Need Advice on Crib Training!!

Read 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' it's a wonderful book. As far as crying it out is concerned, my son did for about a week and now he's slept great for over a year! good luck! :)

Hi K., when I read this I felt like I was reading my old journal - that was EXACTLY me 5 years ago. My son was about 8 months old and we were co-sleeping. When I realized that he was waking often 8 times at night to nurse, I decided that something needed to change so that we could both get some more rest. I was very uncomfortable with a cry-it-out approach. I read Tracy Hogg's "The Baby Whisperer" book and felt like it was a good compromise with how I was feeling and what I needed. Her approach is to be responsive to the baby's cries so that they know you are still someone to be trusted, but to lie him back down once he stops crying so that he figures out that it is time to sleep. I think that the first night, it took about 35 minutes and my son kept standing up and crying over and over again. I'd pick him up and kiss him, and then lie him back down again. I did that about 50 times and then he calmed down and went to sleep. It got shorter each night and within a week, he was going to sleep on his own AND sleeping much better at night. I was still willing to feed him if it had been at least 4 hours since the last feeding, but after just a few weeks he was sleeping through the night.

I didn't agree with EVERYTHING in the book, but I feel like it is respectful of the child and the parent, so I recommend taking a look at the book.

Best of luck! I'm due to have my 4th next week and they are all such blessings. Enjoy your little one!

http://www.mamasource.com/request/13395533657213566977

Check out this previous thread that I reposnded to at the time. We used the Ferber method at 13 mo or so and it worked great.

Hi,
You child will still love you if you show your baby that you and your husband are the one who set the rules. Baby's are very clever and know that you will be there all the time. The more you let him get away with it, the more he will try to keep you up to get your attention. Try to get him in a crib and make it sound like it's sowonderfull to be such a good baby that he can sleep in a crib. Stay in the room and everytime he gets your attention, you let hear your friendly , quiet voice and say: Mama/ daddy is here try to go to sleep. You turn out the lights and pretend you go to sleep too or you have a little light on and read a book in bed.When he cryes in the beginning you can stand by him and stoke his head and sing softly and make him feel like he gets all your attention. the first nights it will be difficult but don't give up. After a while you will see he will go to sleep easy. The baby has to know you are still there. After a couple of days it will be easier. Complement the baby in the morning that he has been so good sleeping in his crib.
The baby will understand after a while that his sleeping place is his crib and that Mammy/Daddy are always there.
Onece the child sleeps, you can leave the room.
Do not let you baby run over you because you will have more trouble setting rules the older he gets.If you start setting rules now you will have a child who's lissens to you and your husband.

Let me know how it goes.

I'm V. Abrams I'm a wonderfull mom,my daughter is 21 now. I have done daycare and I'm a European preschool teacher. Maybe my Englisch isn't all that but I hope you understand what I say.

____@____.com

I won't try to say it will be easy to make the transition, but necessary. I know that babies need lots of love and attention, but they also form habits and know if the milk is there, why not have some? My son is 8 mos. old and sleeps entirely through the night in his own crib. Make sure the crib is warm when you start moving him - maybe put a hotwater bottle in it to warm it up first because he is accustomed to your body heat, then swap it out when you put him down. Also - get him a lovey - sleep with it yourself or carry it around so it picks up your scent. My son always puts his between his hands and partially cover his face with it. He enjoys his mobile to watch and hear, as well as a few small stuffed animals. The first few nights might be hard, but once he gets used to his bed, he will be fine. Do you ever bottle feed? Either do a nice big nursing session or give him a big bottle before bedtime. Good luck and feel free to email if you get frustrated. You can do it!

In bed co-sleeping or in a crib, a baby will wake.
Especially, when going through growth-spurts in which they do need more intake to keep up with their growth and developmental changes.

For the 1st year, a baby still needs to be fed on demand. Per our Pediatrician.

Next, make sure you have enough milk output... or baby will be hungry. Or, makes sure he is latching on properly, or baby will be hungry and not get enough intake.

