Need Help ASAP

All children are different and should not be compared. I have twins and they are completely different. Why do you think something is wrong? Unclear, please explain.

Where are you located? I have a 7 year old with Cerbral Palsy...I know EXACTLY what you are going through and would love to help...if you still need it!
T.

First, all babies develop differently at differing paces.
Next, if you think something is "wrong"... go to your Pediatrician, or if it is a medical issue/emergency, go to the ER.

Next, if everyone is telling you something is "wrong" with your baby, try not to panic... but seek out professional advice, from your Pediatrician.
Do not "guess" what is wrong with your baby. Only get PROFESSIONAL advice/diagnoses.

And, make sure your baby is feeding normally and his/her growth/weight gain is normal. A Pediatrician will tell you if there are concerns or not.

Feed ON demand 24/7... and make sure baby is indeed feeding appropriately and latching on correctly... if not, they will not be getting enough intake. And lack of intake or inability to feed, can affect development.
For the 1st year of life, breastmilk/Formula is STILL the PRIMARY source of nutrition for a baby, not solids and not other liquids.

I recommend you see your Pediatrician. And tell him/her all your concerns, openly.

All the best,
Susan

S.,

You are a worried mom who really loves her child very much... and worrying IS one of our jobs as a parent!! Don't use a milestone market to judge your child... your child will be doing some things after the milestone line, and some things before that line. If you trust your pediatrician, and s/he has no concerns, then let it go and enjoy who your baby is! S/he has special gifts and talents that are emerging every day. Soak them up and enjoy!

I want to share this quote from Jiddu Krishnamurti (below). If we could all just do this, the world would be such a better place!

=== JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote ===

To bring up children without comparison is true education

One is everlastingly comparing oneself with another, with what one is, with what one should be, with someone who is more fortunate. This comparison really kills. Comparison is degrading, it perverts one's outlook. And on comparison one is brought up. All our education is based on it and so is our culture. So there is everlasting struggle to be something other than what one is. The understanding of what one is uncovers creativeness, but comparison breeds competitiveness, ruthlessness, ambition, which we think brings about progress. Progress has only led so far to more ruthless wars and misery than the world has ever known. To bring up children without comparison is true education."

Lots of Love,
Linda

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

http://rivieraplayschool.blogspot.com/

Call Early intervention (EI) for the state you live in. THey offer free help/evaluation of kids from birth to 2.

BTW....I was SUPER concerned about my first born until recently. You are a new mom and it is totally normal. My son was late in doing EVERYTHING!!!!!! ANd now he is 100% on track (he is now 22mo). Crawling, walking, climbing, interaction, pointing, talking, feeding self, etc all came later on the developmental scale. He was always late to do everything, but still within the developmental range.

I don't know your kid...and I am not an expert on this AT ALL. But, I worried, cried, and googled everything on the internet like crazy. (BTW, I was also going thru a stage of depression due to other issues in my life). I would stare at my kid and worry about anything that they did...... BTW nobody else thought anything was wrong.

I took my son to EI. They evaluated my son, and told me that although he was slightly behind in speech, he was 100% fine everywhere else. In fact, the psychologist told me that I NEEDED help for my depression. Anyway....once I GOT HELP, my son's development took off. NOw....I wonder why I was ever conserned.

Love you child.....accept them for who they are. Kids can sense your worry....

Go thru the process with Early Intervention, and most likely everything will be fine.

PS....Several people told me what I have jsut told you.....but I didn't believe them. But, now that I have gone thru it myself...I know that they were right!

Talk about your concerns with the pedatrician. He/she is your best resource, and can check your baby for important milestones.If the doctor says the baby is fine, then relax...children develop at slightly different times. God bless.

S.-
First off all kids develope at there own pace. no one kid is the same. second at his 9 mo check up did the pediatrician not seemed concerned with where your child was? Second i'd call the pediatrician and inform them of your concerns for your child. best of luck

Hello, Sweetie, all babies do things at their own pace. Don't worry about what your friends' babies are doing. Many years ago, my daughter was 6 weeks older than a friend's son, who was 6 weeks older than another friend's son. There was so much concern on the third one's part because the other one made comments about how the third child wasn't doing things that our babies were doing. I was so angry. First of all, people shouldn't compare children and second there was a big age difference.
If he/she is very far behind, check with your pediatrician about the development. Your baby might just "catch up" and you will forget this whole thing. Our first granson never crawled and didn't really talk good until he was 3 years old. He is now 13 and in the gifted program at his middle school and was on the Honor Roll all of last year. He is probably going to go into some kind of Science field when he is grown. He is very bright and his teachers all love him. He's pretty popular too. Go and figure. We worried when he was young, but not too much.

