Need Some support...getting Frustrated with Almost 3 Yo That Will Not Potty Trai

Take a break for a few months. Don't even mention the potty, big girl panties, nothing. Try again in a few months and see what happens. She WILL do it as soon as she is ready. I promise!

my daughter is very strong willed and she has a couple extra TBLS of defiance in her. I found the harder I pushed, the harder she resisted on P.T. So I decided to just let things happen on her time. I more or less let it go. It was easy for me to let it go because I had a new born and frankly could not deal with putting her on the potty and wiping. With little to no effort, she has become fully potty trained at the age of 38 months. I would say looking back we spent almost a year with "potty familiarization" and when she was ready, she just took the next logical step and made huge progress from 33-38months. I didn't go the route of taking her diaper off and letting her soil her cloths. But this is because my daughter is a nudist. I think being naked so much helped us, but we live in CA, so not something to do in all climates.

Three is actually kind of young to be totally potty trained. Just be patient and it will happen when she's ready.

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It will happen eventually... my son is 4 and is nearly potty trained he decided to start on his own about 3 weeks ago and the only hang up is he still gets too distracted and has an accident a few times a week otherwise from the start he kept dry all night and did well during the day unless someone else was in charge of him... now I can leave him with almost anyone and come home to no accidents, Grandpa just does not think of it at all.

The potty

a little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 15 seconds or so, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of his head with his right hand.

His mother says: "billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while."
billy says: "i'm fine, mommy. I just haven't gone potty' yet."

mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

billy says: "works for ketchup."

If she isn't ready, it won't work. Take a break and don't pressure her or yourself. It will happen, when she is ready.

I have four kids and they have all become successfully trained at different ages. The worst thing you can do is push - either by scolding, depriving, or even rewarding. When she equates the physical feeling of having to go with the bathroom, she'll do it on her own. And then, a big hug or high five is all that's needed to make her proud. It WILL happen!

My oldest didn't learn until 3yrs old. I was like you, frustrated, but it eventually happened. He learned in preschool because of the consistency. They took him out of diapers, he went on the hour, and he made many accidents, but he eventually got into a routine and that helped. Don't stress it, she will get it in time. Be consistent EVEN when she doesn't feel like going. Go thru the act every hour or so and see if that works for you. Best of luck.

Well, my daughter actually told me she "didn't need the big girl potty because I can just go in my pants" right before she turned 3. We tried the panties, which she consistently peed in, then I decided to put her in panties with those plastic cover pants like they use over cloth diapers, more to help slow down the mess I had to clean up than thinking it would help the situation. After 2 times of peeing in those pants, she was very willing to go to the potty instead of going in her pants. I think the extreme wetness held in her pants scared her. We still occasionally have problem weeks that she'll go just a tiny bit in her pants before going to the potty, but I'll take that any day over wet pants and carpet! She just doesn't want to stop what she is doing to go potty all the time. Good luck to you, and do know that you're not alone!

Both my cousin's daughter as well as my friend's daughter didn't train until almost 3 1/2!! My friend's daughter is 4 and occasionally has a night accident. Both girls are smart and completely normal! Some people like pullups, some don't. They work for us (my son is almost 3 and doing well but still goes in the pullups a couple times a day). Do you put her on the potty every hour or at least every 2 hours? It has to be consistant. It is hard with a baby and some kids just don't really mind the feeling of a heavy diaper!

Our son was stubbern also all I can say is they do it when they are ready, we didn't force or rush either of our first two and my daughter was daytime at 2.5yrs and just did nighttime at 4.5 yrs. Our some did day and night within months of each at 3.5 yrs. never had to really clean messy pants or have very many accidents and never had/have to do sheets unless they are sick...they seem to sleep harder when they are sick...Can't go wrong with waiting. Of course we encouraged them and did do an award system but we didn't push. So you are not along. give her time You really can't train them you just learn the cues on when they are ready

Mine was 3.5 before she would do it. You can't force it. She did it when she was good and ready and not a moment before. I found that when I was getting anxious about it she was more resistant. So you may want to let it go for a few weeks, then see if you can interest in getting her to do it before bed and first thing in the am and go from there.

