Need Support and Advice! (Job/schedule Issues)

I feel for you, sweetheart. I wish I had more experience to share with you. Just a few ideas here:

- Have kids help you out. At 3, 5, and 6, they can pick up their rooms, dust, unpack dishwasher (you do the knives!), put up laundry in their drawers, etc. You said you have so much to do and you can't do it while they're awake. Why not? Better to double dip time with kids & chore than have an upset tired M.. You'll burn out quickly.

- Shop at Goodwill - Sometimes you can find some great stuff for cheap. Also, plan your meals using what's for sale that week (just another idea for budgeting). We are very frugal at this house. When chickens are on sale for 88cents/pound we buy 6 and put them in the freezer.

- Use Crockpot - this will save time for you and hubby cooking, let you spend more time with kiddos.

- I might suggest selling Mary Kay or Avon or Discovery Toys, but I had bad luck with MKay and was not much of a good upfront saleswoman. Discovery Toys might be different though. www.discoverytoysinc.com

- See if you could cut your hours, or work different days so that you and hubby can spend SOME time together too.

- Do your parents live nearby? If I told my mom that I was so overwhelmed and I asked her to help, she'd love to help come clean my house for me while I'm at work, or would come over and cook for me and would love to watch me play with the kids or help them with their chores.

Sorry that's all I got. If I think of more, I'll add it to the list.

I really don't have any advice (sorry) but just wanted to say that I'm right there with you - almost exact same situation! I work about 10-11 hours a week (personal training and gymnastics teacher). My kids can come with me when I'm working at the gym (and go to the kids club) but my husband has to be home some of the time with them. Then, when he is working, I am at home. He's a minister at our church, so he's basically working 24/7 doing various things! I'm really glad that I get to be home with our kids, but we NEVER have a spotless house for sure and I rest almost every time the baby is napping (mine are 11 months and 4 years). Wish I had more advice - maybe someone will have the answer!

Hi MommyB,

I began to pray for you as I got to the line ..."missing out on so much!"
Being a stay at home mom is not easy either. I can understand how you feel because I felt the exact same anxiety while I was working outside of the home. I felt no energy was there to do the extra things that families are suppose to do together. I always felt rushed to come home and cook and clean and "TRY" to relax a little.
If I can offer some of my personal experience as I continue to learn and walk through the parenthood journey:

1- Make chores a family thing. Use postive rewards for the kids helping.

2- Make meals easy not elaborate and perhaps use casseroles or crockpot recipes to make it easier on you.

3- Maybe tiddy up but not CLEAN everyday.

4- I say put your family and your everyday life in God's hands. He will only give you as much as you can handle. Trust and He will lead you. (many of us have a very hard time trusting and leaving our troubles to HIM)

I don't know if you have considered working from home, But I found great relief and the financial burden was lifted. If in the future you are interested in learning about what I do from home just a few hours a week I'd love to tell you more about it. Our local Dallas family is amazing and if you want support, friendships and more... we'd love to have you!

On a different note... I remember my mom going through what you are going through also. There was a point where she worked three jobs and my dad worked from sun up to sun down. It was tough. But be persistant and courageous. Keep your spirits up and give yourself a pat on the back for being bold and coming here to ask for support!

God WILL take care of you and your family.
A big hug to you!!!!!

L. "Pelucha"
____@____.com

Have you read Financial Peace or Your Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsay? Awesome books that will give you a concrete PLAN to control your money, not have IT control you.
I don't know what type of PT job you have but I suspect if it is other than a higher paying professional position, it probably doesn't pay you to go to work. The books will help you explore that, as well as a LOT of other ways to save money on a daily basis. Dave's plan works and it is not a gimmick. Get O. at the library and it won't cost you a dime. I've been where you are and it's no fun. God bless.

Wow do you sound like me in some parts!!! And yes, my husband is also an amazing daddy/husband who does a ton.
I have to agree with the other ladies that direct sales might be the way to go - but be very selective and find the one that is right for you. I personally decided to go with Pampered Chef for a number of reasons. WIth Mary Kay, I didnt like the idea of maintaining a stock... BUT, you dont have a minimum sales requirement with them which is good. With Avon I didnt like that you have to deliver everything yourself- frankly, I dont have time for that and I honestly dont know THAT many people who like the products other than the skin so soft bug repellant line. Then there is Southern Living at Home- their items are VERY nice... but the cost is a little out of my price range. So with Pampered Chef I found that I could write off a portion of my food expenses for feeding my family because I have to test my recipes out to practice them for shows- and who better to test on than my family! :-P So I feed them with a tax writeoff. Then for me, PC items range from a buck or two through cookware sets of $700...But there was something for everyone. Lastly, I personally like the products- I save time by using certain things. And it appeals to men and women since there are lots of men who cook, but not many that I know that wear makeup or decorate their homes.
So my advice to you- look at the direct sales companies and find the one that is right for you. PC was right for me but maybe you like makeup or decor... But you can very easilly bring in a few hundred extra bucks a week AND it is easy to work it around your daycare/nanny situation since you can show SAHM's how to cook items while hosting a playdate.
If you dont already know a PC rep- feel free to write me back with any questions if youre interested. If youre interested in Mary Kay or Southern Living I can put you in touch with friends in your area who sell those items as well.
But regardless- BIG HUG! Your situation is tough but all too common.
xoxo

