Need Potty Training HELP!!!!!

I am a stay at home mom atm I have a 3 year old boy he will go pee on the potty but he won't go poop he goes to headstart and preschool and we send him in underwear so I always have to end up cleaning up the mess it really is hard I have been trying but he says he has to go poop when he doesn't he will sit on the toilet and say all done but when he really does have to go he doesn't tell me he just goes if anyone has any advice for this feel free please

I don't know IF this will help any. But I've used M&M's, rubber stamp or stickers. What I did is put my son on the potty before bedtime, when he wakes up, after diaper change, etc. Ea. time he went on the potty he got a reward (see list above). I'd have him sit on the potty maybe 5 - 10 min. (or something like that). BUT something else I did, which did help. Is let him pick out his own underwear.

I went throught the same thing with my stubborn son what I have been trying lately that has been helping is letting him run completly naked. They feel the sensation to go potty but nothing is up against there skin for them to go in so they run to the bathroom then I reward him with a treat one treat for pee and two for poop it is working he is now going in to the potty and when he has a diaper on he will take it off and go. this is the only thing I have found that will work with him. I got this advice from another parent who had a hard time potty training their child too! Hope it works for you

I honestly think that there's nothing wrong with having a 2 and a half year old who isn't potty trained yet. I think they'll do it when they're ready to. I have a daughter who turned 2 in August and she started wanting to go sit on the toilet last January and she's been doing it on and off since then and just recently has she started telling us when she has to go so she can go on the potty. I think potty training isn't something you can force. She'll do it when she wants to.

As a mother of two very stubborn children, I can definately sympathize with you. Potty training can be a very frustrating time for you and your child. My son is now four and him and I went through about the same thing as you and your daughter. Ultimately I just had to back off and give him a little time then try again. He was about 3 when it finally just clicked for him, he decided he was ready and it was very easy from that point on. He was completely potty trained, even at night within just days, and never had any accidents. I just had to let him have some control over it was all. Hope that helps!

Hi B. B,

I had this problem with my daughter also but she was three. What I did was told my daughter to change her own pants. (It was obvious that she knew to go on the potty but still peed her pants just after I took her to the potty, for attention I don't know. ) I put her in the tub and gave her the wipes and a clean pair of underpants and pants. I helped her a little if she poopied (basically got the poopy pants off - she had to wipe herself) For peepee we only had to resort to this a handful of times, for the poopy just once. I hope this helps.
L.

Hi,
Ok, I will say right up front that my daughter is very stubborn at times, but not all the time, so I don't know if this will work or not. Just stop trying. Take the potty away, take the books away, take all the potty related stuff away, and put her back in regular diapers. Make sure you put the stuff away when she's paying attention, so she sees you do it. If and when she asks what happened and where the potty went, get to her eye level and explain that you though she was ready to be a big girl and go potty like the big girls do in a potty, but that you must have been wrong. If there is anything that she is allowed to do because she's a big girl, consider taking those away because she's not a big girl. I don't like the idea of "punishing by withholding", especially for potty training, but it worked during a difficult peroid with my daughter. Another thing that worked was finding something that she was really passionate about (the little mermaid) and finding some sort of ongoing reward/goal. With Makaya, because she is so obsessed with Ariel, we came up with the on going goal that if she wanted to have a mermaid tail like Ariel, then she had to go in the potty every time like a big girl, because only big girls can have mermaid tails. This one is easy to keep going because when she askes if it's growing, I just feel her tail bone, and say "Yes! I can feel it! Do you want to feel it?" Then I help her find her "tail", and she gets so excited. It has really helped a lot since we started that reward/goal. If you need any help coming up with a reward/goal, or if you just want to talk, send me an e-mail, and we can talk that way, or I can give you a call if that's easier. ____@____.com
Good Luck!
S.

signs matter, but your kid will know when it is time just leave the potty where she can see it and wait

I know exactly what you are going through. I have a 3 year old boy who knows exactly when he goes and would come to me and ask me to change him. I asked him why he didn't want to go in the potty and his response would be "I don't want to". So I told him that I only have a couple of pull ups left and when they are gone he has to wear big boy underwear. The next morning he woke up and said I want to wear big boy pants like my brother. That was all it took. He now doesn't want the pull ups at all. My next task is to get him to sit on the potty and go. Good luck.

