Need Advice on 10 Yr Old's Sleeping Arrangements

The idea of a transition period appeals to me. Could little sister have her own bed in big sisters room for a while? Or have a baby monitor in her own room to listen in on her older sister's breathing? Or could baby transition to sleeping in little sister's room in a bassinet or crib? At 5 months old, baby should be starting to be able to sleep through the nite...

When I was very small I slept with a very large teddy bear (I remember it being as big as me???)When I was a teenager I listened to a radio turned on very low to help me get to sleep.

When our kids were little we put on a Bible tape for them to fall asleep to. My daughter slept with a special (small) pillow until she was 9 or so. And she rediscovered it a while back and pulled it back into her life (at 16!).

Would any thing like this help your daughter? Ask her!

Good luck!

I have to agree that the step parent comes second in this case. He has to honor your request to make sure your daughter has a great self-esteem and feels confident in herself. My suggestion would be for big sister to be the one to move out of the shared room. That way the room is still familiar for little sister. I would even ask big sister to lay down with little sister for a few minutes for her to get comfortable and sleepy then she can leave the room for her own bed. Have a family meeting to discuss the problem and possible solutions and find something that might work for everyone. (and set up ground rules for family meeting behavior such as no negative remarks only positive solutions!)

My 10 year old had the same problem. We were very patient with her. Meeting whatever request she made for sleeping arrangements(moving her bed in front of the door, light on in bedroom, light on in the hallway and leaving our bedroom door open). I feel it's our responsibility as parents to make our children feel safe. Whatever that means. Your daughter will eventually grow out of it, but right now she needs understanding and patience. Stay strong for your daughter.

It's a transition rather than cold turkey. You are both right, though your husband needs to stop making her feel stupid cause that isn't helping anything. he needs to make her feel good when she does make the effort to sleep in her own room. he needs to realize that she hasn't slept alone for 10 YEARS - so if it takes 10 WEEKS to change it, what's the problem? Maybe go shopping to get her a doll to keep her company when she wakes up at night - or brainstorm with HER to help her find something that will help her feel safe in the new situation. Involve the 10 year old in the process of HER transition. Her sister can model the behaviour for her. and when she goes to bed in her own room, PRAISE her - make a little fuss about it, then again after a week, then again after another week.

I think parents sometimes forget that kids are people too, and that changes take time. "Do it now because I want you to" may be how your husband feels, but it's not realistic.

I agree with everyone's responses thus far. And here is an additional thought: the 14 year old has never slept alone, thus far - and she is 14! Let's not punish the 10 year old. I was just talking to an old friend about my 8 year old who sleeps in our bed, and I don't criticize him for it. Most of us in the older generation NEVER had a room to ourselves, so we can't even imagine what it would have been like to sleep alone in a room. I personally went from sharing a room with my sisters, to sharing a room with a college roommate. So I never slept in my own room until I was in my 20's!!! p.s. being a step-parent myself, we do get selfish sometimes, so tell step-dad to be patient.