Need Some Structure for My 3 Year Old

Are there any teenage or college age students in your area who could watch the girls even a couple mornings a week so that you could focus on your work? I used to babysit for a mom who was also working from the home - she could work w/o interuptions for 2 half days and the children had a great time playing, going to the park, etc - not watching TV!

Good luck - there are no easy answers!

It's so hard to balance all the important things that need to be done in life! While your businesses are very important, your girls are even more important. I think you realize that since you're asking for suggestions. Are you trying to work full-time from home? That for me would be impossible since I also have a 3 and 1 year old. If you can, determine how many hours a week you have to work and then make "business hours" for yourself. You might even need to get a sitter a few hours a day/week in order to get your work done and provide care/structure for your girls. Or can you do any of it in the evening after they go to bed? Maybe you could get someone to come to your home in the afternoon for a few hours...then you only pay for the care of one most of the time because the little one is napping. Here are a few structure ideas. Everyday my kids have separate playtime in the morning. My 1 yr old in a pak n play with some toys and books and my 3 yr old in her room. That lasts about 45 minutes on average. They have learned to be quite proficient at playing alone for a good period of time. We also sit at the table together and do crafts or just coloring for the little one. We play outside and try to go the library every Monday. We also have a story time and "learning" time. My kids play on their own plenty, but never so they are really out of my sight or attention. I'd also opt for a sitter rather than so much tv. Try making a schedule for yourself, work included, and see what your time looks like on paper. Insert the things you want your kids to do. See what you come up with. You really just might need help for a few hours. Do you have any relatives that would watch them? Or maybe you know another mom that you can swap care with? I hope you find a solution and the structure you are looking for.

Hi J.,

I too am a stay home mom with a 10 year old and 13 year old with a home based business. First, it depends what type of home based businesses you have because I have been in a few that did not work because of juggling my schedule. This is the only home based business that has worked well for me - we would need to talk further to explain why. Secondly, you need to say, okay I am working my business between these times and that is it!!!

When I get unbalanced, I go back to my life priority, God first, family then my job. I too, need the income so I must make it work (sometimes we seem to go crazy) that is when you have to say, let me get balanced again.

Make a written schedule and go according to that schedule - it truly works!

I have had many home based businesses. If you want to talk further, my email address is ____@____.com

Good luck!

R.

J.,

You are a good mother to ask for help, so keep that in mind. 4 hours of TV is too much for any child. She is actually old enough for preschool. Even some daycares have preschool. You need to put your foot down and get on them on a schedule. Bedtime should be no later than 8pm for them both. When they get up in the morning I'm sure you prepare breakfast, but put them on a time schedule. Letting them know breakfast will be served at a certain time is setting boundaries, letting them know that its not their way anymore. Lunch should be around noon and dinner around 5-6pm. With a snack in between. Thats the easy part. Now for the hard part. While you're working you can give them books to read, things to color, things to finger paint (they have the kind that only works on certain paper so they don't get it everywhere), the radio is good, and just letting them play in the playroom, or outside (supervised) is good. But too much TV is bad from the start. If this doesn't work, try putting them with daycare for the hours you spend working.
Most of all let them know who Momma is.

I think you are right your children need more structure in their life. I dont think you can do justice to a home based business and full time mother. There are just so many hours in the day. Four hours of cartoons is way too much TV. Can you put your 3 year old (and possibly the younger child in day care a couple of days (or just mornings) a week? That way you could focus on your job at home and the kids could have some good quality learning at a center.

Ok, here is my 2 cents. . .

I am a SAHM with 6 kids - ages 15, 13, 12, 8, 19 months, and 2 months. I have also been trying to supplement my husbands income by selling on various sites. I have been quite successful as of late so that requires more of my time.

I try to do things mostly at night when the kids are in bed but if the youngest 2 happen to nap at the same time (doesn't happen very often) then I also do as much as I can then. I also sometimes have my oldest 2 kids watch the babies for an hour or 2 after school and then compensate them with either a small amount of spending money or by buying them something small that they have been wanting.

It is hard to balance an at home job and young children but you just have to do the best job that you can and remember what your priorities are. Also best to try to stay calm and not get too stressed out if things aren't going as smoothly as you would like. Remember, the work will still be there later if you don't finish it but your kids will only be this age 1 time...

If my 19 month old wakes up from her nap while I am in the middle of packing up items to ship and printing shipping labels, I have her help me. She puts all of the packages in a basket for me and hands me boxes and such. She loves it and it lets me finish what I am doing before the baby wakes up!

HTH!

I would certainly suggest preschool as well... if you are in the Kalamazoo area, I might suggest the Comstock Cooperative preschool. Mrs. Johnson is great... www.comstockpreschool.com