Need Name for Foster Kids to Call Me

Meema? It's "kinda" like mom, but far enough away to not be.... and may be easy to switch if you do become mom.

I didn't know this, but I googled Meema and it's a flower (http://www.bestplants.com.au/native-shrubs-groundcovers/m...) so you could teach the sign for flower :)

I like the idea of you being Mama First Name. It's respectful to birth parents while still being a little formal.

I am a former foster kid and while some kids called the foster parent mom, I never did. It never felt right to me. Then again, I entered foster care at age ten, so I wasn't used to calling someone I barely knew mom.. You could have the children call you zia, which in Italian means aunt... or Cara, although that means dear in Italian, it's pretty...

I like mama first name. You are their acting mother after all. My bet is many kids will drop your first name and call you mom in time.

If I was a foster mom I would want to be called mama T. (mama plus my first name.)
It lets them know you ARE a mama figure but not THE mother.

'Auntie' is popular in the United States for women who are either a real Aunt or a close adult.

I also like the one some of your kids use: "Mama First Name"

I was not in foster care, but since we were pretty poor, my mom worked all the time and I spent a lot of time in in-home daycare. I may as well have been Mama Rosa's child. I spent holidays, went to church, helped with chores, all the things her kids and grandkids did.

When I first arrived, she said "you can call me Miss Rosa." And then as she and I grew close she was "Mama Rosa."

I wouldn't tell the kids to call you whatever they want. Establish yourself as a pillar in their life. I think asking the kids to call you Miss First Name or Mama First Name is a way to show yourself as a point of stability in their life. I don't know your first name, but if you look your name up and it has meaning, perhaps the little one's sign for you could be your name's meaning?

My SIL is a speech pathologist and she told us it was common for kids to come up with their own signs for friends & relatives, like nicknames, along the lines of what Hanna V said, and that the first initial is commonly used. We taught our kids to sign before they could talk and our family sign was the first initial drawn across the eyes because the kids (& mom) have big, pretty eyes. Maybe your first initial over the heart....or the sign for mother followed by your first initial.

Aunt X. Tia. MommaX.

When we brought our middle son home, it seemed to help that he had not been calling his foster mom "mom" or "mama".

Gigi and Poppy?
Glammy and Big G?

First of all, this is a wonderful thing you are doing. So many kids are in the foster system and they really need structure and a loving home. Being committed to family reunification is very compassionate of you.

I think you should avoid anything like Mommy or Mama, or anything that sounds like that - it can confuse kids and it can make the legal mom a little defensive when/if reunification is imminent.

I don't think "Nana" is an age thing, but it definitely means a grandmother. The children may, in fact, be reunited with their other nana so that can be problematic in that way as well.

If you think there is a possibility that you may possibly adopt, you will want a name that the kids can continue to use. I think having older kids use whatever they are comfortable with is one thing, but infants and toddlers need to be told what your name is. Still, older kids need to be given a suggestion - perhaps 2 choices - so they aren't sitting there in disarray and confusion and saying, "Great, now I need to figure out how I feel about this person running a household I know nothing about." So there are suggestions of "Ms. Nancy" or something similar.

If you Google "What do foster kids call the foster mom" or something similar, you will get a bunch of websites & blogs - there doesn't seem to be much agreement. The most neutral and consistent seems to be "Auntie" because it's culturally acceptable to so many people, since aunts and uncles are often not biologically connected to the child. It's not threatening to the birth parents but it does imply a strong familial tie. Many of the comments point out that kids just lapse in "Mommy" anyway because the foster mom does "mom things". It's probably wise not to get worked up about what a child calls you on their own, but you definitely need something to suggest, and something that can be signed in some cases.

Also, for infants, you want something easy to pronounce with the sounds they learn first.

Good luck and, again, kudos for all you do.

When I was young I had a deaf friend who was raised in several foster homes and she had a great way of making nicknames for everyone with signs. I was the letter "H" going from the top of the head to the shoulder-just like my straight hair and the H of my first name. She would "name" some people after animals they reminded her of or that they loved. Maybe you could be "Kitty Kat" or something cute and affectionate but not too familial..especially for a 1year old learning sings that might be fun for him? Anyway I hope that helps and I am awed by your kindness and understanding of what foster children feel and need emotionally. Good luck!

I like "Ms. Your First Name).

For exmple, Ms. Nancy as one poster said.

Mama First Name
Miss First Name
Auntie First Name

Any of those show authority but also make room for a close, loving relationship. Choose whichever one you feel best about. Also, you may need more than one name. Kids who come to you as babies/toddlers may be more likely to choose Mama First Name while older kids who know their parents may be more comfortable calling you Miss First Name. It's ok to be different things to different kids.

I, too, am a foster mom. Both of our placements have ended in adoption. While the children were still in care, I told the mothers, they would be mommy and I would be momma. Since the adoptions, the kids go back and forth. Older kids will decide on their own .... Younger ones will follow the rest of the kids. Try not to stress too much.

I don't associate any particular age with 'Nana'.
Our baby sitter (long term day care) when we were growing up was Nana.

i've always thought 'tia' was pretty. we're scandinavian so no one in my lot who would use it!
i love you for what you do, miss coco.
:) khairete
S.

Whatever you are comfortable with is THE best answer.

Ms. or Aunt or Momma and then Insert First Name. Nana was what my daughter called her daycare provider and they had a close bond (she was not quite of an age to have grandchildren of her own but she loved those kids fiercely).

Or you could go with a nickname. My son went through a quick stage where he called me "Ms. Mammi"...my now ex MIL was called "rain" short for Lorraine before he started calling her "MomMom Rain".

Best of luck...let us know what you decide on.

I like GiGi and Poppy as mentioned by OnePerfectOne. BTW-I have the utmost respect for you. You are giving a terrific gift to these kids. I wish you God's best blessings...

We have several friends that are foster parents.

One family has the kids call them by their first names.

Another family are older and they have the kids call them grandma and grandpa.

Then another friend had the kids call her mama XXXX.

It's personal preference to be honest. If you had my kids I would be jealous they were calling you mama anything BUT I'd know they were being taken care of and that you were working with me to get them home.

It's not a secret that the foster parents are a bridge and that the biological parents need to have help, the foster parents are their role models, their advocates, their best cheerleader if they just work the program.

Being reunited with their kids is a huge goal, learning better skills, having a good role model, and good people in their lives is good for them. I'd say what every the kids called you would be fine.

I hope the family members are contracted soon so the kids can have time to get to know them and they can have the kids in their homes before they take them. As you know that's very important.

The one foster family that has the kids call them by their names adopted a foster child but they worked with a grandmother for about 6 months. She really really tried for the sake of her granddaughter but it just wasn't meant to be.

I like "Miss Firstname" or "Mama Firstname" depending on what the child is comfortable with.

Not your first names

Since you are their "parents" ? I like the idea of "Mama First name"..

How great of you to open your home and heart to these kids!! I hope you are able to adopt!!!

Ny nephews call their grandma "Honey". It's something one of them started now all her grandkids call her that. Maybe something like that ?

How awesome that you do this!

I don't like names that make it seem like you are grandparents, so for me, that would knock out Yama, Yaya, GiGi, etc. Why? Because you aren't grandparents. You are basically their parents, you are in this for the long haul and if you plan on adopting them, having them refer to you as grandparents would be a weird change-over.

You can adopt any word you like. If Tita works for you, then use that.

If this were me? I would go with Ms. S. or Aunt S..