Need Help - Joplin,MO

S.,

I also have a son who has ADHD. My husband and I were completely against drugs until a very loving friend explained this to me. She said (with her own experience) that giving the child meds allows their brain to work at full capacity. And without them, the brain "mis-fires", leaving him without the ability to focus at school, he becomes restless, distracted, easily aggitated and eventually acting in a way that is not acceptable. Do not close the door on the option of meds until you fully understand the diagnosis and proper treatment.
Good luck,
B. Harter -Independent Arbonne Consultant-

The right diet can have big effects on children's behavior. Look for "If It's Not Food, Don't Eat It" by Kelly Hayford, C.N.C. on Amazon.com. It explains all of this. Many artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives found in packaged, processed, and "kid" foods can contribute to behavior that looks like ADD or ADHD. It could be as simple as cutting out sugar (including white bread and sugary cereals) and sticking to whole, fresh food. I'm not saying that it will completely solve the problem, he may still need meds. But, I would definitely try this before anything else for a week or two and see if it helps. You could also talk to a nutritionist about this.

Do your research online about ADD!! There are numerous things you can do to help him...Remember, ADD is not his fault and he can't control his actions sometimes. STRUCTURE STRUCTURE STRUCTURE!!! I can't emphasis how much a structured schedule will help your son expecially if you don't want to use meds. Charts, set times, set schedules, and if you have to deviate from that schedule he needs to know a head of time so he can prepare. If you do your research you will know what to expect from him and better able to know what he's going through. There are several lists of things you can do to help him and in turn will be helping yourself!!

And the fact that you are currently going through a divorce is going to make his ADD outburst even worse!!! A parents divorce at age 7 is hard for any child but even worse for an ADD child. I would recommend taking him to a counselor so he can work through those feelings and teach himself how to deal with his Disorder. ADD is a lifelong disorder the earlier he learns to deal with it in a way that works for him the fuller life he'll have!!

There ARE other alternatives to ADD beside drugs. Talk to a chiropractor or a homeopathic administer. There are options such as the NAET program & Crossinology. (Both can be googled very easily) These programs aren't covered by insurance that I can find, but they do get end results. You don't have to continue the program for years & years. In the long run it is cheaper than your monthly co-pay for the meds & repeated Dr's visits. It is also healthier, regardless of what the Dr's say there are longterm effects of these drugs. Something people also don't think about is the longterm of once your child reaches a certain age they are no longer on your insurance & insurance isn't handed out so easily in the world today. (I've only had insurance for 3 of the last 13 years, which is when I lost my parents' insurance)My question is what will these children do without these drugs (which they will be addicted to by then)? or how will they afford them? Good luck to you & your son. I have recently started my 7 yr. old in the NAET program.

Talk to your dr. some more! Or other doctors. Go over EVERY possible treatment with them. I personally do not believe in natural remedies for ADD. It is a problem in their brain--like someone else said, a "mis-firing". A chemical problem that causes them to NOT be able to function properly and respond properly to your discipline and such. I'd be REALLY leary of shelling out a lot of money for something like chiropractics for a chemical problem in the brain. Sorry to offend anyone, but I just don't believe that what chiropracters do actually helps things like this.

Keep talking to the EXPERTS! Everyone on here will have their opinions, but you've got to talk to the experts about the different options.

I do believe, however, that a good diet, structure, etc. can help a lot, in addition to some form of medication.

Hi S.! I can relate! I am having my 5 1/2 year old son tested for ADHD, and I view meds. as a very, very last resort. I never plan on medicating him, unless we have explored all other options. Do some research online about natural solutions for ADHD. Health food stores, such as Naure's Way, have supplements designed to help w/ ADHD. Also, his diet is probably a HUGE factor. Look up the Feingold diet and also gluten free casein free diet. Both of these diets have had huge successes w/ a lot of children with various problems such as ADHD/ADD, autism, Asperger's, etc. Keep researching and become an informed parent. There are things out there that work other than drugs!! There is also a doctor in Harrison, AR that tests children for metabolic disorders and she tests for food sensitivites that may be causing behavior probs. She does very thourough testing. We are on her waiting list now. Her name is Dr. Laule. You can look her up online! Be blessed!!

I understand a parent's concern about putting their child on medications but I do work in the mental health field and see this ALL the time. Its very common. It is my belief that with a low amount of medications AND WITH therapy to work on behavior modification it can be very successful. You must understand that ADD is a disability and your child cannot help the way he is right now. He needs to learn the skills to focus and stay on task and medications can help with those kinds of tools learned by a therapist. If you need any names of good therapists I know some in a couple different counties.
--S.

Diet is a huge factor, they are lacking omegas 3 and 6, my stepson was never fed veggies before I met him and so fought them every time, he is now 13 and doing much better, but simple carbs are very bad for them, like white sugar, white flour, etc. Go to your nearest healthfood store or look on line for natural remedies for add. My step son has ADHD and I have researched this much, though his mother insisted on following the dr. and putting him on Ritalin at age four. I did find oodles of alternatives and have over the years met many people who have tried the alternatives successfully. Brainlink is something I have used with my five year old who seems to have some signs of ADD. Usually buying the product online is more cost effective than the HFS, but the people working there can sometimes be helpful with muscle testing and such. GOOD LUCK!

