Need Advice..my Daughter Doesn't Eat Much

I will preface this with saying I am not an expert... but if she is healthy and thriving and the doctors are not worried I would not worry. Forcing a child to eat is dangerous territory for lots of reasons.

Poor vit A levels can cause anorexia- a desire to not want to eat.

Seeing an endocrinologist is a good idea. Low cortisol hormone output can cause a person to not want to eat much. The growth hormones also come from the endocrine system. If it were me Id do some research on this.

Oh, I feel your pain! My now 5 1/2 year old daughter was the same way from birth until sometime around her 5th birthday. She was tiny (still is!) The doctors made me crazy wanting me to stop nursing, even though it was the only thing she would reliably eat, then high calorie her diet, put butter in everything, pediasure (that she wouldn't drink), high calorie ice-cream smoothies, etc. Things that just didn't sit right with my husband and me. She ate healthfully, just not very much. She would eat 3 strawberries for a snack and her friend would eat the entire carton. That kind of thing. She was a grazer and I got very good at having food out and available at all times. An ice cube tray on the coffee table (filled with little snacks of different kinds) worked wonders and I became very good at packing the kitchen with me!
Another thing that really helped was only putting a small amount on her plate. My husband would put an entire plate of food in front of her and she would eat 3 bites and be done! If we only put a tablespoon of each item on her plate, she was more likely to eat more. Not a lot, mind you, but a few more bites. Every bite counted to us! I think the amount of food on her plate could be overwhelming.
They couldn't find anything wrong and the doctor finally sent her to a nutritionist at Children's Hospital who had us do a food diary. She met with us and said, there is nothing wrong with her, she is just small and so not as hungry as bigger kids.
Once she was about 2 1/2 it was clear that she was on her "own little growth curve" and the doctors finally let up on us. I am glad to hear that you are not having that problem. Just remember, that some kids have to be at the bottom, or there is no bell curve! It would drive me nuts, because my nephew was in the 99% percentile for weight and no one ever said anything to my sister, but that isn't good either. You feel horrible as a mother, when people question your ability to meet the most basic need of your child. I cried many tears. You start to question yourself. DON"T!!!! It is just how your child is! It is OK!
If it makes you feel any better, at 4 years old, my tiny daughter finally got on the growth chart at the 3rd percentile for weight and the 10th for height. Now, at 5, she is in the 5th percentile for weight and the 10th for height. She will never be a big girl, but she is very smart and very active and eats quite well most days. My husband and I marvel at how the girl who would eat those 3 strawberries and be full, ate an entire bowl of grapes and banana, two tablespoons of hummus, two bowls of whole wheat pasta and a glass of milk tonight. She had just finished dance class. She was hungry!
Your daughter will grow out of it. It is OK. Some people just aren't very big. Look at yourself too. Were you a tiny kid? Are you very big now? Take those things into account too.
Sorry to be so long winded. I just feel your pain and wanted you to know, that all will be well.

I completely understand what you are going through. I have a 4 yr old who has recently hit 30 lbs and barely eats. We have tried everything to get her to eat without much success. She is growing, so the Dr is not concerned at this point. The one tip our Dr gave us was to not make eating a behavoral issue. I chose not to force her to eat because frankly, it doesn't work. I would say that as long as she is growing and she had no health issues, to just keep offering her a variety of foods. She will eat when she is hungry. Hang in there :)

You can always get a second opinion if it helps you feel better, but I can tell you that as a child, I was the same way. I was also my mom's first and it drove her nuts. According to her, I ate like a bird, would take an hour to finish a meal, and was a bean pole from day 1. And the doctors always told her the same thing: Don't worry about it. My height was fine. I was healthy otherwise. I had healthy foods to eat. Doctor recommended I take a multi-vitamin every day and otherwise not to worry, I would be better off in the long run. It was just my metabolism and there was nothing that needed to be done about it.

That was 35 years ago. Now more kids are more overweight and obese than ever. More kids have type 2 diabetes and hypertension and high cholesterol and heart disease. More kids are at risk for having shorter life spans then their parents. And guess what - I'm just fine. Actually about 10 lbs heavier than I would like to be. Turning 30 and getting married and having a child will do that to you.

Do NOT force her to eat - it will only create issues later (eating disorders, etc.) She knows when she is full, do not make her brain override that signal that her stomach is full. Make sure whatever she is eating is healthy and nutritious, you can also try a vitamin or Pediasure if you and your doctor feel it would help. Many kids (and I would suspect some adults) would do better "grazing" like your daughter does rather than eating 3 biggish meals a day. Do NOT turn it into a battle! She knows what she needs and how much! She will be fine!

Remember that at this age, a tablespoon is usually a serving. So, what might not seem like much, is a serving to them.

My son is the same way and he's 3. It, too, drives me crazy. But, we don't force it, except for him to try a food. He has to at least taste it.

Good luck.

Updated

Remember that at this age, a tablespoon is usually a serving. So, what might not seem like much, is a serving to them.

My son is the same way and he's 3. It, too, drives me crazy. But, we don't force it, except for him to try a food. He has to at least taste it.