Good luck with your precious little baby.
K. K.

Hi S.-

All babies develop at their own pace but if you are worried, I would make an appt. with your pediatrician. He can give you a better idea then all of us can, because he has been seeing him for the last 10 months. If he sees a problem, or has any concerns at all, he might send you to a early intervention, or a regional center for an additional evaluation. I know that my daughter didn't walk until 15 months, and all my friend's kids were walking much earlier then that. My son started walking the week before his 1st birthday. My daughter also didn't talk much early but now that she is 13, sometimes I wish she wouldn't talk so much lol!

Anyway, Good Luck!!

Hi S.,
Please keep in mind that all babies progress at different rates, speeds, and time. But without any detail provided, if you are truly worried then you should contact your child's pediatrician.

10 months is WAY too soon to play the comparison game! The only comparison that I have made, is w/my daughter that does things almost 6 months earlier than my son did. Don't get caught up in comparing w/other babies. People brag, get competitive and point out what your child ISN'T doing...don't accept this, and love your child however he/she choses to develop!

Calm down :)

miss S.~
you stated that someting is wrong with your child, due to he/she not doing what other babies are doing. What is it that the baby isn't doing? Babies develope at different rates and you should not assume that he/she should be doing the same thing as the other babies. Within my group of other mommies the are children/babies only months apart as well as the same age and all theses children do not do the same thing. For example my daughter did not roll over as soon as the other babies did. It took her a few week to catch up. But now is the only baby actively crusing, so using other babies as a mark as to where your baby should be is not always acurate. To set your mind at ease set up an appnt. with your ped. and have he/ she assested.

I know it can be frustrating to see other people's babies doing things that your baby isn't, but you have to remember that all babies develop at different times. If you do think something is wrong you should talk to your doctor about it. But I would only be really worried if your baby isn't meeting any of the milestones.

It's hard, but try not to compare your child w/others. They all dev. at diff. times for diff. skills. However, if you are really concerned go to your ped doc or a Mommy group through your local hospital. Most hospitals have some sort of mommy support group w/nurses that can do skill tests and offer support.

Hi S.,

You will probably get a lot of responses with similar advice, but if your pediatrician is not concerned about it, there's a good chance that everything is okay.

While it is great to be a part of a community of other mothers and kids, sometimes it's tough when you see other babies doing things yours is not.

I went through the exact same thing with mine, thinking that she was not walking, talking, eating, etc. when other kids were proficient. Everything happened in due time, however.

For me, the thing that I learned about my daughter is that when she was attempting to master one skill, other skills sort of went by the wayside. For example, when she was learning to read, we could not get her to focus on her math skills. Once she got the reading thing down, her math skills picked up. I noticed the same things happening when she was a baby as well. Perhaps yours might be the same way, and learning one thing at a time.

Try not to compare your baby to other ones. It is much harder said than done, but in the end, they will all learn to do the same things. If you are concerned, though, I would definitely check with your pediatrician if you have concerns. He/she might be your best guide.

Good luck with your new baby!

L.

Although all babies develop at different rates (ex. my sisters baby didn't walk till 22 months) if you feel in your gut that there is something just not right you should talk to your pediatrician first. They can point you in the right direction. Best of luck to you.

Dear S.,
Do no compare babies. They all develop differently. My oldest son did not wave "bye-bye" until a long time after the age others were doing it. My middle son never had any type of baby talk and all of a sudden at 2 1/2 started speaking in sentences. You will have to be a lot more specific for me to determine if you little one has a problem. Are you concerned about verbal skills or motor skills? Make arrangements for his doctor to see him if you are worried. If he has concerned he will refer you to an occupational or physical therapist for evaluation. I am a retired therapist and have seen chidren who were not sitting up at 12 month all of a sudden catch up and develop normally. You must not be anxious, but see the doctor at this time. Congratulations on you beautiful blessing.
H.