Hi. I am a parent of a 7 year old, myself. I, also, have worked at a children's pyschiatric hospital, as well as an elementary school counselor. I have a MA in Counseling Pyschology. Just wanted to let you know that if your child truly is ADD and has a diagnosis as such - they really can't help or control their behavior. Time outs, grounding, etc. aren't going to help. If it truly is ADD medication should help and I have seen many times where the child actually thanks the parents for doing something that finally works. They don't understand why they do the things they do and need our help as parents. Just wanted to pass that along hoping it will help you to feel better and help your child get the help he needs. Good luck!

I have 7 year old twins and my son too has ADD. We did choose medication after seeing a Ped/Neurologist and making sure that it was really ADD. I can't tell you the difference it has made for him. He is a happier more successful child with friends. I felt I had to do whatever necessary to make him successful. I know medicine might seem like the quick response to some, but if my child was a diabetic I would get him the medicine he needs. To me it is the same. He can't help that he has ADD and the behaviors that go with it. As he gets older he will understand and wil be able to cope better and may not need the medicine. But a 7 year old doesn't know why he is misbehaving. It was hurting my sons self esteem, thinking he was the bad kid at school or in are family. He feels good about himself now and is a much happier child.

J. ( mom of 3 beautiful children and married for 15 years)

I recommend enzyme nutrition. You can learn more at www.loomisinstitute.com
To find a practitioner you can click on help and then practitioner locator.
I have been using this nutritional work in my practice for a year and I have been able to help so many people who want to improve their health and avoid medications.
Good luck, I admire your goal to help your son in a healthy way.

You need to change is diet if you haven't already. There are links with additives, food dyes, MSG ect in food that increases hyperactivitey in children and adults including ADD and ADHD. I would start with a diet change. If you want some help or a start in changing some of the things he eats I sell a product called Wildtree www.stacyflynn.mywildtree.com is my website and we sell many everyday seasonings and mixs that do not have any additives what so ever. I hope this helps you and good luck.

My son was 10 when I finally took him into a specialist to have him checked for ADD. It was only because at that time he started falling behind in school because the course work changed, and it was a critical time for him to be able to learn those things that will carry over into 5th and 6th and middle school.
I always knew he had issues, and suspected ADD, but refused to have him diagnosed as we were getting along fine with the behavior modifications at home. But I wanted to do what was right for him educationally, and didn't want him to frustrated and end up dropping out of highschool years on down the road like his Dad did.
We put him on Strattera, and it works for him, his concentration levels are back on track. Don't get me wrong, he's still the typical ADD kid, and it's REALLY frustrating at times, but he's happier and isn't struggling to keep up. He makes A's and B's.

He also had severe milk allergies as a baby, and has asthma, I don't know if there is a connection, but we moderated his diet and follow it fairly strictly.

ALso, we find that a REWARD system works alot better than punishment for most things. For instance: If you take your medicine for 1 week without forgetting a day, you get 30 minutes of video game time on Friday.
If you do your chores for a week without missing a day, you get to go to Youth Group on Sunday evening.(It's considered extra curricular, and not included with Church)

Pick out things he can reasonably do for his age, and reward him for doing it.

Be consistant.

Have consequences that are short and to the point. Grounding for more than a day or two doesn't work well cause they forget why they are even in trouble 1/2 the time if it's longer than that.

Hope some of these help.

I have read up on this a little. I keep seeing that making sure sugar, white flour, sodas, etc. are a BIG factor in ADD. Remove these from the diet and I'm told his behavior will become better. Just a warning though, sugar and white flour can cause some withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, crankiness, mood swings in the first four days or so. But don't give in. Check into changing the diet and possibly visiting a naturopath or herbalist.

Best Wishes,

J. H.

we know of a person here in greater KC area trained in Love and Logic who also does classes on ADD children for techniques and methods as well as has staff to do one on one over the phone or face to face sessions, at a small fee. the website for more info is http://www.real-families.com/

laura is awesome teacher of Love and Logic and I just adore her. she is public about one of her children having ADD so I feel she has been there. hope that helps.

Hi S., I totally know what your going through! We've been in the same position and I had a hard time deciding to put our son on the mediciation too. But let me tell you...OHH MY GOSH!! WHat a total difference that everyone saw!! He was a different child! I used to think that he just had behavior issue's (at least back then) until we got help. You have to remember how your son feels. I'm sure he's a very smart child, but when you can't stay focused long enough to understand then it's very frustrating for him, you, teachers, everyone. You have to think of it like this. If you child was diabetic or had cancer, would you not give him the medication to help him?? Of course not! That's the way someone else had to describe it to me so i could understand it. Just think about it. Best of luck!!

