Okay, So I was the mom who let my daughter have a sippy cup at night till she was 2 1/2. I completely regret it now. She is almost 4 now and has nothing but water after her night time brushings. So anyways When she turned 3 we took her to the dentist and they found like 5 cavities she had to be sedated and have like her top 4 teeth capped and one of her bottoms. I felt horrible and have since limited her candy and juice intake. She probably has 2 pieces of candy a week at best, not every week but some and 2-3 cups of juice a day, in a regular cup. I brush diligently in the morning and at night as well as floss at night. So I took her back for her cleaning 3 weeks ago and they found another cavity, they filled it and she screamed and cried so bad. The dentist swears it didn't hurt at all but I have never seen her act that way EVER! So then the the dentist hands me a list of things she can NEVER have because she is "prone" to cavities. This list included ice, fruit snacks, gum, any type of candy, cakes, dried fruit, mints, juice, and soda just to name a few. Some I can agree with but dried fruit? I just don't know what to do at this point. I mean I do the best I can to keep her teeth cleaned and limit what she eats just to go back and look like an idiot when she has more cavities and the worst part is I just don't think I can justify NEVER letting a child have any kind of treats. I mean she starts school this year and what am I supposed to do when she has parties? Tell the teacher my child cant have the snacks and treats that everyone else can have? And to top off my rough time with this a week after I took her to the dentist I think I notice a very small cavity appearing on another tooth. How is this even possible? and why didn't they notice when she was there the week prior. So I guess my question is should I call and have this minor cavity filled even though she is terrified and how do I deal with the dentist and her suggestions that I don't agree with. I am just not a confrontational person and its like I am so anxious to go back because it seems like she talks down to me about it even though I brush and floss for her every day. I just don't understand how I can take everything from her? Shes only 4 for crying out loud and they are gonna fall out. You wouldn't believe how stressed out I am about this situation.
*** I brush her teeth twice a day and floss every night. She never brushes I don't trust she can do it well enough.
*** Juice is with meals, sometimes half water but not always, I actuallly did ask the dentist about the "never" concept and she just frowned at me and said yes I mean never.
I read an article about a study done on juice consumption.
Having 1 cup of juice a day, and it increased the risk for Diabetes, by 18%.
If a kid or anyone/adult has juice... it is always better to dilute it with at least 50% water.
Even when I was pregnant, my OB/GYN, said NO juice. It is just sugar.
Sorry to jump on the bandwagon but I agree 2-3 cups of juice/day is too much. I would try and slowly wean her off of that to 1 cup max, and and some days she may not even need that.
Brushing after meals/snacks is a good suggestion but maybe not realistic, so possibly get some of those gum/tooth wipes that are for babies and see if she'll at least swipe those across after she eats sweet things. I do agree wtih moderation and it's probably unrealistic to say that she can never have the things on the list, especially at school parties like you mentioned, but if you start now it will be easier for her to deal with the changes and it will quickly become routine. Have a talk about "sometimes" foods and how after seeing the dentist you realized that things needed changing. She'll understand, to an extent, and she'll just have to roll with it. Go slow.
You might possibly want to look into other dentists, as others mentioned, b/c ultimately you have to be willing to listen and they have to talk to you an a way that will make you want to listen and respond. I go to a periodontist and a dentist every 3 months and even though they both discuss the same things with me, I like the periodontist and her hygenist much better b/c of their approach. It's all about perspective really. Anyway, I know it will be hard, but hopefully you can get her, and the rest of the house, on the bandwagon!
I know what you're saying, but I've gotta say--your child is drinking WAY too much juice. Does she nurse this juice all day or drink her drinks with meals? She should have milk with meals and water between.
I'm a big proponent of all things in moderation. If she's eating sweets, gummies, dried fruit, considering her history of cavities, I'd brush afterward.
Since you think the dentist talks down to you and maybe missed a cavity I would suggest finding another dentist. I would ask about sealants. I don' think insurance covers sealants but it may be an option to look into. I also agree with you about the parties. You don't want your child to be the only one that can't join in with the other lids. You may need to talk to her teacher though to see if she can have her brush her teeth after treats. Even if she doesn't do a great job doing it herself, it would be better than not doing it at all.
I'll give you my best advice. First, only ONE cup of juice a day, and it should be watered 50/50. Two or three cups of juice a day is too much.