Each baby is different. And their sleep patterns & wakings will continue to change as they change.

Or, some Moms give their baby a bottle at night... with pumped milk, and have the Daddy give it to baby when he/she wakes. So that Mommy can get some sleep.

If you want to try and put him in a crib, then you just have to try it. But it will not be a magic remedy to make him sleep all night. Or, give him a lovey to sleep with too. But again, each baby is different.

Ultimately, "self-soothing" & sleeping is an ability that is attained for a baby, although at different ages for each child and per their development. Also when hitting milestones/developmental changes/growth spurts/ hunger/and having teething... these ALL affect a baby's sleep. And many times ALL these things occur at the SAME time... which is hard for the baby too. ie: growing pains. With the Parent choosing which manner to help soothe their baby.... either crying it out or not....
A baby, needs help too. By nature a baby wakes and cries.

Or, what you can do is, when your baby wakes, just let him be... and see if he can fall back asleep himself. Many times, when the Parent picks them up right away, this only interrupts the baby's own pattern of waking/then self-soothing themselves back to sleep.
For me, I knew when my kids as babies needed "me" to fall back asleep or if they were hungry or if they merely were stirring and waking but not FULLY awake and would go back to sleep if I did not interrupt them.
Observe HIS cues.... each baby has their own pattern.
My daughter was a very light sleeper as well.. .but I knew when she would go back to sleep herself, if I did not bother her intermittent wakings, versus if she were hungry, for example, or if she would not go back to sleep.

Also, sometimes it is the parents, that are waking the baby. They don't sleep in a vacuum and sometimes snoring and the jostling around of their parents in bed, can wake them. For a bit of time, my Hubby's snoring woke my daughter as a baby... it actually scared her. Then she got used to it. So, there are always 2 sides to a coin.

All the best,
Susan

This is just my belief so not to be taken personal. I had never changed diapers before I had my daughter. When I was married we bought the crib and I tried it for a few weeks. However every time she cried those panic and end of the world cries I thought to myself how would I feel if I were a baby that first into the world felt the skin of my mom and cuddles from family then to be by myself in a crib with no heart beat next to me and not able to articulate why. I thought of all that my daughter could be feeling since babies senses are so in tune. I thought something was wrong with me because I wanted my daughter to sleep with me to feel safe and I did not want to make her cry. She would feed a few times a night and I said forget the crib and she slept with us in the bed with my arm the whole night around the top of her head to protect her from being rolled over on. I had my own business at this time I worked 3 days before I had even delivered her and then right after her birth I worked. My work is very active and hands on with no sitting down. I just wrapped her up in the maya wrap on me and went to work. I would feed her with no one noticing while I worked they just thought she was sleeping. When she was 7 months old I separated from her father and became instantly a single mom but that is really the way it was all along hence the separation. So I got very little sleep but I just powered through it. For me I thought having my daughter sleep in a crib did not feel right to me in my heart and then I wanted to find out why as humans do we do something that is not natural. I realized it was just a westernized way of thinking and that other cultures don't do cribs. No matter how getting no sleep aged me my daughter was worth it after all that is why I decided to have kids to drastically change my life in the best way ever!

Some babies aren't ready to give up feeding during the night, and some just aren't ready to sleep through the night in their crib. We just got my 16 month old back to sleeping in his crib and through the night (he did it for one week after he turned 1, and then had teething and sleeping issues). It seems like he has phases where he is more receptive to the crib and sleeping well.

The easiest way to sleep and breastfeed at the same time is to co-sleep. My son always slept better and longer with us, and we got to the point where he didn't even need to eat at night (you will know when he is ready to stop). The only thing about co-sleeping is that you can then have problems getting them back into the crib.

Also, realize that as a child gets to a new phase, is teething (the molars are what messed my son up), or gets sick, they can start waking up and you will just have to retrain all over. Might as well figure out what works for you now, and train when they get older, so you don't have to do it again.

