Need Advice for Potty Training...

Updated on May 05, 2008
K.H. asks from Tampa, FL
4 answers

Ok, I finally decided instead of giving advice, I'd ask for some, lol. I have three children, my two boys came first, then my daughter, ohhhh my daughter, she's really a great child, but when it comes to potty training it's like she's bipolar. I don't know what to do with her, she's 3 1/2, and still in pull ups. I know that's not too old, but what really worries me is when I even ask her about going potty, she totally flips on me, I mean she throws her hands in the air, starts screaming things I can't understand, covers her face and cries while mumbling, it's like watching a soap opera in a language other than one I speak. As this may seem entertaining, it's not anymore, I try really hard to talk to her, to read to her, and to show her about going potty, but she just doesn't want to hear it. She's very quick to run into the bathroom if I say I have to go potty, she wants to hand me toilet paper, and flush for me, and I've tried taking that away from her by telling her that only big girls who go potty can do those things, that didn't work, I've tried just letting her be and hoping she'd just grow out of it and finally give in, but where I draw the line is the fact that she always knows when she has to go, she'll tell me, but if I put her on the potty to try and beat her to the punch, she flips out, and she won't go until I put her back in a pull up. She's getting too old for this, she's continuously getting rashes now, and we are always changing her, and pull ups and diapers are sooooo expensive, I've been changing diapers now for 8 years straight, I've yet to have a break, and I'd really like one. Does anyone else have this problem, or had this problem? I'm at a loss here on what to do, or how to do it. My boys weren't this difficult to potty train, and I just want to be done with the diapers. Please help me!!! I really need to know what I'm doing wrong, if anything, and how to change this. Thanks in advance ;O)

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone so much for your advice, I really appreciate hearing from other people who knew what I was going through. As times get tougher diaper are harder and harder to buy, just can't afford them anymore. So, I had taken my daughter with me to Walmart a couple of weeks after this post, I called my husband and asked him to tell me how many diapers we had left, of course there were only about 7, well that won't last another week, so I went to the diaper department, looked over, and there was the little girls department. Hmmmmmm, I thought, and strolled my dauter right over to the little girls department, showed her the underwear, which she quickly protested, screamed, cried, and threw a real fit over, I just laughed, grabbed a pack of Disney Princess panties, and said here you go. Now I've never been one for bribing, I hate that I had to, but for her it worked, I told her that if she went in the potty like a big girl that I would buy her big girl makeup, and a pretty princess dress, and it was like night and day, she went in the potty, and I praised her. It took a little for #2 in the potty, but she is finally completely potty trained, and I am finally done with 8 years of diaper changing, wooohooo!!! Thanks again to all of you who gave me advice, I just want you all to know that I am very appreciative. Take care.

Candi ;O)

More Answers

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D.D.

answers from Tampa on

Hello. I have to say potty training my daughter has so far been the most stressful part of raising her! My daughter caught on pretty quick to going number #1 on the potty but it wasn't until 4 months later that she would actually go #2 in the potty. Her teacher gave me an idea and it's what finally got her to start going #2 on the potty. First we got an old box with a lid on it and I let my daughter draw all over it and cover it up with stickers...it was then called the "treasure chest". Then I went out to the dollar store and bought about $15 dollars worth or toys/candy and wrapped them up and put them in the box. I told my daughter that if she went #2 on the potty she got to pick out a prize from the treause chest. Within a couple of days she finally got it right and we were done with pull ups for good. Hopefully this idea might work out for you and your daughter...good luck!

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B.D.

answers from Tampa on

What worked for us was this...we never used pull-ups. When it was time to stop using diapers, we just went right to panites. Yes, you have some cleaning up to do, but kids don't like to be wet. It seems to really get them to stop going in their pants faster. The pull ups just confuse kids. They can still pee in their pants with no real problems. Why not? We also used a reward. My kids rarely get candy, so that was what we did. If you went in the potty, you got a piece of candy. That didn't take long.

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N.B.

answers from Tampa on

Hi K.,
Oh I feel for you! My son potty trained about 2 or 3 months ago and he'll be 4 in July. I went through some similar things as you and finally just decided that he would be ready when HE was ready and not a second before that! I have a portable potty for him that I left in the living room for him and one day he sat down on it and went pee. It was his own choice and I praised him up and down for it. Thankfully it was a day that we could stay close to home all day and I let him run around the house naked all day. All that day he went on his potty! My husband and I decided not to put him back in a diaper, we thought that could be confusing for him. So except a pull up at nap and night time he hasn't been in a diaper since. I carried the portable potty in the car with us for about a week and as we would get in and out of the car I would ask him if he needed to go and if he said yes great and if he said no I respected that. He only had two accidents.

Even though you think your daughter is ready, she may not quite be there yet. If you ask her repeatedly to use the potty or put her on the potty instead of letting her do it, she may just dig her heels in to take back the power. You can't force them to eat or go potty! If you have a portable potty I would pull it out and set it somewhere in the house she can see it. Let her run around naked, if she has an accident it's part of her learning. Maybe just expect accidents,be calm and reassuring if she has one.

When he first trained I would carry an extra set of clothes and wipes wherever we went. For just in case.

Some people choose to use rewards or bribes to get their kids to sit on the potty. We chose not to do that. We have to trust them when they tell us they don't have to go, they need to learn their own body and if we question that then they might not trust themselves. For instance I sometimes try to get my son to go pee before bed time and nap time. In hopes of getting more than one wear out of a pull up, saves money. But whenever I do that he digs his heels right in and refuses to go even if he has to. A reminder to myself that I have to let him lead on this.

Hope this helps! Good luck to you!!
N.

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K.C.

answers from Tampa on

I went through the same thing with my daughter. She always screamed and yelled when I suggested she use the potty. She had used it before, the whole week we were on vacation. As soon as we got back home, she refused to use it. One week before her 3rd birthday, my sister started giving her treats to use the potty. Not something I agreed with at the time, but it worked. I surely didn't want to bride her to go to the bathroom. But, it has now been 2 months and she goes on her own. She even stopped wearing pullups to bed 2 weeks ago. And she hasn't had any accidents in 2 weeks, day or night.

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