Need Sleep - Roselle,IL

I would highly recommend reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." Unfortunately, I can't remember the author's name (Elizabeth --), but she has a multitude of very helpful suggestions for getting babies and toddlers to sleep through the night. Good luck!

Hi M.,

The only suggestion I have is to change nap time to one long one at about 11:30 or 12:30. By the time my children were that age they only took one nap from 12:30 til about 3p and then to bed at 8:00p. (I have 4 children) You may need to first stretch the time in the morning little-by- little, and he will be cranky and the afternoon nap he may want to sleep long but wake him up, if necessary, so he will still keep bedtime. Good Luck!!!!

Ahhhh...just remember someday you will LOVE that they are strong-minded! Until that day....just want to clarify something, is he exclusively breastfed? My son reached that point where I JUST WANTED MORE SLEEP and he needed to sleep at a longer stretch. I fed him rice cereal mixed with breast milk. My husband gave him that feeding at 9:00 - 9:30 pm (that became THEIR time together. ) The first time we did it...he slept until 5:30 am (8 1/2 hours and yes, I still woke up at 3:00 am to make sure he was breathing!) after that, it became a habit. It looks like his naps are good - just keep trying and make sure you are napping when he is....you don't have to be super-mom - get that sleep when you can, your family needs you. It's hard. I remember those years. They do go fast! Good luck.

Read Dr Jodi Mindell's book "sleeping through the night". It saved us.

I would let your son sit in his room - alone - 20 minutes more each day until you reach 6am wakeup time. If he wakes at 4, leave him there till 4:20 for a couple days, then 4:40, and then 5 am etc till you reach 6.

Until he learns that his fussing won't bring you in until 6 (and his internal clock is reset), have your daughter sleep in your room in a sleeping bag or something. She would probably think its fun!

Do read the book. Trust me. All her methods work.

My son did the same thing until 16 months old. We co-slept and I nursed him all night long starting at 3 months old. He also would always wake between 3:30 and 4 in the morning. Then one night at 16 months I decided to try to get him to sleep in his bed. He fussed for 30 secs. and fell fast asleep, he woke at his usual 3:30 time and I let him fuss again for 30 secs and he fell back to sleep. From that night on I have put him in his bed about 7:30pm awake and he falls asleep without a peep and sleeps until 5-5:30 at which time he is ready to start his day or might fall back to sleep in our bed for another hour.
I think teaching a baby to "self soothe" is a myth. The baby just learns nobody is going to come for them so they stop crying. When a baby is ready they will sleep on their own. I agree it is very frustrating and I was soooo sleep deprived until he slept on his own, but that's what babies are all about. Patience and perserverance.
Good luck--and try not to get too discouraged. Follow your instinct.
K.

Hey, I have 2 books that TOTALLY made a difference for us: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby". THe doctor who wrote it lives in Chicago and you could probably get an apt to see him for specific help. He's really good. The other one might be too young for your child but it is called Baby Wise.

Good luck!

Once a baby is about 4 months, he should be able to sleep through the night without needing to feed. I don't think you have any choice here but to endure maybe 2 or 3 bad nights for the sake of sanity for all for many months/years. If you keep bringing him into your bed and feeding him, he will continue to want that. The first night will be rough - let him wake up and then leave him. He will likely cry but just let him do it for a while. If you must go in and comfort him but do not lift him out of his crib. Give him a stuffed animal to comfort with and say night night, baby needs to sleep. Then stay or leave until he sits down and goes back to sleep. I generally try to avoid cry it out with my daughter but one or two nights of it so that she learned to go back to sleep herself. As the nights go on, it gets better and soon you have a baby who sleeps through the night.

Hi M., our ds has never been a good sleeper. Everyone told us it would get better so we waited, and waited, and waited. At 4months we finally caved to the pressure of letting him "cry it out". BIG MISTAKE! I realize it works for some babies, but it wasn't helpful for us. I was determined to find another way and discovered a book called BABY WHISPERER SOLVES ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. The book has helped so much. Its been a long road but we are finally sleeping through the night (without crying). Our boy goes to sleep without a fuss and wakes up happy. Yeah! Most of the information in the book can also be found on the website... http://www.babywhisperer.com/babywhisperer.html
Hope you find some help there. You can also contact me if you want more specific info on what we went through and how we solved it.

