Need Potty Training Tips.

I got my daughter who is almost 3 the Elmo potty time video when we potty trained her and played it a lot to get her used to the idea. We had a lot of ups and downs with the potty training, I started too early with her (18 months) and she wasn't quite ready. I had just had my second at that time though and really wanted only one in diapers. I waited two more months and we talked about the potty a lot, read books, and I let her sit on it when she wanted to. When we tried it again two months later it took a week. I recommend no pullups at home because it gets too comfortable for them to go in it anyway. We also did a sticker chart, she loves stickers. If she went in the potty she got a sticker, when she got five stickers she got an ice cream cone (I let her pick the treat when we made the chart). The next chart required more stickers for a prize and within 3 days she was not asking for stickers anymore. Good luck!
There are so many methods I hope you find which one works best for you.

Hey there,
This might seem at little strange, but I went to walmart and bought potty training panties and the plastic panties to go over them. I stayed at home all the time until she was trained. Forget pullups. They are too expensive and they still allow the child to have the concept that they are wearing a diaper. Cassie wet herself in the panties and she knew she was wet, and she did not like it. It took at little bit of time but now she hardly never has an accident. It is a pain to constantly wash the panties, but I had to.
I hope this hepls, A.

I was in the same boat as you 5 years ago. We talked about it and I bought her princess panties, put them in her drawer but she couldn't wear if she wasn't using the potty. We had a few trys and accidents but a week after her 3rd birthday she put them on and that was that.

I got 5 months diaper free before my second one came along. She pretty much did the same thing.
Good luck!

that's hard... especially with the new baby coming. I understand your desire to not have two in diapers, but it may be even harder to get her motivated with such a big change coming in her life. Do you already have a potty? My started at about 2 1/2 with just sitting and going on it right before bath time. It was closer to 3 y.o. before she really got motivated to want to do more. I'd start with getting a potty, making it fun to sit there sometimes. Once she's got the mechanics of it down, you can try to get more serious, buy some panties... etc...

This is tough. My daughter is 19 months and I am 18 weeks pregnant. I am sort of in the same boat. I have been taking my daughter to the potty first thing in the morning and try to bring her at every diaper change. I used to ask her if she wanted to go to the potty, but sometimes she would say no. Now, I just sing to her, carry her to the potty (on the toilet) and bring a book. i sit down next to her and we read and read and read and play while she is on the potty. is there something your daughter likes to do when she is playing that you can bring into the bathroom to use while she is on the toilet?

I have a daughter who just turned three in December and her potty training is going well. We had a set-back last December when her brother was born and it seemed I would never get back to the point where we left off. She was independent in going by herself and telling me when she needed to go. All that became a mystery to her when he came along, but we are now back to where she is doing great.

To help get us motivated I rented a potty training video from the library and played that everyday (which is a 30 minute video) along with putting her potty right beside her while she watched. Believe it or not she was looking forward to watching that video and started requesting that she use her potty to pee pee. I was thrilled because I didn't make a big deal about the potty subject with her I just let her let me know when she felt comfortable in using her potty. I then went to the store and bought her plenty of "big girl" panties and every morning when she woke up I let her pick out the panty she wanted to wear. That helped and then she would go around and ask what color panties I wore and she would change her panty to match the color of mine. (I thought that was sweet). I also let her pick out the kind of pull-ups she wanted and she only wears those at night (for now). I have to get my mind wrapped around that I will soon put her in panties only when she goes to bed at night. Wish me luck on that.

She goes to preschool that requests that children her age at least be potty trained and I have her wear her panties to school and the teacher said she was doing great in going by herself. Now if I could just get her to poop in the potty we would have it made. She has pooped twice now and this just started yesterday. She insists every time she has to poop she has to wear her pull-ups. I keep her pull-ups out of sight when we are in the den so she doesn't have easy access to those and I encourage her to sit on the potty as long as it takes to poop. I tell her stories while she is sitting or read her favorite book. That seems to work really well.

