Need Answers About 9 Yr Old Behavior

Everytime he lies, make him write "I will not lie about ...." 10 times and add 5 lines on each time he does it again. Take a favorite thing away for a day and add a day each time. Also, explain, explain, explain.

Oftentimes, when children start lying it's because the outcome fits their expectations. Meaning: if he has found that telling a lie keeps him from getting in trouble, going to bed early, not being able to watch television than he will lie. It also can be someone around him that he's watching or listening to that tells lies. I know I am guilty of telling my teenage daughter to tell someone that calls I am not available. That's a lie to get out of talking to them on the telephone and it's teaching her to lie. So you have to make sure those around him are not demonstrating that kind behavior.
When he lies, don't ignore it. Make him tell the truth. Give him consequences for not telling the truth. He needs to understand a liar is just as bad as a thief. Don't allow the spirit of self-pity to manipulate you. Very often you'll see children do wrong and manipulate parents with crying, screaming or temper tantrums to get out of it. Using self-pity is when the child is playing on your emotions. When he does wrong and you discipline him, make him take his punishment quietly, make him shut up. That way when he gets older he will not disrespect authority in any form when being told what to do.

Confront it.
Call him on it.
EVERY TIME!
Definetely have a sit down talk with him, you and hubby present. DEFINE what lying is in simple terms. (Saying things that didn't actually happen and wanting people to believe that they did happen. Could be lying, could be writting a story.) Figure out a way to explane it to him in a way he understands that will not limit his imagination in constructive ways.
We always use telling things that YOU KNOW ARE NOT RIGHT/ REAL. That works for our daughter.
Have your son help you figure out what the punishments for lying should be. And then if you catch him in a lie, call him on it. Punishment for him no matter how long ago he actually said the lie or how inconvenient it is for you/ him. Remind him every time he gets caught what your definition of a lie is and that it is wrong...

As for the crying and squeeling when that starts happening in our home we send the child to their room until they are done. They choose how long they are in there and when they come out we talk about WHY they felt like they needed to cry... Just tell them that WE don't need to be crying like that, go to your room until you are ready to talk about it. THEN MAKE THEM GO. Even if they decide they are done before they hit the top of the stairs they still must walk into their bedroom before turning around and coming back out. :-)

Use words like WE instead of YOU (we don't do that in our family)unless you are punishing him FOR HIS ACTIONS. But still throw in the WE don't do that in our family.
Remain calm. If he knows he can get you excited about something, he will use it to his advantage later in his life... All of this works of the 2 yr old also. Start young and when he gets to the point of thinking lying will get him out of trouble (all kids try it) you will already have the ground work laid for dealing with it.
Good lUCK!!

I think all outside factors need to be considered. When did this start happening? Was there any major changes in routine? Sometimes even a little change can trigger this behavior. Is there something going on at school hes embarrassed about that may cause him to lie about things? At the age of 9 hes old enough to know better...talking to him will probably be the biggest help to you. Sitting him down and clearly explaining to him the rules of the family (no lying, stealing, any major morals you want to throw in there). Let him know how it makes you guys feel(what if we lied to you about things)! You and your husband can decide a punishment for each time it happens before you talk to him about it. Then tell him clearly if he does it again...xxx will happen. Maybe try some more one on one time with you or your husband? With a younger sibling thats home with mom all day while hes at school that can be rough to compete with. Id say the biggest thing is to follow through and be consistent if the behavior doesnt change...but overall talk to him find out whats going on...it make take a couple talks cause 9 yr old boys dont just open up,lol. Good luck to you!!~~~

I've had the same problem with my boys. What I tend to do is tell them to go to their rooms until they can tell me the truth and talk calmly about the lie and why they lied. If they cry or squeal they go to their rooms until they can calm down and talk to me. I don't stand for it or listen to it. They determin how long they are in their rooms, not me. When they are ready to talk to me about the incident then we calmly discuss it and decide on a mutually agreeable consequence for their misbehavior. My boys are so into their video games that all it takes is for me to threaten to take them away and the truth comes pouring out. Normally my boys lie about getting homework/classwork done so I end up taking their video games for one day (or more adding a day an incident if it's repeated behavior) more than it takes for them to complete the missing work. I thankfully haven't had a problem recently. They eventually have learned I won't tolerate lying. It also has helped my situation that we are Christians and the Bible tells us lying is a sin. Gives you a bigger source to back you up.

Good luck - S.