Need Advice on Which Son Shares Bedroom with Which Son

This may sound a bit crabby, but since the 9 year old has so much energy to pick on his brother, why not have him use that energy to clean up his room?

Can you put the crafts in the basement? If so you could have baby#4 and 18mo in 1 room, 9yr in small room, and 6yr in big room. Hmm, have a spare don't you. 6yr in with crafts? Or maybe 18 mo with crafts. Maybe baby#4 with crafts. Either way get 9yr in small room on his own. He is the oldest.

OK, so 9yr old gets small room, 6yr and 18mo get big room, crafts get another room, and you can all reshuffle in a year.

anyway you can give the oldest his own room?

as for the 2 big bedrooms and the 1 small room the new baby should be in your room and the 18 month old should share a room 6 and the 9 yr should have his own room for now or even having the craft time in your room with the baby in there and that might just work I have a 4 yr old and 2 9month olds and it was hard but my 4 got the smaller of the 2 rooms bc the twins have more stuff and we have one place jus for toys and crafts and that is our PLAY ROOM what a wonderful thing it is (it is in what they call a formal dining room)
That is just my opinon you can do what you want and I do know that it is hard having all those boys

Try giving the SMALLEST room to the 9 year old by himself. He has responsibilies to keep his own stuff cleaned up. Also, he is on the verge of adolescence, and may need his own space. Besides, schoolwork and night time hours will be disruptive to younger brothers. Give the biggest room to the next 2, despite the difference in ages. Use the medium-bigger for the crafts. In a couple of years, re-evaluate, and maybe condense both older boys into the biggest room together. Or, that may never work. But, meanwhile, this will help. Also, be wary of regular stuff (not just toys) that the 6 year old will have (pencils!!) which the 18 month old should not handle, so really keep an eye on objects shared by a 6 & toddler.

Good luck! Hopefully, now the 9 year old will have to step up in his behavior, and later maybe the small room can be crafts and the 2 + 2 room sharing will work. Your husband is thinking dorms and fraternities, but your boys' ages are maybe too widespread for that.

Hi H.! You don't have to be locked into anything...just switch it up and see what works the best. We call it "roommate switching" @ my house. We also switch rooms around too, when it suits me. I have one that tends to fight w/the younger one, so I have my oldest w/my youngest boy right now and the 2 middle ones together. It's working much better than the oldest/youngest switch. But I like switching it up. That way it helps each of the build relationships w/all of their brothers (sisters)...I have 4 boys, 5 girls so it's busy!!
Blessings

I have no experience with this, but have you asked them what they want? You may think the 6 year old is miserable, but he may want to stay there. I also love crafts, but maybe you could buy storage containers for them and use your dining room or put them in the toy room. It seems a bit of a waste to have a room that is not used to its fullest.

It might be good to put the 6 and 18 mo. old together for the time being.
They need more sleep at present.
You can always change them around as things progress and to avoid any conflicts that may arise.
Give the oldest his space for awhile.
It is good for kids to experience the various adjustments with each other that changing rooms provides.
We played "musical rooms" a number of times with our 4 girls and 2 boys and their 4 bedrooms.
Have fun with it.

You could always try the 9 year old and the 18 month old together and the 6 year old with the new baby when he moves out of your bed room. If your 9 year old doesn't like it you can tell him since he can't get along with his other brother he doesn't get a choice. Maybe he would make an effort to get along with his brother if he thought it would make a difference. If it doesn't work you can always change the rooms again. I know that would be a real pain but, it may take trial and error to find the best solution.

i like your husbands idea.

Have you thought about putting the 9 year old in the small room by himself, then 2 boys in each of the bigger rooms and make a section of the toy room in the basement a craft area? I don't think sticking all 4 in 1 room would be smart. The oldest might want a little privacy and feel more independant. Have his own stuff, rather than having to share with his brothers.

I think the two older boys in one room and the two younger in the other makes sense. Have you thought about separating the bunk beds in the two older boy's room, and diving the room in half, so they each have their own half to be off limits to the other. And they can't cross that line! LOL - Maybe you can tell the older boy that he can have his own room, in the basement, if he can prove that he can be a good brother & live nicely with his younger brother for a couple more years. But by then they might be best buds. :-D Good luck. I grew up in a family of four and things like this were always an issue, but Mom ruled.

I am the mom to 5 boys & I can't imagine it ever being a good idea to put all 4 boys in one room. I feel you are right wanting to separate the 2 oldest at least for now. My 2 oldest were different as yours are except in reverse. If the more aggressive one had been older I would never have put them in the same room. We wouldn't have had any peace. I would put the 2 middle ones together at least for now. Give the older one some space{maybe needed space} with the understanding that this is tempopary. Good luck!

