Need Shoulder to Cry On

I am not a mom to a newborn, rather I have a 19 month old girl who still has issues sleeping throught the night sometimes. She also was a horrible sleeper in the beginning. We had better success with a side to side swing and when I finally invested in a baby sling. I have a small group of moms that I hang out with that help me keep my sanity and one is about to have her 2nd baby. We are always looking for more moms to hang out with if you ever want to meet up. Getting out of the house helps a lot too!
Good Luck and let me know if I can help,
A.

Hey B.-

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I have to tell you, I totally felt the same way for the first few weeks of my sons (now 4 months) life. I was so anxious when it was coming time to go to bed...Every night around 7 I would feel sick and start crying for no apparent reason. A friend of mine told me that it was normal (which it is) and she told me that by the time I had him about a month, it would feel like we'd never been without him and it was true. After those first few weeks it became more normal and I started feeling less anxious and it was SO different. So keep going...it does get better and you can do it!

Some things that helped us with his sleep were swaddling REALLY tight and getting him a white noise machine. The machine is like $20 at Bed Bath and Beyond. It works wonders. A great book (or DVD if you don't have the time to read it) is The Happiest Baby on the Block. It really helped us a lot. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or need to talk! You're doing great....it will get better!!! Good luck!

B.,

Count your blessings! If you can get 2-3 hours, you're one of the lucky ones! My first born was a non sleeper, and never slept more than an hour or so at a time. So, believe it or not, you will get used to the lack of sleep. Your baby's sleeping pattern is completely normal! Remember, their stomachs are very small so they can't hold alot of food. That's why they need to eat so frequently. This is a new world for them and they need time to adjust. Also, babies love to be swadled in their blankets, nice and tight. It makes them feeled secure. Mine also loved the sound of the vacum cleaner. It became a permanent fixure and worked like magic when he was fussy. So hang in there. Your feelings are normal for a new mom. You and your daughter will both adjust. Often, by 2 months, babies have found their pattern and life becomes more "normal". Hope this helps!

Oh B.! I feel your pain! My son is 5 1/2 months old and boy was it tough for us in th beginning. It's funny - when I first brought him home, I wondered how he would make it through the night alive without the support of the hospital. Then once I realized he would make it, I was TOTALLY anxious at bedtime and always worried about him waking up! But we did a few things that seemed to save us. We got an Amby Baby which helped him sleep longer. He slept about 4-5 hours at a stretch in it at night. He's still not a great sleeper unless he's in the swing, but the Amby helped me get a little more sleep. You can get them used on Craigslist or eBay for about $150-175. We also got a yoga ball to bounce him on when he went through his fussy period (for about 3-4 weeks from 6-10 at night). It was easy to distract him when we bounced him and sang to him or let him watch TV. It was a little sanity in our night! The bouncing also helped with his digestion to get the burps out. You can get that at Target for about $12. The last lifesaver was the side-to-side swing. He can sleep 2-3 hours in it at a time for naps, which was HUGE. I was able to nap or get things done (like make dinner!). You can get that used on Craigslist for $30-40.

Although I have no magic pill to make him sleep longer, you can try to make it as conducive as possible for him to. Unfortunately, it's all by way of buying "stuff", but I truly believe that's how I survived. And trust me when I say, you will look back on this time and wonder how it went so fast. Try to enjoy when she wakes you up and you can cradle and rock and bounce her, no matter how tired you are. Waking up over and over again sucks, I know, but soon they will be too old for it and you will wonder where the time went. Hopefully all the responses you get will let you know that how you feel is TOTALLY normal. We all felt that way and had a pretty huge down after the emotional and physical high of having the baby wore off. So trust us when we say, it will get better and easier. You just find different ways to cope that work for you.

Good luck and please post up how things are going.
T.

It gets better - trust me. Its really hard at first due to the lack of sleep and all of the emotional stuff being a first time mom (ie: am I doing it right, etc.). Just power through it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though it may not feel like it now. Try not to stress or it will make you feel worse. I know its easier said than done, but try to be calm and keep your sense of humor.

