Need Advice Om Getting My 3 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night- Unswaddled!

You SHOULD be swaddling at three months. I swaddled mine even after their first baby blankets did not fit. I went out and bought 1.5 yards of material to make blankets to swaddle them until they were 8 months old. Even then they loved to be swaddled or have a small blanket or pillow put behind their back to make them have that little snuggly feeling. Babies love swaddling because it makes them feel safe and after five kids, I found the longer you swaddle, the better off you are.

i love the book On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo. It's pretty much the cry it out method. I definately know that rocking him in the middle of the night is only going to make things worse...after one to two nights he will cry because he knows you will come rock him. let him cry...make sure he's safe and briefly comfort him extending the amount of time between entries to his room each time.

Hi C.! I am surprised by some of the messages you have received already. Not by what they have said, but how they have said it. Mommies are probably the most opinionated people out there, but this is a forum for advice...to help people out, not cut them down.
I had the exact same issue as you do now, just a few short months ago. In fact, it sounded like one of my postings! Everything past yesterday is a bit fuzzy for me, so I can't remember exactly how we did it...but don't despair...it just takes time when making this transition.
One piece of advice I can offer is when we were transitioning our daughter away from the swaddle (the pediatrician said by 4 months to stop because she was rolling over just like your boy), we used the SwaddleMe blanket and swaddled the lower half of her body and left her arms out. In fact, we started slow by leaving one arm in and one arm out and slowly transition to both arms out.
She also slept in her swing or bouncy chair for naps and to transition her to the crib we swaddled her fully and placed her in the crib...we would check in on her often to make sure she was safe. Then again we slowly transitioned her out of the swaddle. We still use the half swaddle method from time to time now and she is 6 months old. As long as her arms are out, she can push herself up if she needs to.

As far as sleeping through the night...it will happen eventually...my daughter is 6 months old and she still wakes up 2-4 times throughout the night. My advice is to talk to your pediatrician, read the books if you want and the advice of others, and then follow your baby's lead and your heart. Trust what your baby and your instincts are telling you...and remember, you are a wonderful mommy and are doing fabulous at the TOUGHEST job in the world!
Take care and good luck!

There is a thing that you can get from Babies r Us that is made of covered foam that forms a U shape and keeps the baby from rolling over. It is great! I agree with the keep swaddling!

The flailing is from a feeling of falling and may jerk him awake, that is why they need to be swaddled, sometimes they hit themselves in the face and wake themselves up during the night.

I am not a fan of cry-it-out especially since it could indincate that he has an ear infection, bad gas or is just hungry. Usually waking with no pain indicates a growth-spurt...he could be using extra energy now too with the rolling over and just may need to nurse more frequently. If you can increase the daytime feedings, calories are cumulative and he may sleep a bit longer...my daughter was an every-two-hours for the first five months! I don't think the Moms who suggested cereal or solid food realized how little he was...those don't start till really four months. Good luck.

hi C.
i just called my doc to get her permission to do what i knew needed to be done..which is to cry it out. she said he was big enough and old enough to sleep through (14lbs and 15weeks)
i hate to say this, but i just did it myself.....close the door and dont go back until the morning. he will eventually put himself back to sleep, it may just take a while. i had to wait 2hrs! my little man is a fighter. but after one night of that, now he sleeps from 9-6. he is exactly the same age. my problem now is naps. he rolls back to front and front to back screaming his head off. i have to just do what i did, but during the day. for some reason it just seems harder. best of luck!

At that age my son wasnt sleeping threw and still needed night time feedings. Heres what we recently did and it has worked wonders on his sleeping all night. Dim the room with only enough light to walk around with, buy black out shades for the windows, use a white noise machiene, we have a little projetor light on that that has images that light on his wall but the room is still dark. He will want a bottle every now and then now. But for the most part he sleeps threw. Try putting him in footie p.j.'s if he seems to not like the sleepers. Wish I would have known about the darking room a few months ago!!! BTW we bought one of those foam things and he just rolled right out of it and I watched him get stuck by the side of the crib. I wont let any toys or anything in the crib. If I remember we rolled up a blanket real tight and let him rest against that but I cannot remember for how long.Best of luck.

I think that swaddling your child is important, but if you're worried about his arms being pinned and not being able to push himself back over to breathe, how about swaddling him just with one arm free? Making the transition gradually is the better solution than just changing suddenly. Try one arm out; if your child will tolerate that, then keep doing that, but if not, go back to full swaddling. If he does tolerate it, then let a few weeks go by before you try swaddling from the chest down with both arms free. Babies just like the feeling of being tightly wrapped; it makes them feel secure. It's why it feels so good when we lie under a heavy quilt!

God bless, and good luck with your little man!

What you might try...They make these things, "Baby Positioners" that keep them from rolling over. You lay the baby in the middle of if and i cannot roll over. It velcros so if adjusts to the size of the baby. It may help. As far as the not swaddling, it is just like any thing else they get used to. It is gonna take some time for him to adjust to not being snuggled. You may try a store bought snuggle blanket. It velcros also and tends to not be so tight keeping it off the face, and my 2 month old can get his hands out of it very easily. Just some ideas.