Good luck.

6-7 small meals daily I think is not a problem. They even want us as parents to do that. As long as she is healthy which is what your saying. Is a dr. making you feel uncomfortable about it ? There is a lot of small kids out there and it will eventually catch up and they will plump up. I am not sure you should worry. It may be til 3rd grade she will start to be more her age in size and weight.

I have no idea how much nor how little I ate, but I was the smallest kid in the school including the kindergarteners when I started 4th grade and I grew (from 4th grade until I was 16 kinda rapidly, especially at first) to an average size woman ... so, who knows? My current theory is that I was focussed on growing intellectually and didn't leave room for physical development (this is based partly on the large number of really tiny kids in the advanced classes in 7th grade) ... but of course that is random and pretty darn speculative ;).

Forcing a child to eat seems to me like it can only guarantee food anxiety of one sort or another.

Remember that you are doing the best you can--and NO ONE has a right to ask more than the best you can, and NO ONE has any right to denigrate you for doing the best you can. It's all any of us can do.

Heh, i'm with you. My three year old just hit thirty pounds (but she is also 99th percentile for height).
I recommend the book 'How to get your kid to eat, but not too much'. I've run this by my doctor and done a lot of other reading, and it seems to be sort of state-of-the-art feeding advice. It will give you ideas about how to handle meal times, and, probably, make you feel better about the situation.
As long as your doctor doesn't recognize any symptoms of malnutrition i think your best bet is acceptance. Your daughter has always been like this, and it is probably just who she is.

It is still frustrating, though, and you have my sympathy. Good luck.

Do NOT FORCE her to eat.
She's eating what she needs.
She'll eat more when she's ready.
Make sure everything she eats is very nutritious.
Please take a step back and appreciate
how healthy both of your children are.

My son was (is) the same way. He weighed 24 lbs at 3 years old. He entered kindergarten weighing 33 lbs. He is now 12 and still small, but that doesn't stop him. Last year he was the smallest child to ever play on his middle school's football team (they had to special order a smaller helmet for him). Now he is in 7th grade and is still the smallest child in the school (his school has 6th, 7th, and 8th). I stopped worrying about his size a long time ago, it obvious he was just meant to be on the smaller side. As far as getting your daughter to eat, I found that my youngest ate best when she started with smaller portions. If we gave her the same amount of food that her older brothers were eating she would hardly touch a thing. However when we gave her tiny portions, she would often go back for seconds, thirds, and sometimes more. She would often out eat her brothers. It seemed that she got overwhelmed seeing what she thought was too much food, but she thrived when we relinquished control to her.

Have the docs ruled out all genetic issues? Are there any really small people in either of your families? So she might just be genetically predisposed to being very small the rest of her life? Have you seen a Pediatric GI doc and Peds Endocrinologist?

You don't mention her fluid intake....is she drinking normal? Above average amounts? What is she drinking? Is she filling up on fluids before meals?

This must be very frustrating to watch her younger sister pass her up in weight and appetite and constantly wonder if there is something you can be doing differently.

Since she is not getting proper nutrition, you need to give her Pediasure, its like a chocolate tasting drink that has all the vitamins/minerals she needs - she will think it tastes great - has protein in it (like a meal replacement) so that way if she doesn't eat, at least you will feel better if she is getting these in. Also try to get her to eat some fruits and veggies (make smoothies with lots of healthy stuff in them - she will never know, she'll think she is having a milkshake or a smoothie).
My son when he was little was like this - he is now 15 and eating me out of house and home - they will outgrow the phase, but you need to keep supplying them things with great nutritional value.

my daughter has been a small eater too. her first peditrician threatened to put her in the hospital to tube feed her (without doing any testing)...didn't like that idea, so i went and got a second opinion...yes she is small, no she wasn't THAT bad.

i would say as long as she's eating mom don't worry unless she just doesn't eat period, she will eat when she's hungry. my daughter is almost 8 and JUST starting eating like a pig. she ate 2 adult size plates the other night....OMG! never saw that kid eat so much and she is FINALLY looking like an 8 year old but still small.

Since the doctors say she is right on track for growth and she is active and sleeping well as well as the fact that she has always been this way, DON'T worry about it! Just remember since she eats only small amounts you need to make EVERY bite count. Always offer her healthy foods that are rich in nutrients!

If your little one is healthy, don't worry too much. Just try to provide her very nutritious foods for the time she is eating. Also, do not stress on the big meals. Leave her healthy foods out as snacks for her to graze if that is what she likes. Try smoothies. If she like smoothies, make her different ones every day. Try avocado and mango for example. It is very nutritious and will help her gain some weight. You can add yogurt in your smoothies and they can be great for breakfast. Try giving her small portions of different kinds of foods and see if that will work. Let her try a couple of bites of chicken for example and then a couple spoons full of pasta, then small bits of veggies. This works for my 2 year old son. He likes variety. I think you are already doing a great job. But I also know what you meant when you said you will feel good if you know your daughter's tummy is full. Don't worry too much if you know she is healthy.... and please do not force her to eat. Good luck!!!!