a big deal for your mom to take her. If she's in kindergarten (Daisy Scout), wait a year and sign her up next year. If you can, meet with the leader or speak with her on the phone and let her know you'd like to do that so she can expect your daughter next year to join that troop.

I personally don't care for Girl Scouts, but that's just me. I don't like how each troop is out there on their own where the troop is only as strong as it's leader (as opposed to cub scouts, in which each den has the support of a pack that meets on a regular basis with leaders of older boys who mentor the newer leaders).... and I don't get the whole sisterhood of it, I guess. As the girls get older, I have seen plenty of catty attitudes and girl drama. I keep trying to talk my daughter out of staying in it, but she has several friends in the troop so she want to stay (even though she doesn't care at all about badges)

problem solved, let grandma help

If your mom's offering, I would TOTALLY let her do it! You can't let your own guilt feelings affect what your daughter does. If you didn't let her because you're feeling like it's your duty, then you're actually being selfish about it. It's not a big deal who takes her, it's not about who goes with her, it's all about the girls.

I agree that you should let your Mom take her. Or even another Mom. Go when you can, but allow this to be about bonding with other girls, not necessarily a mother daughter thing. She really wants to and so holding her back would be more about you feeling left out. When you can, be there. She will remember those times. But it's okay if you can't. Your daughter will learn that there are many important things in life, and sometimes that means Mommy has to miss it and go to work. In other words......it's not all about her.

If your Mom can really commit to it and the requirements/outings/fundraisers/activities they have... and work around your schedule... then maybe allow her to do that. They meet on Saturdays, but girl scouts does have other activities too... .that may not be only on Saturdays... so something to think about. Plus the drop off and pick up of your Daughter...

Or compensate your Mom somehow....

I know how you feel and the dilema of it. How old is your daughter?
Do you have a Hubby that can help?