Have you tried putting him on a crib wedge that has the positioner. He maybe missing the feeling of something holding him. We use one with our 2 month old.

Question: Are you feeding the baby a little rice cereal at night? If not, try that in a feeder bottle with his milk. It will usualy satisfy them longer and they sleep longer. We usually add a little baby bananas food with it as welll as the cereal. If you don't have a feeder, some of the bottles have different size holes and that works fine.

With the timing of the sleep problems it probably is the unswaddleing. However, it could be coinsidental that he is hungry. If he sleeps from 7-12 and then wakes up, does he eat again, is it just a bottle, maybe for him 3 1/2 months is time for cereal or anything that sticks with him longer. My MIL said my husband could not sleep when hungry ever. He still can't. Maybe the pressure on his body from the swaddling allowed him to never feel the hunger and now with no pressure it just feels so different. This is all just a thought for consideration from watching my sisters kids and hearing their conversations. I don't have personal experience. My kids nursed and slept with me for years. Many times I wasn't even aware when they nursed so we had no sleep issues ever.

EDIT: after reading other responses I must say wow. Breathe, relax, and know that there is no way that your doing it all wrong. The sound of some of the responses sounds like someone needs some sleep and a massage. I understand swaddling and think it is important. The longer the better if that is what makes your baby feel secure. All babies and situations are not the same. Mine only swaddled in a blanket for 2 weeks cause they slept at my side essentially swaddled by my body and blanket. I know the arguments about your baby sleeping with you but whatever. In my house it was the best thing to do and worked out perfectly. No downside at all. Me and my husband slept with the babies and everyone felt more secure. It was good for us and it is okay for it not to be good with others. No crime.
I am going to say that you cannot always go with whatever the doctors or 'experts' say. They have been wrong many times. The pediatritians have swung both directions back and forth about breast feeding. So regardless of which side you agree with the doctors were wrong at least part of the time. They have gone back and forth about letting babies cry it out. So there again they were wrong part of the time. Trust yourself and pray.
I personally think breast feeding is best, but everyone can't do it for various reasons so thank God for formula. I also would and have never let any of my children 'cry it out'. They were all well taken care of and watched over. Therefore I treated their crying with looking for what was wrong and why. I believe babies only cry for a reason. The reason needs to be addressed and fixed. A 'spoiled' baby who just wants to be held is not a bad thing. Maybe he needs to be held. He probably feels insecure about something and needs the comfort of someone else. Find out why he is so insecure and address that. The babies that I have seen that always wanted to be held had a mom who never wanted to be bothered. The mom would talk about the baby always climbing on her or whinning about wanting to be picked up but all I saw was the mom always figuring out how to not have to hold the baby. They owned every contraption available to sit the baby in and walk away and the baby was just sad. The one little girl, when I picked her up, would just get so quiet and lay her head on my shoulder with her arm around my neck and be still for an hour before she wanted to get down and do anything else. In my opinion this was a good baby who's emotional needs were not being met. So the baby is just doing everything it can to get its needs met. This baby in no way needed to cry anything out. I am not insinuating that these stories apply to you but just to show how certain behaviors can lead to beliefs about how to handle things and the advice may be completely misguided.
God Bless

Please talk to your pediatrician and read Dr. Brazelton's book on sleep. Do NOT let your baby cry it out. He is too young. Do NOT put cereal in his bottle. He is too young.

My little one had to stay swaddled or she would wake up like that too. I ended up taking 2 receiving blankets, rolling them up and putting one at each side so she would not roll over. It was the only way I could get her to stay asleep.

3 months old is way too young to expect him to sleep through the night. IMO that's ridiculous. If you're not opposed to the CIO method, please note that many pedis suggest not even thinking about starting it until 6 months.

The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is an excellent book on getting them to sleep using gentle, effective methods if you're consistent. But again, 3 months is WAY too young for you to be worrying about STTN. Some babies do, don't get me wrong. Both of mine started STTN at about 2 months....and then stopped at 3.5!!!! At around 4 months babies start noticing more about their world and wake more often at night. It's totally normal. i would really suggest not pushing this, as he's still a very little baby.

I can't tell you about the swaddling. We continued to swaddle until my daughter was 6 months - it's what helped her sleep (and it sounds like your son sleeps better that way, too). I can understand you not wanting him to sleep on his face, though. Good luck with that. But really, I would keep him swaddled...it sounds like he needs it, and most babies do better that way.

***ETA I just read other responses, and please note that, except in cases of severe reflux, pedis and experts alike agree that cereal should NEVER be fed from a bottle. I am an advocate on delaying solids, but even if you are ready to give cereal at 4 months (like many many mothers do), do NOT give it in a bottle. Experts agree that this is not good. It's also a myth that it will keep them sleeping longer at night. Though there are people that swear that starting solids helped their baby STTN, most medical research backs up that it is a myth. Swaddling is going to help you a lot more than "cereal in a bottle" will.

I swaddled for a long time with a sleep positioner. It keeps them from turning over. I swaddled until they could get out of the swaddling. Then, I let them turn over and sleep on their tummies (though I always put them on their back at first). But, they would turn over on their own, on their tummy, and sleep fine. But, until they are strong enough to keep moving back and forth as they choose, they were swaddled with a sleep positioner.