Need Advice Choosing a Church

I vote for making sure your son is getting as much as possible out of church.

If you enjoy the sermons and like the people at the less traditional church I think you should go there. If you don't enjoy the sermons or feel that you get anything out of them, you need to continue to look for another church.

I think I would try to find one that meets both your needs. But if you cannot, then you need to find ways to make it more appealing to him without giving up on what you believe matters.

Obviously, tons of people are going to have tons of opinions on this question. But for our family, I think that the reason we go to church is not about making my child happy, so that isn't a criteria for choosing where we worship. Our kids actually do really like our church, though. And they only have one age mates. There were a grand total of 3 kids (including my 2) for the past 3 years. My daughter is 3 years younger than my son and the one other child. But that was really not relevant to them. Sure they have enjoyed the company of the one other kid, but there aren't enough kids to have many "kid functions". It is a small church and if there is a function, usually everyone is involved.

We discuss why we go to church, what we learn and receive there, and a whole gammut (sp?) of theological issues. We explained to our kids (over time and as they grew--not all in one sitting) WHY we do the things we do. WHY certain practices are followed. WHY we have confession at the beginning of the service. WHY the colors on the altar are red or green or white or whatever the color of the season we are in is. WHY ______. They really get a lot more out of it than you might think, when they are not distracted from the meat of it by all the "extraneous" "schtuff".
Again-- please nobody be offended if you don't worship the way WE do. We are LCMS (Lutheran) and our pastor wears vestments, our son is an acolyte and wears the appropriate robe and shows respect at the altar, etc. So there is a lot we can talk about. Our kids have enjoyed learning the "whys" of how we worship. They even enjoy the liturgy, which some people may find boring and dull. But we don't and our kids don't. They enjoy it.

My personal feeling is that there are probably reasons you are solid and have a developed faith. Think about how you got there and how you maintain that faith and use that knowledge when you are deciding how to teach your son the faith also. I think sometimes with children, they "need" what we parents often don't want to be bothered to give them--time when they are not 'entertained', and are made to be still. It is good for them to be still. Brings to mind Psalms 46: .."Be still and know that I am God..."

Blessings on your search.

We go to a very contemporary church - rock band in the corner, etc.

It's not what I grew up with, but it really does bring the kids into the religion without turning them off. Personally, I would have liked this when I was a kid. I found church to be kind of torture when I was young. I basically sat there because I had to. Here, the kids get to jump in bouncy castles before Sunday school...it's very entertaining, but they do get down to teaching Sunday school after all the fun and games.

I have walked this journey before...the church that I have attended for the past 30 plus years has never really had much of a young membership...there were 2 other families with young children when my children were young and we were attending as a family. When our pastors' wife had to give up the youth department, because of health issues, there was suddenly NOTHING there for my children or any of the others. I chose to go on a search for another church...one that my children could feel at home and more centered in. After a year of being "spiritual gypsies" and going from church to church to church...I ended up right back where we had begun. I could not find a church that my children agreed on...so we went back "home" where we loved the people and I could serve as church pianist and lead the praise and worship team. Unfortunately my children quit going to church at all as soon as they were old enough to make that decision. Looking back...I wish I had moved to another church much quicker...I wish I had gotten them involved in a group of church going children at a really young age...and given them some real "roots" in their church and in their belief...I can't help but think that I made a very selfish decision and that they are paying for it now.

Despite being a "traditional" Catholic, I really understand where you're coming from. Is it not possible for your son to attend a "youth mass" and for you to go to the church you like, maybe on Saturday evening? Personally I believe that YOUR needs are as important as your son's and neither of you should have to sacrifice for the other. Believe me, the surest way to turn a child AGAINST attending church as an adult is to force him to go when / where he doesn't want to!! My 16 year old daughter goes to a different church on a Friday evening (because all her friends go there) and we go to "our" church on Sunday morning. It was her choice to do that and I'm happy to let her explore other "styles" of religion. May God Bless you and your family irrespective of where you choose to worship!

definitely make this a child-centered decision! I would choose no battles on Sunday morning over a more traditional church!

Faith Community Church
1211 East Badillo Street
West Covina, CA 91790

...."committed to providing you and your family with the resources you need to help you grow and mature in your spirit, mind, body and soul. The ministries at Faith are designed to meet the needs of individuals from various backgrounds seeking growth and development in their lives".

From: claremont ca
14.5 mi (about 21 mins)
1. Head east on W Bonita Ave toward N Indian Hill Blvd 125 ft
2. Take the 1st right onto N Indian Hill Blvd 1.0 mi
3. Turn right to merge onto I-10 W 12.1 mi
4. Take exit 35 for Vincent Ave 0.2 mi
5. Turn right onto N Vincent Ave 0.9 mi
6. Turn right onto W Badillo St 0.2 mi
7. Turn left 108 ft

is it possible to attend the one your son likes regularly and the one you like on occasion?

Check and see if either of the churches you found have alternative services or blended services. Many of the churches in our Texas area do offer several formats to meet the needs of those who prefer traditional and those who prefer contemporary worship. Maybe a compromise ? Also, maybe by driving a little farther you could find something that meets both your needs. Good luck!

Not sure of your location but St. Alban's Episcopal Church in Westwood is awesome.

All Saints Church Pasadena is a progressive Episcopalian church across from Pasadena City Hall on Euclid St. There are lots of children there of all ages. I know of teenagers who didn't even attend ASC yet attended the youth program because it was awesome. The format of the service is very traditional but the message is progressive. ASC's values are love, peace, social justice and inclusion. If are those are your values this is the place for you. We have lots of people with a faith tradition, no tradition or who come from other traditions. It also have an awesome adult education hour at which nation and international figures come to speak about contemporary issues. I'm not a "church" person but I love ASC and couldn't get by without it. It is a hopeful and inspirational place.

I think you need to keep looking. It's important for all of you to be happy. I am from Claremont, and now live in Rancho Cucamonga. So, I know that Claremont and the surrounding area have lots of church options.
And, it is possible, you may have to branch out. You will find the Lutheran church and Methodist church, and even the Presbyterian church to be similar. I grew up going to the Claremont Presbyterian Church. I haven't been in years, but it was more traditional at the time and had a great youth program. My husband grew up going to Good Shepherd Lutheran Church on Towne Avenue. They have a contemporary AND a traditional service and a really good youth program. My MIL attends there and my daughter sometimes joins her there, and she attends their VBS every summer. We now attend a Nazarene church and absolutely love it. The foundation and principles of belief are similar. They have a great children's/youth program and all three of my kids (ages 9-19) LOVE it there. But, it is more contemporary. My 9 year old gets upset if we can't go for some reason. And my 16 year old has been known to pass up Wed night activities with friends (like laser tagging, etc), saying "sorry, I go to church that night."
Keep looking. Try more churches. I am sure you will find one that you can call home.
Good luck and God Bless!