Need Help Please

This sounds like my second child. What I did was began pumping when she was 2 weeks instead of putting her on the breast. Not only was I able to monitor how much she was eating, I also was able to spend time with my 3 yr old cause "dad" could feed once in a while. Good luck. B. W.

Check out Parenting with Love & Logic. there are books, videos, and classes--frequenty at churches, but we attended them through the school district. Read about it online and see if you can buy into it. It works on kids under 12 months and teens as well. Good luck!

You may have a bad latch, although it's not unusual for a little bitty baby like that to nurse very frequently. You may also be switching breasts too quickly, and he is not getting hind milk. Does it still hurt to nurse? That would indicate a latch problem.

It's honestly difficult to be sure via a web post, so I would strongly suggest you see a lactation consultant. It can be expensive, but lots of insurance will cover it as a claim for the baby. They will be able to help you understand what is normal and what you may or may not be doing right/wrong. If you can't afford that (and even if you can), go to La Leche League meetings. They are so helpful; you will get a real boost from attending.

Good luck; try your best to stick with it!!!

I definitely understand what you're going through. My little one wanted to eat all through the night also. I would suggest putting your baby in a bassinet or packing play next to your bed. That away he can get used to sleeping on his own but you're still close enough to nurse him when he gets hungry. I think that it just takes awhile for them to get their days and nights in order. I think that my baby was around 2 months old when her feedings started stretching out some. Maybe you could pump some and get a supply stored and let your husband feed him during some of the night feedings. I don't know if I'm much help. I know what you're going through but I just went with it b/c it was my first. I would definitely try getting the baby used to sleeping on his own though. Hope something I've said helps. Good luck and happy holidays.

First I want you to know I completely understand, you are not
alone in this situation. A lot of it has to do with your state of mind Try setting your mind to the fact that everything else will wait and you are a nursing mom that has to nurse your son. It is the best and most important thing that you are doing right now. You may need to change your diet a little to eat more things that give you the energy to feed your son and get you through the day. I clearly remember sitting and crying while I nursed my son every two hours for months on end I learned from that one and went with the flow with my next two kids. Also remember nursing releases a chemical in our bodies that will make you sleepy so lack of sleep and that makes us women zommbies for a while. Now it also sounds like your son has his days and nights mixed up a little and he is needing a little extra sucking time He is not eating for 45 minutes he just likes being attached to you and needs that but at the same rate you can't just sit there for 45 minutes I would give him extra sucking time but break it off after a certain amount of time. I would start slowly to put him on a different schedule start waking him up during the day and feeding him at different times and put him in his own bed at night don't let him nurse for an hour at night, nurse him till you think he is done and wrap him in a blanket and put him to bed. Every two hours is about right for nursing but less then a half hour long. Remember to just hold him at different times during the day while you are not nursing so he gets that closeness.
It always helped me to set a time frame of how long I was going to nurse my children I usually set a five month time frame that way in my head I knew there was an end. I loved nursing my children but it is very hard and takes a lot of us.
Oh another thought I would nurse when my other children napped so we all would nap at that time of day I couldn't help but to close my eyes and nap in the middle of the day so remember it is ok for your to nap when the kids nap.

I think those of us who have babies like these try to block out those first six weeks...my daughter was the same (she is 3 now), as was my son(14)...but both of mine were preemies...breastfeeding preemies can be a major chore...and the type of feeding you are describing went on for several months for me but it should level out for you at around 6-8 weeks or so...stick with it and have faith that the time spans start to spread out a little further and they get a little more settled in their new surroundings...you might want to try one of those little beds that you can set him in in your bed so you can get a little sleep (mine actually slept on my chest for nearly a month)...or have your husband do a middle of the night bottle for you...you can pump breastmilk and mix in a little formula to make it a bit heavier in the tummy...try to get a little extra rest...i remember those days well and 4 straight hours of sleep did wonders for feeling more alive and human again after weeks of catnaps!...good luck and congratulations on the little one...if you need any extra support feel free to message me.

Hi T..
I am still breastfeeding my 14 month old daughter. At that age she was still nursing every 2 hours or so. Like some of the other moms have said there were times, like growth spurts, were she would nurse every hour or so. How much is your son nursing before you put him down for the night? I found that I often had to wake my daughter up and make her nurse more right before bed to get her to sleep better. Still she would only sleep for about three hours at a time up until she was about two months. If you can stick in there it will get better but it may take another month or so. Good luck and if you want more help with breastfeeding feel free to email me or contact your local La Leche.

