Need Help with Potty Training 4 Year Old....

I probably wouldn't back off on the potty training of a four year old. But I would back off and the pressure of it. Do NOT go back to pullups. Those things make potty training take SO much longer! Maybe just back off a whole lot on the pressure that he's feeling. Keep him in underwear, gently remind him, give him a TON of praise when he goes in the potty, and gently mention that it's yucky to go in his pants or something. With the poop, I would give him time to figure that out.

I guess my main point is to make sure to be very positive about it all. I know it has to be maddening! Back off on any pressure he might be feeling and just encourage him. Again, though, I personally wouldn't go back to pull ups. He's old enough that he needs to be in underwear. He sounds really stressed about it though.

are you using a big potty or a potty chair?? the reason I ask is my 4 year old would not use the big potty but would the potty chair when we where potty training her. it played music and she loved it. some kids are scared of the big potty. ( from experiance in potty training any kids in daycare) I also use to put a peice of toilet papper just one squARE and would tell the boys to sink in likea ship that worked. I have also made a calander and everyday they went to the potty all day they got a smiley face. if they got one all week we would go to chucky cheese or some place fun ( when i was a nanny of a 4 year old boy with the same problem)

I hope this has helped
Good Luck
K.

Is he scared of the potty? When my son was little he saw a tiny little story on TV about a snake getting stuck in the pipes in an apartment building like in China or something weird, but he somehow developed this fear of the toilet...and of course never told us the real reason he was having accidents. You just never know what kids are thinking sometimes! After many accidents and frustration we finally got it all worked out. I would suggest trying the pull-ups again. Ask him in the morning if he is going to be a big kid and wear underwear or a little kid and wear pull-ups. Just let him decide and don't make a big issue of it.

You may want to give it a rest for a little while. He seems to have figured out that this is really important to you which is either making him stressd out or giving him a sense of power.

Ultimately the thing that did it for my little guy was making him clean it up him self. He had to remove the underwear, dump the mess in the toilet, wipe himself off, and put the undies in the wash. He gagged the entire time and I did have to "reclean" him but it cured him. As long as it was my problem, he didn't care, so I made it his. (Love and Logic principle) Good luck.