Need Direction

I know how you feel about not being "open to medication" - I wasn't either when my son was diagnosed 4 years ago with ADHD! After he started getting in trouble at school for not sitting still,disrupting,making noises,ect. I decided to try him on med. and it was the best thing I could've done.He is still on med.even though we've cut back {he only takes it on school days}.He's doing great and is able to concentrate and focus on things. Good luck in what ever you decide.

If he likes music you may be able to sing a little tune or make up a rhyme to sing that can help. We sing the clean up song and the kids work allot better if they are having fun...my daughter is five and honestly she does this allot. I sent her to get her coat three times just the other day...each time she came back empty handed. Something else was just more interesting to her when she took off to look for it and she totally forgot about it. She starts out picking up toys and pretty soon she is playing with them instead.

It may be defiance sometimes but we all forget what we were supposed to do every once in a while...

He sounds like a very normal little guy to me. Good attention spans take a long while to develop. I think you need to back off and give him a chance to be a child. I've dealt with all kinds of kids at every end of the ADHD spectrum. He will grow out of it.

Suzi

L.,

I have an almost 5 yr old that was diagnosed with high functioning autism (more severe than ADHD but on the same spectrum & some common tendencies.) At this time i am also against meds, which is the first thing the dr suggested that diagnosed him. My husband & I went home & let this all absorb. As I thought about it i got angry than this was a "starting point". We chose not to medicate him & have him metabolically tested. As it turns out he had some allergies (milk specifically )that caused this body to not absorb things (nutrients, vitamins, antibodies, etc.) that would be helping him out in tons of ways. He is now on some natural supplements, off of milk products & about to be off gluten. It is a long slow road but we are getting him help. I just feel it is very important to make sure the body his functioning properly first. Good luck to you & your son!

My daughter was diagnosed with "inattentive ADD" last year and sounds very similar to your son. I was very reluctant to start her on medication, but we gave it a try. It has made a world of difference in the lives of everyone, including her, at home and at school. The progress she has made at school is remarkable. She is able to pay attention and follow through with more tasks without prompting her. While I understand that medication is not for everyone it did make a difference in our lives. A resource I found valuable is a book called "Helping Your Child with ADHD". (I loaned it to a friend and I can't recall the author, but the cover is orange and I got it at Borders.)The book talks about how children with ADHD/ADD process information and also about changing their diet such as restricting foods with dyes and artificial flavors. The book gives other information to better help us understand her behavior so we can help her understand why she is the way she is.
I hope this helps your family.

I don't know if this would be much help to you but my little brother was diagnosed with just ADD not ADHD... He has the not focusing, having to tell him what to do a million times and problems in school but not the hyperactive part... My Mom was SOOO against medication but the doctor suggested putting him on Concerta. After doig alot of research and talkin to him about it(he was 8 i think)She went ahead and decided to.. We only give it to him when he goes to school but he is doing SOOO much better... He's really excelled in everything... He's reading and doing math at about 2 grades higher than he should be.... The weekends are still kind of hard because he doesn't have the medication.... Hope this helps and good luck :)

Hello L.,
Like you my son has ADHD and OCD. I have talk to the doctors and they told me if I'm not willing to do the meds. There's a diet you can put them on feingold. You can check out the web site www.feingold.org and get a little more info. This diet worked for us and we love it. Well good luck to you and God Bless!

Hi L.!
My Mum had this with my oldest brother, whom is now 40 years old. When he was about the same age as your son, the only meds were very bad chooses. So Mum chose to work with him in other ways too. One was stop, think, and listen or 1,2,3 as she also called it. This would help him to stop and put his full attention into what she was asking or telling him. She would limit what she asked to only 1 or 2 things. Then if there was more instruction needed, he would come back for the next steps.It does time time with this, but it really did work well. She also found out that cutting red dyes out of his diet was a great help also. Another god send was a cup of coffee in the morning. Everyone assumes that coffee/caffeine is a stimuli, But that only last a little while and then it is a mild depressent to our bodies.Changes in his diet like these other items may help. This can give you some thoughts to research if nothing else.
Hugs to you for wanting to do it drug free! Hang in there and know that someone...at least me!, supports you!
Stace