i was the same! i refused meds for my son for a while. then i had to get out of my own head about it. i finally figured out... if my son has to take one little pill to help him get himself together, why am i standing in his way? because of my own misconceptions? do you know that a child with add, untreated is 15x more likely to self medicate in thier teen years! i have a step-son also add.fought his mother for about 4 years on this same thing. he'd been kicked out of 5 schools/daycares. do you know he's been on meds for about 6 mo. now and his teacher has called,the principal has called, to tell us what a difference! he just won a certificate of achievment,they only pass out one per grade! i'm so proud. so my advice is talk to your dr. he/she is the one with the education in this area.as far as mom is concerned,maybe look at trying the meds,even for a short time(one month or so) God bless

Hi, Sharron I am part owner in a whole food beverage that has been doing some amazing things for people with physical sickness, mental sickness, health risk, and the list goes on and on. The reason I am responding to you is because it is people who have their children with ADD and other issues on this natural product. If you wish to look more into it go to www.myzija.com/msbuggs and click on opportunity and if you want to know more, email me at ____@____.com and I will let you talk to someone. I could give you a number to reach me at if you respond. Have a blessed day.

There are alot of foods and ingredients that can act as triggers for ADD. They are high fructose corn syrup, red dyes, sugar and sweets among others. There are some great vitamins and suppelements that can make a difference such as: B-complex and fish oil. I would highly recommend the book Stop ADD/ADHD Now. I believe it's by Dr. Bob. About me: I am a mother of 3 and a chiropractor. My oldest has had ADD issues and when I realized it I started doing some investigating. Learned about the food triggers and supplements. Within a few days of changing his diet and giving him the supplements - I noticed a difference. Please don't medicate - it's dangerous and addictive. I have seen great results with my son and my patients by using natural means. Any questions call me at ###-###-####- Dr. C

Try going to a health food store. I know there is one in Marshfield called Herbal Works. She has natural med.s there such as Attend and Focus for Children that seems to work.

L.

S.,
I have been in your position at that same age. I fought it with the meds, did research, etc. Finally I realized so much about it that I knew it was something that my son could not help. It is a chemical imbalance in their brain. I understand that because of my PMS issues. So, I then knew that I was not helping him by not putting him on something. We firstried Spratera then, concerta, and now we have had him on Adderral for almost 5 years. I am not saying that Adderall is the one for your son but, it has made a different child out of mine. I won't tell you that there wont be stuggles on how to deal with it because I would be lying. I had an aweful time dealing with it. They say that counceling goes hand and hand with the medicine. I fully agree. My husband and I have seperated and he does not feel the same I do about counceling or does not have the time to take him. And because of that my son and I have a challenging relationship right now. I stongly suggest you just do some research, find a good councelor that can follow him with meds.(psychiatrist)and just learn how to deal with him as best as possible. Pray. If you want to talk email me.

Hi S.,
You are a woman who has her hands really full!! You do NOT have to put your son on any meds due to having ADD. Our son has ADD, and also has asthma. How is your son's health otherwise? We did not administer any meds to our son for the ADD. Instead, we looked into his interests, which were, for the most part, music and more music! So, we bought a piano and he took lessons for 12 years. He is an accomplished pianist and soloist. But, the real thing was making sure he practiced, practiced, practiced. We had an investment with the piano and lessons, and he made the committment to learn to play. The best thing was, he NEVER took meds for the ADD. If your son has a specific interest, foster that interest and be involved with whatever it might be. It beats pumping him full of meds that might not help at all, and your involvement in his interest will pay off time and time again. It also diverts his extra energy to something positive, therefore making it easier for you to live with him. It would force him to focus on something and pay attention. You might need to get yourself a hobby to keep the stress levels down in your life. A divorce isn't an easy thing for anyone, including the children. So, try to keep your stress level at a minimum, and, whatever you do, try not to get so angry at your son. Keeping an ADD child active in positive things is always a plus. Good luck, and God bless you and your family.

I do not know if this will help, but my son is turning 8 in a few days, but he has also been diagnosed with add. He can not focus, and tends to be quite forgetful at times. Unfortunatly , after researching , I have not been able to find a diet (like adhd) to help eith the problem. what I have found is the more stimulai you take a way while doing a task helps him focus better. I found that in a busy household that is very difficult to do. I am not one to medicate.. I don't like it. but we tried Straterra which is considered a nonstimulant after talking with a doctor. It is not a cure for sure, but it helps a lot. He does much better in school and listens at home too. I also found using If and then statements work... If you dont clean your room, then you..... It seems to help him focus on what needs to be done. I hope this helps

D.

I was at my wits end with my daughter too. Upon alot of research, most of which focused on nutrition and diet I came across LIMU. It has done WONDERS. Now I can actually focus on keeping her day structured instead of constant discipline.

Check it out at www.discoverlimu.com/easylimu

S., what kind of diet does your son have? Is it filled with lots fo fresh fruits and vegetables, little juck food. Or does he have the typical diet of fast foods, already prepared foods? Changing his diet to what he needs can help a great deal in the treating of some of these conditions. Look into diet change before doing the drugs if you can.
A. B

my advice is to get a second opinion and if they concur, consider the medication. My oldest son has ADD and it helped him in school and working at a school with children who have many different disabilities, I see what can happen to those who would really benefit from meds and yet their parents won't get the medication they need. Yes, there may be side affects and it may take many different meds until you get the right one for your child, but if he is truly ADD, The successful outcome will out weigh the side affects.