I've just been in a similar situation -- spending insane hours going back to school while trying to watch 2 toddlers, and going batty trying to keep up with a house which I HAD to do because of severe dust and mold allergies on the part of myself and one of my little ones.

I have found flylady's advice to be helpful with the housework, on the recommendation someone posted on the mamasource site and some of my friends. You can find her at flylady.com. What I found best about flylady is that it is encouraging, that it tells you that yes, you can do the things you want to do, but you just have to make a calendar of your tasks and don't do more than what you plan -- if you've done what you've set out for yourself, then it's break time. It's taken me a three or four months to get to the point that I've had the opportunity to really find break time, but it is working. AND I like the motto of "baby steps" -- that you can't fix your life all at once, but you can get there by little changes.

But let me tell you -- it's time for a break. Find a mom to watch your kids and trade time with you. Maybe one of your kids' friends' mommies? If you can't find one to trade time with you, I'LL trade time with you -- I'm in driving distance! Stress can do real physical and psychological damage. Get out of the house and get yourself to a yoga class! :)

I like the idea of getting some books about changing your financial situation. It's not too late to change your career for something more financially rewarding. Or your husband's. There's a career counseling service in Arlington -- probably there are some closer to you. I think you and I could both do with some professional telling us, "Yes, you CAN change your situation. Yes there IS a happy future in store for you."

Maybe you'll go the way of direct sales and that might work great for you. Anyway, good luck, grab your life by the horns and steer it where you want it to go.

Ok Mom, deep breath in.... deep breath out!!!

Volunteering - if you weren't working and could volunteer with the older kid's school, who would watch the younger ones? Is there a way to volunteer by doing stuff for the teacher from home, and then send it in daily with your kids?

Budget - Classy Kids Consignments is holding a sale next week at Prince William Fairgrounds. They also have a sale in April in Woodbridge near the Kids N Motion/Post Office. Would you have things that you could sell?

Cleaning - Save the big time cleaning for the first and second nights that you are off. Third night do light cleaning. Nights were you are working the next day, either go to sleep at a good time and get up an hour early to straighten up, or only clean for an hour. Maybe one room per night?

Working from home. My mom sells Avon. She's been with it for 20+ years. Some months are better then others. There is low overhead. It takes a bit of driving around and building up your business, but once you get a good territory or some businesses it goes well. You also get a website where family / friends can order from you and you get credit for the sale. They can either ask for you to deliver it or they can have it delivered to their house.
Here is a link to my mom's site.
http://virginiafrench.avonrepresentative.com/
Her main contact info is on there at the top right corner, or you can contact me, and I can send it to you.

Good luck
M.

Hang in there mama! A couple of things come to mind. If you need help ‘relaxing’ there is a natural, herbal supplement called Luminex that you can look into. I just ordered it for myself to try out this month. I haven’t used it yet, but I have heard great things from people that have. It contains natural ingredients including St Johns Wart, griffonia seed, folate, and vitamin B12 that help with depression and anxiety. Let me know if you are interested or have any questions.

Also, I just found ‘the right’ work from home job a couple of months ago. I'm not making millions (yet, haha!), but its helping us save money and make money right now. I still currently have my full-time job and someday I may be working from home completely. But for now, this works! Let me know if you want more information and we can talk.

You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of the kids (and hubby). It really is all about sacrifice. I understand the new clothes thing all too well ;). I have two teens and a 3 year old (a big surprise), so when we thought all was going well and I was back to working part time, we got this new surprise. It was right back to the sacrifice, what is more important. My husband also works LONG hours, rarely do we get a dinner as a family. His days off are usually when the kids are in school, except Sundays (and now he is working every other Sunday). I truly feel your pain. Again, it comes down to sacrifice. You say you budget, that is good. Have you tried shopping at thrift stores, yard sales, etc for the little ones, they grow so fast that it is really not worth spending the money on brand new clothes if you can get "like new" from somewhere else. I have lucked out on this with my kids having many cousins (of course the teens are harder to convince of this lol). I wish I could help you more, but that is about all I can tell you. Good luck with it and I pray you are able to make the decision you want and know is right.