Hi S., before you panic, realize that baby's do things at different time, For example our first baby, didn't crawl until 8 months, or walk until 13 months, late compared to some of my friends baby's reason I help him all the time, he was never on the floor because everytime I put him on the floor he cried, so being a new mom and not knowing any better or would listen to anyone so picked him back up, and that time I was 26 and I thought letting baby cry was neglect, I had no idea that I was hindering my baby from crawling and eventually walking, with our next two I put them on the floor and yes I let them cry, I knew at this point if they get frustrated enough to reach something they would try to crawl, well they were both army crawling at 5 months, hand and knee crawling at 6 months, and walking on their own at 10 months. It's all in how and when you do things. at 3 months old all 3 of my baby's were holding their own bottles, as well as mo0st of my daycare baby's, but the baby's I knew that were breast feed and weined at six months didn't hold their bottle, well they had not developed their hand and eye cordination because being on the breast, they didn't have to do anything but lay they, but with the bottle (Which breast milk can go in) they learn early how to cordinate the bottle into their mouth on their own. You were not specesify on what areas your 10th old wasn't doing like other tots his age, I've been a mom now for almost 26 years and a daycare provider for 12, and I have learned through mine own experiences with my kids, and watching others that Child Development has more to do with us parents and how and when we do things, than our baby's/children. Hope this helped some. J. L.

Hi S.,
First don't panic, babies are all different and is not advisable to compare yours with anyone else's. Second, and most importantly, check with your doctor, he will either assure you you don't have to worry, or guide you to start working on whatever might be wrong. Best of luck.

Hi S. -

You don't give enough information for anybody to help you here. You sound very worried and my heart goes out to you. Babies develop at different rates and most likely nothing at all is wrong.

Since you are concerned, the thing to do is call and make an appointment for your baby at his or her pediatrician's office. If you've already done that and have been told baby is fine, then consider joining a mommy & me group with an EXPERIENCED moderator, someone who has seen it all and has counseled new mommies. I don't remember how I found my mommy & me group, but it was somehow connected with St. John's hospital in Santa Monica. A wonderful woman led it. That was 10 years ago & I have no idea if she's still there. It helps to spend lots of time in groups & be around older women who've seen a lot of babies in their time.

For some reason, a lot of us, when our babies are young, spend a great deal of time worrying and thinking something is wrong or will go wrong. Almost always everything is fine. But what is needed is information, not speculation. Don't worry. Get checked out.

I wish you & your family all the best,
Colleen

Most states offer free developmental testing, particularly if children are not meeting benchmarks. Pediatricians are often not aware, or do not think the testing is necessary. Developmental specialists always know more about particular developmental milestones- they are trained physical, occupational and speech therapists that are trained to recognize delays and what might be causing them. My son did not crawl until 12 months, did not pull up until 15, and did not walk until 18 months. His pediatrician finally mentioned Regional Center (the agency in OC, California) when he wasn't walking at 18 months. I wish he had mentioned it sooner. He was in physical and occupational therapy once or twice a week until age 3 with some WONDERFUL therapists, now he is 7, top of his class, plays all sports and is completely, totally fine. I really think that the early intervention made ALL the difference in his development. We went through some scary times of blood tests, MRIs, genetic testing, but they all turned out to be nothing. I was so grateful for the knowledgeable therapists that talked me through everything and helped me to recognize what was concerning, what wasn't, and what I could do to help my son. Search for where to find testing in your area- it is absolutely a must, and something your pediatrician most likely will not push for.

I wish you could give an example of what you mean when comparing your child to other children. It doesnt necessarily mean that there is something wrong with your child because they dont do what your friends children do. Take your child to the pediatrician and request that he be tested for Autism, if in fact, your child is old enough to be tested for this. If your child was 4 and not doing what normal 4 year olds do, then I would panick. But the baby is a mere ten months old. When I was younger I would always hear new parents marvel at the fact that their child was "walking" at nine months. Everyone is not the same, every child is not the same and I have yet to see a 9 monther walking around on those little legs. Dont rush your baby. Let him/her be a baby for as long as they can. But if you are that concerned take your child to it's doctor.

Does your doctor ask about developmental "milestones" at well-visits? I assume your baby had one at around 9 months. If the doctor did ask you and wasn't concerned, your child is probably okay. All babies develop at different rates. My daughter was talking at 10 months, but didn't crawl till almost 9 months. She was totally fine. It all evens out.

Try not to worry too much.
Also please do not make a special appointment with the pediatrician, unless you are visiting a new one for a 2nd opinion or something - it clogs up the wait time for kids who are truly sick, as well as those of us who are there for well-visits and don't want to sit in a germy doctor's office, waiting forever. It also drives insurance rates up.