It sounds like he is still taking 3 naps? If so, I would suggest eliminating the 3rd nap, and at 13 months he will be down to one nap very soon. He'll have to go to bed earlier, but that doesn't necessarily mean he'll rise earlier in the A.m. The sleep schedule is always evolving, maybe this will alter is wake up time, you never know.
Also, I'm curious how many days in a row you have not gone in to get him in the early morning. I know you are worried about your 3 1/2 yr old waking up.. but maybe for a 2 week "training" period you could make some creative adjustments-- i.e. play soothing CD is daughter's room to block out noise, put baby in pack n play elswhere to sleep.
This is a tough one, but he will out grow it.

I'm a big fan of letting them cry it out at that age. My daughter also did the same thing and I would retrieve her from the crib and take her to bed with me. Once I decided that was enough, I went in her room and held her for just about 1 minute, then told her it was still sleepy time and put her back in the crib. She cried for nearly one hour the first night, but that did the trick. She now sleeps 12 hours a night.
Try creating white noise with box fans in everyone's room. That will help drown out the crying and hopefully after a couple of early morning "cry it out" sessions your son will understand that it's time to sleep

Just wanted to let you know I went through something similar when my daughter was 12 months. She was down to that one nursing around 4 a.m. (and other times during the day). I'd had enough and wanted to night wean. Even after I stopped nursing her at night (DH helped rock her back to sleep) she continued to wake up around that time for about a month. I had expected her to quit waking in a few days :) But eventually she did. It just took time. Stick to the no nursing and help him settle down quietly, and eventually he should stay asleep since there is nothing exciting (mommy milk!) to look forward to.

I know this dounds counterintuitive, but he needs to go to bed earlier at night. We had the same problem with our daughter and we consulted with Dr. Marc Weissbluth downtown (author of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Now you can have the benefit of the advice we paid $600 for: He told us that our daughter was overtired. We put her to sleep at SIX PM for several weeks and believe it or not, she did not wake earlier. We gradually backed her bedtime up to 6:30 and she stayed there for a long, long time. Now, at 2 yrs, she is still asleep by 7:30. Hope this helps.

oh I have so been there...my advice is go to walmart in spa/health section they have a $12 sound machine, get one for you, one for your daughter and one for the baby....then put a pillow over your head and let the baby learn the oh so importnant skill of soothing one self to sleep!

Have you tried having your child eat a hearty meal an hour or so before bed? We had our daughter eating cereal at 3-4 weeks old and she started sleeping through the night.

C. R

Hi Mehgan,
First of all I know what your going through, I have been through a similar situation with my son. I went to see Dr Marc Weissbluth M.D., he is specialist in this field and he wrote a book called 'healthy sleep habits happy child'.

He helped me to get my son on a good sleeping schedule, it turned out he was overtired from all the lack of sleep and than they wake up too early. also I made my son's room so dark that you cannot see anything, which helped very good as well as it seems he is sensitive to light. (I bought contractor bags at the home depot and some painters tape and just taped off all the windows, looks ugly but he slept an hour longer!)

If you want the book you can have mine, I don't need it anymore and I would be happy to help you and your son get some extra ZZZZ's!

Dr Weissbluths telno is ###-###-#### from the Northwestern Childrens Practice.

Mirjam

Have you tried putting him down earlier to bed? I only have one child and am by no means an expert, but "sleep begets sleep" really seems to work with ds (i.e. the better rested ds is the more he sleeps). When ds was 13 months, he went down at 7:00 and slept to 6:00 with two naps each about 1.5 hours. Now, he is down to one nap and we adjust bedtime based on how long he slept at naptime (2 hours is average) and he usually sleeps through to 6:00. Also, how bright is the bedroom? With summer months, we bought some black out shades to keep his room dark and that seemed to help him make it to 6:00 (he had been waking at 5 or so when he was dropping a nap).

We went through something similar with our fourth child. Our children's bedrooms are close together, and I was always afraid to let the baby cry at night because he might disturb the others. My husband and I finally agreed that we could not continue the way we were going. We decided that we would let the baby cry/settle himself back to sleep even if it disturbed/woke up the other children. In the short term, we knew it would be a rough few nights, but in the long term, the baby would be able to go back to sleep on his own and have more consolidated sleep. After a few nights, which were not actually as bad as I thought, everyone, including mom and dad :), are now happily sleeping through the night.
A book that has helped me a lot is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. My copy is extremely well-loved/well-worn and dog-eared, but I can't tell you how much it has helped me and my family get the sleep we need.

