Need Help with Appropriate Discipline for My 2 Year Old

My son will be two this month and I have worked very hard on the following directions bit with him. I think in order for a child of any age to understand what you want from them you have to show them. When I ask my son to pick up his toys I get down and help him and show him what toys to pick up and where they need to go and when possible I even put colors and counting in it and make it fun. I have also learned myself that getting down on his level and looking him in the face and having him look at me when I am asking something of him makes a difference because I know then that he hears me. Because as we all know selective hearing starts oh so early! I wish you the best.

Boys will be boys! It seems boys have a lot more energy than girls at this age. Does this little guy have a way to get all this energy out (i.e. gymboree, lots of playing outside)? Boys tend to be more aggressive with younger siblings but you may want to give him more one on one time. This could be a cry for attention. When he hits the baby I would have him apologize so he realizes what he did and put him in time out. You should be firm and consistant. As for picking up toys, well, make it a game, but remember he is 2 so don't expect much. Introducing this idea is the only thing you can do at this age. They really don't do this till they are a bit older. In a nutshell - If you get frustrated just step outside then come back to the situation and be calm. Be consistent with whatever you decide to do (I would suggest time outs with apologizing and explaining what he did wrong) and be firm and calm with him.

I would check with your local library for a Nanny 9-1-1 book. Also consider checking out the weekly tv show as well as SuperNanny. I believe that show also has a book, although, not sure all libraries carry both books. Local book stores (or shopping online) should also assist you in finding the book. They have many tips on how to deal with parenting issues and how to deal with them.

I would say time-outs work really well with that age group, but you must be consistant! Consistancy is key in parenting at any age. Tone of voice is another.

Good luck.

My suggestion is consistency - not only in how you discipline, but also in what you expect from him. If you don't "always" expect him to pick up his toys, he won't understand when he should. I don't think 2 is too early to start forming habits, rewards and consequences. The earlier something is introduced the easier it will be to maintain those behaviors as your kids age. Obviously, these expectations and disciplines should be age and situationally appropriate.

The problem we had with our son was finding a reward or punishment for him that mattered because time-out or promising a special time together (dinner at McDonald's, extra tv time, etc.)didn't make any difference to him. When we did finally find something that affected him and we applied it everytime he misbehaved in a particular manner, eventually he "got it". Now he is almost 6 and he knows what to expect when he doesn't meet our expectations for him.

Best of luck to you.

Have you tried to "help" him put the toys away and make it a game? My daughter who is also two loves to help put toys away but only if I help her. If I tell her to put them away she just looks at me and laughs. Then if I get on the floor with her and we both pick up toys and I tell her good job YEAH! she gets excited and will pick up more toys just to hear me say yeah. As for the disipline are you consistant? With my daughter we count to three and she goes to time out on the bottom step every time if she doesn't do what we asked her to do. If she doesn't go on her own we walk the over there by holding her sholders. This is so she knows we mean business then if she gets up before we call her over we place her back on the step without saying a word to her. She has to sit on the step for two minutes if she wont after two minutes we make sure she sits for one minute on the step before we let her up. Most times she is there for about 5 minutes because she wont stay on the step. I would just try different things to see what works for you son. Just make you give it a fair try I would say try one thing for a month and if you haven't seen an improvement try something else. You might check to see what your child care provider does to disiplin him so you know what works for them and implament it at home. That is how we found time out works for our daughter. We have when we are with nices and nephews if a toy is causing the problem we will out the toy in time out and not let them have it back for the night. Other then those things I don't know what will work for you all.

K.:

Make sure that you have realistic expectations for a two year old. "Help" him understand what you want/ and do not want him to do. Time out is usually a good place to start. Remember to be consistent. You might want to check out 123 Magic or Toddler Love and Logic.
A. L

My kids are about the same age. my son will be three next month and sometimes i worry he may be playing a little too rough with his 9 month old sister as well. when he starts getting rowdy i try and get him to hold her gently and realize how small she still is. maybe compare the size of hands and feet and remind him that he needs to be gentle because he is so strong. he likes knowing that he is her protector and big brother and that usually helps for a little while. good luck!

Try putting him in time out. That is what I've been doing with my 2 year old.

I think he is pretty young to be expecting him to understand disipline. Putting toys away? Good luck to you! Ask moms of teenagers how that is going. Being rough with your baby is a bit different, of course. The best advice I ever got was to physically remove him or make him stop the behavior. They hate losing their autonomy, because being two is all about control. Example; if he won't give back a toy he took, take his arm/hand and "help" him to do it. He would rather do it himself and will if he thinks you might do it for him.

The best thing I can tell you is that if he really is full of energy, make his punishment be holding still. He's still pretty small, and holding him in your lap so that he can't move for five minutes is going to be punishment for him, and relief for your tired feet. It's a win-win!! Good Luck!!!