My children are teens a beyond now but I did the transition slowly. If he cries more than 5-10 minutes get him as it is something else. It is great you are breast feeding and that helps many things however if you are working all day away from him he might feel that and need more bonding. My son was sick and on meds for years when he was young so he slept with us so I could look out for fevers and other problems from the meds. My husband got up early and brought my daughter into bed with me to breastfed. So if you can get him to sleep he may make a better habit of the early morning feeding to break that fast. I wonder if you rock him to sleep would he be laid into the crib? Whatever you do stay relaxed.

Hi K.! Sorry to hear about your sleeplessness. I can totally relate. Our lil' man slept in a co-sleeper next to our bed until he was 6 mos old. He was waking about every 3 hours so none of us were getting any sleep at night. We moved him from our room to a crib in his own room & it was surprisingly easy. For the next 4 mos, we would rock him to sleep & he would sleep 4-6 straight hours. I think we may have been waking him through the night when he was in our room. When he turned 10 mos, we finally decided to try a modified cry-it-out method. We let him cry for 5 min the first time & then went him to soothe him by rubbing his back. We left the room after about 10 min & then let him cry for about 8 min the next time, which seems like an eternity. After that we had intended on letting him cry for 10 min but he fell alseep after 6 min of crying. The next night, he cried for 5 min & then fell alseep. The next night, it was only 3 min before he fell asleep. Then after that he magically began sleeping through the night. He is now 22 mos old & has slept consistently through the night since then. He also has a nighttime routine which he has followed pretty much since birth, so he knows when it's bed time. He gets a bath followed by a lotion massage, then bed time story or two. Until he was 15 mos old, we would rock him to sleep but now we just set him in the crib & he falls to sleep on his own. I hope this helps you out some. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my boy when he was a baby. We started by putting him to bed in his crib and having him sleep there until he woke in the middle of the night. I would try to put him back in his crib until he would not sleep at all in his crib. It was a long and frustrating process and you have to really stick it out but if you keep it up it will work. I am a softy on the crying thing too so I always timed it, if he was still crying after 10 minutes I would go and get him. Good luck with the changeover.

Hi K.,

I understand how you fell, my little one was around 9 months when I did the crib training, the cry out method was the only thing that works for him, I this did our bedtime routine and laid him in crib, he cried a lot, sometimes over 2 hrs, but I went to check on him every 10 min, but hey, he is an awesome sleeper now, he is little over 3 and I this tranfer him to his big boy bed, he not even get out of the bed, he wait until I pick him up!
I never though I will do the cry out method, was awful, I cry the whole too!
But was totally worth it, I was a pacifier all night and none of us was sleeping!

Im sure you will make the best decision, but consistency is the key, whatever you decide to do, stick to and things will be ok!

Good luck!

I was the exact same!!! I was totally against crying it out but it got to a point where my son was waking up every hour. I was at my wits end. I finally decided to let him cry it out. The first night it took about an hour. The second night it took 9 minutes and the third night it took 4 minutes and then after that when I would put him down in the crib he would cry for 30 seconds after I gave him the goodnight kiss and I love you. He then slept through the night. He loved me just as much in morning and we were both well rested. I kicked myself for not doing it earlier....I tried going in after 1 minute then after 2 minutes and building it up and that totally did not work for him. it made him more frustrated I think.
Anyhoo, good luck and just try it..for your sanity.
S.

Few things. Be prepared. He had eight months of sleeping this way. It will probably not be smooth sailing! We transitioned our daughter to the crib at four months. We tried crying it out and my husband and I both cried. But....we didn't know what else to do. We had tried everything! We would just let her cry for a little bit and then go in. That didn't work. When we committed to crying it out both my husband and I were so tired that when she cried for a long time we both were not upset! We needed sleep! It only took a couple of nights of crying to work. He will love you the same. My daughter is my best buddy! You have good chances if you stick with what you decide. Read The Sleep Lady Good Night Sleep Tight. It is a softer approach to crying it out. I also read Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child by Weissbluth. He also gives different approaches on crying out. The tricky thing is you are still feeding him! I asked my doctor at six months if she still needed milk during the night and she said no so I stopped. Good luck!