Hi M..

I truly feel for what you are going through. tough to get a days work done with no energy to do it with. My older son didn't like naps. If I forced him to take one then I had a tough time getting him to sleep at bed time. (he's definately a night person)

When I got up with him at night, I kept the lights off letting him know it was still bed time. I didn't engage in conversation or play with him at night. I took care of business and put him back to bed. Also, my mom suggested a spoonful of oatmeal in his night time bottle so he'd have something to stick to his ribs at night and make him sleep longer. My son was sleeping through the night at 3 months after we started the oatmeal.

Try putting him to bed later, say 8:30 or 9:00pm. If he is quiet and doing fine staying up why not? My boys never went to bed before 9:00 because there was too much activity in our house. Whatever you decide be consistent. Take turns with your husband putting him to bed. One night let him put the baby to bed so you can go to bed early and the next night let him go to bed early, at least until you get a little more caught up on the sleep. Good Luck!
Sue

Hi M.,
Before I had kids, my sleep patterns were perfect. But now that I work and have two kids(ages 3 and 5), it's hard to get the much needed sleep. I didn't realize how sleep deprived I was until I got into a car accident this winter and as a result had all kinds of car problems (still do). Studies show that sleep deprivation is the same as being legally drunk. I took ambien once a week for about 20 weeks, it worked, but I didn't like the side effects and I didn't want to become dependent on it.
Here are a few things you can try: give the baby a warm bubbly bath, make sure he plays alot during the day (tire him a little), read him a bed time story (start 30-60 min. ahead), use Johnson &Johnson Lavender-Chamomile for bath, try formula (optional), classical music by Baby Einstein, try to find a tv program he likes, sing to him, also try to put him to sleep late (9-11pm). Lastly, I've learned that certain massages help sleep disorders and sinus problems. So if I can fit it into my budget, I will once a month or every other month try to get one. Something will work, just pray and be patient, it will get better. My sleep is gradually getting better. Hang in there!

Peace,
D.

That sounds alot like my son! I would strongly encourage you to try to solve this now or you will still be dealing with it a year from now! I would eliminate a nap and try putting him to bed an hour later. As heart wrenching as it is you really have to let them cry it out. Warning, with my son it took about two weeks of crying for almost an hour every night. After that 2 weeks we never had another problem and he has slept thru the night ever since. (He is now 8) If you get a chance take a nap today! Good Luck!

Hi Megan,
I have a 11 month old and read numerous books on sleep. I have read most of your responses. I would recommend Dr. Marc Weissbluth book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Your child needs to be in bed earlier. More towards 6:30/7:00 the latest. He is overtired. Move his sleep time up by 15-20 minutes every 3-4 days until you are at 6:30/7:00. Also BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR SLEEP DISCIPLE. I have let my daughter cry it out and it does work. For us it was only 2 days.
D.

When my daughter who is now 7 would do that, I changed her bedtime routine. I started putting her to bed about 1 hour later. During that extra hour we allowed her to play physically, running around, jumping etc. Then came her bath and the usual story or music routine. This worked and about after a month of the one hour workouts she wanted to sleep even longer. Good luck.

My daughter now 6 is and has always been a horrible sleeper. My son is 4 and has to have his room COMPLETELY dark in order to sleep later in the morning fall asleep at a decent time at night, and sleep through the night. I realized that the street light was waking him up. As far as my daughter is concerned she never napped much, even as an infant and does not require a lot of sleep. Once I realized this, I could adjust her sleeping schedule. She would also wake up in the middle of the night and cry. If you didn't go to her she'd just scream and scream-never letting up, the screaming just got worse and wouldn't stop. My pediatrician and everyone else just said let her scream. I told my pediatrician I thought we should see a sleep doctor when she was 2. She dismissed me by saying "your insurance won't cover it, and those doctors are pricey." Well now at age 6, she JUST started sleeping through the night. I wish I would have done more research earlier to figure out what I could do to help her. If I would have realized earlier that she really didn't need a nap, I could have put her to sleep earlier. She would also not sleep well in a crib, but would in a bed-it was softer. She is also very hot- I always had her in warm zip up pajamas with feet and she was probably too hot and that was maybe waking her up. Try and think out of the box to figure out why he might be waking up.
I will add that my daughter has sensory processing dysfunction as well as my son, and that sleep is a common problem for kids who have this. If I would have understood all of this sooner, I might have gotten all of this figured out before age 6, and I would have gotten much more sleep myself. My advice is trust your instinct, if you've tried cutting naps down or changing bedtimes, or making sure something in his room is not waking him up, start reading about sleep (if you haven't already) and be open to the possibility that there might be something else going on.
Hang in there and good luck
A.

