Hi E.,
I work loan modifications, and unfortunately, what the bank has told you is correct. In order to "be considered" (not necessarily qualify) you have to be late at LEAST 90 days. Otherwise they don't see the undue hardship, they figure whatever you're doing now to stay afloat should continue to work for you, and when it doesn't then they'll consider a loan mod.
There is a balance they search for when considering...you can't show too much hardship and, like you now, you can't show too little...same thing happens with income. That is why it is always suggested that you seek assistance when negotiating the modfication.
Never trust a company that wants your money without Pre-Qualifying you and doesn't tell you IN WRITING what happens if after PreQual, the bank then turns you down. Meaning, how much money will you get back. Also make sure that you are aware of how much money you pay upfront, and how much at the end of the process. Any company that wants to charge you all upfront should be one to watch out for.
Please email me offline if you need more info, no obligation, just happy to help, if I can.
____@____.com
Good luck!