Sorry about the long response. I hope that this has helped you in some way. Not all children are the same about potty training. It's going to take time. patience, encouragement, and a lot of discipline (especially when you think you are getting nowhere) and love ahd it all will fall into place. Let your daughter feel that she gets to make some "big girl" choices in choosing her panties and/or pull-ups and that will help her feel that it's okay to move forward.

Best of luck and wishes to your potty training and to your soon-to-be addition to the family. You will do just fine! Believe that you can do it and that both of you are on the same team working towards the same goal! What an accomplishment it will be when she one day will say to you that she needs to go to the potty (and all by herself)!

April

C. -
I too have a 2 1/2 year old little girl, and the thing that seems to be motivating her (this is her 2nd attempt at potty training...) is peer pressure. :) She goes to school two mornings a week, and seeing the other kids 'go potty' makes her want to as well. Does your little angel have a chance to be around other kids her age - at school, church, MOPS or somesuch? Another thing that seems to help is seeing me in my panties from time to time and I tell her how wonderful it is to be clean and dry and get to wear flowers on my bottom. (I hope that wasn't too much info...)
Good luck!
-M.

Hi C.,

I have two daughters now 7 and 11 yrs old. When I trained the first daughter, I made a big deal about going to the potty. I would give her something to drink, wait about 20 minutes then tell her excitedly, "It's time to go potty!" I would sing a made up potty song on the way to the bathroom. When we got there, usually within about 5 minutes she went. I made a big deal every time she was successful. Which was very often. I had her fully trained within 2 weeks. This same technique worked for my younger daughter but took longer mostly due to me not being as diligent. I think the key is everytime she drinks wait 15 to 20 minutes (or pay attention to how long it takes her to feel the urge so that you can time it just right.)

It will work out.

T.
L'ville

I totally get it! So the question is "how to get her interested", eh? Does she have any playmates who are potty training? I don't know if it's peer pressure or "keeping up with the Joneses" or what but that is what would work best with my daughter to get her interested. That and I told her she couldn't go to preschool unless she was potty-trained by her third birthday -- that was a big one! Other than that, talk about going potty and who in your lives goes on the potty (mom goes on the potty, daddy, grandma, Billy's mommy, the mailman...), videos, charts, treats for going potty, and perseverance. Good luck!!!

I will tell you what worked for me. My daughter needed to be "motivated" to want to do it. She wasn't into stickers or M&M's. So I bought a big Ariel doll (she loves the princesses) and put it on a shelf in our kitchen with a piece of paper attached to it. I but 5 big boxes on the paper and told her when she got a check mark for each box, she could have the Ariel. That was all it took. I felt so defeated as I had tried for about 3 months prior to get her trained. She was so into getting that Ariel doll and stayed dry.

Good luck, it is a hard thing to do. The kids really have to WANT to do it!

I had the same problem with my daughter. I tried everything I could think of, and I read in the Parent Magazine where a mother used a little jar of M&M's. Everytime her child would use the potty she would reward them with an M&M or two. I tried it, it worked for a little while. So I finally found something that she would use the potty for. I had a piggy bank at home and at her daycare, so when she would go to the potty like a big girl, she would be rewarded with coins. I always had to make sure she knew she was being a big girl. Do not push her, she will eventually want to just use the potty.

Hello there.. I let my daughter pick out her "pretty girl panties" at the store. They were Dora of course and she loved them. That seemed to help her want to get ready faster. She felt that she was more like momma getting to wear pretty panties. I hope this helps..

I understand your frustration,but also know that they will retreat back to it and it can cause anxiety if you push them. My daughter ask to go potty the first time when she was 14 months old. I had no major problems, but then just about the time she turned 3 the bed wetting started and I was told it was nervousness, because I knew she was not drinking right before bed. So even though this is a touch touch topic, I would not push her. I am a 44 year old mother of a 4 year old.