If you have a breast pump I would try pumping and giving him breast milk from the bottle. I work full time so I have a double electric pump and depending on how often I pump I usually get somewhere around 10 oz in about 20 minutes. By two months old my son was drinking between 6-8 oz bottles at a time. Roughly 6 bottles a day. It shortened the amount of time that I had to be "nursing" and allowed him to get more milk at one time. When they nurse it comes out so slowly and they have to work at it so much that they often times stop nursing before they are completely full. I am not a firm believer of scheduling an infant or restricting the amount of breast milk or formula they get. If he is hungry I feed him and he has developed his own schedule, which is pretty consistant. I have manipulated him/his nap schedule a little by keeping him awake in the late morning so that he can take his nap at the same time as his big sister (2 1/2). That way he takes one long nap with her instead of several cat naps as he would like to do but otherwise he has set his own schedule. I discovered the benefits of breast milk in a bottle when my daughter was almost two months old. Up until then, I was nursing exclusively but since I was going back to work I started pumping and one night I thought I would see if she would take the bottle before I went back to work and she was stuck at day care and wouldn't eat. AND wonders never cease, she drank almost 7 oz and slept her first night through (almost 7 hours!!!). Unfortunately once she got started on the bottle she preferred it to the hard work of nursing but each child is different and my son easily switched back and forth between nursing from me or taking breast milk in the bottle. Now he is 8 months old and already has 5 teeth and I prefer to feed him from the bottle. Once you child takes a bottle you can also supplement with formula if needed to fill them up a little more for night time. Check out La Leche League for storage info on breast milk. It is the greatest stuff ever. Sorry this is so long but I hope it helps some.

Okay, I had the same problem with my little guy. He's 5 mo old now. There is a name for this its called a "high need baby" by Dr. Sears. I was the same way absolutely stressed and exhausted! So what I did is just give in to it. No matter what you do, or try to do it won't work. Schedules are not in this kind of babys vocabulary... demand feeding is what will work and my only advice to you is hang in there or go to a support group with oter moms like the same situation. I still struggle but I just realize that he is very smart and curious about his surrondings. What helped me was a book by Dr. Sears called "The Baby Book". It talks about the high need baby. Also theres a website called askdrsears.com. Hang in there it gets better.... I think.

By the time I had my little girl, she was number 4, I had learned to sleep while breastfeeding, or so it seemed! I can totally relate to this! I found that supplementing with a formula right before bedtime helped. It takes them longer to digest it, where as breastmilk is digested so fast. So they would sleep 4-6 hours before waking up for a feeding. It sounds like your baby is going thru a growth spurt and things should progress to normal soon. Try a gentle formula and maybe mix it with pumped milk so he doesn't feel like it is too different, this could upset him at first, but he should adjust. Also, let dad take at least one of the middle of the nite feedings, I swore sometimes my kids just missed me at nite. If he is the one doing the feeding eventually your baby will get the cue that nite time is for sleeping! Good Luck and take care of you!

i see youve gotten a lot of advice and great tips...so ill keep mine short.

i know its hard and is testing you mentally and physically, but you are doing a wonderful thing. it sounds like he is doing just about what a normal one month old should do. and remember (when listening to others advice/stories) that all babies are different. if he is going through the right amount of wet diapers and seems happy and alert when awake then he is fine and getting plenty to eat. he will let you know if he is hungry.

i have three...i had a horrible experience breastfeeding number one and barely gave it a chance with number two. but was determined to give it a go with number three and it was still difficult for the first few months but as they get older and I got better at it...breastfeeding became a joy and we did it until she weaned herself off at around 12 and 1/2 months. i was actually a little sad and even now still miss it sometimes (she is 16 mo now).

godd luck and keep up the hard work ;-)
B.

