Needing Encouragement About Son's Night Time Sleep Issues

I suggest that this is just a stage in his development and he will learn how to soothe himself. I suggest that letting him cry it out only makes it harder for him to get to sleep. He gets rightfully upset and can't calm himself down.

I suggest that you not immediately go in to him but once his fussing becomes crying that you go in, check to see if he needs a dry diaper, more covers, less covers, etc. Then without picking him up, gently pat him for a few minutes before leaving. When he starts up crying again, repeat the patting and leave. Eventually he'll learn that you're there and will take care of him but that you're not going to pick him up.

He may be going thru a growth spurt and need to be fed. Or you might try giving him more to eat/drink just before he goes to sleep at night. When you fed him did he eat like he was hungry? If so, feed him that first time going in to him. Then just go in, pat him a bit and leave. He will learn from repetition, what to expect. He will also learn how to soothe himself when he realizes that you're there every 5-10 minutes.

It's suggested you go in after 5 minutes a couple of times and then gradually extend the length of time before going in to him.

One reason I believe cry it out isn't healthy for the baby is that their nervous system and understanding of emotions isn't such that they can soothe themselves once they've worked themselves up into a frustrated cry. When they do learn to not cry they've stopped because they realize crying doesn't help them and they feel helpless and hopeless. They've learned a negative about life. Someone won't always help me. I'm on my own even tho I'm a baby and can't help myself. This builds just a bit of distrust that when combined with other experiences can teach a baby and then child to learn not to trust their world.

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Like you, my first baby was a great sleeper and the cry it out method was great. It was more of a fuss it out method for him (and I didn't have to try this until he was about 7 months old and his sleep was disrupted from teething). Our second baby was a different story. She NEVER slept through the night until she was 11 months old. I was exhausted! I tried the cry it out method at 7 months with her and she was hysterical!!!! It just didn't feel right. She was not okay with being left in her crib. So, I just toughed it out and comforted her, nursed, rocked, etc. Then I tried it again weeks later; still hysterical. I kept doing this until finally at 11 months, she just fussed and fell asleep on her own. Try to find something soothing for him. For my baby, it was the pacifier and at 11 months, she could find it in the crib on her own. I'm afraid I have no magic solution other than to keep trying and this phase will pass. The good news is, both of my kids are awesome sleepers!!! This isn't forever but I'm sure you are beat!

I highly encourage you to consider sleep training. There are a ton of methods. We prefer Dr. Sears' way, but whatever you choose, at 8.5 months, he's definitely old enough. The key is to choose a method and stick to it. Some babies just need that. We sleep trained our older daughter (now 2.5 years) and immediately went from constant waking at night and no naps unless I held her to sleeping 5-6 hours at a stretch (she was just over 4 months old and still nursed during that first waking). More importantly, the day after we did it she took a 45 minute nap in her crib. All of a sudden life opened up for me, lol.

There are times when a baby's sleep will naturally be interrupted (teething, learning something new, growth spurt), but if he/she knows how to get to sleep and, more importantly, get *back* to sleep, the disruptions tend to be much less stressful.

Best wishes,

S. :+)

I did something very similar to what Marda P. suggested and it worked very well! Except when I first started, I would only wait about 2 minutes before going in, and then after a few days, I increased the time to 3 minutes, then 4, etc. I also was told by my pediatrician that when you are trying to re-train a baby who is already used to being rocked to sleep, it's important that after you wait the amount of time you choose, then you do everything as normal (picking up, rocking, bottle, etc.). But since I kept making the time longer and longer before I'd go in (or go back in), my daughter eventually was able to learn to soothe herself back to sleep without me even going in there. It took us a few weeks, but she was back on track in no time =) Good luck!

There could be whole host of reasons why he's waking up. It's a matter of trial and error to figure out what it is. When you're feeding him, is he acting like he's really hungry or is he sucking for comfort? If he's acting like he's hungry, maybe give him a snack right before bed. It can be just about anything. My kids both had cereal (Cheerios usually) before bed. It seemed to help keep them full all night long.
At this age it could also be teeth. My girls always seemed to have the most problems with their teeth at night for some reason.
It could also be a growth spurt and he just might need that middle of the night feeding for awhile.
I don't believe in CIO. I definitely don't believe in it at 8 1/2 months. If he's not calming down, then it's not working. It's time to try something new.
You might try picking him up and humming him a song. Sort of sway back and forth. When he's calmed down, but still awake, lay him down. Continue humming and either pat his back or stroke his head. Keep doing that until his eyes are starting to close. Then stop humming, if he doesn't cry, stop patting. If he still doesn't cry, take a step away, then another, then another. Just do it slow. If he starts crying, go back to the last step. So, if he cries when you take a step away, then go back to patting. It might take awhile to get this technique to work, but I swear, I does work!
I know when you're waking up every night it seems like you'll never ever sleep again, but you will. Then when he starts sleeping through the night, you'll miss the middle of the night snuggles :)

my daughter is 9 months, and was similar. first 2-3 months were hell, she wouldnt stay asleep. Then she started sleeping great, 6 hour stretches. That didnt last too long, by 5-6 months, she started waking almost every night, sometimes more than once an hour. Im back and forth between co-sleeping and having her in the crib which is just inches from me. Sometimes shes so needy, she needs to snuggle and have the breast all night. sometimes she sleeps better in her crib. She still has to be swaddled to settle down, but wiggles out soon after falling asleep. Often she wakes when shes unswaddled, so we're re-swaddling, 3-4 times before she settles. Its very draining, we average 3-4 hours sleep a night. I chalk it up to teething, sometimes she hasnt napped enough in the daytime so shes wired up. i dont know about crying it out, the attatchment parenting doesnt recommend it. I would have a hard time listening to her cry for two minutes. This is my 3rd baby... and shes a little stinker :)