I have two children, a boy age 14 and a girl age 2.5. Both were out of diapers before they turned two. both were done bedwetting by 2+ a few months. My trick? Nothing. Just use cloth diapers. When they are wet they will take them off when they are walking age about a year. then, when they start to anticipate peeing because they are now aware of what it is to be wet they will take them off before they wet. Yes, we have cleaned up several puddles for a few weeks. By the time they are 18 months they are pros at saying "have to potty' and if you provide them with a potty their size and keep them bare buns while at home, they will use it! When we go out we use a cloth diaper pull up in case we can't always make it to the potty fast enough. We are out of those before we turn two and into regular panties and an open conversation about if we need to poop or pee and if we can hold it for a few minutes while in the checkout line or if we need to hurry. We used the cloth diaper pull ups for night time and put a wool soaker blanket to protect the bed. My daughter is 2.5 in March and she has been accident free for over a month. She pees before bedtime and wakes me up if she should need to pee at night. She gets up at night about two to three times a week to pee. But, she goes right back to sleep. So, just take the diaper off. See what happens.

I have five children under age 10. My oldest (boy) potty trained around age two. I was pregnant with my second child. Potty training the first was a huge hassle because I was trying so hard. With my second, I let him just take it at his own speed. He wasn't fully potty trained until age four. It was so much easier to change diapers (while pregnant with number three) than to deal with potty training. He eventually did it by himself and it was no big deal. Now that he's in third grade, I really don't care how old he was when he learned. I say don't stress about it and let her go her own pace. I had three in diapers at once. It's easier to quickly change a diaper than to sit near the bathroom and wait for a potty training child to finish or to have to keep helping them wipe, etc.

Don't sweat it Mom. Encourage but don't make it a big deal. It is often about control. I was a wreck trying to force my daughter and washed all bedding daily, no matter what I tried. She was 6 when it ended. I thought I was a bad mom, not so. My son wasn't interested until he was 3, then he was trained in 3 days!! It was WAY less stress w/my son. Forget what others think. My kids are brilliant, well adjusted 40/38 yr olds! :)

We used a sticker chart for my son. He needed to see his progress. When he got 10 stickers we would give him a special treat. This encouraged him to go so he could get the stickers faster plus he was getting a mini reward with the sticker everytime he went. I would suggest a cupcake for snack if she doesn't get them often or a small dollar store toy. Just something that she doesn't get often might work since this will make going potty seem even more like a big thing. If she gets this concept it may help and give her a reason to want to go potty. Also, try to plan a week where you don't have to leave the house and try letting her go around with just a dress on (no diaper or underwear). This will give her easy access. A lot of kids don't like to deal with having to pull thier pants down to go. Some even like to sit on it competely naked! Also praise every little thing she does on the potty. Even if she just sits and doesn't do anything say something like "That was a good try! We will try agian in a little bit!". Say it with lots of excitement in you voice so she knows you like that she is trying. Just don't ever scold her. If she has a accident just say "Oh, well, we will clean it up and next time you can go potty." Say it like it is no big deal and go on about your day. When she does go let her know how proud you are of her and that she is big girl. Also, if she has a friend who is potty trained let her see them going potty and ask her if she wants to be a big girl like so and so. Often seeing others go and get praised and rewarded for going encourages a child to go. I taught 2 and 3 year preschool for 4 years and these were all things that we used and the parents used. I hope they help!

Hi, C.!

I can only tell you about the amazing experience I had with my 2-1/2 year old daughter, and see if it helps you.

Because my daughter has a mild form of spina bifida, we did
not know whether or not she would ever be ABLE to be continent. Therefore, I made absolutely NO "big deal" about potty-training. The full extent of my "training" consisted of: buying two potty-chairs, and putting one at each end of the house (when she was around age 2); buying the video,
"Once Upon a Potty", and sitting on the floor and watching it together from time to time; and allowing her to watch me use
the toilet. (Also, if older girls came over, I'd ask them and their Moms if it was OK for my daughter to watch them use the toilet. It always was.) There was absolutely NO pressure. I felt as if my precious girl had far, far more than her share of obstacles to overcome; I wasn't about to make her feel like a failure, if she was unable (as opposed to unwilling) to use the potty.

