Need Custody Advice

If the child was born here, and they are married, I doubt she'll be able to take him out of the country without a notarized letter of permission from him. In fact, my cousin, who has joint custody with her ex-boyfriend, can't leave the state of Washington (nor can he) without a letter.

He should put that stipulation in the divorce decree/parenting plan. I think a judge will look favorably on it. It's hard for a man (unfortunately) to get full custody even if the mother is not a great mom. The system is usually biased towards the mom, but he will still have rights and should be able to get joint custody with a requirement that the child stay in the USA with a good lawyer.

UNTIL he gets a lawyer and files for divorce...she can take him to the moon without his permission/agreement/approval. She can get on a plane tonight with the baby and he can't stop her. He has no legal grounds to.

The moment he files (actually, possibly sooner, injunctions or similar...that a lawyer would be able to do) he has, or she has, legal grounds to stop the baby from being taken out of state much less out of country.

Philippino culture is very different from ours. Households are often multigenerational, I knew houses that easily had 20+ people living in them (children, aunties, uncles, grandparents, even great grandparents). Children are raised by EVERYONE. Very collectivist. It's about as opposite as you can get from the way children are raised here. There are actually classes that the military offers that teaches wives (or husbands) how to cope with the American way of doing things...like raising children alone, or with hired help, instead of with family.

If she's stuck out 6 months of being alone, my guess is that she could snap at any moment and get on a plane. I'd tell your friend to move fast, before it's too late.

I agree with you about getting a lawyer and he needs to do it NOW! They can have it in the paperwork that she is not allowed to take the baby out of the state or the country but things need to get started yesterday.

Hi N.,
He should check what options he has with a lawyer. I did want to tell you that there would be no way for her to take the child out of the country w/o his permission (unless she lies to the government). I checked in to getting a passport for my child when we travel, and both parents need to be present to sign for the passport. But if one can not be present then there is a form that can be signed by the missing parent and brought in by the other parent. That is the only loop hole that I see.
S.

N.- I know that when I traveled out of the country 6 years ago (Mexico) I had to have a notorized statement saying that I was a single parent. Whether or not it works...I can't tell you. But, my experience was that in order to take a child out of the country you need to have written permission by the other parent and have it notorized.
If she does take the baby out of the country without consent then she would probably get arrested as soon as she stepped foot in the states.
I am a sneaky person. Can't help it. maybe tell your friend to get sneaky and find out what part of the phillipines his wife is from so that if she does leave and gets out of the country with the child he has a starting point.
I noticed that Zoe's advice about taking the child out of the country was totally different than mine, so I would suggest to your friend a lawyer immediately to find out what the law is now.
L.

Just an FYI, you cannot get a passport, without both signatures from the parents, if they are both listed on the birth certificate. If he feels they are not getting back together, he should file legal separation and apply for custody. Good luck.

Hi N.....tell him he might check with customs and see if he can get a PASS PORT card for him. it's my understanding that you can only get one and no can get a duplicate. It will only keep him from leaving the USA mainland.

Definitely lawyer.

Also, it looks like if she were to take him to the Philippines, they won't do much...
http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/country/country_...

I'm not sure about traveling at that young of an age without a passport. It looks like infants do need them for travel outside of the Western Hemisphere:
http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

Regardless, if she's determined to get him away from the dad, she will figure out a way. Getting a lawyer will help him figure out his options. He should also start documenting everything from this point forward...

straight up, he needs a lawyer. the attorney will take care of him.

The big question is if the baby has a passport? If the answer is "yes", she can take the baby on a plane tonight and nobody will stop her. I do that with my son every summer and nobody sad anything, because when you issue the passport you need the both parents to sign and you need the prove that you are a parent. Once you sad "yes" to the passport, any of the parents can take the baby out of the country. If the baby has no passport, your friend shouldn't worry and think twice if his wife asks him to get a passport for the baby. He has to keep in mind that if she has a friend with a baby that age, she can "borrow" the other baby passport and get out of the country. And believe it or not, the other mother will help her to do that. I don't know the answers for the rest of your questions. Good luck to your friend!

I don't know about the other stuff (custody whatnot), but I see some people are telling you that she can take the baby out of the country whenever she wants and that is simply not true if he doesn't have a passport. The baby is an American citizen and will not be allowed to leave the country without a passport. Both parents must be present in order to obtain a passport for a minor child. If one parent cannot be present then you have to have that parent sign their permission. You also have to have ID for each parent. If you look on the US governments website for obtaining a passport it will tell you all the details.
I had not thought about her possibly using another child's passport that is not her own....I suppose that is possible.
I am not sure if you need anything other than a pssport if only one parent is travelling with the child, but I don't think you do.

Hi N.:

We are a bi-national family also (I am German, my husband is American). First of all: do they already have a passport for the little one? If not, I first and foremost recommend that you friend does not consent into having one issued. The signatures of both parents is needed to issue a passport for a minor, and without a passport he cannot leave the country. That would be the easiest solution for now to prevent her taking the boy. As a long-term solution I'd recommend he'd get a good lawyer. Since she's from the Philipines and there's the obvious threat she abducts him, he might have a good chance getting custody, but that's up to legal professionals.

Good luck!

I think these are questions best answered by a lawyer, as each case has different circumstances.
I do know that neither one can file for custody unless there is a divorce in process.
I also know that she is legally entitled to take her son with her back to her home country while they are still married.(without his permission as well)
It sounds like she may be stressed out and not receiving an adequate support system here, hence wanting to return home.
I think that you mentioning she never wanted the baby in the first place is extremely trite, as some pregnant women go through a myriad of emotions and ideals while coming to terms with accepting parenthood, and should not be judged for their normal emotional processes.
You don't mention what makes her a bad mother in your eyes, perhaps it may cultural differences?
You should elaborate more on your opinions.
ADDENDUM: I know for a fact that if one parent has citizenship in another country, he/she CAN take that child to that country without the other parents signature. If both parents have US citizenship, then a signature is required.

N.:

Honestly, I would say contact a family lawyer & have him consult with them. It's not a good idea to take advice from others in situations like this because EVERY situation is different even though they may sound the same. Don't want to believe one thing & it really be something else. My fiance was in a similar situation but I don't know if what his lawyer told him would be good advice for your friend since we don't know the "whole" story behind it. Generally, if they both have custody, she "CAN" take the child out of the state. Now out of the country is a little trickier since that involves a passport. Now if his wife already has a passport for the child, she "CAN" take him. The thing behind that though is that the "FATHER" (your friend) would of had to sign for the child to have received the passport (my fiance HAD to do this for his child in order for the ex to get a passport even though they are divorced). So if he hasn't done that, then I believe he has nothing to worry about. Again, I recommend contacting a lawyer & getting their advice. They know the laws & will be able to give him accurate advice... :)

Good Luck to him!