Thank you for asking the question. I am currently dealing with a similar situation. My 8 month slept through the night until last month. Never much of a napper, but at least I had the night... My 1st was never like this. Well, got to go get the angel who has just completed her 1/2 hour morning nap.:}Thanks.

Have you tried cutting out a morning nap, and transitioning to 1 afternoon nap? Try to keep him busy until after lunch, and see if he goes down after, for 2-3 hours. That way he will feel refreshed for the late afternoon and then tired again around 7:30-8 pm. Books and a nice bath help too. I still rock my daughter to sleep every night and she is 16months (almost 17 mo.) there is nothing wrong with soothing them to sleep--I have other Mamasource Moms to thank for that advice, because like you I had sleeping issues for awhile there. The Moms here are great!
Best of luck--R.

Been there. By this age my daughter and son [now ages 16 and 12]were only taking afternoon naps of only 1 1/2 hours. [I purposely woke them up.] Bedtime was 7:30pm and they slept until 7 to 8am. So, try taking away the morning nap and just let him continue to play or use that time for quality time with you and him. My kids took their one nap after lunch at 1pm and for 1 1/2 hours until the age of two, then no naps because it got to where I was up until 2am with them. Continue the after naps of only 1 12 hours. Go ahead and wake him up after that time. Not all kids need the same amount of sleep, just like adults. Remember My mom said that by the age of one I took no naps because just a five minute nap would keep me going for 8-10 hours. Remeber your son's internally clock is all turned around to be patient. It may take a couple of days or so for so for his internally clock to change around. I know they say mothers need their rest during the day, but if you are not getting your sleep at night, how can one function during the day. GOOD LUCK!

Call the miracle worker, Dr Weissbluth, at ###-###-####. If you follow what he says, you will all be sleeping heavenly within 48 hours. My daughter is 19 moths and sleeps 13 hours non-stop every night, plus a two hour nap every day. She slept even more when she was younger thanks to Dr Weissbluth. And by the way, she is happy, healthy, advanced for her age developmentally...

I know how u feel. My son didn't sleep thru the night until he was almost 11 mo. old. When I started to feel groggy driving even on short trips....I knew it was time for something to change. Thank God it did. But back to you :)

I know you have tried EVERYTHING so all I can give is suggestions that you can try to add to your kids sleeping routine. We have bought a Homedics Sound Spa machine thingy that has worked wonders. We live in a small house so we just plug the thing into the hallway outlet and the "white noise" reaches my 2 kids room plus ours at night. GREAT way to keep noise covered up at night. During my sons nap, we put it in his room and it dulls all the activity in other parts of the house-me cooking, tv, my daughter playing. I would suggest that you buy one for both of your kids rooms. They were like $20 at Linens and Things before the 20% off coupon that comes in the paper. Maybe you can turn her sound machine volume up and close her door in the middle of the night as soon as you hear him starting to fuss.
As for him....I hated letting him cry it out. I just despised it. But, my Dr. told me that was the only way he was going to learn. She told me it's learned behavior. Well, we let him fuss more and more little by little and he did learn!! I also would suggest that you get his ears checked. I believe with all my heart that my son had ear infections with no symptoms (other than waking up constantly). He is 1 1/2 yrs old and has had about 5 of them so far. So, I think his ears just may have been sensitive. Either way....I think if you try different approaches to let him fuss it out then he will probably learn that he's not going to get his way.
Hope that helps.

Your son has trained you to get up that early with him. I think it's time to try some sleep training. Look into Weissbluth and Ferber. It works. It's tough the first 3-4 nights, but ultimately pays off. 3:30 or 4:30 is simply too early to start the day. That's the middle of the night. Your son will learn to sleep later. He needs it.