Need Input on Helping 10 Year Old Fit In...

My borther went thou the same thing. He did not join any club or sport, it nver got beter. So i would take that advice. Get her active in a group who will build her up not put her down.

I agree, find something she can enjoy and she will find some common ground. Also discuss with her why people act this way. I told both my kids that people act out because they are hurting already. They are trying to make themselves feel better and this is the only way they know how. Then empower her by telling her how she can love them the way Jesus does. Look at how he was picked on and his reaction to it.

If it doesn't let up is hter a way you can switch schools? I have found that schools in the same town can be drasticaly different.

If I were you I would speak to a nutritionist and get her involved in some physical activities (especially karate). Weight issues lead to health problems that should be addressed regardless of whether or not she is being bullied.

Activities will help her come into contact with others, and may help give her some self confidence to attract friends and repel bullies.

As I mentioned in another recent post, there is a "victim" aura around children who are bullied. You need to work with your daughter to change that. Perhaps you should schedule a meeting with the teacher to see if she/he has any suggestions about how your daughter can handle herself.

M.,

That is a difficult situation for any young girl, expecially in this day and age of image importance.

First, I would, as I am sure you do, remind you daughter how beautiful she is not matter what others say. Just encourage her to keep up with her personality and help her understand that others, expecially in todays society, do not know how to treat others with sincerity and respect.

Secondly, the suggestion Dawn stated about swimming is a wonderful idea. The local swim team(the one in Oak Harbor) is filled with children of every possible type of body image and I have not seen or heard that any of the children care what the other children look like because they are so busy trying to be a better swimmer.

The local swim team has various levels of swimmers and they do not even have to compete in meets if they do not feel comfortable. But most importantly the children loose weight without even knowing it! They have such a good time learning the techniques so they can compete in as many meets as possible they do not realize they are toning their bodies.

Stop by a local swim team practice and see how there are so many differences in the children she may feel so comfortable that she may want to join.

If swimming is not for her find something that she loves to do and see if there is a local club that she can join which encorages learning not concentrating on her weight.

I hope that this suggestion gives you a idea on what to do. I do encourage some type of activity that she would enjoy while not making her realize her weight situation.

Take care and be strong!

I have seen some wonderful input so far...I was also the school outcast, but because I was the shortest in class, very quiet, and very poor. I found friends outside of my school who loved me for who I was. If you can, try letting your daughter make friends with kids through volunteer work, or special programs like Saturday Academy. (saturdayacademy.org - Don't balk at the prices of the classes, it's easy to get grants/scholarships for them!) Sending love and prayers - J.

Have a tea party or something... My girls were new to a school and although they don't have a weight situation, they didn't really get to know other kids until there was a party. This also gave me an opportunity to get to know other parents in her age group/class. At the old school, a girl had a cookie decorating party for christmas, but it doesn't have to have a holiday to surround it (in case there are other non-christian children). Just have a party. Getting the girls out of their "routine" and doing something fun together may help them discover that your daughter is a sweetie and they will all want to get to know her better.

M.,

From what I have heard from you is that your daughter has a beautiful, caring christian personality. When I was younger I was involved in a girls christian club and I felt really good about being at a place where other people took a christian perspect. Often in school situations there is a great deal of pressure to belong to groups that are supportive to man made ideals that seem so real and important at the time.

Our being is not made up by our body shape (that changes over time with man's ideals) or by sports that someone decided on Earth would be cool and good for us to do and watch. We are free to do sports and whatever else we choose, but to have them determine or place in life or who we are isn't correct. These things don't represent LIFE, they're man made ideas.

I think that what is really important here is that YOU have the right thought about your daughter. Don't be impressed by the girls at school that have a false sense of who your daughter is because they have this idea about what makes man perfect. Many times people get interested in ideas that they know are not real because it gives them false support from others, but you are her mother and you've been given this situation to be a correct example to her.

I would talk to your daughter about how you are dealing with school (or anywhere else) situations. One example might be to say; I am in a class at school and my teacher is talking about things in a non christian way (jokes etc) and sometimes is bothers me and sometimes I even feel like it's beginning to make my day go bad thinking about it. But, I start realizing that the only perspective I feel is important is God's perspective. And I start thinking about the good qualities about this person and how he is God's creation and you know my day goes better because when I think of him I replaced the thoughts he gave me with the thoughts I know God has taught me. God wants my experiences at school to be positive and everywhere I am for that matter and I can reflect that thought.

Anyway, you get the idea. It's letting her know that EVERYONE doesn't have to struggle with comments or looks or put downs we could really do without and many times we don't know we are doing it too and reacting is giving into this idea. Knowing what is right and true about us and others makes these ideas false and they have no power to make our day go bad.

Angel are with her right now,
G.

hi i understand that becase my son is 18 months old but already 31inches tall and in a 7 in a shoe im sorry i dont know what else to day here other then i understand how u feel.

Well, I am a 6'2" female (I reached my full height in middle school) and I am not as thin as I would like either. In my experience, I cannot say enough for getting involved in a club or sport. I have also been a middle school teacher or 8 years and have given the same advice MANY times and have seen it work!! It seems odd for a child that is overweight because of being in a swim suit but swim teams are a WONDERFUL thing for uncoordinated and overweight adolecents. I have always found them to be very accepting and not as competative as some other sports. Or if she is interested in any other hobbies or clubs or active church groups. It may not stop kids from picking on her but it will give her a circle of peers who can get to know the real her and can help her develop the strengh the deal with the mean people in the world.