I would suggest contacting the lactation consultants and the hospital you delivered at and/or La Leche League. I attend both support groups and would have never made it through without the advice and knowledge of the lactation consultants. It does seem as though they eat constantly and there unfortunately is no set answer as to how long your little one should go between feedings. My almost 4 month old still eats every 2-3 hours during the day but has been able to stretch out at night to 5-8 hours-which is great. So, know there is light at the end of the tunnel! I, too, considered formula multiple times and felt like I was trapped with breastfeeding, but I know feel it is worth it and feel happy I pushed through the hard times. One of the best pieces of advice is that "this too shall pass" as in the moment it feels like it will last forever, but in just a month or so, you will look back and see how different everything. I, too, was most affected by sleep deprivation and still think that is the hardest part about a newborn. Our baby never slept in the bed with us but sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed. He also slept in his car seat in the bassinet for a couple of months and he slept very well there. I'm still struggling with when to move him to his crib and how to do so, so the questions with sleeping and breastfeeding seem to always go on (now he is starting to teethe!!). The lactation consultants can answer all of your questions personally and even work with you if you would like. The support groups are great to meet with other moms so you don't feel so alone. But, if you chose to switch to formula, it will be okay, too. Best wishes and know you are not alone!!

Hi T.! I know how exhausting it can be to breastfeed, ecpecially in the beginning. However, I want you to know that this is very normal and typical behavior from a breastfed baby. My best suggestion on how to get through this rough time is to find support from other breastfeeding moms who support your want to continue breastfeeding. I found La Leche League to be such a wonderful, supportive, understanding group of women. Please check out your local LLL. They will give you support and advice on how to get through this. Here's the link to find one close to you.
http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Stick with it. I PROMISE, it will get so much better and it's sooooo worth it.

K.

p.s. I read somewhere that on average you will spend 6-8 hours a day breastfeeding a newborn! It's like having a full time job in the beginning. But, like I said... it will get much better and your right on the hump of that happening.

Wow sounds like me when my son was born, if felt all I was doing was nursing him, seemed no sooner I was done and he wanted me again. Babies should be fed atleast every 3 hrs, and what I would do is time how long u nurse on each breast, I would start out with doing 10 minutes on each breast then work up adding 5mins each time. My son nursed anywhere between 45mins to an hr each time he nursed. If you have to do all the nursing you can during the day the more you nurse the better the milk supply (and also drink lots of water) I always had water next to me while nursing. Make the last nursing mixed with formula and breastmilk instead of adding water to it mix in the breastmilk with it, nothing wrong with supplementing at night if you do all you can during the day to nurse. You need sleep, lack of sleep and lack of liquids will diminsh your milk supply.

Good luck
PM me anytime if you need to

G.

At that age (until about week 8), I averaged about 8 feedings a day and nursed every 2.5 to 3 hours during the day with the goal of getting 6-7 feedings in during the day and then at night, I would nurse him once. (The goal is to get most of the feedings in during the day... so plan an early starting time. Also, I never let him sleep more than about 4 hours at night before feeding.) After he started losing interest in so many feedings (around 9 weeks or so), I stretched to a 3 to 4 hour routine and was feeding about 6-7 times a day (once at night; however, around this time Ian started sleeping about 8 hours through the night so it went to 6 times during the day). As he got older, (he is now 5 months). Around 3 months, he went on a 3.5 to 4 hour routine getting 5-6 feedings in a day (which would mean his bedtime feeding would come earlier than this.) Ian started cereal a couple of weeks ago, and he likes to have 4-5 feedings still. Getting feedings in during the day will help him straighten out his days and nights and sleep a little longer at night. Hope that helps!

One more piece of advice that my nurse gave me when I started out, beware of snacking or letting him use the breast as a paci. So, every hour is a bit much. If the little one doesn't get on a round about routine, then he may get used to snacking or using the breast as a pacifier... 20 to 40 minutes is probably about how long a full meal should take. (I think 30 is pretty average though.)

You can do it! :-) Breast milk is so much better than formula. Keep in mind, breast fed babies eat more often. Every 2-3 hrs at this age is normal. Also, it takes more work for the baby to get the milk from the breast, so they use more energy. Your son doesn't have to nurse from the breast to get the benefits of breast milk. Something that may make it easier on you & your son, is to pump & feed him the breast milk in a bottle. (we used the Playtex drop-ins, but I think they say not to warm milk in these now.) I did this from the beginning because our son was in the NICU & they wanted him to gain weight. Feeding from the breast burned too many calories. By feeding him from the bottle, your husband can help with the feedings, which my husband loved. (he's also a police officer) This gives dad & son a chance to bond & you a short break. Even though pumping takes time, you can do it on a schedule (every 3 hrs) until your little guys gets on a schedule. If he doesn't have to work so hard to eat, he may start to go 3 hrs between feedings. Pumping also helps to increase your milk production. You can freeze what you don't use right away. Another thing... you don't have to pump at night, so you & your husband can take turns getting up to feed the little guy. The nurses always reminded me that I needed to get rest too, which helps to increase milk production. I think I would go 6 hrs at night without pumping. I hope this helps. Keep up the hard work... it's well worth the extra effort. Good luck!