If you are brushing her teeth AFTER breakfast or dinner, and she has had juice, that's even worse...basically, you rub the acid/sugar into the teeth and can cause further damage. Wait at least 30 minutes before brushing, or brush before breakfast (I know this seems silly, but that's what we do, and no cavities yet. My oldest is six.)
You don't have to limit all treats...especially not cake, or sugar free gum. There are a TON of yummy sugar-free flavors...I forget who makes the Dessert Sensations gum (it's new) but they have a mint ice cream flavor that is so yummy and it's sugar free! Also, there are fruity sugar free flavors. Nothing wrong with gum, if it's sugar free.
However, your dentist is right about the gummy snacks, candy (both hard and chewy) and ESPECIALLY dried fruit...it has a TON of sugar, the fruit is super concentrated and super sticky, and that stuff just sits on your teeth. Dehydrated fruit is junk food...not lecturing you, either, because I just polished off almost a whole contained of dried mango slices today! Yum! Ditto on the juice, pop, mints, etc...don't give them to her, unless the juice is watered down and then only a total of about 4 oz a day.
Hawaiian Punch makes an awesome sugar-free water flavoring. You can buy a box with 8 or 10 little packets for a dollar. A DOLLAR! :) Each one will flavor a 32 oz bottle (like, a Gatorade bottle...I buy one, and reuse it about 100 times) if you don't fill it quite up, and it's very yummy. They have all kinds of flavors.
Yes, these teeth will fall out, but likely the teeth she has coming in are going to be just as prone to cavities. However, if you get it under control now (especially the juice and sticky/hard candy, those are the worst) you can set her up for beautiful teeth.
One thing to remember is that the enamel on her baby teeth was probably worn away from going to bed with a sippy, so that's mostly why she has so many cavities now. I only say this because it can be a positive thing...now that you know, you can set her adult teeth up for success.
So many of my friends have children with these problems with their teeth, and they all have the same contributing factors. So I know you can do it from here!
(I'll also add that I didn't take care of my own teeth as a teen/young adult, and I have a mouth full of gold caps. I am so thankful that my front teeth are still white, but I am very good at scaring children into good dental habits by opening wide and showing them all the gold in my mouth. Except those who think it's cool. You can't win 'em all.)
Good luck...you can do it! Good for you for making the changes, and who cares what the dentist thinks...don't let her get you down. Maybe look for a new one. :)
Sorry but that's way too much juice. My kids drink water and milk and only get juice when they serve it at school. Sugar is sugar. And dried fruit is horrible it's a lot of sugar and chewy not any better then junky fruit snacks. What's wrong with getting her into healthier eating habits now? That list really shouldn't effect you or her because candy, cake, juice, fruit snacks, etc should not be part of your every day diet.
2-3 cups of juice a day is WAY too much. In fact, a 3 year old doesn't even need juice every day. I'm not saying this to lecture you, at all. I didn't know much about the effects of juice, until my son's pediatrician educated me. Dried fruit is because it is generally sticky and it sticks to the teeth. I think you should call the dentist (in my opinion, "confrontation" is always easier over the phone.) and specifically ask about treats at school. There shouldn't be too many treats and parties at school, and I would think treats in moderation...even being prone to cavities...would be generally OK. While you're on the phone, ask about the cavity you think might be there. I am pretty prone to cavities and when my dentist said never, she meant almost never. I would just ask for clarity.
I can see how it would be frustrating, but your dentist is trying to prevent a mouthful of cavities. While the teeth might not "fall out," the health of her teeth now greatly affect the health of her teeth in the future.
First off, I would look for another dentist. It is so important to trust and respect your medical professionals and if she is talking down to you or making you feel uncomfortable in anyway I don't think it is a healthy relationship.
As far as the NEVER...I think moderation is a better step, but definitely cut back on the juice. And, maybe you can teach her to at least rinse with water after sweets so all the sugar isn't just sitting on her teeth until the next brushing time.
Just my opinion, but if I were you I would be getting a new dentist -- or at least a second opinion! We just went through this in February. If it's any consolation, I did not give my kids sippy cups at night, they have juice less than once a week and candy only on holidays -- and my 4 year old STILL had six cavities and had to get two crowns when I took him for the first time this winter. I can tell that you understand my horror. I can't figure out why kids' teeth are so bad these days -- my brother and I had WAY more sweets and terrible dental hygiene and I never had a cavity till my twenties. I don't get it, but a crazy dentist who talks down to me and thinks I'm never going to feed my kids carbs is not the answer. Seriously, when I told the dentist how the kids almost never had juice or sweets, he started talking about cutting out breads, grains and starchy vegetables (any carb turns into sugar, he said). He was annoying and condescending before, but that's where he lost me. I mean, really? I'm going to put a 4-year-old on an Atkins diet? Gimme a break! We switched dentists and are very happy (the new guy did the crowns and fillings for my son and was amazing! He was also cheaper!). We may still have problems with cavities, I don't know, but we will not go back to that first dentist again! I don't know what I'd do about taking away the sweets. Right now, we're just working on better dental habits and hoping that our next check up is better news. I would just hope that finding a dentist who would talk to me rationally without condescending would help us find a reasonable middle ground. You're the mom! She has no right to talk down to you! Good luck!
