Need Advice for Sleep Problem with 3 1/2 Year Old

I am new to this but, do you have a night light? I know that when my daughters were afriad of their bed, I asked them what they were a afraid of and search the room for those creepy critters that seem to live on their beds, then I put a low light it there and actually laaid down on the bed just to show them that the critter are gone. .. I know it may sound werid, but I also, have a baby monitor which I told my girls that I can listen to everything that happens in their room so, if them need me, they can call me on the monitor. .. He just doesn't feel safe yet and it will take time for that to go away...Maybe take away the naps for awhile. I know, no, not the naps, but, he will so tired that by the time it's time to go to bed he will probably just fall asleep. .. I hav emore but, this is what I used for my two girls and they seem to like that. P. G.

Quite simply put, he is traumatized by the fires and the situation. More than likely, you packed up and got out in a hurry. Your son probably picked up on the panic/anxiety in your mind and is now gearing up to be ready for something like that again. His whole world was disrupted and now he's on unsure footing. When I was younger, I remember my first earthquake. I REFUSED to sleep in my bed for a long time. I wanted to be on the floor to feel the house start to move so I coudl get to safety sooner. I made all sorts of tents out of blankets. Maybe that will help for your son too...let him make tents or "shelters" out of anything... towels, blankets, put up a real tent in his room. Anything to get him to enjoy or at least feel comfortable sleeping in his room. Do NOT shut the door unless he asks you too. It may mean that you need to be a little quieter so he can fall asleep, but at least he has the reassurance of hearing your sounds and knowing that if he cries out you will hear him. He will eventually move back to his bed, but give him time. Children don't adjust as easily to major changes like that as we adults do. We know what the situation is and we're able to protect ourselves. They rely on us for protection and feel helpless. Just be patient :D

Hi J.,
I, too, am the Mom of a 3 1/2 yr old boy. We are in the Scripps/Poway area and had to evacuate as well. We experienced the same sleeping problems you describe. Our son didn't want to be away from us and was scared about fire for a few months. Actually the fear still lingers..the other day he told me that he couldn't play outside becasue there was too much ash!
After the fires, he also wanted to sleep on the floor instead of in his bed. In order to keep him in his room, we let him sleep on the floor. We made a little "bed" on a rug with his blankets and stuffed animals. I decided that it was best to just let him sleep on the floor if it made him comfortable and I tried not to make too big a deal about it. After a few weeks, he decided that he wanted to return to his bed and luckily sleeping returned to normal.
Good luck!

Can you climb into bed with him to show it is alright for him to be there? Stay there until he is asleep and then get up. Worth a try.
E. H

hi J.,

I think it is more important to have him sleep anywhere he wants for now. We could fix the sleeping location later. I have 4 and 1/2 year old son. After we moved to a new house a year ago, he refused to sleep in his bed room. If we tried to put him in his bed room, he cried and did not want to sleep at all. He slept in a hall way for a long time. It seems like he needed to hear a noise from my husband office and my bed room and wanted to make sure that people were around him when he fall asleep. What we did was to , first of all, make his bed room attractive as possible like putting a new cute light and starts (grow in a dark) on a ceiling etc, and then we moved his sleeping area in a hall way by a little by little close to his bed room. Now his bed is IN HIS Bed room!! His bed is by the door so that he still can hear our noise. He still wakes up around 3:00am to go to pee pee and crows up to our bed after that. But it is much better than sleeping in a hall way. Maybe this is a little off the topic, but I think he needs "security" now.

It sounds as if the change in living/sleeping places definitely had an effect on your son. At the temporary shelter/home, where did your son sleep? Did he sleep on the floor with a sleeping bag or blankets? If so, maybe he got used to that and/or is missing that. He may have felt that it was an adventure. Have you tried putting a sleeping bag on his bed for him? You also may want to try removing any toys or stuffed animals off of his bed. If he is having bad dreams, the toys or stuffed animals might be a bit scary for him now even if they weren't before. I know the last one happened with my dear daughter before she moved to her toddler bed. Lastly, if he's in a big boy bed and not a toddler bed, perhaps he has fallen out before and is now scared of falling out. If he's in a big bed, you may want to pick up some side rails for it. Before doing all of those things, you may just want to try talking to him and ask him, why he doesn't like sleeping in his bed anymore? Hope this helps.
Mom of 2 (4 1/2yr & 29 mos.)

I know of something that works very well. I will send you a personal email.

It may be a control issue out of fear because of the fires. Why not let him sleep on the floor of his room? As long as he stays in his room at night starting at a certain time, I think over time, he will want to sleep in his bed again. The more you force the issue, the harder it will become. Also, maybe getting him some cool new sheets for his bed may help.