What happened was this: a dear friend of mine had come to Charleston, from Atlanta, for the weekend. She bought cookie dough and cookie cutters and taught my daughter her to roll out dough, and decorate cookies -- which THRILLED my daughter
to no end. It was an entirely new experience for her. I think she felt very proud to have learned to do something
new, and without any assistance from Mama. That was on a Sunday afternoon. Soon after, we drove my friend to the airport. When we arrived home, my daughter said, "OK. Now
I use potty." I said, "Whatever." (No big deal, remember?)
I was folding clothes, and a few minutes later she walked into the room, holding the little "bucket" that collects the urine in a potty chair. It was half-full. She looked up at me with a look so filled with love, handed me the bucket, and said the BEST thing she could possibly think of to say:
"Happy Birthday, Mama!!" I'll never forget it... She was so proud, and happy, as well she should have been: this
achievement was ENTIRELY her own!! Together, we went to
the "big potty", and I let her pour in the uring from the
"bucket"; then we said, "Bye-bye, pee-pee!" (just like on the video.)

She brought me her bucket each time, for the next 8 or 10 times -- always with her loving, "Happy Birthday, Mama!"
Then, it just became her own thing.

To make the story even better: this child NEVER ONCE had an "accident" -- "pee" OR "poo" -- during the daytime,
OR at night!!! Not once. I truly was astounded, and so
proud of her. But it was entirely HER accomplishment -- not mine, at all.

What do you think of this approach, C.?

Kathy D.

(She almost 13 years old, now. It's still one of my favorite memories from her toddler-hood!)

I wouldn't push it. My son did the same thing. Every few weeks I'd put him in underwear for a day or two and see if he was interested in using the potty. Sometimes I ended up changing his pants several times before 10am. I knew then that if wasn't disgusted by what's running down his legs, then there really isn't any motivating him on my part. He is quite strong willed, and I didn't want the potty to become a power struggle. We tried the typical ideas-- candy (which he almost never gets), videos and books on using the potty, stickers and tons of praise-- but nothing seemed to motivate him until he was ready. I had him and my newborn twins in diapers at the same time. It really was doable. Eventually, he decided it was time (at 3) and potty trained in 2-3 days. Good luck!

you can try reward charts etc but if she is not talking about, showing interest, etc. then dont push her. she will potty train. honestly i tried with my daughter when she was a little over two and figured out very fast that she didnt want to have anything to do with it. but when she was about 30 months she just clicked and told me that she wanted to use the potty. she never looked back and has been training since. I know that you would like her to train before your other one is here but dont push. my son was turning two a little before my daughter was born and so i tried....i figured out fast that bending over to pull pants off 7 months pregnant was not so fun. i would tell you to see if she want to try within the next month or so and if not dont push her.

Hello C.!

Not to discourage you, but my little girl didn't potty train until nearly 3 1/2 years old. We had a baby when she was 2 1/2 and wanted her to potty train before the new baby came too. The ped said that it would happen when she got ready and it did. One day she woke up and aid mommy I want to wear panties, and she has been ever since. No accidents or bed wetting. I feel that the wait was worth it considering that we didn't have to get up in the middle of the night and change sheets. I have trained my neice who is now 3 and she was able to be bought with treats. Every time she went to the potty I would give her some sort of a prize and an even more special one if she went number 2. We also did a chart and if she went all week in the potty then we would go to the park or something of that nature. Good Luck, because I know how hard it can be, especially when you are pregnant. They really do train when they are ready.

