Need Help - Tulsa,OK

Updated on October 26, 2009
M.S. asks from Tulsa, OK
12 answers

My son is 3 years old now. His father took off on hm and I when he was a few months old. Now, my son's father has agreed to give up his parental rights and give me full custody of our son if I cancel the child support, the back pay that he owes and the medical insurance that he was court ordered to pay. Does anyone know if this is possible? I have no idea what type of attirney to get for this. Can someone give me some advice?

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So What Happened?

Thank You everyone for your responses. I will make arrangements to talk to an attorney when I can. I forgot to mention that my ex was my boyfriend. We were never married thank GOd. I am married now and my husband wants to adopt my son. But that is what my son's father wants. For my husband to adopt him so he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. He just doesn't want to support his son or be in his life in any way. Thank you for your help.

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K.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You need the advice of a family law attorney. Most try to work with people to make their services affordable, but if you fall below a certain income you may be eligible to get advice from Legal Aid (should be able to find # on the web). I know of a couple family law attys in OKC, so if you are local and want a few names, write me back and I'll send the info privately.

K.

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V.P.

answers from Biloxi on

You would need a Family Practice Attorney, you can also see if in the Judgment of Termination, if they can make sure he pay his arreage up before he can terminate or continue to make payments. (I would suggest he pay before the Termination is final. I work at the courthouse in that type of court and most of the time they don't pay and you will have to continue to go back and forth to court to make him pay. Good luck Valerie

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C.A.

answers from Little Rock on

Look in the yellow pages for an attorney who specializes in Family Law. And contact your local Office of Child Support Enforcement. In some states a parent can not sign away their rights unless someone else is willing to step in and adopt the child. Ask each attorney that you call if they do a free consultation. That may help. Ask around, sometimes referrals are the best way to find a good attorney. Good Luck!

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P.M.

answers from Birmingham on

You should be able to get full custody of your son without your husband signing anything. Don't give him a "pass" on the child support, medical support, back support he owes your son. Find yourself a good attorney, call and see if you are eligible for any legal aid. Your ex-husband doesn't owe YOU anything, it is your son who is owed the money and it is his support that your husband owes. If at sometime your circumstances change and there is a man in your life who wants to be a Father to your son then re-evaulate but for now - don't make things hard on yourself.

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S.N.

answers from Oklahoma City on

M.,
The first thing you need to do is find a good family law attorney. In some cases, espcially in cases of abandonment, you can not only get the courts to terminate his parental rights, but in some cases, you can get them to terminate them and still require him to cover insurance and pay back child support and continue paying child support until the child is 18. I would look into it if I were you.
I hope this helps.
S.

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A.J.

answers from Baton Rouge on

What about the attorney who represented you in your divorce??

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I am sorry - I am a little late chiming in, but your letter struck a chord in me. M., if you have a loving husband who wants to adopt your son and be a real father to him, then just let the biological father go. All that matters is your son and and a disinterested father is not the best option.

I tried for years to get my son's father to do more than just pay the court ordered child support and the result of that is a 13 year old son in therapy with a chip on his shoulder and anger at the whole world. Hindsight, bring 20/20, it would have been in the best interest of my son for me to have let his dad go and not tried to create a bond that the man just did not want.

You are blessed to have husband that sees past biology and wants your son to be his son also.

I wish you the best, Leyahn

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J.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yes, what your ex is asking is possible, but I would consult a lawyer first. Find one who specilizes in family law or who is a child advocate. Good luck.
J.

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J.M.

answers from Montgomery on

Depending on the state you live in. your sons dad can terminate hes rights but depending on the court order he may still have to pay child support and medical coverage.
You need to talk to a Lawyer who practices family law. Good luck to you. It is a hard process.

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B.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You can check with an attorney, but I don't think he can give away his parental rights unless someone else is wanted to adopt him )like a step dad). His desire to visit and be a part of the child's life are totally separate from his obligation to help support the child he created.

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J.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

In oklahoma, he can terminate his rights but that doesnt stop him from having to pay child support unless there is a man in his life willing to adopt him. We ran into this with my husband, as his ex is now a lesibian and gets away with screwing the system over.

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J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

Funny. He will never get out of financial responsibility for his own child. Since he is not In your son's life except for monetary, I doubt you have to worry about not getting full custody anyway. I would definetly document somehow that he proposed that idea, for the record. I would think that would look very bad for him. Good luck. I think you would need a family lawyer.

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