I agree with some of the other responders, Don't just check for ADD?ADHD, they told me my son was at his school at this age also. The fisrt 9weeks I told them he was bored because he'd been to K prep 2x - (his birthday was after the cut off) and asked them to give hime something extra/more challenging to do. He was doing all his work quickly and then was bored-so would wander around the class or talk to other kids while they were still working. I did alot of research and ended up at an Allergy and Behavioral specialist. He went to the school checked my childs class room, tested him for add and allergies. It turned out he had at least 13 allergies, so we changed his diet,( WHEAT MILK AND EGGS) the school cleaned the class of all the pretty pictures( over stimulating even to non add kids and adults) and let the school believe he was on meds. After a month of being treated for allergies and the class room being cleared of excess clutter, I asked how he was doing. They said he was much better & thanked me for putting him on meds. I then told them he wasn't nor had he been. They didn't like me very well - but I don't care you are your childs Best advocate. Make sure your house doesn't contain something that maybe affecting him. My sons allergist had me check everything- house, cars, cleaning supplies.
There is a book called is this My Child- by Doris Wrapp(SP)
it is a great book to read. Borrowed it at the library. Also as another person said he might be having - small seizures or have a processing deficit. Check out all possibilities before medicating him.
The chore charts are a good idea for all kids. Good Luck

I didn't use medications with my son either. But I well remember him doing similar things as a child. I just worked with him more. I could tell my other children to go clean their rooms, but not him. I would go WITH him to clean his room & it would take HOURS to complete with me sitting right there with him talking about how to do it & encouraging all along the way. I didn't punish him for not being able to focus in, but as well, made sure that he understood his responsibilities. Now as a grown man/husband/father, his wife will say "focus" & she said it still drives her crazy when he needs to help her clean or whatever. At work though he is amazing & totally focus in. He also has certain "chores" that he totally focuses on & does well at...loves to cook. My opinion is that your son just is challenged in this area. That just means that as a parent, you can work with him, helping him to succeed or go with medication. I just was opposed to the medication personally, unless it got to the point that I felt it was more than we could deal with. I was a SAHM though & decided that was just something I was willing to work with him on.

I can understand how frustrating it must be to have a little guy that can't seem to follow directions. I agree completely with you that drugs aren't always the best way to go. I've done a lot of research and have found that a lot of times, ADD, ADHD, etc...can be directly related to exposure we have to certain common household chemicals. I have friends who have found that after switching the basic products they use to something less caustic and more environmentally friendly, the symptoms that their children struggled with begin to improve. I can give you more information about these safer products - I help moms everyday convert their home, as well as make some money at the same time. Feel free to visit my website and fill out the GET MORE INFO form. We can then chat more about everything over the phone. www.healthyhome4family.com

Keep your chin up - I'm sure you'll find the answers that will fit your families' needs the best!

I am quite frankly surprised no one has told you this part--

Hyperactivity is not always physical. It can very easily and happily be mental.

I am ADHD. I am someone who loves to watch movies, read books and whatever else I can hyper-focus on. But day to day stuff I forget constantly what I am doing from room to room. When I was first diagnosed I was shocked at the H part. Do the research and you will find it is quite normal.

I am not medicated either, but I have gone through alot of my life so far and learned to work around it. I know I was frustrating as a child though! One of my sons is ADHD as well, and also non-medicated. But I understand the way we think, so my "normal" child seems weird to me, lol.

ADD and ADHD are perfectly normal people, we just find the unconventional way of thinking. Imagine if you will a marble rolling down a path. We are the path you cannot see but the marble likes to take :D It can be an advantage, so please don't short him and his abilities. My son is an honor student in jr. high, organized in his own way and taking the SAT next month. I really think you should research more about ADD and ADHD so you have a better understanding. Chances are pretty good either you or your husband is ADD/ADHD as well--I know the chemical theory, but I have seen more and more of the inherited traits first hand. Not saying chemical is not a factor, but I don't put much stock in it.

