Need Help Getting Baby Boy to Sleep in Crib!!

This is a little uncomfortable but put the crib up to the high setting. Put him in the crib, face up or down depending on what you believe about having him on his stomach sleeping. Then rub his stomach or back with the other arm draped over his head or body as much as possible. Stay like that for a long time until he feels enveloped by you the same as being held. He needs the contact. He just wants to feel the same warmth and contact as when he is held. Eventually when he gets used to the crib you can slowly shorten and give less until he just needs a little patting and crooning.

A.,
You can spoil a baby, I have two that never ever slept in a crib. One is 5 and still will not sleep alone. Sometimes you need to let him cry but he will bll sleep in a crib. It will be beter for you in the long run.It's hard but sleeping with children or getting them to sleep by themselves later is harder.
Sharon

My kids would never sleep in the crib. I just "wore" them in a sling or Ergo. That way the baby was happy, the older siblings were happy and I could take care of everyone a bit easier.

The first 6 months were the worst for having two children. If you have been holding your beautiful boy during the daytime while he sleeps then it is only natural on his part for you to hold him at night as well. He isn't spoiled, he is loved, big difference. For advice, I would put him in his crib during the day off and on for a few minutes here and there. Gettting him used to the idea that his crib is a happy place, not one of withdrawl and seclusion from mommy. Make sure you are near to him so that if he starts to fuss, then you can get him right away. This will help alleviate his stress of being afraid you are not going to be there for him. The only other thing I have for this is that it passes quickly. It doesn't feel like it now, but it does. I had an 18 month old, and a newborn that didn't sleep at all, not until he was 3! He napped for 20 minutes here and there, but was always awake and screaming! He is now almost 5 and still doesn't sleep soundly throughout the night, but at least he doesn't scream all the time anymore! I hope this helps.

Hi A.! Isn't this so hard! I totally understand how you are feeling. I have 7 month old twin girls and an almost 3 year old. I wouldn't be ready to do cry it out and understand feeling like there aren't many options...so I have some suggestions and questions:
1. Do you have a set routine for bedtime?
2. Are you swaddling?
3. What time does he go to bed and does he nap well during the day?
I would recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.
When one of my girls was a bit older than that, I was dealing with the same thing. I was at my wits end, exhausted and weepy :). I had a friend visit and she helped me through CIO during the night. My daughter did well with it. She only cried for 2 nights and learned to suck her thumb and self soothe. Her sister was not ready for it though and really didn't learn to self soothe until recently.
A.

I feel your pain. My son was a reflux baby and needed to sleep unpright so he slept on me ALOT. Do you swaddle him? My son loved The Miracle Blanket http://www.miracleblanket.com/index.htm I highly recommend it. If he jerks in his sleep that could wake him up. Does he just not let you lay him down or does he wake up? I also had to do some major rocking, walking the floor, bouncing, etc to get mine to sleep then be a ninja getting him in the crib w/o waking him up. The swaddle blanket helped though because he wouldn't wake up so easily. I also still run a fan in his room for white noise. Pacifiers are a godsend if he'll take one. I would also say it is not too early to start a bedtime routine, that helped mine a lot as well. Hope something in that rambling helped you:)

...oh and about the cry it out thing, you know your baby and you will know when they are ready for that. 3 and a half months sounds early to me but every child is different. He may just need the comfort of his mommy right now although that puts you in a sleepless spot. I do like the bijorn idea below and the swing is great for naps...I would put my son in the swing and conk out on the couch and did not care if my house was a wreck! You need to sleep at some point, just do it when you can. Get a friend to take your other little one for an hour while you and the baby nap.

The only way that I could get my son to go to sleep in his crib was to let him cry it out. He refused to sleep in his crib and only slept in his swing with it in motion. Finally I just let him cry it out. But something else I did was use that Johnson & Johnson nightime baby lotion on him after his bath and then put on his sleeper.