This is way freaky, but it might work out for the best. Move the 9 year old and 18 month old in together. Tell him you need his help with the younger boy and sort of make him feel special that he can help teach, train, and care for the younger one.
Put the baby in with the 6 year old and sort of tell him the same thing, big brother, helping out with younger bother, helping mom and dad.
Do Not Keep The Baby In Your Room More Than a Few Weeks If At All. This is not a good idea. Social workers, physchologists, and psychiatrists all agree on this one. Not good for you, not good for your marriage, not good for the baby.
If worse comes to worse and the baby is a girl you will have to rethink this. Then I suggest the older boy have his own room which will also be the craft room, they baby in her own room and the two middle boys share a room until the older boy goes to college. Then the second oldest boy gets his own room/craft room and the older boy will share with the younger boy when he is at home.
P. R

I grew up with 4 brothers. Mom put them together according to personality. If your 2 oldest don't get along right now keep them in separate rooms. Let the oldest have his own room until the baby is ready to move in. Or if one of the rooms is big enough, make it the 6 yr. old/craft room and put the 9 yr old in the small bedroom. You may just have to go by trial and error. Good luck. (by the way, mom tried all 4 in one room and that REALLY didn't work but it might for you)

I live in a house that has the same bedroom setup upstairs. The family the lived there before me had 5 boys. What they did (and it may work for you) made all three rooms bedrooms. They had the small bedroom as a single bedroom- the other two rooms had two beds, and every six months they rotated who "got their own room." When they had their own room, they could decorate it however they wanted and it made them feel like a "big man." As they got older (high school) then the oldest kept "his own room". When he graduated/moved out, the next one got his own room, etc. Maybe you could put the crafts in part of one of the big bedrooms (so it is still technically being shared), then the one small room would still be a big deal for the one getting it to himself. I don't know if you have the bunk beds set up, but a girl I work with has twin boys (as do I) and told me to never get them. One of them threw the other off the top - he hit the ceiling fan and broke it before landing on a floor full of toys (ouch!)... and they were just playing! You might want to keep the beds separate if the older one is picking on the younger one to prevent anything like that.

H.,

I don't think there would be anything wrong with pairing the boys differently than two oldest and two youngest. It might give the more widely spread ages a chance to become buddies, more so than they would be if they didn't share a room. You could do #1 & 3, and 2 & 4 together. Or 2&3 for now then add 4 to 1 a year from now (although #1 might bulk at losing his own room.) I'm sure there aren't any hard and fast rules about this, so go with what you feel works best for your family peace.

(BTW, I teach piano at home too.)
Laura

I would put the 9 yr old ih his own room and then when the expectant baby is ready for a room have them share. He could help too iff the baby wakes up at night and is also more likely to be able to go back to sleep if the baby wakes him (compared to the younger 2). I would then put the 18 mo. old and 6 yr. old together. This is just my suggestion.

hmmm lets see you said the bedrooms are large, now with the ages of the kids is there a specific reason there are no toys in the bedrooms? are you comfortable with the 18 month old and a new baby once mobile in a play room with the biiger boys and their toys? it depends on the kids and thier stuff but i know a lot of parents have issues with small toy parts left out from big kids and babies, for others it seems like thier little ones just know and it's never an issue. but anyways, you could move your 9 year old to the basement since hubby thinks it would make a proper bedrom, and all his stuff could then be in his room and he'd have lasting privacy for as he gets older. leave your other two children where they are and again put their things in their rooms, this will emliminate the toy room but will easily get you through the first year with the new baby in your room, at which point you could easily room the two youngest together. if the basement is big enough splitting it into two rooms isn't hard to do, either, you could actually have a wall put up or use book shelves, secured of course with brackets to the ceiling or floor we used 4 back to back and then side to side and secured then together and it gave us a nice divider and lots of storage space. you like crafts get creative, with a little bit of creativity i bet you can find a way that they each have thier own space and you still get to keep your space as well. good luck.

I think you need to start now and devise a system of helping, respecting, following rules, etc. in which EVERYONE knows the rules....post them if you have to....all but the young one should be able to read them or at least read w/ help. Make this a FAMILY ordeal. Get input from them.

Why or why not is this allowed, not allowed, so that they feel like they have a say in the matter. Let them know they are GROWING UP and you need their help. Make sure you assign tasks and rotate them weekly or whatever. Things like folding laundry......YES, even the 6 year old. Assign them things seperately and together.

Give them opportunity to WORK together to complete tasks. I think you'll find if there is input and structure involved, you may be surprised at how well they work together. NOT that there won't be a fight now & then, but provide opportunity to accomplish something together. Reward them for their effort, respect and keeping peace. Remind them how much time they're wasting when they're fighting. They're not accomplishing anything. Give them reasonable time limits. That way......they won't have TIME to fight.

You'll figure out if they can "live together". This could work itself out.