Also, and please understand I have high expectations of my own children and believe kids are not challenged enough, do you think maybe you are setting the bar too high for a 5 year old? Also, this is not something you can "correct" and please don't think you can. You must learn to work within his abilities, and how he thinks. Experiment.

A.

Hi L.! Here is just 1 testimony I have from someone on our team. Check out www.livetotalwellness.com/cindygeoff to learn more but there is many things that can make a difference, 1st, clearing the home of toxins, 2nd, the best supplements you can get can also make a difference. Read this and then you can get back to me, hope this helps! Cindy

ADD/ADHD
Here is our situation our son has ADD/ADHD and the doctor the school sent us to caused him to have a stroke. It affected the dead pard of your brain where your emotions are. He is very very happy or very very sad no middle ground. They had him on time release Ritalin, Clonadine and impremene. They kept telling me it is safe we just have to adjust it as he grows. These meds I now know cause kidney and liver damage and when given too much my son had a stroke. I talked to our pediatrician and asked what to do he said we needed to get the chemicals out of our home. I went to health food Store and we just could not afford that. When he entered High school they had been telling me he would not be able to take the tests and he would fail I should not make him take them. They said he would not graduate that I should just settle for him to get a GED and no one would know. I told them he would and he is all that matters! I was then introduced to Melaleuca converted our home my son started taking the vitamins and provexcv. Cleaners etc . If Melaleuca makes it that is what we use. The teachers said if he was not on the medicine the other doctor had put him on he could not learn. I said he can not learn if he dies from another stroke I refused to listen to them. I told them he was taking what I gave him and he was taking the tests! He passed them all the very first time he took them. That was his Sophomore year. I am so happy and proud to say he did graduate last June in the top 20% of his class and went on to College at Hocking College and is taking fire Science when he graduates he will be a certified Firefighter, EMT,wild fire fighter,and can test for fire inspector. He has take Melaleuca products to school. He is doing wonderful he passed his exams with A+ and just took the first certification and got a 100% the highest grade in the class! I Thank God for Melaleuca and our wonderful team especially Jennifer Dockum more than I can ever put into words.

Sarah Wood

TRY THE MEDICATION!!! I felt the same way and when my nephews came to live with us, the younger one would get lost on the way to put something in the trash. I didn't want him to become a zombie... but once I talke to several docs, therapists, and teachers, we decided to give it a try. I felt so terrible that I waited for so long once we started the medication. The results were amazing and his therapist noticed before I said we had started it. It changed his life. Medication has come a long way. You can stop if you don't like the effects but I would say not to say no before you try it. It makes it so much easier for them. It is hard for the kids so give him a break and let his brain work in a more normal fashion. You won't be sorry

I know this wasn't posted recently but I thought I would respond. As a teacher I see first hand how ADD/ADHD affects children at school. I know some peole feel that teachers try to diagnose their children because the teacher is lazy and doesn't want to deal with the behavior issue. I'm sure this is true some of the times but most of the times it is not. I wish there was a way I could let these parents see their children try to function at school. They simply can't help their impulsivity and inattentiveness. Half of the time they don't even realize what they're doing until you bring it to their attention. They blurt out, they can be disruptive, they have problems getting their work done even though mentally they're perfectly capable of doing the work. I've noticed that my students with ADD/ADHD are some of the most intelligent in my class. As a teacher I do try to make modifications but they're not always successful depending on the severity of the ADD/ADHD. I think parents also need to consider how the actions of their child affects the learning of the other children. Children with ADD/ADHD can be very disruptive and at times their impulsivity has them putting their hands on other students. These types of disruptions aren't fair to the other students and I'm sure if they were your children, you wouldn't appreciate your child being hit or the teacher having to constantly stop a lesson to re-direct the actions of a child who is being disruptive. My son who is in 4th grade was just recently diagnosed with ADD and I've decided to put him on Concerta. What a huge difference it has made in our lives!!! He's able to go to school and focus on what he needs to do. He feels so much better about himself. I'm just asking those of you who are totally opposed to medication to really think about it before you rule it out. We all have to do what we feel is right but we really need to ask ourselves if we're doing what is best for our child. You're not the one who has to sit in class everyday and wonder why I'm not able to get my work done or wonder why no one wants to be my friend (I've seen this in my classroom) or wonder why the teacher is constantly telling me to sit down or to keep my hands to myself or to get back to work. Think about how your child will feel knowing that they can successfully navigate their way through their day/life without being constantly redirected. For a child that's BIG!!!

