Need Help with Talking to Daycare Parent

I am a firm believer in the rights of the parent to decide these matters. I believe that anyone including the state who would try to over rule a parent in this matter is over stepping thier bounds. Although I believe that, I also believe that as a business owner you have the right to set certain boundaries.

If this child was in school, it would be time for a parent teacher conference. You have the right to run your business the way you see fit. Someone has to make a decision. Either the parents will comply with your wishes, or you will be letting them go as clients.

As a business owner and a parent, I can see both sides of this issue. As a business owner though, I think it is important for you to take a stand and put it in writing, offer the parents a written time of compliance, and move forward from there. As a parent I would say under no circumstances should you feed this child foods they have not approved.

I hope this helps.

Why don't you just take this one child off the program until they (the parents) are ready? How much money are you really going to lose if you provide a few cans of formula for another couple of months? Or, tell them that they must provide the formula. It's just not that difficult. If they make it so that you don't get reimbursed, then they can buy a can of formula and leave it with you.

When I used to be licensed and was on the program I did not put the babies on the program at all until they were a year. That was allowed back then. I had the parents provide the formula so it didn't hurt me financially. I never lost any kids because I didn't want to keep the extra menus for the babies. I just didn't like all the different requirements for the different ages or the extra record keeping.

Suzi

I read your request and went online to look at this program (I hadn't heard of it before). I think I found a link to a memorandum that addresses your problem. http://www.fns.usda.gov/cnd/care/Regs-Policy/InfantMeals/... I also read the response that suggested you not enroll the child in the program and saw a memo that states that this is not allowed also.
The key phrase that I saw that pertains to your situation is: As long as the infant is in care during the meal service period, the facility must offer the infant a meal that complies with program requirements. As with all children in CACFP facilities, an infant’s parent or guardian M. decline what is offered, and supply the infant’s meals instead. The key factor is that the infant must be provided access to CACFP meals.
I take that to mean that you have to offer the food for the baby and the parents can refuse it and offer their own food choices. I understand the parents preference, there are a lot of studies out there that support the idea of waiting to add other foods to a child's meal program. It can help with allergies and obesity. I hope this helps you with your problem. It looks to me like you don't need a doctors excuse to follow the parents wishes in this matter. Good Luck.

This baby needs to eat a nutrious balanced diet all the way around.I would once again tell the parents the note is unaccepted and it needs to be clear from the dr that no other food is allowed except Oatmeal cereal and formula. it has to be hard to let others feed a baby due to choking and allergic reaction but if baby has tried these with no issue then I would ask why he can't be feed.If you need to I would give the contact information to the service the case worker or whatever they are who provides the food and have them get in contact with mom or have a meeting at your home and make sure mom is there in attendance to understand the policy of the daycare.

J., as a mom (not a provider) i have to say that i think these parents are being unreasonable. the first thing i'd do as a parent, if my sitter suggested something, was assume she's probably right since she's had way more experience with kiddos than i have, then i would research online what she was asking (i'm not just saying that, i've done it, with teeth brushing, potty training, time outs, etc). there's no reason an 8 month old should be purely on formula and cereal. it's not an issue of when the parent is ready, it's an issue of when the child is ready. which it sounds like you feel he is. if the child is ready developmentally, then it sounds like the parents are just being either lazy or wanting their child to stay an infant forever. either way it doesn't make much sense. i know my son practically fed himself by 8 months and if i had attempted to keep him on only formula by then he'd have probably beat me up! but that's just my kiddo.

having said that, unfortunately not every person in the world is blessed with common sense or common courtesy. making your life harder apparently isn't a concern for them. i say take the child off the program. let them know ahead of time, that if they aren't willing to follow it that's fine, but you will have to charge more or they'll have to provide the formula, whatever the consequences will be. it's not a punishment, it's not you being judgemental, it's just like teaching a child - if you do this, then the result will be this. make it a choice for them. just decide how you want it to work, and let them know what their options are. unfortunately this is still your business, and you have to put your foot down. hope it all works out. maybe you can get through to them. good luck!

I think you've done everything right and are being professional about it. I would write the note yourself, as you believe it should be worded, and give it to the mom and ask her doctor to sign it. Just tell her plainly that's the previous note was too vague and the state would not accept it. So, to make it easy for her, you're providing the note, all she needs is a signature.

Honestly, if you are having these kinds of issues already with this parent, you will most likely have lots more in the future. You need to be firm with them and tell them that they either need to comply with the restraints that you are forced to adhere to or find somewhere else to take the child. It is always hard to send a child away that you have come to love but you have a business that you are running and your other kids and family have to come first. It is important that the parents be allowed to raise their child the way they wish but at the same time, they are choosing to work so they have to live with the rules that you as a provider must live by. Nip it in the bud now or the parents will continue to walk all over you.

I am also a provider... as I understand it, parents have the right to choose what age is "developmentally ready" for their child to start solids. Have you called your food program? I have an 8 month old that has been served 0 solids... formula only at my house. Mom wants to do the solids only at home for now. She signed the decline and will provide solids on her own. My advice is call your food program servicer... I've never heard of needing a doctors note. Remember... you must offer the food, he doesn't have to eat it.

An 8 month old doesn't NEED anything except breastmilk or formula so yes, the state program is out of line. Explain this to her again, perhaps write a "fake" note she can take to the doc so they can copy it.

I'm not quite sure how that program works, but I have to say I side with the parents. It's up to them as to when they think the baby is ready for veggies/fruits. As a mom who waited later to feed my kids baby foods, I don't understand why this baby should have to have the food before mom and dad are ready. Couldn't the parents just provide formula and cereal for the baby until he get older. Then, you wouldn't have to worry about the state dictating what the baby has to eat.