Need Ideas on How to Get My Daughter to Be a Little Less Selfish

No I dont think its premature to be teaching her that she needs to be a little less "selfish" for lack of a better word. The sooner the better I say!

You did good though, because you did not relent, and buy her something too just because she was continuously asking for a present too.
Just be firm and tell her no, today is your sisters birthday, and not yours. When it is your birthday, then you get the toys etc, and she will not.

She cannot expect to get something every time, so good for you for standing strong. Its okay that you had to pick it out yourself, if she wants to pout I say let her for a little while, and maybe she will soon understand. She is still young however, so it will take a bit of time for her to fully understand the concept. But keep with it, and you will all be happier later.

You figure out the answer to that one, let me know! My SD is 9 and we went to pick out Christmas gifts and she didn't want to spend the money I gave her (and it wasn't even her hard-earned allowance!) on anyone else! However, after lots of coaxing and talking about the purpose of Christmas being GIVING, she relented. And I'm proud to say that on Christmas she was just as excited to have people open the gifts she was giving as she was opening her gifts. I think sometimes we have to push a little bit and the outcome is worth it. (In the past no one had ever taken her Christmas shopping nor did she do any giving on Christmas.) If you just continue to encourage her to pick out a gift, or make one, she will soon get into the spirit of giving. For my SD, it started a little too late.

I do think at 5 it's hard to focus on her sister (whom she is close to) getting all the presents. And picking out cards can be boring for 5-year old! I think you handled it fine, and if you are consistent with it she will grow up to be a generous person!

I do not think it is premature to do this with your daughter. It sounds like you are on the right track with her. I would have gotten down on her level, looked her right in the eye, and told her that we need to make her sister's birthday special. Ask her to help you do it. With a huge smile on your face. If she insisted about wanting things, I would have very clearly stated that it wasn't about her, that she wasn't getting anything today, and that she needed to not be selfish in this. Be kind, loving, gentle, but firm. This is something that rears its ugly head in pretty much everyone. It is good to get it under control at a young age.

as others have said this behaviour is both natural and age appropriate and, as others have said, it is a great time to start coreecting her behaviours a bit.

when i go into a best buy to shop for someone else i might linger walking past the tv. does that make me selfish? i don't think so. perhaps if you made a plan ahead of time, one that included ten minutes for her to look at toys she wanted with the understanding that nothing would be purchased and then she could shop for her sister with that out of her system.

if that does not work i might go with the if you are big enough to help me shop for your sister you may not come to the store me. that's a motivator in our house.

good luck!

sounds like a normal 5-year old. I think the key is consistency and encouraging to get the idea that its fun to see her sister light up when she gets her gift. Even if she didn't pick it out, you can still tell her -- why don't you give your sister the gift from us, remember when you helped pick it out? Kids don't quite get things like this at first -- takes time and consistent encouragement, which you are doing. I wouldn't worry about it.

It's definitely a lot to do with her age. My daughter (5 also) isn't really like this when it comes to picking out toys but she does get jealous/greedy in other areas. For example, yesterday afternoon she got picked up by my sister to go to a movie at the theater, while my youngest stayed home with me. Later on that night, my mom picked up my youngest as she watches them on Monday's because she lives 25-30 minutes and has always taken them overnight. But my 5 year old is in Kindergarten and has school so she doesn't get to go. My 5 year old said "its not fair (sister) gets to go to Grandma's" I said, "Did you forget you got to go to a movie with your aunt today, while your sister stayed with us?"

I think to get started with working on your issue I would start with having her make something for her sister. A card, beaded bracelet...etc. Then keep working with her. Perhaps next time she can help pick out Grandma's birthday gift (not having to go to a toy aisle might help) and so on. And then just keep working with her on the toy gifts. Really, stress before you go about who it is for, then get her to come up with suggestions on what they would like before getting there. Or suggest yourself and explain what section of the toys you need to look at. Its never to early to teach this lesson, but just know she is still young and this is common.