As you can see your not alone! That's the good news! Somewhere around the two or three month age you will start to feel better, maybe even sooner. Your hormones are not back to normal yet, the baby needs to eat every two to 3 hours, your over tired, housework, stress of being a new mom, the VERY STRONG emotional impact of being a new mom. It all adds up. My husband tired to tell me this when I had my first and my second, but I brushed it off. Once I got out of that stage I could see he was right. We as mom's are so hard on our selves! My second one really taught me to lay down and rest even if I couldn't sleep. It does make a huge difference!!! YOU NEED IT!! Finally I have gotten use to taken a nap at 2 every day when I put both my kids in "Quite Time" One hour. They fall asleep and I usually get 2 hours of quite. So see you have something to look forward to :). It does get better, but really take some time for your self!!! You husband takes lunch breaks at work right? Take one too! The Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book as other's have mentioned. It talks about the REALLY TIGHT swaddling that works really well. However she is still going to eat every two - 3 hours for a while. Does your hospital have a new mom's nursing group? That's always helpful for new moms to hear other new moms. I know a place in Largo if you live in that area that has a New Mom's group, go to www.mylittleplaytown.com. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BABY GIRL!! Putting the lack of sleep aside, isn't it the best thing you could have ever done!! THEY ARE TRULY A BLESSING!!

I agree with you. I had 2 children wayy to close together. My husband and I are going to try and get a military retreat away so we can destress!! :) swaddling always worked for my kids, and rocking. They eventually habit your sleep patterns. My kids both sleep like 12 hours through the night now! it will get better beleive me,

Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle. Babies feel secure when they cannot flail their arms about. Whisper in babies ear soothing words of love and sleep every minute you get the opportunity.
Remember your hormones are screwed up at the moment and tears are perfectly ok for you. Congratulations on the new baby-time passes so quickly and she will be sleeping longer periods of time soon. My new granddaughter slept all night at six weeks, so chin up, maybe this will happen for you. Remember to enjoy the time and say to yourself " I get to do this"
instead of "I have to" with her. Attitude is important.
I also believe the "plug or binky" is almost a necessity if she will take it. Try to relax because she can sense when you are upset. hope this helps. This comes from grandma to 14 and new grandbaby in my home ~J.

B.,

I am not a mother of a newborn, my daughter is 16 months old but I can still sympathize with you. Right now I have a cold and of course rule of thumb everytime I am sick she wakes up and kept me up from 2:30-5:00 this morning. Sometimes just knowing that someone else is going through the same thing helps.
I remember when I came home with my daughter I was so scared to breath for fear I couldn't hear her breathing. I would get mad at anyone who made a noise when I tried to catch up on my sleep or would wake her up. Lack of sleep will cause a lot of different emotions. There will be times when you just start to cry because all you want is some sleep. I took everyone's advice and slept when she slept and it made me feel worse because it was just an hour here and there. Taylor was every 3 hours like clockwork. So I would just pick out a mid afternoon time that she would sleep and make that my nap time. You have to (I know this is hard) let yourself shut everything off and get some sleep. Don't think about everything that needs to be cleaned or everything that you have to do. All that can wait for you to get sometime for yourself.
I know I am not a mother of a newborn but we have all been there and everyone can help you through this. I have gotten some great advice and tips from the other mommies and I know you will too. Let me know if you have any questions or like you said just want to chat!! Talking helps also!

R. J

sounds like you need a few hours to your self. Being a new mommy is overwhelming! It does get easier I promise. Do you have someone that would be willing to take your dear heart for a few hours and let you rest? I found that it was helpful to have this done once a week, it gives you time to unwind and get a little needed sleep, helps you refresh to be what you need to be for your daughter. Best of luck with these next few weeks, but remember it is so worth it!

hi B.,
You are not alone. My baby girl is 9wks old. I feel the exact same way. You brought me to tears because that is how my life has been for the last 9 weeks. My baby went through a 3 week period of only sleeping an hour at a time, I was a basket-case. I have spent so many nights sitting up right on the couch with the baby in my arms.