I am in the same predicament. Our 4 month old only sleeps in his crib for about an hour, loses his pacifier and starts hollering. We have wheezing, teething, and ear infections already, so I chalk it up to that. I have put him in his car carrier and put that in the crib. It works and he sleeps through the night. If you find out any tricks please let me know, for he is almost to big for his carrier.

Thanks,
S.

I am guessing I am old enough to be your mother, but your SOS brought back memories to me. I subscribed (and still do) to the same thought of not being able to spoil a child with too much love. My oldest child was much like your oldest, and we were handling it pretty much the same way (with much the same result---sleep deprivation to the max!). We would hold him until he fell asleep, and so he came to expect it. When #2 comes along though, things NEED to change. It is a bit of "tough baby love" advice that saved my sanity and put everyone to sleep where they belonged. It won't happen overnight, but I can honestly say, within 10 to 14 days, things were much improved. Put baby to sleep in his crib (have a really good night time ritual like bottle, bath, cuddling then crib. He probably will cry much as you have come to expect. After a few minutes of him trying to console himself, go in (DO NOT TURN ON ANY LIGHTS) and put your hand in the crib, rub his back or side and just coo or sing softly to him. Don't pick him up (look, you know he is okay, just wants you, and you are giving him that by your touch and presence). Once he realizes you are there and not going to pick him up, he will tire and calm down some. Leave the room. You will probably have to repeat this A LOT, especially the first night or two. Stick with it. By night 3, the number of times I had to return to the room had decreased, and by about a week, the frequency of my returns had decreased. By two weeks, you should have some success and you will be a much better mother for having got a full night's sleep. You owe it to your daughter and yourself. Sleeplessness is the cause of so many illnesses and health problems, you must take care of yourself so you will be there for your kids. It is a lesson we moms seem to have a hard time learning. Good luck.

Both my kids hated the crib until around 4 months. Until them, they slept in the pack n play, car seat and bouncey seat and sometimes in bed with me. My kids had reflux so that is the reason they hated to lie on their backs. Do you know if your son has it? To get them used ot the crib, I put blankets at the end of the crib to make it feel "smaller". Then I started with naps in the crib and worked my way up to nights. We did have a routine (bath, singing, bed). By 4 months they were used to it and they love, loved their cribs until big beds. They never like sleeping with me in my bed which I think is so funny because most people will tell you as soon as they sleep in your bed they will never get out. Not the case with me!
Good luck

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. The book is awesome. My 1 year old has slept all night since the beginning of her 2nd month. She always naps and sleeps in her crib and sleeps well. Everyone comments on how happy she is ALL the time. It makes a huge difference for both you and your baby. I agree that you can't spoil a child that age but you can create a dependency for him that he thinks that the only way to sleep is in your arms. My sister has a 5 month old son and started him on the sleeping program a few weeks ago and just commented to me the other day how much of a difference she has noticed. Good Luck!

Hi A.,
When my 2nd was born I noticed she loved her car carrier and would always fall asleep in it. I knew with #2 I just had to do what I could to get through so she slept in the car carrier for four months! I would put the car carrier directly in the crib at night. I slept in her room for the first 3 mos. so I was always near by. It worked like a charm. I think she liked it because it felt cosy. At 4 mos. she tried to roll over in it and that was it, but by then the transition to crib was fine. Good luck!

i am 37 with two kids age 8 and 10 now.

cry it out. trust me he will stop, or buy yourself a headset and turn up the music so you do not hear the crying, he probably is starting teething...

after a a while he will learn. good luck... :)

remember small kids small problems, bigger kids bigger problems...trust me!

This is a hard one. I have heard "let them cry it out." and then I have carried mine on my back until I am completely exhausted. I don't know which is the 'best' for the baby -- to sleep for several hours or to sleep on Mommy. The "experts" say not to sleep with your baby...but I and many others did just that.