This sounds exactly like my situation when my son was a new born. He wanted to eat every 1-2 hours for a couple of months. He also didnt want to sleep in his crib at night, but would for naps during the day. I had to sleep with him on the couch every night for about 2 months. Its probably not safe though so I wouldnt recommend it.

I think my problem was I was not making enough milk due to having the depo shot at 6 weeks, although it seems he wanted to eat alot before that too. I never did get alot of milk when I pumped until about 2-3 months. Sometimes I would suppliment with formula at night. Do you let him nurse on both sides each time? I was only doing one side each time and I think that was part of the problem too.

T.,

I understand what your going through as does any mother who breastfeeds. Your son is going tjrough a grow spurt. It will last about two weeks. I had to tell myself that this was the best feeding choice for my son everytime we sat down to nurse. The best advice i can give you is to take it one day at a time. Also find a breastfeeding support group.Even if you can't go to the meetings all the time, you will have some phone numbers to call when you need advice or some one who will understand how you feel.

My daughter was the same way for several weeks-- I assumed it was a growth spurt. The hospital where you gave birth should have a lactation consultant that you can call or visit for free (I recommend visiting). If that hospital is too far away, call one that's closer to you. I got help from an LC that was at a closer hospital and they didn't charge me for it (though I was renting a pump from them). Hang in there, it will get better!

I breastfed my daughter every 2 hours at that age... I wouldn't let him go 3-4 hours during the day between feedings, I think that's too long. Sometimes she would have marathon nursing sessions where she would want to nurse every hour for 20 minutes or so. It wore me out, but I got through it! I read though that when they do the marathon nursing they could be going through a growing spurt or they're trying to build up your milk supply, and if they do it before bed time their trying to "tank up" for the night so they can sleep better. I find the more I nurse/feed my daughter, especially before bedtime, the better she sleeps. Keep in mind though, that 4 weeks is still really early to be sleeping through the night... at this point your son still needs to nurse overnight, and that won't change if you switch to formula. One pro with nursing is that it's super easy to prepare in the middle of the night, versus the alternative of making a bottle.

Sounds pretty normal for a newborn. However, if you think 45 minutes of nursing is too long -- could he be "comfort" nursing? You know, sometimes they aren't really eating, they're just sucking for comfort. You can tell the difference if you pay attention. Maybe you could pop him off a little early and see what happens. Good luck!

Hi T.!

Congratulations on nursing your baby! You're giving him a gift that will last a life time!

Now, these little bitty new borns need food more often than they will as they continue to get larger. It might surprise you to know that their little tummy is no larger than their fist... Once you think about that, you can understand why they need a refill more often... :-)

Right now, nurse him every 2 hours during the day time. If you let him skip and go 3-4 hours during the day, he will make up for it at night. So, even if he is sleeping, I would wake him back up during the day and nurse. (I know that is hard..). Also at this stage, he is probably going through a growth spurt, where he will want more food during this time.

There is a fantastic website called www.KellyMom.com and if you get a chance, go check it out. I think it will tell you what age the growth spurts usually hit (which helps to know that it's a phase and will change) and also about frequency.

These initial weeks are difficult, but would be no matter if you were breastfeeding or not (can you imagine having to prepare, preheat, properly store, clean bottles and nipples right now too???). The benefits outweigh the rest. And, I found that about 6-8 weeks, after that growth spurt, it's like a switch flips and you have a whole new baby! And, the longer you nurse, the easier it gets!

If you try this a few days (the every 2 hours nursing during the day), you might also notice a differance at night. I kept the bassinet (on wheels) by my bed for some time. That way, I could sit in bed and nurse, put her in the bassinet and wheel her a little away to sleep. And without getting out of bed, wheel her back and nurse her, put her back. It was less disruptive - although still, it's hard not to get solid hours of sleep.

I think we all feel like it's impossible in the first few weeks. Hang in there, get all the sleep you can, if possible nap when the kids are during the day - and the rest can wait!!

Keep up the great work!
You might also check with your hospital to see if there are any breastfeeding mom's groups around. I know that helped me so much (questions and social and seeing the mom's with the older babies - proof that mom's do live through this period!)!

Best wishes to you on this awesome work you are doing!
K.