Hi B. B.
I understand what you are going through. My doughter is also 2 1/2. I drove myself nuts and I would get so mad at her. I read somewhere that it's hard for us as adults to understand why our children can't or won't go on the potty, because we have been doing it for so long. I was in the same "boat" as you. What worked for us finally was I gave her praise (not too much). We started a potty chart and ever time she went she got to pick out a sticker to put on it. Then when her chart was all full she got a Big Girl Prize. The real trick was starting her off on the right foot. When she does go take her to her potty have her sit down and let her know that this is where she goes. Kind of like how you teach a dog to go outside. Tell her "Big girls use the potty and your a big girl". Another thing you could try is when you go she goes in with you. Children learn by watching us. The first few times I felt weird, but I knew that she was learning from me what to do and what not to do. Another thing I can pass on to you is never tell her that she is a bad girl, because she's not. Let her know that she needs to keep trying and to not give up. She will get the hang of it. Try what I have said, if you havn't already and you both will get there. Good Luck!
K. Q.

Hey, I sympathize with you. My kids are 4 and 15 mo's. I was potty training my son when I was pregnant with my daughter. The most trouble we had was getting him to go number 2. You know those mat's that are sold that go under high chairs....we put that underneath his potty chair and set it infront of the tv. I know, not the ideal thing to do, but sometimes it took him awhile. In the end, bribes weren't helpful at all but it came down to him wanting to do it on his own. We wanted to give up too, and some people do put training off for awhile...just a month/so break. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. LAB

I feel your pain B.!!! Well, I am a mom of three children, my youngest now three years old. The very best advice I can give you is DON'T WORRY, it will happen. And she's going to do it when you least expect it. She knows how to do it, it's just the battle of the wills and that's all it is. I know, because I was always told girls are easier and that's just not true!!! At least not with my little hot head. My boys were easier.
Once I gave up with my daughter and just said to her, listen I guess you like your diapers more than being a big girl, we'll just keep you in diapers awhile longer. Bam, she decided she liked the idea of being a "big girl" she didn't want to be a "baby" any longer and big girls go potty on a potty chair. It hit her like a big light bulb. All the books try to tell us that there is a time limit and there just isn't. Kids are going to do it when they're ready.
You're doing just fine and don't get down on yourself, it'll happen sooner than you know!!!
Wow, you're a full-time student with kids and a hard working spouse. I'm really proud of you two!!! It's not easy being a parent and a professional person. Sounds like you're doing well and I am super proud of you both.
Feel free to email anytime. I'm also a stay at home mom. I own my own business from home and always love to have adult conversation as well. Nice to know there are other words in our vocabulary besides gaga googoo!! LOL
T.

my son got stubborn from both sides. we sat him on the potty and gave him water to drink when we were pretty sure he need to go. so that he could actually feel what it was like RIGHT before and during peeing. If he pooped his pants he cleaned himself up (empting his diaper/underwear, swishing it during the flush, etc.) If he dropped it on the floor he picked it up bare-handed. you may say gross, but hands wash and if they don't like then they figure out pretty quick how to get it toilet the first time--not in their pants. I helped hold his hand while he swished his underwear just so that it wouldn't get sucked down the toilet. I do think with sam it was taking time, and when he went in his pants he was playing so not concentrating on the potty part.

My sister did the same thing with her daughter and she was trained by 2 1/2. She started at her 2nd bday (february) and was completed by august when lil' sis was born. My son is also very picky about his bathrooms. He won't go in a bathroom that old looking or dirty looking (even if it's not). If were travelling we know that we better plan a route that has Casey's convenience stores because their bathrooms are usually big, white and pretty darn clean. Sam turn 2 in january and we started really working it around April and had it completely mastered (going on his own, not us taking him) January.