When my daughter finally did do it, she did it and that was it. I think she had 2 accidents the first week and that was it. It was literally, "ok today is the day" and that was that.

I wrote a blog post about potty training. I was also published by Mamapedia some time in 2010.
I hope you find if helpful
http://www.ontheballparent.com/blog/?p=146

My last child, who is 4 now didn't potty train until he was around 3 1/2. Around 3 years old I tried, he sat on the toilet the peed first time, well, I was giving him lots of praise, which he doesn't like, got mad and wouldn't do it anymore. I said okay, we'll try again in a few months. I probably waited about 3 more months, I had a three day weekend, so I decided to try again, well, I sat him on the toilet and he went, I said good job in a monotone voice and got him off the toilet. Then I took him in every hour for about 1/2 the day, he would go when he had too. I told him to let me know if he had to go, then he just would tell me and we went in there. I gave him little praise because he doesn't do well with it. My older two are 16 & 14 and I don't remember them that well, I just know my daughter was pretty easy like this, but my mom helped with her. She was younger when we potty-trained, I believe around 2. We got her some really pretty panties and told her not to get them wet. And she didn't, she went on the toilet and let us know when she had to go. Maybe a few accidents, but hardly anything. Now my middle son, well, he's two years younger than my daughter so he just followed his big sis in the bathroom. At that age, he really looked and wanted to be like her. I had problems with him during the night until he was about 4-5 years old. He wet most of the time then. He was good during the day, went into the bathroom when he had to go.

With my youngest, I had a lot of people tell me I should potty train him earlier, however, I waited until he was ready. It was so easy too when we finally did it. He didn't have any accidents, I told him to tell me, and he did. Now, he's 4 but doesn't wipe when he does #2. We are still encouraging it, and ever once in awhile he will but he usually calls me into the bathroom when he does it. I'm okay with it, but I know he needs to start wiping.

Good Luck, don't rush it. I remember wanting all of my kids out of diapers they were so expensive. It will come. The pretty panties for my daughter really worked. I also got her some character ones and told her she didn't want to pee on Barbie, and that helped too.

A friend suggested to me that I should take away whatever toy my son was playing with when he had an accident. You take it away for the rest of the day. That has helped alot!

O.k. I have three boys and it's not always easy. I too have heard of it just clicking and a kid is potty trained in a few days. WOW! I wish it was that easy for all of the little ones. It's a process and an age is a good milestone marker but keep in mind each child has a time when it works for them., I noticed you have a 10month old which at times for some reason an older one will take a bit longer when there's a younger sibling wearing diapers. I don't understand all the deep down reasons of why this seems to happen but it does.

I had my oldest finally get potty trained at 4 yrs old the middle child was 3 and once the oldest did it the 3 yr old was about 6 mos behind him. Keep in mind I still had one more and he was 1 when all that took place. Then the youngest finally got potty trained (get this) he was 2 1/2. Yeah he was the easiest, I think it's had to do with the other two being potty trained he was the only one wearing diapers and he didn't want to do it.

It does get easier and it happens at a different rate for each kid. Keep your patients, be positive and above all don't punish for for not making it to the potty. My experience has been it makes it harder on you and the child.

I used a potty book that flushed when each one of my kids were on the potty, I had books and we would read in fact all of us sat in the bathroom during training time. When my kids keep peeing in underpants, I'd just give them pulls ups wait a week and start again. I'm no expert I just did what I thought would work for my kids. I gave rewards (stickers, m&m's 3 for no wet pants, paper and a crayon for each time they went in the potty) and when they'd pee in their pants they had to put them in a bucket and change there own clothes. I made that easy for boys I did the underpants and a tshirt during potty training for girls I'd make it a dress (easy to lift) and underpants. They say if they have too many clothes to struggle with it makes it too hard.

Make sure you have a potty seat on your toilet that goes over the big seat for (little bottoms) so she's not having to hold on unless you are using a potty chair, mine never did well with the potty chair. The big potty and a toilet seat their size worked better. Also a schedule helps too sometimes at prek's they can wait too long and sometimes they wait for her to tell them and if she's not feeling the urge she won't know.

