Need Knowledge of Oregon Legal System

Updated on November 16, 2007
L.M. asks from Beaverton, OR
4 answers

I recently left my husband and took my 2 and 1/2 year old daughter with me. I left with his permission. I told him a month after I was in Washington that I wanted to file for a legal separation, he just said, "Okay". In the almost three months since I have been in Washington he has been up to see her twice and both times he has spent only a few hours with her. He then claims he has no money to come up to visit her but can afford to spend almost a couple hundred to get his computer fixed, a non necessity.
I have tried to file for divorce up here but my daughter hasn't lived in Washington for six months yet, so if I file there is a chance that the case will get kicked to Oregon where my husband lives. I have a basic understanding of washington guidlines regarding divorce and custody cases.
I have been my babies caregiver since she was born. I can count on one hand the amount of times he gave her a bath. he doesn't know her routine and told me that he won't try to learn it. I am currently pregnant with my second child, it's my third pregnancy but the last one was a miscarriage.
I can't afford a lawyer so I just want to know the basics of what to expect if the case gets kicked to Oregon. It has already come down to me hiding with my daughter at a relatives house on Thanksgiving because he is determined to take her to Idaho on that day for the entire weekend. There is no emotional bond on my daughter's end to her dad. She doesn't ask about him and she isn't excited to see him when he does bother to visit.He claims its what is best for her if she goes with him but she has never spent a night away from me. I just feel that it would be better if a weekend away was gradually worked up to so that she can feel more comfortable with her dad. He has made threats and his harassing me regarding our daughter claiming that he will get full custody of her if I don't do exactly as he says.
I want her to have a relationship with her dad and his family I just want something legal in place first, and I want the court to approve a visitation schedule that will allow her to build up a stronger bond with her dad.
I need help, If I file and it goes to oregon are there low cost attorneys or people who can help me with legal stuff?

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Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

Hi L.-
I know you say that you can't afford a lawyer, but you HAVE to find a lawyer to help you get legal custody of your daughter and child support. If you don't have legal custody, you husband could take your daughter and you would have no legal way to get her back, until you get a lawyer and go through the long court process. I know lawyers are expensive. But you have to protect yourself and your daughter. Here is a link to the Oregon Bar Legal Aid:
http://www.osbar.org/public/ris/LowCostLegalHelp/LegalAid...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.G.

answers from Portland on

Don't let him take her to Idaho, You may never see her again. Don't let him intimidate you either. My friend let her ex intimidate her and still regrets it every day 10 years later. look on line look in the blue pages of the local Washington phone book and start making calls and asking questions people should be able to send you in the right direction. Just be gone when he comes plan ahead to do something and stay at a motel. I hope this helps. Go to the police station and ask them questions they might be able to guide you to some place that helps women.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Portland on

L.,

I don't know the legal system in Oregon, but I can give you the website for Legal Aid Society in Portland. They provide free to low-cost legal aid to low-income Oregonians.

Their website is www.oregonlawhelp.org and their phone number is ###-###-####.

They have an entire section on their website devoted to divorce and child custody information. You would probably find a lot of useful information there.

Best of luck,

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi L.,
I'm going through something similar right now. I am in Oregon and I went to the Hillsboro court house and picked up the divorce papers to file on our own. The cost is $321.00 + $145.00 a class everyone has to take to end the marriege called Kids start. If you go through the court house it saves you alot of money. You have to do the paper work first so you can have the kids and the needs are met for all of you.
You'll need to come back to Oregon to get the paper work from the court house and start the process.
Good luck to you. Stay firm in what you want for yourself and the kids.
S.

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