Dear L.,
Hello! I also have a son diagnosed with adhd. We also were not wanting to get him on medication at first. We had alot of the confusion and was constantly having to "remind" him how to do even the simple things like get dressed and tie his shoes or even how to put a coat on. Yes, it is very frustrating especially when you are quite busy in the day. Our school system gave us some advice which I have already shared on this site but I want to copy it to you below.....You could try out the 1-2-3 Magic System. It is written by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. I have four children and one of my sons has been diagnosed with ADHD but this system has worked for all of my children. It takes a few weeks to get it implemented into your daily routine, yet is far worth the benefits once the kids understand your terms of discipline. Contact your local library or the school library to see if they have a copy of the book or the video that you can watch for free. The book is the winner of the National Parenting Publications Gold Award. It says that it is effective discipline for children 2-12 years of age.

As far as the medicine goes, my son is on adderal now 15 mg a day - 10 in the morning and 5mg at noon. It has been a total turn around for him. He is thinking clearly and can handle even the simple directions. We took him off of it for the summer this year in mid June and noticed an enormous difference in his behavior and learning and put him back on it October. The start of the school year was so difficult for him without the medicine and we were receiving calls from the teacher weekly. Since reapplying him to his medicine, he has completely turned around on his schoolwork and behavior and has even thanked us for letting him go back on his medicine. He says that he feels he can think clearly of what is going on in his head. I wish you luck! Kids with adhd have such a rough go around and they simply cannot focus or pay attention on their own. The doctors told us that it's like there is several different directions in their head that they can go for each simple task and the child cannot decide which direction to go and that happens with every decision that is put before them even the small ones like "put on the red shirt beside you". My son had trouble with even those simple directions before we placed him on his medicine. But I have to tell you that the 1-2-3 Magic System has worked with him whether he is on the medicine or not because it gives him a warning so that he can think about what is going on before it's too late. Good luck! ~T.

My 11 year old son has ADHD too. Here are a few ideas that has helped him over the years. We have made lists for morning expectations and posted them on our son's bedroom door. Also, using a dry erase board for directions can provide a visual. Giving him simple less wordy commands can sometimes help too. We hang his daily chore list on the fridge. This way we can tell him to check his list instead of always providing verbal directions he has visuals to help him too.

I am not against meds at ALL (my husband is bipolar), but I have thought a lot about what I would do if my child were diagnosed with something like that. First, I would get a second opinion. If at all possible, I would get a brain scan to confirm that diagnosis. (It's expensive, I think, but they can tell.) Then, I would learn exactly how the particular med affects the brain and decide if it were worth it at that point compared with the problem behavior.

I really worry about giving children meds that affect brain chemicals because who knows how their brains will be different later in life? Again, I am not AGAINST giving them meds, just would be very cautious. Don't feel guilty about it if it turns out to be the right decision in your case -- there are a lot of kids who do need these meds, and you also have an entire family to consider.

Good luck!

