Hi, ladies. My 7 1/2 year old son loves science and nature. He is always in our backyard. Most of our backyard is paved around our pool with very little grass. We do have a swingset with mulch underneath and my son is always digging there. He loves to make rivers and dams. He also likes to catch bugs to feed his lizard. My husband has worked so hard to make our backyard beautiful, this digging and making mud is a problem. It's too messy to walk through the yard as it's right in front of the door to our fence and then we can't use the swingset. The swingset is connected to a large treehouse built in our oak tree and there is a chicken coop beside it. I am pretty much out of room. I offered to get him a sandbox but he says it's not deep enough and he can't catch bugs. If I got crickets from the pet store, he wouldn't have to catch bugs. But he will still want to dig. Do you have an outdoor loving child that loves to dig? Any ideas for my husband and son living in backyard harmony? Thanks!
I totally agree with giving him his own place to dig. Now I can give my husband all of your posts and show him all the Mom's agree. When he tells me he's growing grass, I tell him I'm growing a 7 year old. Thanks!
I think the only solution is to accept he likes to dig. I can't imagine putting aesthetics above happiness.
I was a digger as a kid, now I garden. Seems to fill my kids need to dig as well.
We have raised garden plots but we have one that is just dirt, and that one is for the kids to play in. they love it.
Oh my goodness--unless it's one designed for toddlers don't get rid of the swingset IMO! I think a swingset connected to a treehouse sounds like a boys' dream. My boys used their swingset (large, sturdy with climbing equipment) until they became teenagers.
What about a stone stepping path through the mud so you can at least walk to the swingset? My son loves the stone stepping paths through the mulched garden at my parents' cabin. In additon to being attractive and practical it's become somewhat of a game to step on the stones.
He's a kid. Give him part of the yard to dig in. A backyard is to enjoy not having to just look at
When my boys were about that age, we got them a metal detector. And they started digging up the yard.
Teach him how to put everything back. And give him ONE area for making mud. We taught the boys to pull the sod back (or mulch) before they started digging, and then to refill the hole with dirt when they were done and put the sod back on top.
As for digging under the swingset...? I think Dad needs to lay off. That's your SON'S swingset to play on and under. Let the boy dig. Put a rake out there so the mulch can be straightened out, but don't discourage his creativity. :-) Also, a couple of 6x8 chunks of wood make really great benches to put on the dirt for benches while digging....and bugs REALLY love to hide under them after a couple of weeks.
I think it's awesome that he's out there! Give him a part of the yard where he can dig and make mud. If you have room for a sandbox, can you take wherever that would go and instead of putting a sandbox on top of the mulch or ground, just frame off a space the same size and let him dig as deep as he wants to there? Keep in mind that this phase will pass.You'll have the whole rest of your lives to enjoy having a beautiful yard - childhood is short, life is long. I would find a way to accommodate your son's passion even if it means looking at an eyesore of a yard for another year or two. Someday you'll miss this.
I'd just let him dig. Someday he will be grown up and gone. Your husband can have his grass then, but he will miss his child.
Right here-- I have the little digger of the neighborhood. The only thing that works is to allow a designated patch... would your son be up for studying a specific area? (wherever it was that you would propose to put a sandbox would be great) You could propose this as a science experiment and do what the scientists do at digs; use stakes and plastic ribbon/tape and make a square area for it. Or,for a more polished look, use concrete or plastic garden edgers/borders. You could also give him a clipboard with some charts/worksheets you've made for him to 'study the space' with; charting/graphing how many bugs he finds each visit within just that designated space. Put an outdoor thermometer on the fence next to it so that he can take temperature readings, too, and a rain gauge/rain collector so he can chart that.
Make a deal with him that he might keep that space if the digging stops elsewhere.
My son loves to dig holes in the back yard; recently I had to fill them in as we were having some kids over for his birthday. Lo and behold, when I told him to not dig, he was digging more holes anyway! (and we have a sandbox, so no, it really doesn't help- it is a different kind of digging altogether. Mine likes to also stack bricks and boards to make bridges, etc., so I know about the dams and mud... which is why we still send him out in rain pants when it is dry outside)... In any case, at that point, I did have him write a behavior plan, similar to one at school, stating the problem and what he would do the next time. Sometimes, the consequence is losing that outside time, coming in right away, and/or losing access to the bigger shovels/digging tools. (they are child-sized but can create quite an adult-sized mess very quickly!) I'd just make it the rule that if he digs outside of his designated area, he is done out there for a while.
I would encourage sons interest whatever it may be.. .. That is way more important than a perfectly landscaped backyard.
He is only going to be into the digging and exploring for a few more years..
Or else find a place in another area of the yard. Make it an "Outdoor science center.."
Make the chicken coop smaller or do away with it all together. Change the swing set around a bit for more room. Have him be part of the conversations and work to be done. He is old enough to understand working and sacrificing for what you want. It doesn't have to be a big space but the back yard is his too and you want to encourage his exploration. Then put up a brick border and let him go to town.