Hello S.. I'm not sure what milestones your baby isn't hitting, so it's hard to give advice, but all I can say is every baby is different, and if you feel concern, certainly ask the doctor. When your baby went to the doctor last month, did the pediatrician seem at all concerned about anything? My daughter walked at 8 months, and talked at 10 months. By the time she was a year old, she could say a lot of words, and shortly after that she was talking in sentences. My middle child on the other hand, didn't sit up OR roll over until he was 7 months, he didn't walk until he was 15 months, and he didn't talk (only grunted) until he was 3 years old. My middle child (my first son) is exceptionally intelligent (he's always been in the gifted programs at school and beyond his grade level in everything) and is very artistic. My daughter on the other hand is bright, but struggles with some things. Each child is different, and it's not fair to you, nor your baby, to compare him or her to other babies at his/her/ age. Good luck to you :)

First, take a deep breath. Babies learn and mature at different rates. Just make an appointment with your pediatrician, write down your concerns and go over them with the doctor. Even if something is "wrong" with your child, the earlier you get intervention, the better. I am sure your child is perfect and exactly how he/she is supposed to be.

You've got some great responses so far...I'll echo their comments. Please be more specific in your post. Talk with your child's Pediatrician. Children develop at different rates, so try not to compare. A an excellent resource that I consult all the time with my now 21 month old son is "Caring For Your Baby and Young Child: Brith to Age 5" by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Good luck and best wishes.

You sound panicked but you don't state what exactly you are afraid of. It's hard comparing infants to others because all kids are different. But what in particular worries you? If it is something healthwise, don't post here but ask your physician. If it's developmental, kids develop in different ways so stop comparing. Ask your doctor first and get a professional opinion. Try to stop comparing and know that everyone develops differently. If you have specific worries, please post them instead of being too general.

Hi Stacey,
May I suggest that you get the book "What to Expect the First Year"? This book tells what milestones your child should have reached by certain months. This may help alleviate some of your worries. Also, it will tell you at what point you should contact your pediatrician if there is something to be concerned about.
I am sure you have been doing your well baby exams up to this point. And if your pediatrician has not expressed concern, I am sure things are fine. You just may have a late bloomer. If you have not been doing your well baby exam, than it may be time to take him in. :)

Hi S.,

What are your concerns? Does your Pediatrician express the same concerns? I would take my child for a check up with his primary doctor and talk to them first about your baby's development. Have them check your baby's hearing, vision ect.. If there is truly a developmental delay then your doctor can refer you to programs that can provide infant stimulation, therapy ect.. These programs are free and provided through the regional center within your county. Please don't worry, every child develops differently. Good luck!

My dear friend S. my prayers are with you and your family. If you are really very worried make an appointment with your family doctor! right away:) Please Please do get a 2nd opinion!if what you hear is not or doesn't make you at ease! if you need me please e mail me at ____@____.com

sincerely,
D.:)

Every state has a free Early Interevention Program (Federally mandated), also knon as 0-3. check with your closest Department of Health for information on a program near you, or google Early intervention. Most programs will do a comprehensive evaluation to determine if services are needed
S.

Dear Stacey, it is hard to answer this note without knowing more details, what are the things that your baby does not do. Babies do things at different ages. Some sit at 5 months others at 7. Some are very serious and others smile more. Children come with their own package and the thing that I suggest is to be careful to compare, and expect the exact things that others do. As adults we do not act or feel the same way about things. I hope that you have a very good pediatrician, if not change. Do your mom and mother-in-law share your concerns? If you are close to them and trust their judgment, then you might ask if you or the father of the baby had similar issues.
At the bottom of all unless you notice serious problems relax and enjoy who [s]he is and what [s]he is capable of doing
Courage...
S. T

I don't know LA's system as I am in SD but there are two things you can do. One: pediatrician and Two: Regional Center. If you could provide a little more information, we may be able to give you feedback that would directly address your concerns. I'm very sorry you're are worrying so.

Jen

Hi S.,

I hope that things are a little better, just breathe. The best advice I can offer you is to contact your local regional center and see if they can help you. Good Luck and please let all of us on mamasource know what happens.

Great advice - Early Intervention, you can call them yourself-you do not need a doctor referral. Also remember that the range of "normal" development is huge, and even the later end is not abnormal. However, trust your gut, don't let doctors talk you out of your instincts.