I just wanted to pass along this website:
http://www.additudemag.com/

L.,

Thanks for posting, you are obviously a loving and dedicated mother who is dealing with more than she knows.
ADHD is a disability that has nothing to do with intelligence but is a disability with brain processing function. Medication corrects this processing dysfunction. I have a fifteen year old (almost 16) who has been repeatedly diagnosed with ADHD and his father has always been adamantly against medication. Additionally, I had always been open to alternative treatment and did not want to drug up my son. I have found that with my fifteen year old that he is an extremely creative thinker and very loving boy and by supporting his strengths we have found out that he is musically gifted.

Your son is capable of paying attention, or seeming to pay attention maybe, but his brain is not capable of perhaps processing the information he has heard or hanging onto it. If you choose to go the route of no meds, then I would highly recommend that you spend a lot of time educating yourself on this condition and alternative treatments. This is what I did and it was a lot of hard work. I used behavior modification therapies with him where I let him lead the way and show me how he could deal with it best. (This is a very long hard route to go but can be worth it if you put in the time). Let me add that he was my only child until he was five and he needed me to cater to only him during that time. But the work has never slacked off for a minute.

Somethings that I found helped him when he was that small was giving him directions with no more than two steps at at time and then he would have to return for the next one or two steps in the process. Too many steps would be overwhelming for him and he would shut down. Also, showing unending love and compassion are needed. Their self esteem and self worth are very tied up in how we handle thier situation. Another thing I did was when it came to homework time, we would build a tent out of the kitchen table by putting a sheet over it and we would do homework together in the tent. This would block out overstimulation from the environment which can be distracting to them.

I highly recommend that you read, read, read as many books and websites that you can find on ADHD so that you can understand what your son is going thru so that you can best help him. Each kid is different and so the more you read, the more you can figure out what fits your son and what does not. I found in my reading that sensory processing issues were huge for my son and he also had asthma and allergies which somewhat helped his ADHD when we got those under control. I also found that ADHD is connected to Autism Spectrum Disorders (which is what my youngest son who is four has been diagnosed with.) There may be more going on with your son than you realize.

I hope that some of this helps. To let you know what has come of my fifteen year old; I have recently started him on medications and it has made a world of difference for him. He is in highschool and has been failing miserably because he has had a lot of teachers who do not understand ADHD and have not been willing to work with him. The meds have been his savior, dispite the side effects. Teachers attitudes and failing have severly affected his self esteem and I wish I was more open to meds sooner. We also have recently gotten him an IEP (Individual Education Plan) which outlines what services the teachers are supposed to give him to help him because this is a learning disability and he has the right to receive an education. I wish I had known about and gotten an IEP sooner for him.

Again, I hope some of this helps. God Bless and Good Luck with the long journey ahead of you.

M.

PS. I just read Stacy O's comment and forgot all about the coffee. The doctor recommended coffee for my sons asthma which also helped his ADHD. Yes, believe it or not, COFFEE helps both of these conditions. Caffein is a stimulant for normal brains but works opposite for hyper brains (which is what the meds do also). I have been so used to him drinking it since he was small that I forgot about it as being one of his treatments. ;)

There is a difference between ADD & ADHD
It sounds like ADD and believe me he will learn to cope in different ways.
Catching it now is great there is a site
www.schwablearning.org
Go to it there is a ton of info there
One small task at a time medication is not needed
You just must learn everything can about your sons issues,
research it. This is a hard thing to deal with if you are a perfectionist. Pictures work great if you want him to pick up his toys show him a flash card of a kid picking up toys and only have him pick up two toys at a time.
And try focusing on his good points.
You can't punish him for something he can't control.
Forcing him to pay attention will make it worse.

I wanted to add that I have a son like this who is 14
I wish I would have know more when he was 5 if you want anymore info I could send you more sites that I found helpful Just let me know.

I am glad to hear you are not going to put him on medication! I think a therapist is a step in the right direction; I don't think punishment will help him.