We also flush the potty as he's sitting down. The rushing water may be influencing him to relax.

B. B,

I have to say that you are NOT ALONE!!! My youngest is turning 4 soon, and it wasn't until October of this year (at 3 1/2)that she turned the corner and decided that she wanted to use the potty.

In old family movies from Sept 05 (when she was about 2 1/2) there is a shot of her on her potty. Like you, we tried and tried and tried, just about everything we could think of, and it seemed like nothing would work.

I think that 2 1/2 is a difficult age, kids are beginning to show their true independence and can be difficult to "persuade". What worked, ultimately, but not until age 3 1/2 :( was getting her into a play group with other kids who were in the potty training process. Everyone went (as a group) to use the potty, and that seemed to be just the nudge she needed.

I wouldn't worry about the training. It can be such a battle, ultimately causing you undue stress and anxiety. She will do it, especially because she knows that you are there to support her.

Good luck, K.

Your trying too hard. leave her be children do that one day/week shes ready the next nothing. They are smarter than they seem. I promise when she is truley ready she will just go in there her self. Continue to take her to the pottyor try the big toilet(sometimes they prefer it) and take her when you go so she sees what to do but don't push she'll go just give her time but don't stop taking her in the mean time. it worked with my kids. Good luck!!!

I would stop taking her in there and talking about it. Period. From one stubborn person to another, doesn't an idea seem more appealing when it is your own? It may take her a week or two, but if you let her think that it is up to her and on her terms she might stop feeling the need to resist it and acctually will most likely start asking to go. Just a little something that seems to work in a lot of ways with my stubborn 2 yr old! Good luck! :)

I have a little girl who is 2 also. She is finally doing wonderful on the potty. She did what your little girl did for awhile and then we got the ring to go on the big potty and walaaa - she goes in it every time she needs to go potty. We have a stool for her to climb up on and it's a blues clues potty ring. She loves it. We are now dealing with popping in the potty. She hasn't figured out how to sit and poop yet -- she asks for a pull up and then goes to her room, poops in it, takes it off and dumps it in the toilet. Your little one will get it, it's all a control game, let her feel like she's in control and soon you'll have a walaaa day!!!

I would say you're trying too hard and she knows it. You've done all you can by giving her the tools she needs the rest is up to her. I would suggest getting a timer and telling her it's her potty reminder, set it for the time you desire and let her know when it goes off she will need to go sit on the potty. This way you don't have to keep reminding and asking. You might also try using some sort of reward(M&M's, stickers, etc.) for when she goes in at the timer, then later you can start to give it when she uses the potty. Of course, offer praise , but don't keep hounding her about the potty or it will become a power struggle. Another trick I've used a lot is to go bottomless! I don't know why but it seems to make a difference if they are peeing on the floor instead of their undies. Some kids take a little longer but they all get it eventually! Good Luck.

All you need to do is take a step back. The more you push her about it the more she is going to resist you. At 2 1/2 kids feel very out of control because they can't always verbalize their feelings, and often don't know what they're even feeling. So if they can control something, believe me they will. Potty training is the biggest. You just can't make them do it. So just back off and she'll decide on her own that she wants to do it.

My son went pee in the potty just fine, but the poo was not so easy. One thing I tried was giving him a treat ONLY after he went! I gave him something little like 1/2 stick of gum, 1/2 of a granola bar, but really praised him when he went. Another thing that I did was make a potty chart. Everytime he went in the potty he got a sticker and got to put it on the chart himself. He felt so independant and thought that it was so cool to get stickers!

He is 4 now, and is still wetting at night, so if you have any suggestions, I have tried all of the above on that as well.

Good luck!
T.