When my son was 2 I could hardly keep up with him. I have 3 herniated discs in my back and that made it so much harder since I could not chase him down to swat his butt or hand let alone hold him down or make him stay in time out. What I found that works with me is that I start doing something crafty on the floor or the table. Eventually his courious mind gets him to come to me without saying anything to him at all. My kids were about the same age as yours were too so I have to find things that both could get into fun for him and something the baby can do without actually knowing what to do or get hurt.

Once I found a few crafts he loves like playing with the color wonder markers and other things when I don't have time or the ablility to clean up a mess I would tell him that if he can not clam down and be a good boy then we can not have craft time. It took him about 3 weeks to get that I ment it. But it works well now and he is nearly 4 and she is 2.

color wonder or painting with pudding works great with kids at that age. You still need to supervise so they dont get the pudding all overe the house or so your little one dont try to suck on the markers like a nook or bottle LOL.

I would even cut holes in paper plates and use a hole punch or stick to make masks too. My older one loved to decorate them and the younger one was just happy playing peek a boo with them!

It helped concentrate their energy and help get them to focus on 1 thing at a time instead of bounceing off the walls.

Even a month later I was able to start watching movies with the kids and they'd sit down and actually watch them and it gave me a chance to talk to them and increase both their vocabs but telling them what things were.

Mys on has a little trouble saying certain things who is nearly 4 now but my 2 year old girl who just turned 2 now has a vocab larger then most of the 5 and 6 year olds she plays with outside because we talk about what we see when we watch tv. SOmetimes I sneak away for a few mins at a time to get the housework done but I work a few mins at a time talk to them for 5 and keep going back and forth. I tend to do the same now with the crafts now that my youngest is 2. Sometimes I can even read a book next to them while they play quietly for the most part. We are still working on the inside voice and outside voice but that is a whole different thing. Good luck and always keep in mind that you will always have bad days with them but the goal is to have more good days then bad. No child will ever be perfect but if you have more good days then bad your on the right track at least.

I was really really helped by the book Making the Terrible Two's Terrific by John Rosemond. Half of the book is practical questions parents have had. It is worth the time to read it.
Godspeed

Choices, Choices, Choices. It doesn't work in every situation, but it will take the stress off to help you get through others. I used to teach inner-city and firmly believe in this concept and have seen it work with some of the toughest kids - not to mention my own. A great book/series is Parenting w/Love & Logic. They even have one on toddlers. My 2 yr. old is very hard headed, stubborn, wants it all done her way, and is always looking for trouble. The smallest choices even that give her control make life so much easier. IE. I figured out it worked with her when one day I asked her to give me something - she wouldn't do it. I said "okay, you can put it in my left hand or my right hand" and held out each hand. She handed it right over. A lot of times she doesn't want to changer her diaper and she'll run from me. I'll ask her if she wants to come back to me fast or slow. Make sure the choices you give are choices you can live with. Don't give choices like "you can either put all your toys away or stay in your room all day" if you've got a ton of errands to run! instead offer "would you like Mommy to help your put your toys away or do it all by yourself?" Lots of times she won't pick something up or do something and I will pick her up, help her pick it up, put it away/throw it away, etc. and then put her in her crib for a time out for not being a good listener. It's beginning to set in. Love & Logic says that having a teenager and a 2 yr. old (which we have both!) is so similar - they are each trying to set the boundaries and see where they fit in in the world. Just stay consistent and firm! But remember it all takes time! Good luck!

I also have two kids that act the same way. The only thing you can do is put him in time out or send him to his room for a little bit. This is what I do with mine.
Tammmy

Have his hearing checked. My sister-in-law had a boy that would never respond and always played too rough. They eventually found out that he was almost deaf in one ear and had significant hearing loss in the other. He was always disfunctional when interacting with others and responded by being aggressive.

Once they found out about the hearing and had it corrected, along with some play therapy, he improved tremendously!

Hope you find a solution. :)

I think that expecting a two year old to follow commands all the time is a little much to expect. Is he two almost three or barely two? This is also a big factor. If he is almost three than it can be expected that he should learn to follow commands with help; but if he is barely two I wouldn't expect to much to quickly. I would watch his sugar intake if he is too hyper and when he plays too rough with the baby explain to him that he need to play gently with the baby and show him what you mean by that. It will take awhile but he will understand. As far as the toys go have him help you pick up the toys and tell him as your doing it what your doing, that way he can associate the task with an action. He is still very young and will get there in time. You might consider making up a song for clean up time so that when you start singing the song he knows what time it is.

Good luck

i have the same problem and spanking doesnt work neither do timeouts i have found that redirection and example work well although i dont stick to anything well so they dont always work. as for the rough playing i bought my oldest boy a baby doll of his own and i let him help me with his brother and that seemed to work very well. if there is a daddy in the picture they dont like boys playing with babydolls very much so maybe a cabbage patch boy doll or something

Check out Love and Logic - see if your library has any info on it. It's wonderful for you and therefore your child! Check with your school district too - if they have a preschool or a screening program, that is where you should check. Otherwise, I am sure there is info on the internet. It is life changing and I hope it helps you! Hang in there!