As both a mother of two children (now grown) and a former elementary school teacher, I recognize this behavior. Has your doctor mentioned to you that your child could be having mini-seizures? Please don't be alarmed, because this is treatable. I had children in my class who could focus long enough to repeat directions back to me, and then "blank out". A seizure can last for as little as 30 seconds. Children do not exhibit classic seizure behavior (jerking, followed by stiffness), but instead stare straight ahead and then resume their activity. But they don't remember anything leading up to the seizure. They may do this a number of times a day. Please have this checked out with your pediatrician, and try to log when you notice your child not doing something you asked and backtrack to his behavior before that occurance.
Don't give up and good luck!! Your child needs you to be in his corner as his advocate!!

Hi, L. -

I am curious who gave your son the diagnosis. I would recommend that he have a thorough assessment, because the brief description you gave brought up a lot of issues for me that should also be investigated.

Please let me know if I can answer any questions. I am a psychologist specializing in ADHD and learning disabilities. You can check out my website at www.drjordan.org.

Good luck.
Dr. K. Jordan

When I read about your frustration a flood of emotion ran over me as I recalled the last three years of my life with my 8 year old. He was diagnosed with ADHD last year also without some of the typical hyperactivity you often see. Up until then I was trying many behavioral things like regular schedules, backpack on a hook, never giving him more than one task at a time. Giving him the same task over and over and completing it with him repeatedly was the biggest help for him. It takes a lot of patience but what was a turning point for me was understanding that he was not defying me or not caring. He was incapable of doing these things I was asking him to do. He didn't know why he could do them sometimes and other times he could not. He was just as frustrated as I was. We did decide to medicate him about three months ago and our lives magically turned around. The school work that took him 4 hours suddenly took him 1/2 hour to complete. It is a low dose of a new medication and the doctor carefully regulated the first four weeks and then monthly. Many parents opt not to do this and continue to work with their children behaviorally. My heart goes out to you as it is a trying situation. In our area there is a support group through one of the hospitals for parents and maybe hearing how they are coping can help you find some answers.

Like many of the other people responding, I have a 5-year-old son with ADHD. He has combined ADHD, so he has problems with both hyperactivity and inattentiveness. I know many people are outright against medication, but I have to say in my experience, it was a wise move. My son is on an extremely low dose (I open a 5mg capsule every other morning & divide it in half)once a day, and along with therapy, he is starting to thrive. I believe that therapy is a great tool. It's a way to get a new perspective on the situation from an unbiased outside source. Often, they can give you ideas you would never have thought of! Unlike the others, I have NOT found diet change to be helpful. We've had extremely good days when he's had little to eat that's nutritional, and really bad days when he's eaten very healthy. We've also had no outward or other signs that it's an allergy thing. I read a study that suggested that diet change does little more than appease the parent. In this study, the researchers stated that when they told parents, educators & therapists a child's diet had been changed, parents saw a change in behavior, but the educators and therapists did not. In some cases, the child's diet wasn't really changed, and yet the parents still claimed they saw a difference! I'm not knocking diet modification, but I'm just saying that it may not be the cure-all that some make it out to be.
One of the biggest challenges,though, and I'm still struggling with this, is that you have to throw your discipline book out the window and start from scratch. When he has undesirable behavior, you have to take a step back and think, "Is it him being a 5-year-old, or is it the ADHD?" My husband and I both have found that our son responds better to the consequences he does get because he understands that he's not just being punished all the time or for merely being himself. It's really hard to digest(it took me quite a while to get to this point), but when you punish only the inappropriate behavior for a 5-year-old and not the behavior caused by his ADHD, your child's self-esteem increases and he realizes that he's not a "bad kid". If all he hears is negative responses from you, there's no motivation to improve. Likewise, you have to be extra diligent with your praise. Find ways to tell him "great job" or "I'm so proud of you" every day. Giving him a few kind words, even if he is acting up, can make the difference in his behavior. I like the use of charts, too--pick specific behaviors, and every time you catch him doing the correct behavior, give him a sticker to put on the chart. After 5, 7, or however many stickers you decide are on the chart, he gets a small reward like a special trip out for ice cream, a visit to the store for a (small)new toy, an extra playtime at the park, 10 minutes extra of video games, or whatever works for you.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents worth. I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do!