My daughter is now 18 years old now. However, she was potty trained - fully - by 2 1/2! This is what I did. At age 1 1/2 I bought a potty training seat & sat it in the bathroom. I said nothing to my daughter; she just discoverd it on her own. When my husband or I, sat on the potty, she would just sit on hers - fully dressed, and talk while I was on the potty. After a while ( a few months ) my daughter asked if she could go potty in her potty (along the way she did finally ask what it was for - we told her).To start, I got a small, clear jar (like a clean baby food jar) and filled it with my daughter's favorite candy (which she did not get much of). Her favorite candy, back then, were the plain M&M's! The jar sat up high, where my daughter could not reach it (not even by climbing); she could only see it. When she "tinkled" in the potty, she got 1 M&M! When she went "stinky" in the potty, she got 2 M&M's! This worked wonderfully!!! When we were out of the house, I kept a small bag of M&M's in my purse.
I hope this helps!
Kathryn

I'm in the same boat but have already had the second child.  My daughter is 2 and just gave up the pacifier.  (yea!)  I've read the book 123 potty training and it offers some good suggestions on potty training.  From what I hear when you are ready to train be consistant and stay close to home for a week.  Also, have your daughter wear underwear not pull ups.  Good luck!

I was in the same boat as I am pregnant and wanted my 2 year old to potty train before this baby came.She wasn't showing signs of being interested yet she didn't care if she was wet. We did what one of the other moms suggessted and had our daughter naked or just in panties at home. I kept a potty chair for her in our living room so it was always right there and would encourage her several times an hour to use it. We also watched Elmos potty time DVD. I let her see me and my husband using the potty and praised each other when we did, it may feel silly but it helped. If you need to, stickers can be a good reward even tiny ones. I suggest not using pull ups at home except at naps or night (which we are still working on) my friends and I agree that it's seems to slow the process down b/c they use them like a diaper. And when you are out take her to the public potties often to keep the routine. She will get it yes there will be accidents even poopie ones but that will happen regardless of what you do. It took my daughter a few months to really get it, but I'm happy to say the baby is not here yet and I take my daughter out in panties now and she does good. Best of luck and don't get discouraged, we all learn this sooner or later :)

I have a 2 year old daughter that has decided she is ready to potty train and I have found that letting her be naked is working the best for us. (She always takes her clothes off anyway!). If she pees once in a diaper, she takes it off. If she pees in her panties, she doesn't care. However, if she pees and it runs down her legs, she HATES it and runs to the potty. Of course, I take her to the potty pretty often, too, to help avoid the mess/cleanup. She also gets very excited if she gets to take the inner cup out of the potty and dump it into the toilet. I am not pushing or forcing anything, but am instead trying to be more laid back about it. However, I will say it is very frustrating(and expensive) when she thinks every time she has even a little spot, she needs a new diaper! Plus, her daycare will not work on potty training until she moves up to the 2 1/2 year old room and she just moved into the 2 year old room last week. Once she moves up, I will be more persistent with it.

I am a 34 year old mother of one 2 year old girl so I am new to all of this, but I am trying to let her show me what works best for her right now. I will change my approach if and when necessary, but so far so good. Good luck.

C.,

I have four children, and with all four, I used the video from Bear and the Big Blue House called "It's Potty Time". We played it daily for what seemed like forever. But another thing I did was went ahead and put them in pull ups and let them get wet. They hated it. I would also put them in regular underwear when they were at home. If they had an accident, it was okay. They soon learned they didn't like to make a mess and started going to the potty like Tutter and Ojo on the video!

Good luck!

T. A

Hello, Patience is a virtue, which it sounds like something you do have.Some years ago I took care of a set of triplets. I started just at the time they had turned two years old.The mom and dad had no patience, so it was my love and responsibility to help. First thing I did was to check their routine when they need to go. The bowel movement was the most cahllenging part, I would put which ever one needed at that moment on the little potty not the adult comode, i would take it to them wherever they may be.the playroom,bedroom or the bathroom and sit with them untill they did it. I would read, play game or something to keep their intrest, and it worked. All three were happy,I was and their parents. At night I told the parents to let them pee before they go to bed. and before the parents go to their bed, no matter what time it maybe, wake them up and let them pee again. They might seem sleepy and fussy and miserable but that's ok they will get use to it and for sure it worked. You have to be consistent if you want it to work. I hope this little advice would be of great help to your family.Remember you have to be firm but in love.
BT

Hi C.,
My daughter who is now 4 was potty trained at 2 years old. What worked well for me was the fact that she loved Dora the Explorer and I purchased the panties for her. She loved her Dora panties and wouldn't dream of wetting them. She wore her panties during the day and at night i still would put a Pull-Up on her but she had to wear the Dora panties over her Pull-Ups. Sounds silly but it worked for us. Hope this helps.