Hello, I'm new to this, but I have had some obstacles with my son as well in sleeping arrangements when he was younger(he's 1 1/2 now). I was like you in the beginning hating to hear my baby cry for so long and my husband insisted that it would work. Finally my husband and I picked a bedtime and put him down at that time. It was hard at first listening to him cry, but after about 15 minutes or so he would eventually calm down. Then after a week of that he started to get the picture. We also started a habit of bath, bottle, bed and that really helped out. They learn the routine and if anything I've learned that is very helpful for babies. I'm not saying this will work for you because every child is different I'm just passing on my experience for consideration.
I hope this helps you!

Ps We also switched to the Lavender lotion and body wash for bedtime I think it's by Johnson and Johnson in purple. I thought it helped sooth him.

K. C.

I'm right there with you! Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a wonderful book based on the idea that the whole family needs to be well rested. My 3 month old still won't do the crib during the day (thats our current project) but nighttime is much better now because of the book. I too am opposed to "just cry it out", so the methods in this book are a much easier adaptation of helping your baby to soothe himself. Now is the time to work on it as he is going to more likely to develop habits at this age than he was as a newborn. Good luck!

Hi A.. You are receiving all types of advice, so I will just share our bedtime routine with you. My son is four months and has slept in his crib at night since we brought him home. During the day he sleeps in a variety of places (carrier, crib, swing, my arms) whenever he is tired. At night, our routine is a bath or wipe down with a warm wash cloth, lotion and powder, warm soft pjs, then a bottle while I rock him to sleep in his room. We keep the lights off except for a night light and I sing to him. When his eyes and breathing indicate sleep for five straight minutes, I lay him in his crib. He sleeps through the night, usually for eight to nine hours. I know that I am very lucky, and my only advice is to set a routine that you do every night even if he cries all the way through. Eventually he will become accustomed to it and you will all be happy and rested.

Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child - highly recommended!

Personally, I think 3.5 months is too young to CIO . . . there are many other options. Other sleeping arrangements that can be worked out. We have 3 boys, the oldest just turned 4, so we feel your pain!

Check the No cry sleep solution book, it has a lot of pointers for babies that refuse to sleep. Have you try putting some piece of clothing with your scent in the crib? It worked for my son.

My advice would be to start letting him cry it out sooner than later. It doesn't have to be as harsh as putting him in the crib and letting him sceam for an indefinite amount of time. You start with what you're comfortable with whether it's one minute or 10. Then go in and soothe him without picking him up. The whole process took less than a week for us and the concept came from Ferber's book.

The routine is pretty important too, I think. Just like others have said, if you associate a new routine with a new sleeping place (the crib), he'll make the association soon. He is still very young but is definitely capable of putting it together.

My opinion is that it's not a good idea to let him fall asleep on you then to transfer him to the crib. He'll wake up, won't be in the same place and he'll either be confused or scared. Do whatever you have to do until he's very sleepy-his eyes can be closed, decelerated breathing pattern and the tell tale sign-his body goes almost limp. Then very matter-of-factly lay him in his crib.

Also, read as much as you can about baby sleep. Not so much techniques, but how a baby's sleep is organized and their natural rhythyms. Just understanding how they sleep made making decisions about his sleep much easier for me.

Hi A.,
We had a toy that projected birds and other things on the ceiling while playing sleep music that helped my #3 daughter go to sleep without screaming. Is the swaddling working? Make sure it is snug enough that your baby can't get out of it. Good luck and sleep when you can!

Hi there,

You might try reading Tracy Hogg's book, The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. I know, it's a really goofy title, but a lot of what she says really makes sense and she has some good "no cry' methods to help your baby learn to sleep on his own. It's a very quick and easy read too.

Best of Luck!
C. F., mom to 8 1/2 mo. old Greame.