Start by only giving ONE direction and having him return to you for the next step. Tell him how wonderful he does anything!!!! This child will receiving lots of negative feedback from everywhere. Be positive!!!Very important!! Please know that you have to be very patient. This is not easy but you will be able to help your son.

There are two types of ADHD. One is the hyperactive type and the other is inattentive type. My son and I both suffer from the inattentive type. It sounds as though your son has this as well. Punishing him will not make it go away. My suggestion is to find a therapist who specializes in ADHD who can help you understand the disorder as well as give suggestions on how to deal with it.

What about taking a digital picture of what you want him to go get or do. Print it out and hand it to him to take with him. That way, if he gets distracted, he can look at the picture and remember. It might be time consuming for awhile, but after a bit, you'll probably have most of the pictures you'd need.

L.,
I know of a 5 year old girl that does the same kind of thing that you describe in your son. They tried a timer for the smaller tasks (brushing teeth, getting dressed and the like) and that seemed to work. Sticker charts with tasks to be completed at the end of the day may help hime feel more accomplished.
Hope this helps.
T.

I had sort of the same experience with my daughter, who is now 15....she was not hyper or such but couldn't retain things she tried so hard to learn...she could not remember her numbers or letters at all...it was so sad because she tried so hard...she was being made fun of at school and she really wanted to remember...so I know it wasn't just because she didn't pay attention or didn't want to remember...anyway half way through kindergarten I put her on meds and she was reading by the end of the year! It was amazing the difference it made....she has not been on the meds for 4 years now and is doing wonderfully...hope this helps...sometimes meds aren't the solution but in my case they sure were:)

I have all the responses and everyone has really good points. We as well have a six year old that is ADHD. We chose to put him on medication and it has been a wonderful thing. He is able to concentrate and able to control himself as well. He has the hyperactivity really bad to the point he will just talk none stop or make noises. We were apprensive as well about putting him on medication especially at such a young age, but I do not regret our decission at all. One of the things that helped us out with making our choice was we read that kids with ADHD are 10 times more likely to become addicts without help. At the time that he was diagnosed, our youngest child was around 18 months and Allen was being very mean and hurtful to him. The last straw was Allen taking a metal gardening shovel (the one that you just handle with one hand) and slammed it on Nate's foot causeing a big cut. Thankfully Nate's foot was ok and not broke. We thought of using the more natural way, but with an 18 month old and Allen was showing major signs of aggression, we put him on meds. Basically for us it was a combination of things. The study showing kids with ADHD and not getting help being more likely to become an addict and his aggression which we could not take the chance of him hurting his brother or anyone else. I can tell you that today is so much more like a normal child as far as normal is. He is doing great in school and making friends. I am very pleased with the results he has recieved and the control over himself. I wish you the best with everything. It's hard I know and so frustrating, but hang in there. You are the only ones that knows your child the best.

Hi L..
Your story stopped me in my tracks. My son (almost 5) has appts right now set up with specialist doctors for February and April to get some assesments done. My husband made a remark to me last night that he wouldn't be surprosed if they try to pin the ADDHD on my son. (my husband and I feel *our opinion* that doctors are diagnosing way too many kids w/ ADDHD lately. They are so fast to stick a label on them.
They are going to test my son for many things-one of which is Auditory Processing Disorder. I would highly reccomend doing some research on this yourself and asking your doctor to do the testing on your son. It has to do w/ the way his brain processes or doesn't process information you are telling him. It never hurts to get a second opinion if you don't trust your gut about the diagnosis. ANd if your doctor doesn't support you in this-there are plenty of doctors out there that will. But trust me-if you find out that it is something other than ADD than you'll be glad you went the extra mile.
I am praying for you and your family. I'd love to find out how things turn out.
J.