Sorry to write so much I just wanted to give some suggestions that worked for me and to tell you it's so very different for each child. You can't go by what works for all the other kids and don't be up set with you or her. It's not easy and since it's not the reward is sooo sweet when they finally get it and use the potty. Best of luck and maybe changing somethings up will help her.

Venting is good. Discipline, I know many today hate this practice, but it works. Diapers are expensive. J.

My son starting training at 3. He was trained by 3 1/2 but still not at night. It will happen. Hang in there and as someone said, try not to put too much pressure on her. Good luck!

Maybe try 'Potty Training Solutions' at
http://www.justgreatkidswear.com/OtherFavorites.html. There you'll find interesting articles and advice on potty training along with a variety of books and videos to help parents with the potty training experience. Good luck and hope this helps.

I am SO there! My son didn't want to train until few months after 3rd bday, and then I was trying to find some atypical bribe that would work -- kid is impossible! So he sees Dora pullups in the store -- I say he has to start peeing in the potty to get them, he agrees, we buy them, he starts, and then it doesn't matter that he doesn't wear them???!!!!!

Now it pooping in the potty, or lack thereof, that we're fighting. Again, kid is impossible! He has too much bowel control for his own good! He's afraid he'll fall in, he's afraid to get poop on the seat, he says its too scary, he says its too hard.... I have him in underwear until we get home at night, then into pullup and he'll poop so he can have a shake and/or popcorn. Again, atypical bribes I just happened upon for part of the desired outcome.

I'm starting laxatives tomorrow and wonder if the shock he cannot hold it until he's in his "comfort place" will be too much. ARGH! IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY -- LOVE HIM BUT ARGH!

Good luck with your girl -- maybe you'll happen upon her atypical bribe:)

I had a hard time potty training my son..Eventually I got a musical potty for him and he absolutely loved it, added to that was stickers, hugs and kisses alot of praise and we had our own little potty dance we did when he actually went to potty..I also read to him while he was pottying..He was potty trained in less than 2 weeks..Hope this helps Good Luck! =)

Another little note: as soon as he wakes up take him to potty and every 15 mins to 30 mins after that.. its alot of back and forth but it will be worth it to not have to buy expensive diapers anymore.. =)

Grandma made the months calendar on a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper and mailed it to my twin daughters. Asked Mommy to give them a star for each potty attempt and to call at the end of the day to tell grandma how many stars they got. Worked great. We framed it and did the same the next month and the next. They also had to wait til their 3rd bday to wear their pretty big girl panties, but they could look & play w/them. Naked from waist down for the first couple weeks and if we were to go anywhere which they love to do they had to potty or we stayed home. Before the next place I brought the ptty w/us and same thing...they had to potty or we didn't go in. All seemed to work for us. I'm sure you'll get or already got some great ideas. Good luck and hang in there.

My daughter is 5 now but we had a lot of trouble with her potty training. We started when she was 2 1/2...she didnt have any interest. We waited until she was 3 she had lots of accidents but we just worked through it. My son on the other hand is 3 has no interest in going on the potty at all! I know how you feel! I asked the pediatrican about it he said to completely drop the issue dont talk or say anything about potty training after 2-3 months try it again but start with a different approach. So we have tried not to say anything but it is very difficult because of a lot of kids around him are already potty trained. We are trying and hopefully by summer we can really focus on it. Just stay positive!!!

Remember she is dealing with one of the most stressful events in a little one's life, a baby who shares mom and dad's attention. Every kid regresses when this happens. She sees the attention the baby gets, the baby is not potty trained or pressured to be trained! Instead of trying to be like a big sister she has only a baby as a "role model"
Eventually it WILL happen. Peer pressure at school when al the other children are in underwear! (will take a while)
A lot of experts emphasize that praising success puts pressure on little ones to go again next time, that you should praise the child for SITTING on the potty, not for doing on the potty. Pretend you are not that invested in her using the potty but continue the routine of sitting on the potty.
No pressure. Use diapers. Put away the panties. There is a cute Elmo book where some of the characters are not interested in using the potty and some are. very nice message. In the end he flushes the potty!