Need Advice on Sleeping Arrangements

Updated on June 19, 2007
R.I. asks from Downingtown, PA
6 answers

i have a 4 month old daughter and she is currently sleeping in a pack and play, next to my bed. i put my older daughter in her own room at this age, but i have a small 2 bedroom house and don't have a seperate room for the baby this time around.

i was going to keep the baby in my bedroom until she was a year old, but i don't think i can wait that long. it seems every sneeze, caugh or movement i make, it disturbs the baby. i haven't been sleeping very well because of this.

my question is: what do you think of putting a 4 month old baby in the same room with a 2.5 year old? my older daughter is very good with the baby but can get rough if not supervised, as any child can. i'm worried that if i do put the baby in her room, she may do harm to the baby accidentally while i'm sleeping. of course, i would put a baby monitor in the room, but that doesn't mean something could go undetected.

the other thing i could do is get a sofabed and have my "bedroom" be in the living room. if this were the case, i'd need a very comfortable sofabed so i was wondering if any of you had suggestions.

thank you!

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So What Happened?

we decided to play musical rooms.
we put our toddler in the master bedroom and put the baby in the smaller bedroom.
we bought a sofabed and will take residence in the living room until the children are able to be together without us having to worry about incidents.
so far, so good although the sofabed isn't that comfortable
ahhh, the things we do for our kids!

More Answers

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S.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello! I was in a very similar situation as you are now. I have a (now) 3 1/2 year old daughter and a one year old daughter. When my second daughter was born she stayed in the room with us, while my first was in her room, and we have one more bedroom that my friend was staying in several days a week while she commuted here from MD to finish grad school. So the baby was in our room in a pack and play until just recently (at a year old) when my friend finished school last month! It was kind of rough having her in there for so long. You couldn't go in at night and turn on the light to get dressed, or if she was taking a nap and you had to go in the room you had to be REALLY quiet, all that stuff. But I really never considered putting them in the same room. You don't want the youngest waking up in the middle of the night and waking the other one up. And if they are different sleeping schedules that would be really rough. And of course the safety issue, I don't think I would be able to sleep. So see how long you can stick it out with the baby in your room. You can always have some kind of white noise to help. We had an air purifier we used and it really seemed to help.
I am also a stay at home mom. I would love to chat with you sometime about homeschooling. We are planning to do the same! I would like to get involved in some kind of homeschool co-op. Where about are you located? ~ S.

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K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello R.,

We had a similar situation. When we had my daughter, we lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. My 3 year old son had his own room and my daughter slept in a pack and play in my room until about 3 months. I had the same concerns. I was afraid my son would climb in her crib or just even the crying from the baby would wake my son or vise versa. In the long run it worked out great. The baby never disturbed my son during the night and my son never bothered the baby. Even if he did wake up he always came right into my room to get me. My suggestion is to move the baby into your daughter's room. Everyone will adjust. Just keep the monitor on high and close to your bed. I hope everything works out for the best.

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L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

we had this problem, as well. Our boys are 25 months apart, and at the time, we had only two usable bedrooms. I was comfortable with them sharing a room together, either. We used to change rooms around to get a decent night sleep's, and sometimes we'd sleep downstairs on the floor on sleeping pads we used for camping. Hey! All of you need to get some quality rest. Use whatever space in the house you need to.
If you think a sofa bed would do the trick, I'd go for it. I don't have a recommendation, except try them out carefully before you buy. I've slept on some nice ones when I've stayed with friends. My mother-in-law has an aerobed that she uses every night. She swears by the comfort of that, and she deflates it and reinflates it daily. She started using it when my father-in-law was ill, and she couldn't sleep in bed with him anymore. Now that he's passed away, she still uses the aerobed, because she says it's more comfortable than her traditional mattress, and it's held up well. That might be an option. They come in larger sizes and even have stands to keep them up off the floor, too.

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K.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you don't want to change the actual sleeping arrangement, I suggest you get something that has been a life saver for us!!!! A sound machine. You can buy them online at Walmart or Target. The brand is homedics - and it is a small machine you can plug up by her pack and play. We use the waterfall noise on full blast to block out extra noise and provide a "white noise" curtain between my very sensitive daughter and the world - good luck.

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T.H.

answers from Altoona on

mine were about the same age when we put them into the same room..we actually only did it because our older one kept going into the youngests room and waking her up wanting to play. my oldest was in a toddler bed and the youngest we had in a crip, the pack and play didnt work cuz the oldest would climb into it so we used the crib. it worked out better because he didnt wake her up, instead he would play in the room if he was up first or watch tv, then when he saw she was awake he would come get us so we could get her out. im not sure why it was different when they were in the same room, maybe the protective older brother thing, i dont know... they now sleep in separate rooms but they play in both together so they're still pretty close when it comes to that. if you can i would even try a crib, that way the oldest cant get into it at all, it would be difficult. the musical idea sounds great too! that would keep out any noise the baby might hear. i was blessed with great sleepers so not much noise wakes my kids up.

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A.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi R.-
We had/have a similar situation. I have 1 1/2 year old and 6 month old girls. As far as them being in the room together and disrupting each other, I don't think you should have a problem. I think children adjust to the noises their siblings make very quickly. I know when my baby cries in the night, my older girl doesn't even flinch. And in the morning it's cute because she'll talk to her baby sister, I think she likes the company. My 1 1/2 yr old is still in a crib though, so I don't have to worry about her climbing in with the baby or getting too close to injure her. Again, unless your oldest tries to climb in with the baby already, I would hope she wouldn't start that habit now. But of course, take precautions, use the monitor, keep the bedroom door open so you can hear all that is going on, etc. I would try not to say anything to your oldest about climbing in the crib/leaving the baby alone- no warnings- because that might just put ideas in her head (unless she tries something- then discipline).
I come from a large family- 6 kids- and we always shared rooms without any problems (well, except the usual sibling rivalry as we got older).
Good Luck!

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