Dear H.,
I am sorry to here that your parents are giving you such a hard time. How was it that they were able to take them away in the first place?
I am interested in your case, because this happened to my mom many years ago. And she was unable to get my sister back.
Also, I am a grandma of two boys 4 and 2. My daughter who is 24, married a jerk 5 years ago, and finally figured out that he was not the man for her, when he decided he wanted to have accomplished more than to play daddy. So she has come to live with my husband and I and her two teenage siblings.
It is difficult because she does not want to apply for any housing, or childcare benefits from the state, because the state will go after him for repayment. He "does not," or has yet to pay anything towards their care, but she says she has an "agreement" with him. She has said in the past that she does not want to hurt him, which I think is BS.
When she was married to him, the in laws lived within 10 miles of them, however they did not want much to do with the grandkids. The children s father, most of the day would play video games, while my daughter worked. He went to school in the mornings, and rarely picked them up from her job. He doesn't have a job, because he can't get one, because of a felony driving conviction.
My daughter now is talking about signing up for the National Guard, which would require her to go to 9 week training. Instead of leaving the kids with us, she says that she will just send them to their dad, and that the "other" grandparents can help him watch them. (The reason is because we feel that she should be applying for childcare, and housing to help offset the expenses of having them with us, and that we complain that they break things and whine too much.) She just does not understand. She feels that as grandparents, we should watch them for free, and that because she has no money, we should not require her to pay for rent here. (She does buy groceries with the food stamps the state has given her.) She most of the day spends time on her computer. We are retired and are trying to get our other kids raised.
I really don't want the children to go to their no good dad, and if she could pay for daycare, it would reduce the stress and help the 2 year old not be so bullied by his brother.
I have said enough, and probably have not helped you with what you are going on. But, at least you are not alone...
Hope things work out for you and your kids.
Blessings,
Cath