I had the same problem with my daughter after my 2nd daughter was born. She was 2 1/2 and stayed with my parents while I was in the hospital. She was there for almost 3 days and had 1 accident. She got home and stopped going on the potty at all!! I would tell her it was time to go potty and she would go in her pants and say change me. I would put her on the potty for 30 min at a time and she would go a little and then go in her pants 5 min after I took her off. When she turned 3 I had had enough!! I told her it was potty time and she ran from me, went into her play room and pooed in her pants. She layed down and said change me. I took her into the kitchen handed her a pull up and the wet ones and told her to do it herself. She was a big girl and if she was big enough to poo in her pants after I told her to go potty and then tell me about it then she was big enough to clean it up herself. She screamed in the kitchen holding her pull up and wet ones for about 20 min and then she asked me to help her. I went in there and helped her, she did most of it herself, and I never had another problem. I think, at least in my situation, it had to do with attention and the new baby. I know that it sounds a little rough but some kids need that extra push. Each kid is different because my baby, now 20 months, asks to go potty already!! Probably from watching her big sister. Good luck! I hope that helps.

Hi B.,

This situation sounds like carbon copy of my daughter and me. She was just over 2 1/2 when I finally said "you are ready and we are doing this." She had been showing all the signs for almost a year and she was just being stubborn with a capital S. After I had our son in February I became a stay at home mom, I had planned to return to work but in March we took a good look at things and decided me staying home would be smarter financially. My daugther's last day of daycare was April 15th and that was also her last day in diapers. Saturday morning when she woke up I put her in cloth training pants. For the first 4 or 5 days I seriously didn't think it was going to ever happen. After day 2 of putting her on the potty every half hour only to have her pee in her pants 10 minutes after taking her off the potty (she would even sit for 20-30 minutes because I thought leaving her there would make her pee) I was in tears. I kept calling my mom for reassurance that what I was doing was the right thing because I wanted to give up. She even asked or her diapers many times and I told her no way but really wanted to just resort to them again. It took about 2 weeks and it just clicked. She did have the occasional accident for the first couple weeks after that. After being potty trained for about a month and a half she asked me not to put a diaper on her at night, I was fearful but granted her wish to be 100% a big girl. She has never gone at night since we started the potty training thing, in fact she was waking up dry everyday for about 6-8 months before I started potty training her. Just stick to your guns and don't give in to putting the diapers back on if you think she is fully ready, it will happen, it will just click and it will feel so good for you. Knowing that you were willing to throw in the towel and stuck it out and she did it will make you feel awesome. I hope this helps you a bit. If you would like to email me privately for some support please feel free to do so.

B.
mommy to Savannah 3 1/2 and Kaden 10 months

i have a girl who just turned 2 nov 15th,, and a boy who will be 3 jan 24th,, we have been 'potty training' him since he was 18 months or so. my girl will go every once in a while but mainly she just sits there and says tinkle.. i think she like just saying the word. haha.
in my opinion, if he isn't ready, take a break. i was really frustrated a few months/weeks back. my son would go for my husband no problem, but would throw a fit for me if i suggested hey lets go sit on the potty. i was almost in tears. everything i read said don't stop once you start. i talked to our pediatrician. she said it's best for both invovled to actually take a break.
i keep reminding myself that he's only 3(barely) and a lot of kids don't get potty trained till after 3 anyway. and what kindegardner do you see not potty trained?( i ask myself).. so i try to let go of the riens for a while and let it happen when my son is ready.
i hate buying diapers!! but i hate the frustration of trying to get a toddler to go potty more..haha
good luck,,

We tried potty breaking are son and he was just not gettin it at all.But one day we where at the store and he wanted big boy underwear and i told him ill buy them but you cant wear them unless you are a biggy boy.The next day we put them on him a wow he went potty all day in his potty chair!!!we had a few accidents but nothing that bad.So you might want to try that with your daughter and see if it works.If she wears them and and continually pottys in them than i would put them up and tell her we are not wearing them until you can go potty in the potty chair.Another thing is you might want to let her sit on the big potty some children have issues with a potty chair and want to be on the big potty.I wish you luck!!!!K.