Needing Some Advice - Greenfield,OH

Feeding, while an important part, is not the only part of childcare, even for a newborn. Encourage him to step up in other ways, especially bathing - I've always found that to be a big bonding time. Just keep encouraging him during the times the baby doesn't need to eat.

Get an electric breast pump and pump your milk into a container which you can store in the freezer til you need it. But once you get it at first pour it into a bottle and let your bf feed the baby.Ya'll can sit together and talk or what ever and he can still feed the baby.This way he won't feel left out of the equation.Once the baby is full or asleep; ya'll can cuddle on the couch or snuggle close in the bed.so you can spend sometime together.
Do not get a hand held breat pump.It will wear your hand out and it takes more time using a hand held one.
I hope this helps you out.

I honestly felt breastfeeding was the hardest part of having a baby. Harder than delivery and recovery. That said, I nursed 2 children until 12 months. I have run the whole gammit of nursing problems and was at one time considering doing the credentialing to become a lactation consultant (I am a Women's Health Physical Therapist). If you need other specific advice, feel free to e-mail me.

My husband was in the same boat as your boyfriend. At first I felt bad waking him up, but he also felt frustrated because he couldn't help and he's a light sleeper so he was awake anyway. Eventually, we worked out a system. Brian would go and change the baby's diaper and then bring him/her to me in bed so I could nurse. I would then take the baby back to the bassinet or crib after they were done eating and back to sleep. I usually even just sat up in bed with my back against the headboard and a pillow to support my arm so I could nurse in the football hold. That seems to be the best way to nurse a newborn to give you great control of their hold and reduce the stress on your nipples.

When my kids were about 2 weeks, I started pumping. Then before bed, ie 11pm. My husband would feed the baby a bottle of pumped breastmilk while I pumped one for the next night. It kept him involved. My kids never had any problems with so-called "nipple confusion" and as they grew older it was great to have the freedom of doing either bottle or breast. It certainly helps when you need to have someone watch the baby for a Dr appointment or date.

M.
I started out pumping for my preemie daughter when she was in the NICU, and was later able to breastfeed her. The nurses there told me that I could pump and have my husband feed her by bottle at night. This helped him have his time bonding with her. This can also be done during the day. Because we weren't able to hold our baby all of the time, it was a privilege to get to do something with her. ...such as taking a temperature, changing a diaper, giving her a bath, giving her a massage. We would take turns having time with her and both got good at her care.
Also, telling your boyfriend what he is good at will boost his confidence. I also want to take the chance to encourage you as you're learning to breastfeed. It is something beautiful, and they don't tell you that it is difficult at times. So, good job. Best wishes and God bless!

My advice is to give daddy a special job that only he does, maybe bathing, or maybe he could be in charge of changing/burping baby?
In my house, daddy didn't really have a special job, but at least one day a week, HE gets up with the kids and lets me sleep in or lay in bed and read, whatever I want to do, but I do it by myself. I know it doesn't seem feasible at this age, but newborns eat about every 2 hours, so after the first am feeding, wake daddy up and have him take baby into another room and cuddle or play, whatever he feels comfortable doing.

You might want to try Lanolin on your nipples for the breastfeeding, it's a lifesaver for the bf mom--at least it was for me!
~J.

Breast feeding is hard but worth it. There really is nothing your boyfriend can do as far as the feedings go right now. Let him do other things, like changing diapers, baths, and just loving the little guy. He will bond because he is his dad. Tell him to let you get over this hump first and then you can pump and let him feed the baby. If breast feeding is hard for you you should really check into a lactation counselor. I had a very hard time with breastfeeding and was determined to do it. By the time I was at a lactation counselor my son was on the verge of dehydration and they said if I would have waited any longer they would have had to put him in the hospital. This was after 3 days. The lactation counselor will help you get on the right track and help you feel more comfortable. good luck

Hi M.. First of all, congratulations on your baby boy! :)

Breastfeeding can be quite trying in the beginning but it is definitely worth it if it is something that you feel is important. Definitely pumping and letting your boyfriend feed him is an option. I was cautioned though that if you are having difficulties getting a good breastfeeding relationship established, you might want to consider waiting a several weeks until the two of you have the hang of it. If you have any questions about issues you're having, La Leche League is a wonderful resource full of women who have "been there and done that." Also it seems that there are lots of women here who have breastfed/are breastfeeding (myself included) who would be willing to offer any ideas to help out.

In the meantime, there are lots of things that the baby's daddy can do besides helping with feeding him. There is diaper changing, baths, soothing him when he's crying or fussy and isn't hungry or needing a diaper change (one way is to hold the baby upright with his head nestled against his neck under his chin and humming), baby massage, singing or just talking to him ,and of course there is the ultimate job of "pacifier-keep-in-placer" if your little one takes a pacifier but looses it frequently (this job is done very easily while daddy is snuggling the baby). A couple that we know have a baby sling (kind of a pouch) that they both wear and carry their little girl in when they're doing things or she just needs soothing. Everytime I see them, he's carrying the baby in the sling more than his wife is. :)

Good luck and remember we're here for you!

Give daddy some 'daddy' jobs. You can nurse, he can burp the baby, change diapers, cuddle your little one to sleep. There's lots and lots of stuff daddies can do too. My husband was the same way. He didn't really know what to do to help me and he wasn't all that comfortable with holding our little peanut. As she got older, we assigned certain duties to dad. He gives her a bath every night, he helps her with her dinner, we have certain toys that are 'daddy' toys. Things HE does with her. It's really wonderuful. I think men have a harder time bonding with an infant. My husband kept saying "but she can't DO anything!" He can also rub your back, your feet, etc bring you water, help clean, cook dinner all things that need done, but you're too tired to do. That's such a major help! Give it time, you'll figure it all out eventually.

I've nursed 3 babies now, and let me just say that the first year is tough. In my experience, daddy doesn't bond a whole lot until after the first year, but it all evens out. It is tough on mom because there's not a lot dad can do when baby is crying to be close to the breasts. Babies instinctively know when they aren't near the food source and will many times only tolerate other people for a short time. The older the baby gets, the easier that gets. I really don't think it makes sense on a biological level to switch to bottles or formula. It's not what is healthiest for the baby. Although, psychologically, it really can be tough sometimes on mom. I stuck it out and was always glad I did. My kids are super healthy and very secure.