Raised flower bed/garden, filled with dirt.
i just don't see this as a problem at all. you designate an area for your son to dig, and let him have at it. but he's not allowed to dig and mess up areas designated for lawn and flowerbeds.
why can't he catch the bugs for his lizard? my kids were ferocious bug-catchers. they didn't have to mess up the yard or create mud to do it.
:/ khairete
S.
That's awesome. I'm an only child and I remember me and my dog digging holes in the backyard, which was huge, and my mom waking up and freaking out. lol I'm 46 and I clearly remember that and how much fun the dog and I was having. I would also go through all the gardens collecting bugs. I remember finding a snail and its EGGS, when do you ever see that? I had boxes and jars of bugs all over the place! GREAT times! So I don't really have any suggestions but just understand that this is a great thing about your son. I hope you figure something out. Good luck.
Have hubby build him a bottomless sandbox where you were going to put the other sandbox you had in mind. There is some cool stuff in the dirt! Sneak some ed in there and tell him if he is going to do this, he has to learn about the rocks, fossils, and minerals. As well, he should learn about the earths crust, mantle, and core just in case he digs too deep :)
My husband and his brother were dirt bike riders. He says they tore up his Granny's entire backyard and made berms to ride their motorcycles.
It's great that hubby has made the yard beautiful, but if son has always been intereted in science, etc., then hubby didn't think things through and plan for his kiddo. Son needs a space. Hubby will have to make one for him because it's the family's yard also. Maybe they can work together to pick the space that works best for all.
Teach son how to return things the way they were. At the very least, the swingset area is his. He needs to leave the area where your 3 year old would swing clear of digging, otherwise, let him go. And natural consequences, if he loves to swing and play and digs to the point where he can't, you remind him that HE created that problem and needs to fix it.
ok , ignore the lady that said he's too old to enjoy the swing set. that's nuts. my kids are 8 and 11 and enjoy our swingset.
I'd either get the sand box and tell him that if he wants to dig he can do it there , or tell him he needs to stop digging. we are actually having this issue with our now 11 yr old. our dogs dig sometimes and she likes to get into the holes the dogs dig and sometimes make them deeper or fill them with water and make mud. I need to get some dirt and have her fill them back in , but I just haven't' had the time, prob going to be a summer project when they get back from grandma and grandpas.
He needs one spot where it's ok (and safe) to dig.
Make sure it's not where there are any buried power/gas/water/sewer lines.
Also - don't let him dig too deeply.
If a hole is so deep it could collapse onto someone or someone could get hurt stepping into it if they didn't know it was there - then it needs to be filled in.
Trenching in construction is one of the most dangerous things because of the possibility of collapse.
Maybe you could start him with a little garden plot.
Have it be an annual bed and he can dig it up every year.
What about taking him to places like a lake or beach where it's appropriate to dig? He can find bugs in a park. You could also offer him an option like "you can dig in this area here, but not there" and put down stepping stones where necessary. I would try to work with him, to encourage his love of learning and preserve his father's landscaping. Try to find a family balance between what looks pretty and what gets used. One day, the grass will be beautiful and your son will be grown and gone. Try to remember that childhood is fleeting.
my boys used to do that. Can you get a specif area, and make it look like a sandbox, but put dirt in it instead? Of course you would have to have some sort of cover on it if it rained so it wouldn't be a mud pit. Then again, your son might like that too!!
Try telling him "no" and taking away his "digging" equipment for a while. I understand that you don't want to squash his curiosity, but he's by far old enough to understand that this digging is destroying the backyard.
Buy the crickets and encourage him to find something else to do. My son loved to dig when he was younger and we got him a sandbox because he was digging in the rock bed beside our driveway. Then again, he was 3 at the time... at nearly 8... he needs to find something else to do.
He's probably too old to enjoy the swingset at this point, so unless you have a younger child(ren)... get that out of there and (as an alternate idea), give him a section to "garden in" and encourage him to plant things that will attract the bugs for the lizard.
If you can't do a designated patch in your own yard, then you need to take him someplace once per week to get out his need to dig and explore. Some of the metro parks in our area have natural playspaces, outdoors, where kids have permission to dig and build forts. Or, find a creek to go creeking in. Honor his need to explore, and if you can, set aside one area that is his to dig in and explore. Don't stifle this--he'll be unhappy and possibly resentful.... When he's outgrown or matured into himself more and doesn't need this as much, that is the time to make your yard a showplace. Now is the time to let him be a kid, get dirty, and explore the world around him with the joy that children naturally have.
Mulch is so nasty, it is decomposing wood chips for the most part. You might want to check it out by picking it up and sniffing it to see if there is a mold smell. I had my worst asthma attack from simply standing by the playground at the kids school during soccer practice.
I nearly stopped breathing. The mulch was so bad they came in and scooped it out and put in sand. If you go and check for debris in the sand box or give son a scooper the sand stays relativity clean and it's a LOT more fun than mulch.