My mom, my sisters and my best friend tell me to sleep when the baby sleeps, but I can't shut off either. It is hard, but you have to sleep. I know, you feel like the laundry needs to be done and the dishes are sitting in the sink.

But, last night I starting getting a sore throat (my sister is sick) so it hit me that I can't get sick - I needed to get sleep so I'm well. So I only woke up when the baby woke up at 4am, 8am, 10am and 2pm (she has colic, it took me from 7pm to 1am to get her to sleep). The dinner dishes were still all over the kitchen and my laundry was still piling up - I didn't feel guilty. I actually feel rested today.

Do you have family nearby to help you? Take all the help you can. It is so hard having a baby, I know I needed and still need support from my family.

I'll tell you what my friends tell me, Keep Your Chin Up, It will Get Better....
E. C

One of the best peices "reality" someone gave me early on is to not expect a good nights sleep until your baby turns about 2. They were right! It gets better... Just hang in there Mom! Youre doing great!

Hello. I am brand-new to motherhood, too. My son was born 7/29/07. My son feeds every two to three hours as well and each "session" lasts about an hour. I talked to my pediatrician at his two week appointment. She indicated that I should make sure that I feed him as much as he would like each time so that his little belly is full. We went from feedings of 1-2 ounces of formula to 4 ounces for the last 1-2 days.
My mornings are the worst because I am exhausted. By afternoon, I have some energy. In the evening, unfortunately, I can't always fall asleep as quickly as my son. I keep wondering how long this phase lasts!
Good luck to you.

I hear ya... my son just turned three months and has never slept more than three hours at a time, most of the time only two. His daytime naps are 20 mins long and he nurses 11 times a day for an hour each time. This week is my first week back to work full-time, so I'm pumping like a maniac. People ask me how I keep going each day on three hours sleep, I don't know... I guess after awhile you just adapt. I know for me in the early days, I would just camp on the couch with the baby asleep in my arms on top of the Boppy. With him so close, he never really "woke up" but instead just stirred occaissionally when he wanted to bf. It was alot easier for me, not to wake up to crying in the middle of the night. Granted it's probably not a "safe" way to sleep with the baby, but it felt more comfortable to me than having him in the bed like other people might suggest.

Hi B.,

I have a 5 week old baby girl, she is my 2nd but first off I just want to say, what you are going through is 100% totally normal and not a reflection of your coping ability.

It is hard!! It is wonderful- but it is still hard.

Feel free to message me with your email and we can talk. Im kinda going through the same thing but have learnt some valuable coping skills from my first.

Chin up.... deep breathes - it does get easier!!!!!

F.

Hello B.,
Congratulations on your baby girl!! You have a best friend for life! You are very lucky to get 2-3hrs stretches. My daughter at 8 days ate at every hour for 45-55 minutes nursing (eating for few minutes and falling asleep on my boob) It felt like never ending cycle. Things will get better, you will see. I had an emergency C-section so we had a bassinet in our king size bed between my husband and I. Once she started sucking her hands, (way before she started crying) I just scooped her out to my side and fed her without turning any lights on (just a little night light) My husband would change her diaper (if needed) and even it felt like I was feeding her every hour I felt like I was the most rested mother ever. It was and still is extremelly challening learning experience. I was just pretending to know what I was doing. I wish I had the knowledge what I know now, to know when I had my baby (six months ago) I understand that is very hard but hang in there. Enjoy every single minute of it, they do grow too fast. Just think of all the women out there that can only dream about being a Mom. Please get a swing (with a plug) for the during the days, it's a life savier. I hug my friend so hard who gave me the swing, every single time I see her. E-mail me if you like to talk or meet up ____@____.com