T.

have you tried asking her to "help" you when you go to the bathroom? With no pressure whatsoever from you, just have her come with you and see what you do. She can give you the toilet paper and maybe "help you" flush the toilet. This may get her interested and then the rest would just happen naturally. In my experience, however, children have their own timetable, both physiologically AND psychologically, for when they are ready and willing to do it on their own. Patience...

I also went through this...my daughter was starting to P.T. when I was pregnant with my son...

regardless of getting out of diapers...there is a long road ahead. It was super difficult to potty train with an infant

I would just gently prod her along. If she shows interest then indulge her, but if she is not ready, then wait, either way it is going to be very hard and long journey.

My daughter will turn 4 on April 1 and she still has accidents sometimes, it wasn't until she was about 3.5 until she could wipe and wash hands by herself. I hope this doesn't discourage you, but take heart, the next time around won't be as difficult...you will already know how to handle it :)

sincerely,

D. M.

What worked for me many times is I buy their favorite character like the Disney Princess ect and I tell them you know they don't like being peed on.... Trurgfully though a child will potty train when they are ready usually no later than three.

I had the exact same problem. I was pregnant with my daughter and trying to potty train my daughter. Her doctor said not to push it because once the new baby is born, your oldest will probably regress anyway. We just kept encouraging our daughter and we had "potty time" where she just had to sit on the potty. She got rewarded for trying not for success. We would read a book or pay with stickers or tell stories while she sat on the potty. Soon, it became a comfortable place and she would pee or poop. Just take your time and know that she will get it soon! Good luck!

Ok so there are many ways to potty train. But consider this, does your child wet herself when she goes to sleep? Does she go in her diapers or pullups directly after she eats or drinks? Does she get really upset if she's wet? If you observe her you can tell whether she is ready for potty training. I started potty training my daughter before 2 because based on my responses to the previous two questions and the fact that she would try to climb on the big tiolet and flush it suggested to me that she was ready. Also when I went to the restroom she would always try to go with me. I tried a number of different methods to potty train including letting her do her own thing and not making a big deal out of it, but she was still in pullups and not interested in the children's potty. So I combined some techniques I read about and over the course of 2 days, I had her very well trained but not perfect. I got rid of the pullups- either she was wearing a regular panty or nothing at all (this may sound crazy but my daughter preferred it when she was training) on the first day and we stayed in the bathroom for much of the day. We sang potty songs that I made up, we played and I read a story about the potty to her, all while she was seated on the potty. There were lots of tears, both from her and myself but it worked. That night we were both asleep and she had to go and went on the potty herself. The next day I added clothes to the mix. We did it again and she was fine with clothes on. She was well trained at home, but again at school they had her in pullups and she would not go. Her potty training behavior was under stimulus control because of the pullups. Stimulus control is when an individual does one thing in one setting or under one condition and behaves differently in another setting or under a different condition. I am not suggesting that you do what I did, it was time consuming and tough (it was my spin on what they do in behavioral modification [I study psychology]) but I am saying that there are many ways to potty train, so be consistent and do what works for you but try to train with and without the pullups, see what works.

bribery. when my daughter was traning we used stickers and m&ms. i also bought her pretty panties and said she could not wear them until she didnt go in her pullups anymore. she went in with me when i went and if she sat on the potty but didnt do anything she got a sticker and if she did something she got a couple of m&ms. we also had certain books that were left by her potty so she could look at them when in there and that was the only place she could look at them. this worked and she was completely trained by 2 (including at night). good luck