You need a new dentist -- don't pay this person again! My husband once went to a dentist that rgave his dead, not-attached tooth a root canal -- REALLY! They are out there and you can do better for your daughter!:)
My family has gone to Thornton Wellness in Marietta for over 15 years now ###-###-#### and they might be able to recommend someone close to you.
Good luck!
My 4 yr old recently (last 6 months or so) learned how to chew gum and it is her absolute FAVORITE thing. She will chew it (the same peice) for hours! I talked to her dentist about it (we've had no probs with cavities) and his suggestion about sticky high sugar foods is get in the habit of brushing/flossing after you eat it...don't wait until the end of the day. If she eats a peice of candy or cookie after lunch or drinks juice with her meal, before she does anything else, brush her teeth. You don't even have to use toothpaste, just brushing the sugary sticky stuff off the surfaces of her teeth will help. I have even had my kids floss while they are still sitting at the table. Of course when you are home with her it's easier to do this, but even if that means it only gets done half the time, that is something! This is just a little hint to help deal with the "never rule" I know it won't solve all your problems. I have to agree with lots of other posters about the amount of juice, it is a lot (though I don't think uncommon), especially since she is dealing with cavities.
I'd minimize the juice and cut out chewy, sugary foods/snack (including the dried fruits). Can she use a mouthwash?
As others have posted, she may just be prone to cavities and there isn't a dang thing you can do about it.
I'm tired of all this NEVER nonsense when it comes to sugar and junk food. When these children are able to make their own choices about what they put into their mouths, I think they are going to be shoving every piece of candy and junk food they can get their hands on. That's not healthy at all.
Maybe you should get a second opinion?
Some people are more prone to cavities than others.
But that being said, from what I have been taught, one glass of juice a day is the most they should be having. How often is she brushing?
I was the same way as a child. I have 'soft' teeth. EVERY time I went to the dentist I had a cavity. My mom was good about taking us every 6 months too! I have a filling or a crown on just about every tooth. I am so glad I live in an age and a country where we have dentist that can save teeth. I dread to think of how I would look had I been born 100 years ago.
It sounds to me like you need a new dentist. Simply based on the way you feel when this "professional" talks down to you. Find someone who is empathetic to you & your daughter, yet have enough manners to explain the long term affects of eating those items on the list. As well provide pointers/suggestions of what can be done to help strengthen your child's teeth. As the patient, you have the power... It speaks volume when you take your business elsewhere!
Some children are prone to cavities! My son is! My son is also prone to NOT having pure white teeth-like I wish. But I don't either. UGH
I know lots of parents who, due to allergies, must know the day before a party so that they can send in a substitute treat for their child. The children get use to it as will their friends. They won't be picked on for it.
As for the screaming at the dentist? Is she going to a pediatric DDS? I think that makes a difference. However, I also know many folks who need sedation for dental work of any kind. Just continue to be diligent on her dental care and visits. Sometimes switching DDS is still a good thing....
Good luck.
In our area this is (was?) a children only dentist. Maybe you could see if there is one near you. I'd definitely find someone who doesn't talk down to you. I just take my son to our dentist but she is really nice. I just put a little bit of juice with mostly water in my son's drinking cup every day. Otherwise it's milk. We don't even brush every day (I know, I get too tired to enforce it!) and my son is almost 6 and he always gets a good report - just a little tartar in one spot.
I feel your pain, my son has 6 cavities, though his are due to grinding his teeth, we found that MI paste has been helping with the cavity issue. now we are just working on getting a detist to fill them. The MI paste helped them from getting out of hand and it comes in kid friendly flavors so kids dont mind putting it on their teeth. Ask your dentist about it, see if it will help. And just so you know, some kids are just PRONE to cavities because of the bacteria growth and acid levels within their mouths. Its a genetic thing, nothing you can do! Good luck!
