Need Help Getting My 3Yo on the Potty

All children work at their own pace.... My Son was 4 1/2 before he potty trained! IT SUCKED!!! I hated changing poopy diapers on a 4 year old! But it seemed the harder we pushed him to go on the potty the harder he fought back not to. Every time I changed a diaper I practicly had to bite my toung not to scream at him. A little after his 4th birthday I put him in those thick underware... every time he messed him self, I made him clean it up. I made him wash out the poopy underware or wash his pee covered legs... after a few week of that, he was done! He hated to clean up the mess and started going on the potty. Be patient, it W. happen.

Once my son started acting a little interested and we could tell he was capable, we just made a HUGE deal every time we went to the bathroom about how fun it was and how much we loved putting our pee and poop in the potty. We acted so excited about it and pretty soon he wanted to do it himself. We also did rewards (small treat or toy like 1 MnM) each time he tried. Each child does it on their own time when they are ready and capable (and willing). So my biggest advice is to make it look like such a blast, without any pressure, and let him instigate the rest. Good luck! It's hard to be patient, I know. Maybe put cheerios in the toilet for him to aim at to make it more fun (my husband's mom cut out the comic strips and let him pee on Spiderman, etc, and that's what worked for him when he was little).

first off... you are kind of like me... I have a 14 year gap and a 13 month gap with three sons (18, 4, & 3) :)

anyway.... I agree with the others... just relax, don't make it seem like a big deal..they all learn at different stages and it can take boys longer...........after you back off, he'll probably wonder what the deal is & want to try then, ... if he still isn't ready then, he W. when he's ready

Hi W.,
It is nearly impossible to be in a battle of wills with a toddler. You can make a toddler do some things... stay out of a room, but body functions like eating and going to the bathroom are something you just can not control. And the kids learn that fast. You have got to have their desire to please you and cooperate.
if that means backing off until the negative feelings associated with going to the potty fade a bit, so be it. Whatever system you use, be sure it has only positive feedback coming from you. The only negative should be the natural (and I mean natural) consequence of feeling wet(uncomfortable) for going in the diaper. (They do have specially designed diapers that feel cooler when wet now...I am not sure how well they work. Some folks swear by cloth diapers for this purpose.)
You W. probably get a lot more good suggestions from others writers here. But I still think a break is in order, just to clear the air of tension over this.

If you fear you've pushed too hard, you probably have. Back off asap! A power struggle over pottying leads to all kinds of trouble. You might get some ideas at the potty training class here:
http://www.InspiredABQ.com
The next one looks to be in March.

There's also supposed to be an elmo potty training game online? That could help with motivation.

HI W., My daughter was fully potty trained at 18 months and my son...he was FIVE! He just wasn't ready and all the stress on him (and us!) wasn't worth it. Then when he turned 5, he just did it and that was it! We didn't have an issue after that. So I just say let him go when he's ready! Good luck!

Dont worry, Dad! My son didnt decide to potty train till he was 4-1/2 and he's been perfectly fine since then. (one or two accidents along the way but only 1-2 in the 2+years since then! None of this "potty trained" but still pooping in his pants, etc) And late potty training doesnt mean anything for his intelligence - he is way ahead of his first grade class academically.

Just back off and dont even expect him to use the potty (which seems a little counterintuitive) and be patient (oh so very patient!) and one day, he W.! Either because he'll want new underpants with his favorite character on it, or because he no longer likes thick diapers, or because he wants to be like the other boys who run into the potty and then run back out to play, while he has to be laid down for a diaper change etc.

(You could make diaper changes at "inconvenient" times and just ever so slightly make it a little bit longer and more of a 'time away from play' thing. NOT as a punishment, just a inconvenience to him. Just ever so gradually increase that over the next few months-year until he decides he can get more play time by going to the potty on HIS own timetable. Wait a month or so before starting this, so that he forgets that you're trying to potty train him)

My younger son trained by 2 1/2, but my older one was almost 4. Every child is different. Have you talked to him to see what he thinks? Again, my younger son is extremely articulate so we were really able to come to agreement, but my older son took his time and while I don't remember, I don't feel he was as good at communicating. But you could try a conversation or two with him that makes him realize he's in control of it and he can choose to go in the potty and choose to receive a prize, m&ms, stickers, new underpants, whatever. Or he can choose to go in his pants.

Maybe your older son could "talk" to him as well. No pressure on either of them, just a big boy to big boy conversation.

They W. get it. Don't worry. Don't let it interfere with your enjoying the family life. After all, once they start going in the potty, you're always on the lookout for one. Diapers can be a little more freeing in that regard.

Hi W.,
The best thing for our first son at 2 yrs.(who takes time to learn just about everything) was going "commando."

You can wait for the weather to get nicer, so there aren't too many messes to clean in the house, but we're going to go this way with our second son, too.

Don't pay attention to anyone who thinks you should feel guilty for potty training your child (lol)- go for it!
T

Hi W.,
I have 3 boys and what worked for me was to put fruit loops in the toilet and have them sit way back on the toilet seat and aim for a certain color. I would say "Lets pee on the red one", and the next time we would pick a different color. I would just put 1 of each color in the toilet everytime we went potty. I also set the timer for every hour. They all thought it was so much fun! Then I let them pick out what kind of underwear they wanted to wear. When it was time to convert them to standing, I did the same thing w/ the fruit loops except we would pick out 1 color and 1 fruit loop to pee on. Just keep a baggie of them in the bathroom so he can decide as he is taking his pants down. I just tried to make it fun.

My son, who is now 4, was a late bloomer too. It wasn't until the summer before he turned 4 when he finally started going with it. I thought he would be easy for having a older sibling but I was mistaken. We just made sure he went to the restroom every 2 hours and asked ALL THE TIME if he needed to go. He W. get there when he is ready as did mine. Good luck!