We didn't want to let our baby cry it out either and I spent so much time shhhing and patting. My Dr said let him cry up to ten minutes. I was so tired one night that I gave it a try. Come to find out he only needed to cry five minutes and went straight to sleep. My husband and I have since watched as he wails one second and goes right to sleep the next ... in a very short period of time. I recently read that babies sometimes need to expell energy in order to get to sleep and crying is how they do it. I also read that picking him up wakes him up too much from the process of falling asleep. If you are uncomfortable with ten minutes, maybe do five or seven minutes. And if you go back in, just pat his back and do the shhhh in his ear. You will be surprised how fast he'll fall asleep with the help of a little crying. This process also teaches him how to fall asleep on his own. I've noticed with my son lately (he's 10 weeks old) that instead of crying he'll just stick his fist in his mouth until he falls asleep. So I think he's learned through this process how to self sooth. And just to say, he's never gone the full ten minutes. The average time is between five and seven minutes.

Hi A.,
I have 3 children ages 14, 9 and 5, and with all of my children I have had various problems similar to yours and I was always told to put your baby in his or her crib even though they may cry and it hurts you to hear them cry. Every 10 or 15 minutes (which to you will feel like 10 or 15 years ) go in and calmly speak to them and rub their back for a minute or 2 , but don't pick them up, then leave the room again. This gives them the messasge that this is where they need to sleep, but you are still there for them. You may have to do this for a week but hopefully it will work for you. Good luck.
T.

I know that he naps often, so I suggest you give the 3 year old something to play with or do that will keep him/her occupied for about 20 minutes. Do whatever you do to get him sleepy and lay him in the crib when his eyes have just closed. Yes, there is a good chance that he will wake, but at the same time he is learning to comfort himself. Let him cry it out for 5 minutes, then start the process all over again. Eventually you be successful. Hang in there. Boys seem to be more needer than girls. As we know.............. with our wonderful husbands.

I have a 21 month old girl who is 90% potty trained and a 7 month old boy. So trust me, I know you are sleepy.

We had lots of sleep issues with our son too. Best book for sleep.... Healthy sleep habits, happy child by marc weissbluth. It really helped me understand my son's sleep patterns and how much sleep and how often he should be sleeping during the day. Once I got him sleeping good during the day, nighttime became easy! The good news is organized sleep patterns really just start to come together at 4 months of age... so training your baby to sleep in his crib won't be as hard as it would be when he's 12 months old.

Have yu considered the "family Bed". Some folks like to all sleep together. I could not do it because our bed was too small and the baby makes little noises in his sleep that waken me. Babies do like to be close to you. Could you try a warm water bottle to lay next to the baby? AF

When my sons were small, we clipped a small machine that vibrated to the legs of the crib. We found them at the baby store. You can also use them to attach to the car seat to keep the motion going for things like stopping to get gas and restaurants. Hope that helps!

I also agree that "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is a valuable read. Read it now, since your son is right at the perfect age to start figuring out his sleep schedule. Once you know when he will be probably be ready for a nap (info provided in the book), you can start watching for the signs that he is ready to nap, and if you time it right, putting him down in the crib should be no problem.

Give the cry it out method one or two nights before discounting it...you may find it's not as bad as you imagined! Sometimes, they only cry for 2-3 minutes (take a quick shower, pop some popcorn, listen to some music) before they fall asleep. And the next night they may only cry 1-2 minutes.

One thing I have done during a cry it out phase is just sit quietly in the room, so that your child knows that you are there for him, and that you love him, but that he is on his own to solve this falling asleep problem. It's not easy, I would try to let my mind disengage to ignore the sound, but at least I felt as though I was supporting my child instead of just ignoring him.

Good Luck!

Hi A.. We had exactly the same problem with my now 5 month old daughter. What we tried was to transition her from holding her (or putting her in her swing) by putting her in her pack-n-play. We used the bassinet part of it. She would sleep in her pack-n-play with a sleep positioner (you know, the little wedge thing.) It took about a week or so, but once she was used to that, we tried the crib. It still took a couple of days with some fussing, but she was done by the end of the second week.

Oh my, my daughter, now five would not sleep in her crib either... I tried everything!!! I learned that she loed her car seat, I would strap her in and put her in the crib, she even loved sitting in it during the day! Eventually she did sleep all night in her crib! I am very big on routine!! I do however believe that you can spoil a baby! I also agree with letting them cry, it hurts us more than them!!!